Right.

I've decided - it's no more Mr Nice Guy from now on ~~~

-

The Ab~(liu te 'G-:a me P08ox3<1I3 Southern D 0

Il:dli n hu fgjl! Il:H91NE

'IfR1III\gCfs and Celtic are against it, it must have somethieg go.ing fo·! ir has been a. kmg cherished maN ~!n for those stri'l'in;gro keep mind 8lirli spirit i[l!bct \lI'i~ils~ trt:adingll1'nugh the labyrinth of illsaliliry thai is Scottish Foollball. So in the light ,of assertions by W3ilter :Smith and

Transt:el' U!lted: Archie Ma.cGl"egor Fergus Magoo that ScotlanQ has 11(1 need for a. national stadium and Ihat the llfu:ltley earmarked

On cJiJe T:ri'buna.l: Jim Arrow, Lachie for the biggest eyesore in Glasgow outwith the [Jaily Record/Sunday M~i] building at

Fitness, NigeJ Gronl, [an Kelman, Duncan Anderson Quay would be better spem elsewhere are we 10 leap wnlJh aiacl'jty to lihc defence of

Mackay, A.JastlJir Mc-SpoITa!I1, Gary Oliver, dear old HII_mpde:n Pmk?

Kelv in Park, Ally RosS, Gordon Sm ith, Ro!>S If the TAG survey is anytliing to go by support for oomplct~ reflJrbishment ,oflbe once grand

Templeman, Edmund Teal, John Weir, old stadium is ha.r<lly unequivecal, A significant number of respondents Singled out Hampden

Call"to~HiS: Gio Alzapiedi, Paul Bums, as a factor Lri the waning of their intefesa. in the national team, lts d iffleult '0:0 conceive h~:i'wevm

Gonion Reid of even the most hardened sce'p1ics IlIutlOuri:ng any genuine hopes iliat II. new purpose bu ilt

C(!mp'ute;r L~nks Qualitype, Jonalh;ul Gallf}' national stadlam mighl stilllK: built on a greenfield sire outwith Glasgow, Whatever the merits of that particular option, the rubicon was crossed once the Sf A committed itself to reotmg

Spccill~ Tim n ks: All our usualunpaid over lite NOr1h terracing and' Celtic End' and installing the ubiquitous tip IIp seating,

helpersend sellers, p.anicu~arly to Iai 11

" By puUing • Hampden qucstion' back on the agend.a 11'1 thc end of Jasl season its dear

Jenkins for his assistance m analysing the nevertheless tliat those !hat inhabit tile inner sanctums ofUJrox and Parkhcad believe it is far

survey results.

from axiomatic that the c<ll1jlillg Oillt oftne rest oftheupgradling work on the decrepit South

Subscriptions: £6.00 for 6 issues, Europe Stand must now sure,!y follow, "Beuer to invest 1M money on yowh palidel>' cmd rile grass

[inc Eire) £8 .00. Overseas £ 12.00.. I ~'o()ls offhe grufUl" has DOCIl the g~st. oflhe argument emanating :ffi~otn both camps, ]f it were

Cheques, postal orders ell: stumldi be made demoJiISlrably tile case that Messrs 1'.1unay and McCann t'ooklhe greilrler good of SC.(Iuish

out to The Absolete Game.

foo'll)811 to be their gui,d:ing principle one might be able to respect su.ch sennmems as heartfelt.

Copyright: Nocopying or reprinting i But since the pairofth.em seem. unable to let a. week go by without whil'lJ&ing cOllliinmlUsly

withol.! t prior consent from r.AO. about' suoojdismg' othe. dubs its hard to' regard the:JiTJ. as !mything ather tM!J] iIiI1 exercise ~n

Discill'ill1er': Coruributors' opinions are sound-bite altruism.

