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I go back!
They are standing at the other end of the bedroom now, Lola
my wife, my daughter and Harold, her husband. They are still,
teary-eyed and sniffling quietly as they look in my direction and at
the men. The paramedics are lifting my body from the bed onto a
stretcher. Some firemen are helping them. Big strong men,
inflated by their uniforms and outfits and large soiled boots. I just
vacuumed the carpets yesterday.
I observe how unusual it seems to be handled this way. I
have no comments to make. I can contribute nothing to what
they're saying or doing. Don't turn that way, you'll hit the lamp.
No, I'm perfectly content. I'm completely at their mercy and their
handling of my body. I let myself yield to their care of me; that is,
my body! I feel so well, I could crack a joke, so that they might
lighten up and smile a bit.
All these somber strangers in my bedroom is very strange!
No one comes into the bedroom except my wife and I, and an
occasional grandchild. This is like the last time; the time I had a
chest on fire with pain, a massive heart attack. Resuscitated four
times! This time no pain, just a soft sinking sensation while I
slept, and my heart, having beat for over one billion times, beat
for the last time. I know theyll say, what a nice way to go, he
didnt feel any pain!
Twisting, turning through the rooms; down the outside stairs
to the ambulance Im carried. Im praying all the way, but without
words, and not because Im fearful. Im not fearful at all. I'm
actually very peaceful. I think Im praying because it seems like
the most natural thing to do now. Its a wordless praying that
continues no matter what else is going on. To call it praying seems
to trivialize it. It's more like I have become prayer. My being itself
is a continuous prayer now. Being spiritually alive itself is praying;
is worship; is thankfulness and praise. How interesting! I recall
those scripture words of Jesus that said. when you are praying,
do not engage in meaningless repetition,... your Father knows
what you need before you ask Him. It would have been good to
live like that more, when I was in limited time.
In lifted time I dont need words to pray. I dont need words
because Im already understood, already heard, I guess. Im
known already and everything happening to me. I know the One
because Im full of that something else. That wonderful, powerful,
completely fulfilling something. It must be the One!
Now I recall! Ive had this experience before during times of
prayer or meditation, but for very brief moments only. Its the
Holy One, I'm sure! But this time, its permanent. How interesting
this is going to be.
No loud siren, as the ambulance moves without haste toward
the hospital. A somewhat bumpy but painless (of course!)
ride, to the hospital morgue. Is that where Im going? Never been
there before. Maybe it would have been good to have visited there
as preparation for today. I dont feel anything or have any opinion
about going there. I assume Ill be meeting some new people. Are
we people, or just corpses? Do we still call ourselves people?
I go absent!
I just used the word today. What day is it? My death day or
is it really my birthday? It's May, that much I remember. I was
born in May. May is a beautiful month. The sun is really warm for
the first time. Flowers coming up everywhere! There's floral
aromas in the air. And God's creatures come to life. I was actually
born on Mother's day. And I know the year. But all that
information is fading fast, like waking from and forgetting the
details of a dream. Was limited life a dream?
driver, driving at a fast speed, ran a red light and demolished his
car. The car tumbled over several times. Joseph bounced around
the inside of his car, sustaining many broken bones and brain
trauma, though he was wearing his seat belt. Now I notice the
deep concave area of his head, the displaced shoulder, and his
limp and misshapen arms and legs.
How traumatic the accident must have been. How awful for
his parents. He was in a coma for twelve days before he crossed
over. I'm glad I can only experience love, otherwise I might start
crying as I listen to his story about his devastated girlfriend; about
the high school vigil service that was held at the crash site.
Joseph also said that two years before he crossed over, he
happened to come upon a brochure called Steps to Christ, by an
Adventist author named Ellen White. He said that now he knows
that the Holy One placed it in his path, for it helped answer a lot
of questions about God, and stirred his faith in Christ. It was no
accident, he said. After hearing his story, we tell brother Joseph
that we love him.
I go absent!
