The Bachelor Movement

Running head: THE BACHELOR MOVEMENT

The Bachelor Movement

Sarah Knapp
Madonna University
March 31, 2016

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Abstract

Reality romance television shows like The Bachelor have millions of viewers that are
captivated by the unrealistic portrayal of love on the show. It is rare that the relationships last on
the show but yet for 30 seasons, these viewers continue to watch year after year. It has been
proven that the show can affect the viewers relationship and that it is degrading to women. Love
is portrayed in an unrealistic way and demonstrates how our societys idea of love has evolved in
the recent decades. Despite this childish and fake love, there have been relationships that have
turned into successful marriages. Also, viewers across the nation have been brought together
because of their attraction with the show.

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The Bachelor Movement

Reality television has become a major trend in recent decades. This type of television is a
genre in which real people are constantly filmed as a source of entertainment. Millions of viewers
tune in to shows that are claimed as reality on various networks that stream on television. Reality
television is enticing. It has a very strong appeal that keeps viewers following. Reality television
has the ability to almost make the viewers feel as if they are apart of the lives of the people on the
show, like they are right there with them watching their life like its a story. There are various
types of reality television. A major genre that one might question the reality of it is romance
reality. How is it that two people can meet on a reality television show and instantly fall in love
and live happily ever after? The TV phenomenon, The Bachelor, has captivated the world for
over 20 years portraying the idea that in a few short weeks, after 20 plus girls compete for one
mans affection, a couple can fall in love with the entire world watching and marry the love of
their life that did not even exist to them six weeks prior. Reality romance television shows like
The Bachelor demonstrate an unrealistic portrayal of love that is strictly one dimensional.
The main point of the television show The Bachelor is that many women compete for
the love and affection of one man who is the featured bachelor. Each week on the show, the
bachelor sends home a few women at the rose ceremony who he does not see the relationship
progressing. The women who receive roses continue to date the bachelor. Each week they travel
the globe to try and find love in various places. They go on extravagant dates and have the
cameras on them constantly. Many question what kind of realistic relationship can come from
such an unrealistic dating experience like the one The Bachelor offers?
The show sends questionable messages about how dating and relationships should be. It
gives the idea that women need to compete for a mans affection in order to find love. This idea

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results in self-esteem issues for women. The show shows that love is a competition. But this is
not what love is about (Rust, 2014.) Its about connecting with another human being, no
particular trait is guaranteed to get you the attention of the guy you want, but the women on this
show work only for that purpose (Rust, 2014.) Reality television really does have the ability to
influence the viewers. This T.V. show is popular amongst high schoolers. The problem with this
is that we may not realize how negative messages are affecting us subconsciously. I watch
Bachelor for all the crazy girls. I like to make fun of them, said Stephanie McMahon,
sophomore. This problem of perpetrating negative messages extends beyond The Bachelor and
The Bachelorette. Many reality shows could be accused of sending bad messages (Rust,
2014). As viewers, we say that we realize how crazy and unrealistic this setup to find love is, but
being so consumed in a show allows us to not even realize the effects that the show is having.
The show completely distorts the idea behind love and what love really is. The
contestants on this game show think that this path the best way to find love. I cant shake how
messed up the idea of love is with contestants on the show. I have to question how someone who
claims theyre looking for true love can say, Yes, the best way to find it is to go on a national
game show where the prize is a marriage proposal (Clark, 2011.) Societys idea of love has
completely evolved as technology and media have increased in importance in daily life. There is
a whole new way of living that is the result. Clark argues that love has evolved into the need for
constant attention which causes many women to disregard any standards in their quest to find
love (2011). Genuine romance can easily be is taken from attention seeking in todays society.
The show portrays women especially in a negative and degrading way. For example, the
various bachelors have the power to send any women home at any time. Mascara-stained cheeks