,offered withollt coercion from ihe Ed itOJ The steneh of opportunism is in Ihe air - would tillS delightful new found ecumenical alliance

believe it Or not. still ha .... e had the audncity to propound such views illhc national team were on a. high

l'h is Issu e or 'rag.: is dedicated to the following a run of grealr~l\llts'7 Public perceptions of~Jhe need ffoHLnatiomll stadlam are

memory of ex -eentributor and F orfar undoubtedly volatile, and in direct correlation tothe performances and results of the team,

Athletic fan, Gavin Kermack, who died in Warlch lhe enthusiasm fOr going alollg to see ScotLand be tnmsformed if they qllllLlify far Euro

May, 96. But it also goes without saying that Ha.mpden is still the em IIy realistic nelDlral venue tor

TAG 45: Out in O~tob~lI". A~I comrlbunons OJip finals, -

vr.:"1iIi:e:':llcl'l"0'l'lrn;<:ei.i'ia;;t'n""d.;:;g;..rn~l~efi_'li_1I.;.y_re<:_e_iYC_.d_, , The whole debate oou'id very shortly be render,etl ,aeadJc:mk when the Natjona] Heritage

~"'.CK IS'SG'ES: '1 Memo:rial Pund committee concludes jlS deliberations 011 .. vhedler to award 11 huge dollop of

lAGs 1-21, 26 sold 001, 1'Mis 22-25 76p ei,cil lottery money to the proposals fOF a super deluxe Bampden incorporating, amongst other

includiQg pomge. TAG 21 £1.14 .. TAG.!l28-32, £1.10 thi.o""', a hellconter pad (ca.= .. to understand why· nhotds 8J lot of ,~n"'eaJl for jim F~,:",), The

'fAa 33 &. ~J :£1.26 ~p~i.ill Olfer-!mY t1.Yr. ba.t'Ii: ..... e- r- -~ -.-~' -"J

~ne!1lhr U In.::! :p.&.I·."ii~ te'I a ~gpy err AG 27 (Sib 'ffi:tcliinat'ions of politics being what they aee, lhe chaliCes of the bid $llcceedLR:g look good -

Anruvmiary edition) fret; after the j1J.!>Iifiab~e outcry over tile Churcld Papers and Nati Olllai. Opera Housethere is !lOW a

TAG 23; 5<)P1!m:li~ f~11, Jimmy Jobnstone. St growing "need" for a:rl award to a lI:igh profih.: 'people'S project' ~o dispellhc growing public

lOOJlSIIllJ1~ SeC()lld f,},l1lkl,101! Stati, Cynthia 1l~1I:ml!I1 f ' . I

TAG 24: Liarn Ilr;8d~ &. C'foltk. nrlklTl.V Salldert!lOll, perception 0 elitism. Cynical? U would eertam iy in political terms represent ~ rernerkable

H",,!wCurp, DU!TIoIl'eol: 1J~it.'::d 'Netly back down tlle field fromthe days of 1979, when apprueehcs tothe then new Truy

TAO 2~: tl~nll~, St:h~(h" Bob Crom~f, Summet' glOvemmenl il:l:r cash to seve HilInpde.fi were met wirh.·!he slamming of doors,

Sports. Cd1i~r.cply. Even iflottel')' cash isn't forthcoming the SPA are insislelltlliut Ihe basic rcnovarioa of

TAlG 27: Filtll Anni~'e",UY Issue

TAG 2B; Paul Elliotl mtervsew, QL!leell afdle South, HOIimpden to a 50,000 C3Jl'3.City stadium will go ahead. This would bring in the muchadvertised

SI)!!Flh .. )!'se.~"lr. '!ilu:: l~T>J~hllj~ Doom d~be:IlIIru.TC scheme fur some sharp scnnitly. The details are extremely sk:elchy - hut ~e

TAG 29: S~pcr leagIlB Dem:iJ!l, AU)' ~at;I~~ J'l~,t)i)eoiI'!! sl!Iggestion that ~ubscr.ibers mig;tn get a priority aliQCaltCm of Cup Finalliclce~s (even if they do

CI:mmp:ion&Rips, Juniarfoo1l!aJI not support eilher ofthe teams invQlved) is dlsllIibing, sOlliliding as it does like a llcence t.o lout

