Corbin Hoffman

LBST 2101-338
Professor Sinclair
April 19, 2016
Motherly Advice
Who better to nurture a young adult with words of wisdom than his
own mother? Wisdom comes with experience, and my mother has certainly
taken full advantage of her time. This is why I decided to interview her to get
her wonderful motherly advice. Since she has been such a perfect model in
my life, I wanted to treat her to dinner. I took her to one of our favorite
restaurants that we have eaten at for at least six years. Hawthornes New
York Pizza and Bar has lots of great dishes and outstanding pizza. Family
dinners and special occasions usually end up there in my household.
My mother, Laura, is 52 years old. She was born and raised in South
Shore, Kentucky and graduated from Asbury College in 1985 with a degree in
Business Management and a minor in Spanish. She met my dad, Eric, in 1987
and they married in 1989 while living in California. They moved to Charlotte,
NC in 1990 and have been here ever since. She was a stay-at-home mom
while my sister and I were young, and then taught high school Art and
Spanish at Concord First Assembly Academy in Concord, NC until just
recently. She is now home caring for my father who was diagnosed 8 years
ago at the age of 46 with Parkinsons disease.
All of these steps in her life, leading up to the present, have shaped
her into someone those around her envy. With this being said, I was excited
to spend time with her. Once we got our food, I asked her, What is the good
life and is happiness a part of it? She replied, Many people have a different
answer to this question, but happiness or joy are usually the key
components. She added, I believe the good life is one where happiness and
pure joy reside; a life where you can enjoy successful, loving relationships
and can be content with whatever life throws at you. She asked me

questions and continued telling me that happiness can be obtained even

amidst trials. The good life doesnt have to be stress free. You can find
peace that passes all understanding - the peace that only God can provide.
She answered that by Gods grace we have all been made stronger and wiser
which allows us to appreciate the tough times.
Following her encouraging response, I asked her, How might one
attain the good life? She replied saying that 1 Peter 3:10-11 outlines
instructions explaining one way we can attain a good life. It says, Whoever
would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their
lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must
seek peace and pursue it. She said, By doing this you will find those loving
relationships and contentment.
To lighten the mood I asked what makes her happy. She answered that
her most meaningful relationships with God, her family and her friends make
her happy. They will forever be my reason for living She also said that
loving, serving and helping others brings her great happiness. She continued,
Knowing that at the end of the day if Ive brightened someone elses day,
Ive made a difference. For me, my mother is a very happy and optimistic
person. She can have down days but she is not going to be down for too
long. Life is too short! she says.
As we munched down our delicious pastas, we discussed more of the
subject. Do you think you have had a good life? Her answer, Yes, Ive had
a wonderful life! I have been in a faithful relationship with Christ since I have
been thirteen years old; I have a loving husband of 26 years, and two
beautiful children that I could not be more proud. My friends are like family
to me and I am blessed! Though she did not say her life has gone without
troubles, but through those troubles she has been able to grow mentally and
spiritually.

Later, I asked, Would you add anything in your life to make it better?
My mom responded saying if she would give herself more margin in her day
to complete things, and spend more time in her Bible study, she could totally
change her mood and the way she sees the world around her. She also said
that she would like to be more spiritually minded, rather than worldly minded
so she wouldnt worry about things so much. And jokingly she said, I would
also like to work out more to feel better physically.
We took a quick break from the interview and talked about other things
like college and life, but before we left, I asked her, What advice do you
have for me? She had three points. First, Always remember God is faithful
and He works all things out for good. She told me to not be afraid of trials.
Then she said, Secondly, find your passion. She said I need to believe in
something so that I can work towards the goal of making a difference in this
world. Finally, she stated, Love with all your might. She said my
relationship with God, my family and my friends will be my lifeline! They will
be the ones who celebrate and help me through the joys and sorrows of lifes
situations.
After our talk we drove home and I thanked her for being such an
amazing mom and for her great words. Her answers were very good and they
gave me something to think about. I was able to easily relate what she said
with what we have been learning in this class. When I asked her about the
good life she said its all about happiness, joy and peace. For my question
about what makes her happy, she answered relationships. She did not
mention anything about success or material things. I think it is safe to say
that she would agree with Johnathan Haidt with what he said about the
author of Ecclesiastes in chapter 5 of Happiness Hypothesis. The author says
that he has tried everything under the sun and found no satisfaction in any
material items the earth has to offer. Similarly, science asked what makes a
good life, and the scientific evidence shows that strong, lasting relationships
provide happiness and even health benefits. After studying data from many

subjects over a long period of time, Robert Waldinger said The clearest
message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep
us happier and healthier. Period. This is extraordinary and encouraging to
know that my mother has kept good relationships all her life. Hopefully she
will live to be 110!
It is also important to point out that my mom spoke of adversity and
trials. She told me life will not be easy. For her, she said that these trials have
caused her to grow. This is related to the posttraumatic growth Haidt talks
about in chapter 7. He quotes Nietzsche--What doesnt kill you makes you
stronger. and Romans 5:3-4--Suffering produces endurance, and endurance
produces character, and character produces hope. This is all so inspiring!
The relief that I do not have to strive for material things and can grow from
adversity brings me joy. Also for my mother and me, the peace we have
through God puts such a small burden on us. As my mother said, we should
do good things for others and be grateful of our relationships and strive for
better ones. This opportunity far exceeded my expectations. With any luck, I
will be as wise as my mother.
Word Count: 1293