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and woe is me speeches reinforce certain stereotypes about women: we fall hard; we fall fast;
we are devastated whenever a relationship ends; and were all certifiably insane (Kerr, 2012).
Some may argue that The Bachelorette gives the women total control. That the bachelorette
herself has the power to send home whoever she chooses, however, it is never that simple. Kerr
states that, Although she still controls her fate, she rarely, if ever, insists that the man of her
choosing relocate to wherever she lives. Not only does she refrain from insisting on it; she never
even mentions it, whereas the Bachelor spends approximately half of his conversations with his
suitors discussing whether or not they would be willing to move for him (2012.) It would be
ideal and assumed that the bachelor or the bachelorette would have the control, but the
bachelorette never quite achieves that. Male dominance takes over.
On the first night of the show, when the women come out of the limo and meet the
bachelor for the first time, it is dumbfounding how many of them exit the limo and walk into the
bachelor mansion saying how they want to be the one to marry him. These women profess this
want and desire for marriage before they have even met the man that they say they want to marry.
This is not true love. How can you say that you want to marry a man you know absolutely
nothing about? How can you marry a man after 6 weeks of dating him while he is dating 20 plus
women throughout the time span? Maybe this depends on every persons own relationship
standards but for me personally, I would have to be a little more realistic than that. Kerr points
out how it is so rare for a woman on the show to ever question the man and think about if this
man has what it is they are looking for (2011). Or are they just going to compete on this game
show for the recognition across America, looking for other opportunities? But its not a fairytale ending for those who have won "The Bachelor" over the years either. After the cameras are
off and the elaborate dates are done, very few of the couples actually end up married. Once the

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real courtship begins, the thrill that comes from getting all the attention is gone. Then the search
for love starts again (Clark, 2011).
Being engaged to someone after six weeks of knowing them from a television show
seems absolutely outrageous in my opinion. Love and relationships change over time (Muise,
2011). The show is all for making this lifelong commitment very early in the relationship.
Typically, the more realistic and thought out option would be to wait to make any commitment
like that until the relationship is in a more real and stable state (Muise, 2011). Love is a process.
While love at first sight is possible, it seems childish to make a life-long commitment to
someone based solely on initial attraction.
Is it actually possible for The Bachelor to damage the viewers relationship? Reeder
found that, The more romantic programming people watched, the more they believed they had
good alternatives to their marriage, and also, the lower their commitment to their marriage
(2013). Reeder also found that people who watched excessive amounts of romantic reality
television programs believed that the reality portrayal could be compared equally to their own
relationships which then resulted in lowered commitment levels. It is normal to compare
relationships to others but the media can easily increase any expectations that are pre-existent. If
the viewer reminds his or herself that it isnt always real, commitment to the viewers current
relationship should remain stable (Reeder, 2013).
The show easily has the ability to affect the viewers emotions in countless ways but what
about the emotions and feelings of the women on the show? These women are rejected on
national television. Once these women are rejected, they are not allowed to speak to anyone
about what happened. Therefore, they are forced to hold in all of their feelings and emotions until
the show is aired. And while it seems implausible that spending time together in front of

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cameras and a production crew for a few weeks would generate real emotions from the
participants in a reality show, psychology has shown that people can bond quite quickly, and
rejection can hurt from any source (Brownstein, 2009). Suppression of feelings and emotions
has proven to be detrimental to a persons overall well-being. The contestants exclusion and
contract to remain silence about the happenings and their feelings is the recipe for a disaster
(Brownstein, 2009). Humans are inclined naturally to reach out for support and help in situations
that are negatively affecting them. In the lab, DeWall said, researchers have found that
suppressing emotion for even as little as 15 minutes is related to all sorts of negative
consequences -- both emotional and physical (Brownstein, 2009). Real life consequences have
been seen to be an outcome of reality television. Brownstein stated that, Emotional pain has
dogged reality television shows since their introduction. In 1997, Sinisa Savija, a participant on
the Swedish show "Expedition Robinson," was voted off first and committed suicide shortly
thereafter. In 2005, Najai Turpin, the first contestant to lose on the boxing reality show "The
Contender," also committed suicide (2009). When love and real feelings are brought into a
game show, reality television setting, the contestants emotions and physiological affects should
be given higher value.
The Bachelor contributes highly to false relationship ideals and expectations. Muise
states that research has proven that people who watch excessive amounts of this romance
television develop unrealistic expectations for relationships that can in the end harm real- life
relationships (as cited in Segrin & Nabi, 2002). It is rare to see a typical date occur on the show.
A viewer can expect a private concert or helicopter ride as the average date for the night. The
idea that partners are always supposed to get along and never disagree is another false message
given off from reality romance shows like The Bachelor (Muise, 2011). The extravagant dates