TAG 30; ikm;ls, Sliper League, Hampden MlcEOOl'ie~, MerCifully. the SF A ar-e attempting 10 canvas opinion fr-om the Nat fed of S~I.I"""orters Cfuhs and

l'ly"tlel: 'u~J!e:d!. ~bi!ll m London t'F

TAG 3h: M.:;8dow1J,a~kTbI3!lIo!, [)Linr(!rn.l~, S~tl~h Ihosc r~gistering f'Or informenon 0111 the Debenture so' perhaps t.!ley can be brought mood to

JUDio:r CluiJ. Jock W3maot 'fuei! senses,

Cf 11.0 3~; fll'lkirk, l:'lilrground .footbilfr, Argem1imR '78, Oil, WlJ yes, the season altead'~ Lets hope Sco:!Illllld liIlanage 10 quail if)' for Bum • 96 imdlh.aJt the

~~~~l: Bi,gOOy &: SWiari;tilli!!Il!1, Minro Pi~ lOam (l)" clubs make II decent fist of it in Burope (willi . Gascoigne around tbe aehievement of the latter

$!I<1Or;)):I', Ri!1~l on a litera] basis seems perreclly feasible], lets also, hope thar Soot FM don't set out to

TAG ~,: mb~, EI8iil CI11 ComlJo!1'feny, S~lId accomplish the impossiD~e -re make their cove,rage. ofSC01t~sh. Foethall even worse th.an Radio

Na1iOI'lBI1'~3ID,. Luoc&i'I)', f~ay~rou~d I'OCiII .. u (i.) CI d '

TAO 35; :S~.1i1lt AIOOoll, Sb.~onds, Gougtl book :rcview. yes,

f'mfat" A" ;)11: 1'reP: ill;m Ao;oro f~!lu[JC:, G!!liL

F~rydbllll, Cowdcl'lbcadl. Rac~~m

TAG }7; ElM.! Pi:te, O~t or T!i1lX revi:cw. Hcart:s .• G~c~ W_bl~ "~ .I;!mpl.ik:~

'f JIG 3&: Clyde. SWoed~~. [Ju;;[I;,~. Ant.LJr M!)I,!rord lAG 39: WorM Cup '94. llmior CliP l'iool, Afbroam. w~D[oc:MI:=r

TAG 40: Albion RO'I'IlI':!, Aoofde,e~. CSI;b~a., (:"1', Wkt;Acll~my

T i\G 41' MQ~troo;l:', Soun~~, t.lc·u Dny .D.::rtJl!c!;;, Old f.ml

TAG 42: Carrtooa, LeOgIll! RCOOIls.tnJeUQI}, Gr4leO!! Y Soo1J;md, AlaR Ball

1'. .... Ci ~3. fiar .. weilio M"'il~(;I""t>lI~k, K.i·lmilIil101'iI:, Flaodli tim. Inoor Tota C~ .

Ju.nb<.' ~~, 5'0 Upper MoIIl, SI. JD.Qn C~mro

1l0lllDON':

SpDrt5pagfii, Ca.mhriai!<' c.t'C~

(,bel"!:;)] 1P!kp:l1dCilI SUPPOIRU Associ3!ion Smll, !'I1;ti,uf.w.J flo-i~

Mil N1CFfHSTE.R:

1'1(:~~i n~ Re-m, ~. 7 Brovrn Stteoc[ S,p'''I.~a~1'. Il-;II1'J~ So;~!llt'. S't AnD'~ Square M('JII'H[iRWI«.I.:

rmplJl~e R~cQllds, BraOOml Arcade' 1'oI(J',IrJ'1 f'O'f;HI\M:

·~I",,~.,ti""'" 21 M~rr.~!::;t

Om ].rt.::.e I!~, Kings;gat~ CeI1lre [J'lJMFR1F.:S:

llitIn5.toml !keams, CI'lUfd! C~"t

IEUDofSUIl!GH;

A\\lilallche. W~ Nldlwlso:nl Street A~~IaDCb~n .. L3dy ~Oi!l $I~I Vlrilyi Villa1~~, !lim Row

g~ll:millioolll N~WS~gcDt:s. D'ligtl S1rcf.t RS Meruit, 81 J .. ,.,..., C~

S!!OO~ NC;W~agIli"s, Melvill~ ToeIJ~~'= J~~ Thin. 51-59 Soom IlridsB

Ardl' .... l!JY i'romotiD.~ (Sp:u:os lloc&~bcp),SO Lad,,,;, IlUirdiDg&, ml~'IPl1O'i! PI;',t:I:

WI1lJ:~OJle5 I!aJ;t &. WL:'!t End l5i'30r.::I;o", P"'n~~ S"~i!1

("AUHRK:

WOOiDgW~1l

GI.A.S.aow:

Ila:mctt' i, By.f(:.~ RQlid

FQ<bPi_IoJ!:~ I'lilllel, IlIldh.ilIliID Street ['.wl'. Ne"·$iAAnl. 5.1"°1 Ccm'IR

Q!XICI1's Pruk'Supp:m:o!(f s M.ochi~(m Sho'Tl

