James

Things were a lot different when James moved out of the house. I had free reign of the
TV, I no longer had to share the computer or bathroom and I didnt have to work with his
schedule for a ride to school. On days when my dad worked, things got lonely especially caring
for a senior dog. Even though James and I never really got along, sometimes it would have been
nice to have someone else at home after school. We rarely got physical but we were nasty to
each other and the idea of brotherly love was a foreign concept to us. He fulfilled the stereotype
of an older brother and always made an effort to ensure sure that I understood my role as the
second child. For all of the positives of having an older sibling move out, the negatives won out
on this dreadful Monday.

James got a red cash box and I got a blue cash box. James knew the code to my cash
box but I could never figure out his code. He always saw an opportunity to add to his while I
constantly emptied mine. Most of the time, my lack of funds resulted from him selling me
something. One night, he saw an opportunity for a quick sale and didnt hesitate. A turtleneck of
his began to unravel at the sleeves. Rather than asking my mom to fix it, he cut the cuffs off of
the sleeves and sold them both to me for one dollar a piece. When my mom came up stairs to
make sure that I made it into bed, she laughed as she asked me why I had ratty grey cuffs around
each one of my wrists.
James sold them to me, I said confidently.
How much?
Two bucks.
She left my room and immediately walked into James room. I could hear their brief

conversation through the wall. My mom then walked back into my room with my money in her
hands as she told me to take the cuffs off.

Madison is my dog, James said as we sped down the highway. His comment
flustered me but I didnt know how to respond. Before I could think of anything, my mom
quickly intervened to end the conversation. I knew that James didnt own Madison but it
bothered me that he thought about things that way.

When I was in kindergarten, my family took vacation to Maui. As we sat waiting for
the ferry on Bainbridge, my mom unveiled two brand new GameBoy Colors; a lime green one
for me and a neon orange one for James. My parents figured that James and I wouldnt be able
to make it through the flight without a major distraction. We sat separated in our massive grey
leather captains chairs in the back of the new Suburban. I couldnt see how he got his GameBoy
to work and he saw me struggling but refused to help me. My whining started. With the
vacation off to a less than stellar start, my dad groaned from the front seat, James, help your
brother. James responded by showing me his GameBoy but failed to provide any advice. I
eventually figured it out one my own.

James and I went through cycles. Sometimes we acted like real brothers and other
times we could hardly speak to each other. This continued on through high school. We would
pass one another in the hallway and barely make any acknowledgments. He rarely attended my
sporting events and I stopped going to his. Despite our shared indifference, if I really needed
him, I knew that he would be there for me.

After a long week of basketball practice, two away games in Seattle and three tests,
tragedy struck. My mom woke me up that Sunday morning by raising my blind revealing the
cold but clear winter day. She sat on my bed and broke the news.
Grandpa Coatsworth had a stroke yesterday. Your dad is on a plane to Hawaii. Its
really bad.
I didnt know what to say or do. My mind immediately raced to the worst case
scenario as the tears started to run down my face; I would never see my grandpa again.
When I finally managed to form words I asked, Does James know?
Yeah, he knew last night.
I couldnt help but cry during church. I was unable to cope with the thought of losing
the smartest man I had ever known and my secondary father figure. My brother, mom and I sat
silently on the old wooden pew that over the years had become our own. The sun beamed
through the brightly colored stained glass windows. In the distance, Pastor Lori began her
sermon. Despite her loud and bubbly tone, her words didnt register with me. I could only think
about my grandpa. James noticed the pain in my face and said to me in the most confident tone,
Everything is going to be ok.

When James started college at the University of Washington, Madison really started to
go downhill. After my family decided it was time to put her to sleep, I asked, Doesnt James
want to see her one last time? My mom and dad convinced me that he was at peace with the
decision.

A couple months after my Grandpa suffered his stroke, James began feeling sick. He
experienced tingling in his fingers and toes and was constantly run down. I initially shook this
off as him adjusting to college and fraternity life. I eventually realized the seriousness of the
situation when I found out he could barely walk up a flight of stairs. James had never had any
serious health problems. He never needed glasses or braces and rarely got sick prior to college.
After several rounds of tests and numerous doctors, nobody could diagnose James. Eventually
after many nerve wracking weeks, we found out the he had GuillainBarr, a syndrome where
the body attacks parts of the nervous system sapping the patients strength. James managed to
beat the disorder, not once but twice as he suffered a relapse one year after the initial diagnosis.
Throughout this time, he had the incredible support of his fraternity brothers.

When I decided to attend the University of Washingtion, I knew where I needed to live.
After my first trip to my brothers fraternity I could tell that it was the right place for me. The
rush process, Early Fall Start and then the beginning of my freshman year all blurred together.
James and I started acting like real brothers as he helped me navigate through college life.
Before I knew it, our two years in the house together were over. Rather than the bickering ways
from our childhood, we respected each other.
I finished my sophomore year the day before James Law Societies and Justice graduation
ceremony. We had been texting prior to the event joking that we might both be a little bit
rundown at the event from celebrating the end of the school year. On the day of the graduation, I
met up with my parents in Red Square while James met with his classmates. I did my best to
look put together and show no signs of the previous nights festivities.

Inside of Kane Hall, I found myself saving seats for James and my parents wishing that I
could be back in bed. When I saw him walk into the lecture hall I couldnt help but laugh. To
the untrained eye he looked like he belonged there, purple dress shirt, khakis and shiny brown
dress shoes. But to me I could tell that he had been to a few too many bars the night before.
When he got up to the seats he sensed my misery.
How you feeling dude? he asked grinning.
Not great.
We started cracking up as we tried to compose ourselves before our parents returned.