That's interesting, I notice that when you're absent from
limited life, it's very comfortable to say that you love some one. In
my limited life that was very hard for me to say. Now, to love and
be loved, is the most natural; the only thing that makes any sense.
Love is everything here in the lifted life. I should have learned that
by now. Love is the deepest reality of our spiritual nature; and
here in lifted time, that's who and what we are. I guess you know
why!
Here in lifted life and time, love dominates. But very few
people are dominated by love in limited life. That included me! So
many other feelings and concerns dominated my life. Envy,
competition, pride, selfishness of many kinds, defensiveness,
others can see that they are doing what God wants.
See, I was keeping a lot of sin hidden in my life, and I sure
didnt want it exposed. But when I read that verse, I was exposed
to myself as a sinful man.
For one thing I had been a rebellious kid who gave my
parents and my sister a hard time ever since I turned 16. I got into
drinking and drugs for a while which caused them a lot of grief. I
wish I could have apologized to them before my deployment. I
wish I could hear them say Im forgiven. And, even worse, that
verse exposed the truth that I had cheated on my wife once. No
one knew about that except God and the chaplain. I asked Gods
forgiveness and received it.
Confession comes easy in the lifted life. Actually everything
about ourselves is open to everyone else because we are with the
Holy One, with whom there is no hiding, no concealment; no
darkness. But since there is perfect love in lifted life, there is no
fear of shame or judgment. This is the first time I've ever been
able to look at people (saints) face to face, knowing everything
about them and they knowing everything about me, without
shame. It's part of the fulfillment of lifted life.
I understand now what beloved John once said: There is no
fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to
do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in
love.
And beloved Paul must have had intimations of the lifted life
when he said: Over all these virtues put on love, which binds
them all together in perfect unity.
Interesting! I never really understood those scriptures as
descriptions of future lifted life, when I was in limited time.
I go absent!
I'm realizing that this going back and forth is temporary.
Until my body has been completed in limited time by the funeral
men and women; whether buried or incinerated, I cannot be fully
released to the fullness of lifted life. Technically, if I can use that
word, I have left my body and I'm with the Lord. But I'm still
related to my body until it is put to rest. For now I'm in a
transition stage. I can be absent to the present only because I was
once sealed with the Spirit. The sealing of the Spirit is a guarantee
that I will enjoy the fullness of the lifted life, but not yet. Saint
Paul spoke of the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed
for the day of redemption.
There's a few other things I am learning about lifted life. I'm
told about some events that I will be experiencing in the future. I
say I'm told; what I mean is that the knowledge has somehow
come to me.
I'm told that I will see people from my past and will have
extended conversations with them teachers, friends, coworkers, childhood playmates, high school and college friends,
best friends, and especially family. All those who have crossed
over before me or after me. Even those people I left behind with
whom I had reconciliation work to do. I wonder what forgiveness
is going to be like with these people?
If I had been told this in limited life, I know that I would
have had all kinds of reservations and apprehensions. But being
absent in the present I am free of any opinions or feelings about it.
Remember love is the only reality here. There are no
recriminations, accusations, blaming, shaming, unpleasant
memories (thank You Lord), or need to explain or apologize. This
is what Heaven the fullest stage of lifted life - is like.
I'm told that we will have long deep talks with people we only
met casually on earth, and will have the joy of discovering that
every person is a loved child of God.
I'm told that we will not be able to talk to or influence anyone
on earth directly, but we can ask Jesus to send His Spirit or angels
to those on earth and intercede for them in such a way that they
may be helped or converted.
I'm told that we will appreciate like never before, the life and
death of Jesus Christ. In heaven, all the millions of saints will
celebrate his birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension, and the
gift of His Spirit. And that we will see every word that Jesus spoke
on earth as engraved in gold.
I'm learning that we will meet and speak with all the saints of
the Bible: Able, Enoch, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph. We will
meet the prophets. We will see Moses, David, Solomon, Saul,
Samuel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and all the other men and
women of the Old Testament. We will listen to the beloved saints
of the New Testament also; Mary and all the women who were
with the Lord. The apostles and disciples will be there. Peter,
John, James, Matthew, Luke, Mark, Stephen, Paul! We will ask
them about what they wrote and speak with them about all those
things we did not understand in our reading.