H.UI.L: .

SydDq' SmtKIi'fll!leh, Ufl4;::n~ City HoJL KILM .... RNOCK:

lLE~rret"s Cltlb Sbo:p

PIl.ItTH:

(iul<lr""i, Ik""," XI.up 8~s Stal:ioo Ne ..... s AgeD~ St Johnsl;;)f1~ Gluht Shop

TAVPORT,

M<lCIliCll1iie's, 6Ii C~&tl~ SI. R",,'s, 2 Mill L';I[I~

ALSO i\VAU .... RUi; I1'J1QM;

SCOIliID 'Zioe SCCIllt. 71 Doc:llb l3um f'tltlo:, Linlh.hsow YOu loi~.y ~I.w rtrnl TAG o~ sale ou!~idc:.lI1e rall!>w:i~& 1l,I'(OU1LJ!;,

PittOOlie, El!I= Road. Ty~~a~lle. Slarb ,,~.t. I:ia!iI

prill~t:'~1 ~1Ifi~~dilll:mrgh

8'HJCl{I$ni:

AB!ERDEI!:N':

_ O~ UIf' R~, DiOIl!LORd Sl

HELFAS~ ,

Good Vihtlll1joo~, Vi~.ar:ia SII(lCI RRAIU'ORI)

.I W.allnoogb, CilY (""'iii [)UDLJN:

Fun,lt!tI .. , i'lr"ie~, [);j .... ~OD SIJeI:I

ThB Carll'dry Shap., N"(>T1i, "~rict St"l:~ DUN[lIli!:

Oi'()lI¢lil)'~ M~~Ig"lt DUNFERMLINE:

-- -

, THE DAVIES leup

The end. o.f last season witnessedlhe by now llsual bou t ofha:nd-wrin:ging over a player nlis.s~ng Un~ .Cup FinJd

due to suspension. This: year· .'Iohn Davies ~f Airdrie. .

Hang The D.J.

On l.elevisloll. thlll~ eveniTlg, expert opinion ~ we! I, Derek Johnstone, anyway ~ c~iricise.rl the official for absolv illg McNamara. But the ·emphElSIs shifte.rl nnee tile media recognised! Iht: mmific<¥tiolls: during the week: !hat followed, Davies' ubiqul eous ttangdO'g expression accompanied quotes that, depending upon the newspaper one read, ranged from "~I don't blame Jackie" til l'ml_ndln!l. his opponent N a disgrace ., ~ you can evidently add sdhiz'!.1phn::nia 10 the psychoses that aillicl the Airnrie squad, Moreover, numerous ou~ed journal isis and ex-professionals sl'rnpatilised in prillt with his comment that "If I'd caught him I ---------------~ ...... "'I could accept it" - a tenet completely without

fhundal'i{)lI. D.av~C;!l' fai~.me to, ccnnect was

Some guys, reputedly, have all the luck. But their number tenth not to include players from A irdrieonians.

Jimmy Sandison mid Kenny B lack were depri \'00 of a Scottish CIllP final appearance three years ago. suspended for. .. well, for being themselves, [eally; And The Diamollds faced Celtic for the trophy last Milly minus one of their few ,creators, J OM Oavies, banned foUowing his ordering-off against Dmlifermtlne AU:tLelic several weeks earlier,

The consequence oHlI.e player's expulsion was unfortunate ~ in deed, spectating at. SIlC!} all abysrn8~mat'c}1 was one hell of'a penance for him- 'but hardly unique, .DS Billy McKinlay and, more amusingly, Peter Grant will testify. Sections of the press, however inex.pHcably adopted Davies as the .Prh'a.te, Lee Clegg of S(.'Oltisll football and demilllded b is exoneration.

"rhe chorus urged Hae SFA to review Davies' plilnishm,eflt using the tum already broadcast Md scrutinised on BBC Srutl~nd. The rcspoIlS!: from Chief Executive Jim Fru'Ij' was predictable: "We don " allow video e'l'iue'iCf- f()!' lhe prosecution emd we won't [Dr the d0jeOCf/;, " he stonewalled,

