8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

JUL 16, 2015

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

12 Things You Should Never Ask Your Boyfriend

Because we're getting in trouble no matter how we answer.
ByFrankKobola

FOX

1."ShouldIgetmyhaircut?"Yes?No?Welike...yourhair?Ifyou'rejusttakinghalfaninchoff
orsomething,we'renotevengoingtonotice(unlessyoualreadyhaveyourhairshort...likehalfan
inchshort).Thisisjustputtingusinasituationwherethreethingscouldhappen:Wesay"yes,"and

yougetoffendedbecausewedon'tlikeyourhairasis.Wesay"no,"andyoucutitanyway.Orweboth
happentoagree.Noneofthosesituationsareconstructiveandatleastoneendsinyougettingmadat
us.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

1/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

2."Whichdresslooksbest?"Ouranswerisalwaysgoingtobetheonethatshowsoffyour
cleavagethemostandthenyou'regoingtogetmadwechosethatone.
."Doyouwanttocometomymom'sbirthdayparty?"No.We'regoingtogobecausewe're
3
obligated,butwe'dratherstayhomeandscrewaround.Pleasedon'tteaseuswiththeillusionof
choice.Justtelluswhatdayitis.
4.Literallyanythingaboutyourweight.Anything.You'regood.Youlookgood.Andifyou're
asking,you'renotgoingtobelieveusanyway.Justdon'tsweatit.

MORE FROM COSMOPOLITAN

Yep, Men Fake Orgasms Sometimes, Too. Here's How.

These 10 Photos Show What It's Really Like to Be a

5."Didyourexdothisbetter?"Asfaraswe'reconcerned,ourexisdeadtoussoitdoesn't
matter.
6."DofindJenniferLawrenceattractive?"Pleasedon'taskthis,becausetheansweris"yes"
andyoudon'twanttohearussay"yes"andwe'realsobadliars.Plus,itdoesn'tmeanwedon'tlike
you.Itjustmeanswehaveeyes.
."Howoftendoyoumasturbate?"Literallyanytimeyouaren'tlookingatus.Allright,not
7
literally,butitmightaswellbe.Wedoitalot.Andwedon'treallywanttotalktoyouaboutitbecause
that'sweird.
8."Noticeanythingdifferent?"Theonlytimeyoushouldaskthisquestionisifyouliterallywant
yourboyfriendtoshithispantsforsomereason.Weprobablydon'tknow,unlessit'ssomething
incrediblyobviouslikeyoudyedyourhaira(drastically)differentcolororsurgicallygraftedyour
iPhonetoyourface.Pleasedon'tmakeusguess.
9."Wasthatthebestsexyou'veeverhad?"Here'sthething:Theanswertothisisalwaysyes.
That'seitherbecauseit'strueorbecausewe'relying.Savebothofustheawkwardnessofthequestion
andjustbecontentwithknowingwe'regoingtotellyou"yes."
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

2/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

10."Whatareyouthinkingabout?"Somethingstupid.It'salwayssomethingstupidandthe
reasonwedon'twanttotellyouisthatitwouldtakewaytoolongtoexplainwhywe'rethinkingabout
whatwouldhappenifTheIncredibleHulkweredraftedtotheNewYorkYankeesandtheyplayed
baseballonthemoonandwearealsoallbestfriends.It'snotbecausewewerethinkingofbreaking
upwithyouorevenaboutyouatall.Wewerehonestlydaydreamingaboutthedumbestthingever
anditisn'tworthexplaining.
11."Canwetalk?"Thisisfrighteningnomatterwhoasksit.Ifitcomesfromyourpartneroryour
bossorafriendorevenifyourfuckingmailmanknocksonyourdoorandasksthisquestion.Thisis
shorthandfor"let'stalkaboutseriousbusiness"andthat'sneverfun.Thisisespeciallyevilifyouadd
"later"totheendofthesentence,makinguswalkaroundalldayinaperpetualpoolofcoldsweat.
12."Areyoustillgoingtothegym?"Nope,andnowweknowit'sshowing.
FollowFrankonTwitter.

10

Comment

Jointheconversation

C O S M O

Advertisement

M A R K E T P L A C E

01. Vitamins for Hair Growth

04. How to Boost Libido

07. Take a Depression Test

02. Anti Aging Creams

05. Lose 10 Pounds in a Week

08. Best Cellulite Creams

03. Best BB Creams

06. How to Keep Your Man

09. Lose Weight in 3 Days

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

3/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

RECOMMENDED

10 Things He Loves About Your

Face

11 Reasons He Loves Spending

Time With You More Than Anyone
Else

12 Embarrassing Moments That

Every Couple Endures

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

4/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

9Comments

Sortby Newest

Addacomment...

AlexArmstrong
Ifyoucan'taskyourboyfriendsthesequestionsandgetaneasyanswer,youmighthaveto
reexamineyourrelationship.Asfortheoneabouttheex,ifyoucan'thandlethatanswer,
whywouldyouaskit?
LikeReply

3Aug2,20156:28am

ElizabethParrWorksatU.SArmy
Ithinkthisshouldberenamed12thingsyou'regoingtoaskyourboyfriend/husband
LikeReply

1Aug1,201510:40pm

JenniferPelfreyUniversityofFlorida
Menhavejustasmuchselfcontrolaswomen.Masturbationisn'ta"need."Tiredofmen
justifyingtheirbehaviorbecauseit'sjusta"guy"thing.
LikeReply

1Jul29,201512:04am

KristinaPruettSalesatPotteryBarnKidsTheWoodlandsTexas
Sowhatiftheymb.
LikeReply

4Jul31,201511:00pm

CaitlinSwartzD'YouvilleCollege
Oldermenactuallydon'tmasturbateallthetime.Justfeltlikethatshouldbenoted.
LikeReplyJul23,20152:31pm

VaniaFloresZunoFrontDesk(STAR)atCentralWashingtonUniversity
Ifyou'reinahealthyrelationshipnineoftheseshouldbeaproblem..
LikeReply

6Jul19,20157:00am

Load4morecomments

FacebookCommentsPlugin

MOREFROM

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

5/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Yep, Men Fake Orgasms Sometimes, Too. Here's How.

Isthiswhatwelooklike!? ByLauraBeck

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

6/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

These 10 Photos Show What It's Really Like to Be a Phone Sex Operator
"Ithinkifallwomendidphonesexbeforetheylosttheirvirginity,theywouldmakemuchbetter
choices." ByLaneMoore

The 6 Most Overrated Sex Positions

Whyarewestilltryingto69,youguys?Why?! ByLaneMoore

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

7/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

10 Flats Problems Every Woman Understands

Whenyoutripandhavenoexcusebecauseyou'renotevenwearingheels. ByLaneMoore

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

MORE FROM SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Newsletter

Digital Editions

About Us

Press Room

Contact Us

Community Guidelines

Advertise Online

About Our Ads

Cosmo Books

Work for Cosmo

Subscribe

Become a Cosmo Intern

Other Hearst Subscriptions

Customer Service
Give a Gift

Events & Promotions

Giveaways

Being Green

Why Did I Get This Ad?

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

8/9

8/17/2015

12ThingsYouShouldNeverAskYourBoyfriend

A PART OF HEARST DIGITAL MEDIA

2015 Hearst Communications, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy

Your California Privacy Rights

Terms of Use

Site Map

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexlove/news/a43397/thingsyoushouldneveraskyourboyfriend/?mag=cos&click=c1_article_news_yr_1

9/9