I think I just saw Martin Luther. There are many saints
gathered and listening to him. Theres Calvin and the Wesleys,
Jacob Boehm, John Henry Newman, John Knox, Kierkegaard,
Bonheoffer, Erasmus, Columbus, Copernicus, C.S. Lewis and his
wife Joy, Martin Luther King, Muggeridge. I just cant name them
all. And I cant wait to spend time with them.
So many well-known Catholic saints are here: Theresa the
little flower, mother Theresa, John Paul II, my most cherished
Francis Assisi, Anthony, John of the Cross, Ignatius; so many,
beyond counting.
Im told of Gods deep care and provision for the cherished
unborn who were aborted in life, and all the babies and children
who prematurely died in limited life. There is a special heavenly
mansion for all these children where their parents can comfort
them and love them, sing to them, and tell them about Jesus.
We will join chorus after chorus after chorus of choirs
singing all the beloved hymns we sang on earth. We will see our
pets that we loved so much, and all the animals of the earth, and
understand how God has cared for them both on earth and in
death. We will appreciate as never before the beauty of the earth
that was ours to enjoy; the mountains, canyons, meadows, lakes
and rivers, valleys, oceans, deserts, fields, the stars and planets of
the universe.
You may wonder about our bodies. Our bodies become dust,
but spiritual bodies replace them, which will reflect the age we
were when we crossed over, but all the illnesses, maladies,
discomforts, and medical conditions will be gone.
I go back!
Vera must have been a very mature Christian when she was
in limited time. There is a sweet, gentle, loving warmth about her.
No, she doesn't have a halo; no one does, but there is a kind of
spiritual glow about her. I think she really reflects the glory of
Christ.
She tells us that she is Catholic. After she raised her three
children and her husband Vincent died, she became active in
mission work with poor street children of Mexico. She and a
group of church members went to Mexico twice a year for six
weeks . There they lived at a Catholic mission house run by nuns
and priests near Monterrey Mexico. They began and ended each
day with morning and evening prayer, and during the day they
went out searching for orphaned, abandoned, homeless children
of which there were many bringing them food, clothing and
education. They taught them about Jesus and how to pray. She
did this for seven years, until her health made it too difficult.
Colin and I and the silent one listened intently to the stories
she tells of the children she befriended and how she helped
improve their lives. Some of those children still write to her. She
says she understands that she will be able to continue her work
go over and try to have some conversation with him. See if I can
get him/her to talk!
But before I have a chance to say anything, the silent one is
coming over to me. The morgue is suddenly filled with blazing
light. A many stereo sound of magnificent music invades the
atmosphere. The walls, floor and ceiling are swept away. Im
standing or floating, suspended in midair. The Silent One, It,
keeps approaching!
Wait....no.....stop,
can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand
when He appears? He is like a refiners fire and like fullers soap.
He will sit as a smelter and purifier of silver, and He will purify
the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, so that they
may present to the Lord offerings in righteousness.
I think of Pauls words: For no one can lay any foundation
other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone
builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood,
hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the
Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire
will test the quality of each persons work.
Do
When
Christ your life appears, then you too, with him will
appear in glory. He will transform our lowly bodies so that they
will be like his glorious body. Now we are children of God, and
what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that
when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as
he is.
"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first
heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no
more sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down
from God out of heaven. I heard a great voice out of heaven
saying, Behold, the house of God is with men, and he will dwell
with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be
with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears
from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow,
nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former
things are passed away."
Then an alarming buzzing sound! He disappears; everything
disappears suddenly. They all disappear! How deeply I miss them;
my wife, my brother, my son, and my grandson! So hard to
awaken each day without them!
Im resisting the harsh reality thats taking over as my eyes
open. I see the bedside lamp and clock, the book and book
marker, my glasses. Im waking! I tap the alarm clock! The
buzzing stops. Its time! Time to get Lizzy! Im Awake!
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