Yet whal d ld the pictures show'? Duntecnhne's full-back, Jackie McN<unara, deliberately struck Davie. s with a flailing elbow; the Airdrie mall. made a retaliatory swing that clearly :m isscd by several inches. The scuttle obviously demanded even-handed aetion hom the referee. But while Davies walked, McNamara lay ciutching his head; his theatrical instilll)t" ulldoubtedly saved him from a similar nile.

Alh never sl.gned a contract. wUh the

'Sh.r,e.

The Ferguson

I mean. rucks sake, it's: aw in the game inti,t, a wee fly kick here, a wee bun on the napper there, T mean it's aw PMt 0' I1te game, they're aw at it, it's a man·'s, gIUIl.C, :no' UDal ye'Il eonv ince me it wiz a ncidbu!t, deliberate like, I "lean he never drew his hcid bad ... it was JUS! a wee accid!el1l:al clash 0' heids, that basl8ru McStay made a riglU bloooy meal o' it. well he wnd. bein' Wim 0' the ch lef Tim's nephews, an' the Pol is an' tho Prosecutor Physical gets lnvolvedan'

he ends up geltin' a wee strerch to tile 1]31' L, Christ ffi ... lhis ower II woe tluml on the heidi, okay so tile big man's nutted ii few folk. in his time right enough. but he's jist a hig raw, Slupit young boay, l me.Ul he's no' vlolcm, well no re.aHy, well o,kay he is ".~o1ent, but we 'YC aw smacked 11 few booys when we were young, it's aw pari 0' growin' up in fact I docked 3. punter jist Ihe uther 11 i ght for no' 'payin' I'IL~ fare, yi". goat lac keep some disJCJplj ne )'e "'now \~·nh I mean, all i wllit abcot ~hat Junior Cup Hnal. Christ if it's mindless violence yur after, whit aboot that, how come they wurnae ta' en up tae Court, mjnd you he's a useless big Dugger. I mean

<1 l'ililliol1 wiz a bit steep for it raw big booy, im' he'll need lac get a grip on his sel', l mean )'e· cannae go abcet stidbn:il: the heid

:i rrelevant: the taws are based on inlellt, nol consequence.

The ban. 011. John Davies prompted calls mr cautiens and ord.erln~of:f incurred during league flxtures noe 10 disqualify players rfoOm .CI!lP matches. TllcH:/ would ce:rlainly be undenlable logic in adopting separate . disciplinary codes, perhaps ,a two.l:)ookill,g rule si:m.ilar to Euiro;pcan and J:ntem!!!ti,ol'l..al tnurnaments, for eaCh oflhc knockouts, But if libepurpose of change is to mi.n~ mise the risk. of d iSEIppoirumellt to pbyers,iit' s a fact that suspcnsioas from fiMls are already far more frequerrt .in, say, the European and

W orlJ Cups ~ ask A].e.'I.'\3Ildro Costecusta ~ than domestic competitions. [ndeoed, by conversely allowi~g offenders to expiail:e their cup misdemeanours through missing onen mellJlingless league fixtures I'd suggest the preS>ent system is lQ;a.ded in favour of both players and clubs..