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and constantly being occupied by cameras and a film crew does not continue when the six week
show ends. It is almost like beginning an entire new relationship once ended based on initial
attraction and chemistry. At least, that is how it should end, not in a marriage proposal. These
false expectations can easily be carried out into future relationships.
The show has proven season after season that usually the relationships do not make it
much past the show. It is a rare occurrence that they end in a successful marriage that can survive
in the real world. Through the 30 total seasons between The Bachelor and The Bachlorette,
there have been a total of six relationships that have ended in successful marriages. These few
instances prove that the show can be successful in finding true love that lasts, even though it has
proven to not be common and happens in an outrageous way.
The Bachelor does not always negatively affect the viewers relationship. Muise argues
that the effects of the show depend on how it is the viewer watches it (as cited in Galician, 2004).
If the show is viewed as a comedy and watched solely for entertainment purposes, it is next to
harmless. It is important to recognize that these reality shows are anything but real (Muise,
2011). Many viewers view the show in a way that makes the absurdity easily visible to them.
This makes the show a little less harmless and more like the game show that it can be argued to
be.
The term, bachelor nation has been used to describe the millions of fans obsessed and
in complete fascination with the show. Many of these fans have been following the show for
decades. Bachelor viewing parties are a common occurrence across bachelor nation and it is not
uncommon to find many women together drinking wine obsessing over their favorite sparking
couples. The show is essentially a bonding experience for women (Gray, 2012). Many may

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argue that if the show is rarely proven to be successful, why do millions of Americans continue
to watch?
One dominant reason that the show continues to be such a major success are the traditions
and rituals that accompany the show. Even with the low success rate, bachelor nation continues
to support because the rituals of show keep the fans attached. Rituals attract viewers attention
and emotions. The familiarity of the show and the rituals that occur season after season cause the
viewers not to question the absurdity because it has become so familiar. An immunity to the
outrageous occurrences is able to develop. Of course, real life, and love in real life, is rarely, if
ever predictable; all the more reason to be swept up in the rigid order of The Bachelor
universe (Goldstein, 2014). Rituals that repeat over and over again make the viewers forget the
outrageousness of the happenings of the show. Before you know it, youre thinking that its all
normal when without brainwashing, its viewed as beyond unrealistic. The bachelor picking a
woman out of a line and sending her home into the car to the airport with her suit case in hand, in
front of the other women with millions of viewers watching is actually incredibly degrading.
Although, when viewed in ritual, it is seen as completely normal and the degredation is not
visible (Goldstein, 2014).
The show gives hope to viewers that love really can be found in the most untraditional
ways even though it is a rare occurrence. For all its outlandish trappings, The Bachelor relies
on the simplest premise: our all too human hope that you can find love anywhere, anytime, with
anyone (Goldstein, 2014). It delivers a message of hope that love can be found where it is least
expected in situations that arent anywhere close to ideal.
It can also be argued that the unrealities of the relationships on the show make those
viewers grateful for the real thing or their own relationships. Confidence is taken and it is natural

