A Letter to Tipper Gore from Someone Who's Been Through It

By Susanne Katz

Dear Tipper,

I am a U.S. citizen, a taxpayer and a woman who was divorced in mid-life.  Yes, I’ve
been on the divorce learning curve and even co-authored a guidebook for other women
going through it.  I’ve been reading about the end of your marriage and wanted you to
know you are not alone.  Articles about long-term marriages ending in divorce are
flooding the newspapers and internet sites. 

There is a lot of hypothesizing about the causes and analyzing the good, the bad and the
ugly events associated with high-profile divorces of late.

Since I am a veteran of a divorce war I am suggesting some tips to help you get through it
quickly and quietly. 

(1)  It’s a good idea to be acquainted with the rules of the game.

Think about divorce as a game of chess.  You are the queen.  He is the
king.  You each have your knights, bishops, rooks and pawns.  Each of you
wants to strategically move to a new place in life.  You’ll jump over each other
and lose some friends in the process.  A strategic plan and seasoned coaches
will help you get to the other side. 

             (2)  Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

People will ask what went wrong with your marriage.  It’s not about what
went wrong…it’s about getting through it so you can start a better life.  Don’t give
these folks the gory details!  Save all that for your attorney.

            (3)  Split It AlI

It doesn’t matter who bought the lottery ticket.  Just split it all.  No greed. 
No manipulation.  This is no joke!  That marital balance sheet is the real ticket to
your future and a good accountant knows truth from fiction.

             (4)  Keep ‘Em Guessing

 Don’t say it was the best sex you or Al ever had.  How about if you both
just keep everyone guessing?  Only your psychiatrist needs to know how you
really feel.

             (5)  Surviving Means Thriving

Your girlfriends will help you keep your perspective and pick out the best
new look for your new life, so pick girlfriends with good taste and a strong sense
of survival.  You need them now!

With these tips in your arsenal, I wish you well in your divorce war.  You’ll have a better
life when you get to the other side. 

With my very best wishes,

Susanne Katz

Susanne Katz is the author of “A Woman’s Guide to Managing a Mid-Life Divorce,” the

host of the radio program, What Women Want and a columnist for Atlanta Jewish
News.  She is also a regular ShareWIK.com contributor.