Moggabsue

I mllJicaUy, on a day when Davies' predlcamem occupied comidernble. column inches, CeUic's Tony Mowbray talked his \~·ay to a caution agaiffit Pact.i.d!. TJ1ist!e that ,a100 ruled him out OF the Scottish Cup final. Celtic's mooager. f.Olnmy Bums.,wiIB I,ypi.cally uncharitable towards the referee, but at least his player maintained a propel' sense of perspective in l:Iis cumments to (he press: :ill. such a traumatic year for him, missing a Clip firuu couJd hardly eeglsrer as a pcrsornlll;raged;y.

Mowbrsy's more reSlraCi ned and dignified acceptance of an unlucky brerut was an object lesson tofuc whimpering 10hn Davies.

- A Taxi Driver'

ol1l1olk,ll.e'lI need me grow up a bit, I had !hilt Yosser Hughes in the back of the cab wance,

THE TOWN1EBlJ§TER§

Reading Black .Dianwn,ds and the Blue BmzU :o:liay bll.veginn you a Oavou.r (IIf U: - but the rivalry betwce:n

Cuwd,e:nbeu.th and Druule.tlniine On the i'u!lI<tbanfiield ruDS.. • than' . I ,. ,,; •

for ] 10 years, Cowdenbed'l.and ][)l:lIIfem:llinc Alhlehc hrrve: vied for soccer Siltprerna.cy in W est fit:~. Memories 11m short andw hear people talk OQwoo.ays, you liNmlidlitiink !hat Dunfermlille had always been ~DP dogs. Thereal ity is muclJ

different and Cowd£;n were ve:ry much in the ascendancy untilliI:Le, .tate 1950s. indeed. even today Cowdm' s record over tile years .in these derby clashes is v.astly superior, Blue IE!razi h.3I1S refer to Durue:r:m1il'le and their film as "The 'fow.nies' (intl:lT,tsting~y, '[he Pill'S' iii ~ckna_m,e: doued baekto 19] 3md seems from a court case il1lv·al ving Cawdcnbealh whenllie Iud ~crol!.s notion that the Dllnfemliin~ dub was lIn II par W~Ih, Cowd~llbealh was clismis500by Ute Co\\'1:CeribeatII mWl~e,), The r Q<wllies has it roots back hi the I~ C>e!W,l.ry when Cowd!eJ'Ibeath was jusl; II small 'Vi lIage ine boom years of the mining industry. Despite ha,ving a population ,of arOllll1ldi ] fjfil of Dun1renm1irie, tlrlC'l-Sluc Brazil stij II .,ctain Ute capacity to ]Jut the mockers OIl Ihe, Townies' a:slP~rohorns at the ~pp:roplrii3J~ rIt(mlern:. Just ~(lok at the W examples recalled belowwhen the Blue Brazil revelled in 'the~~ mle of<low:niebu~ef5>. 18:85 - Fife charrnpioo5 Cowdenbea~h, travelled to £::ISt E.nd Park 10 play I1ewdub Dw:t[erm ~ine A til letie fm thcflrst time, Cowdc.n ... 'on 3-0 in " ,cantera:nd for weeks after, ']"o,wlJJie whingers wro,te· t~) me local press actusi:ng O:Iwrlt:nbcalJiJ of beil\g a side made' l~p of "batleringral'lls and slea:m. eng.Lllcs""