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to feel a little better in yourself/ own relationship when you see how chaotic someone elses is.
In what world are we supposed to believe that 25 random girls would all fall madly in love with
one dopey dude (and in a matter of hours)? (Gray, 2012). The Bachelor can be a healthy
escape from the chaos of our daily lives and does not need to be taken so seriously. It gives us
countless reasons to appreciate the real relationships that we have and gives us something to
compare our own lives too (Gray, 2012.)
Although the relationships dominantly fail and the idea of love is damaged because of the
show, The Bachelor has proven to be successful in creating marriages that have lasted and
gives hope that love can be found in the most unexpected ways and places. The show has become
a phenomenon that has moved and recruited millions of loyal fans, bringing them together in the
hope of watching love unfold. The Bachelor has created a network of viewers, obsessed with
the idea of competing for love.
The unrealistic view of marriage and the spectacle that the show can be described as both
go to show how society has evolved. Portraying love on a reality television show as a spectacle
just goes to demonstrate the unreality of the concept. In past generations, this idea would be
interpreted as complete idiocrasy. The traditions of the show over an extended period of time
have developed this concept into something that is accepted as a new normal. All in all, the
purpose of the show is to produce and generate marriages. This just occurs in an unordinary way.
Because of this, millions of fans and viewer shave been drawn into this spectacle and
entertainment has been the result. Because marriage is such an old ritual in our society, it makes
the show that much more enticing. Traditional would not by any means be a way of describing
the way love is sought on this show. Marriage is not only not a new ritual, but The Bachelor
presents a new way of viewing an old ritual.

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So what does a show like this mean? What does it say about our society and cultural
ways? The Bachelor is basically saying that through a short six week process, filled with
few but extravagant dates and 20 plus other women marriage will be the ultimate result. In
this case, the steps to the result of a marriage are drastically amplified. After thoughtful
analysis, Ive determined that reality romance shows like The Bachelor propose a norm
of the cultural views of dating. The major differences are seen between the steps of a
relationship on a show like this versus a common relationship that we would see in a friend
or family member. This common relationship in our culture would be classified as a period
of going on dates, getting to know who the other person really is, what they do, what they
like and dislike, about their family and background, etc. If a connection is there and the
relationship continues to progress, an engagement may be the result after an extended
period of time. Marriage would then be the end result when their two lives have almost fit
into each other and love arisess.TV demonstrates that these are the cultural steps to a
marriage, just in an enhanced or unordinary way. If these steps are in lime, it is likely that a
successful marriage could result. Therefore, The Bachelor means that marriage rituals, no
matter the level of amplification of the steps that lead to marriage, can result in love. It
doesnt matter what happens on a TV show or in real life. Love can be discovered or it
cannot. It has no limits or rules. The Bachelor is a show that has the ability to
demonstrate this meaning to its viewers.

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References

Brownstein, J. (2009, March 5). Harsh 'reality': bachelor's emotional impact? Retrieved from
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=7006061&page=1
Clark, J. (2011, March 6). How The Bachelor shapes our cultural view of love. Retrieved from
http://thinkchristian.reframemedia.com/how-the-bachelor-shapes-our-cultural-view-of-love
Goldstein, J. (2014, May 25). The Bachelor has a secret: the psychology that keeps millions of
Americans tuned in. Retrieved from
http://thinkprogress.org/culture/2014/05/25/3440927/the-bachelor/
Galician, M.-L. (2004). Sex, love, and romance in the mass media: Analysis and criticism of
unrealistic portrayals and their influence. Mahway, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Gray, E. (2012, January 16). 'The Bachelor': why smart women watch (and love) it. Retrieved
from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-gray/the-bachelor-why-womenwatch_b_1200446.html
Kerr, M. (2012, March 5). What The Bachelor says about women and modern-day
relationships. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/millie-kerr/the-bachelorlessons_b_1321203.html
Muise, A., Dr. (2011, July 12). Is watching The Bachelorette bad for your relationship?
Retrieved from http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2011/7/12/is-watching-thebachelorette-bad-for-your-relationship.html
Reeder, H., Ph.D. (2013, February 26). Is "The Bachelor" hurting your relationship? Retrieved,
from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/i-can-relate/201302/is-the-bachelor-hurtingyour-relationship

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Rust, M. (2014, January 24). Is reality TV really affecting reality? Retrieved from
https://hrhschronicle.wordpress.com/2014/01/24/is-reality-tv-really-affecting-reality/
Segrin, C., & Nabi, R. L. (2002). Does television viewing cultivate unrealistic expectations
about marriage? Journal of Communication, 52, 247-263.

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