19419< - POSH\'<!U' Oil nfermHl1Ie fans bd~evetl thll& the lime. had ceme [or <tile !Pars' to at ~easl es ... hl ish their asceadancy, A Ne-eroay vis h. tQ CLmliraI Park foHn£! Dunfermline m the lOp of • B' ]) lvlslon lookl:[Ig down. at Cowdl:iI anchmed il'ltl'ie bonom spot. The Cowden pllllye.ffi. had, however, enJoyed. a ~ood hogl1ll!3llay. Dey danetd a. ~reei to lJtIepre·matcn music played over the tannny when (hey 'came onto ~be pitch and then danced rings around (heir oiPliJonents. 90, minutes later and. DlIDfermhne lmd <I 4-0 bngQveno eontend w:i:lh, Soo~y, t!his defe~l.t ~a.~ e:noogh to deny the Tm ... aies peometian

19'10 ~ The first Dj"..~stol'l ~ d~iby between the :2 teamsin donkey's j'e,m •. The geriatric PMS deJe!'loe was rim [IIgJ_g.et! by Cowden's liliidget willgme!'l Bmy Laingand D,w], Ross as Cowden WOn 2-1. Thi~ game .heralded Ihe end. ofDuT.lfamline's golden ageDu.1tfe.rm line mana;gc:r George f'W'fll's ja.di::e~: was 011 a shaky ~eg. (Fa!I1'I'J.is fondlY remembered at Celiltral Park feran illcide.li1l when he W'tIS Raith manager. 'Cowdc:n were 1.05il1£ ~·O to Rl'Iith wh~ the t1ood~ighl:S

rai ledand lb.!: match was, alxu1dOllecl. The replay brought a 1-0 win fm Cowden and f\eflde·red OeQ.rge apoph:x:lic_ Such was the dr~~t ortli~s i_1'j,~ident ClI71 Faen that be later quill. foolil)aJl to boeOOl'llle :l .~ighthmJl5'!.: keeper), 1971 • Cowdelll return to Pn::filib ~ffi for the 2nd ieg oftJe. Fife CUI? final ha:villE won the iirSl.leg ~ 4)' d~<ulks tQ a Billy So-stock go.lI. tln~il!:cly winger DOIVe Cairns put COwrlOTI 2--'0 ah~d, Andy KinneU. missed ~. :peoally andSiny Mullen waS sellll,-Qff 'For G BI~~ 0111

~e entire TO\!"l1Iie de.f'elloe.. ,Cowdenwoo IlIte Cup Jor the first ti rne s~nc.e19j5 and! m.e Townies \/I'l:re IiJroken men afiier our 4~1 Will of the season ovc:r them,

I.n! - The Pats rerum 00 Ulei rirndillol'J.al habHat in the 2liul Divisien, They confidently expect to eruise 10 Utt: cflt!lmp]omillip. 0111 a. gl nrinus ~1l1my day, (hey are bU!lIi.ihated by the' Mal footbaJI' {fir the- 'B~UL:l Braz:il' _ John Dickson erashed home !! 2g-yard~1' and B my BoSiock made it 2to put Cowdefl on e~.y street

1I'0wn iewhingers <I(]CUSOO Cowd@nlb~atlil of bei rig .... bakring, fil~S ,and] steam ellilglinesfl ••

1976 ~ A minllte logo at Eas!: El1Id .Park on a. dreicll da-y. Cowde-f'l arehHing ]~. Billy SilIllpson 3.d;'I'MLCeS ,o",e.r the hE'llfway line: with the hllll1111 l:iis feet "Cmss it', liNe rOOf but 00 general d!smay Btl.ly w~:rtds ulP for a :ilflot The U\W;c! behind the gti)al brace Ihemscl\'e5 to receive tlie ball, but for OIlee, wonder OfWUIIdc:JS, Biny>~ aim is true,

The ball flies i:lYio the pootagc stamp comer kI provo~ mass, oeteJbratiQl1S wtilkh culminate wiUlCQwd~:n OOSS frank Oonnor nrt::[ngtiiJ' thell)l.ichl~ne ililj IIIbiIMw.n, sl ip;pirng !lind :s:~iding :m:l!lIrnrll lO yaros in tile mud in his l1Ia~ new trench coat.

1977 ~ Tne Pars, soW I in whh a ch~e of promC!l:ioIl, 'o'icfiit Cenllr8ll Park .foor a midweek game_ T.he match is p~.3]'cd in 11 !1Wirling ,ga~e. Geordie HIlRler g3Jh~!fS a ball 0111. the left~il1lgOU'\d hi~lllhe ba:lI~nto~.e mid\:l~£ • what ~s eupnem i!>l:iclIlly known as a crcss-cum-shat The 'b<l.U meandef'S on its m-crry WIiIY before deciding to dip ink! !he: far comer ofaht ][)uJ:lfCIm~ine net. Sildly. this defeat was el1lotl.!lh to d~![Iy~'1u~ Townies p:~OI1l1.l]tUOIl.

1978 ~ The TowllIies ,fI'gllin oome a-ca~~illg to the metlGa. ,I]f Hfe.s!hire- fo[uba! L I)lIInJerJil'll:l'n~ nwe the leadi and tliiCIII Ahm Dyce js redf.cMded afier a. marvcllouo~ly coF~de tnck.~e on MuUe!l Qf[lllrufe.rn1l.~il'li:l~

Wilih 2 minates to go tIh~ Ihll:ufem1! inc fans are f1;llding l!Ip their travel rugs and! head~ ng home to watch' the' Dukes of ~]azzacd' when ].[1[1 Hatley Oil.Sb~ tIP (be left w~ng to S!!m~=:m 'cq!ll:!llisi:f home from the l'Iar~owesl of angles,

191315 - Cewden were l-dowrn when K!:n]J)' Ward! decided to tum anlihe stvle to leave Leish__man's Lions floul1lderillg~ Hernasted the DU!IlJfemJ.lJnc fall-backs and mil.de MI equalises for Paul Haekett, Hethen ~lIoduc:ecl a mazy dribble through. the cnfire Ih.rnfermline defencebetore firing nomeihe winner, Sadly .• thi~ defeat was ~onougl'l to denylhe Townies promation.,

1993 ~ Cowden journey to East End f'art: wid:! Dunfermline on the v'c:rrge of plIomo!ion. and Cowden "noted al:lhe bottem of the 1 ~t Ihvisi01'l after 33 League games without II

W un. Tbe inevrtilblelran-SpiIes as cl ass teU s aJIId 'Cowd.~I11 wi:n 2-0 th:mks to 2: gQill~ by e"!~Tovmie Winie Callagiru!lIIL Oh w.hal bliss to be a Blue BtIl2.ilia!t ofl~hat day_ A le,gc:ndiary win. mon-slOp sin,gjngand winding IIIp of Nea~JC: Couper, :r'OUI1d.ed: offby Townies bay ing fell: the head of I1I:tc

mW'h'L.,ger., board i!!!ld anyone else they eould (hil'lk~f. SadJ), ,~h uS defeal .. vas enough to dell}, Ule Townies pm-motion (a year later, and a goal by ex-Blue Brnz~liWi Nicky Henderson for Falkirk sad~y WitS enough .~ dei!,y (he Townies pmmQtim:L This year, we cWi't d!l.im any credh for the T"Msbolill:ing it onee again). However, wneneve:rlhc Townies Look like geMing!'llmve themselves: a_g-ai]J, remember -

]ftlu:rc'$ s(lrnc:lhi'llg ",[range in YOUI' ru::ighhourI:LCHld.

WIil.Q )'01,) 1!,(l11I1l a cal ~ •. TowIJJieDUSlers!' ]fIDer~'s wmcth~ng weird and! it don"! look _g'Goo,

mo, you go;[l!niil -caU ~ T,ow!liebus~rs! We ail'l" ,m,aid of noI owni;es.

PS I fmgotto mc::ntio:n our l] ~ I win in ] 89 t Lackie film!55

____ A!I1d now for Oill Wmld Service readers, a quick recap of some of (he mom rldicu leus guings on since Our last issue,

t. J\ctay BJlC screens hll milch hyped lOl'Llrn on Scottish fOOithaH. SadJy yet aSlIill the preceediags are ovetshadowed by pe~ty ~!!IlIhbles and bigotry cmanatmg frem repre~en"'live~ of om game's greatest lr,lidi~iom!ll'iv:lls.. 1-:hmeS1Jy. why ill God's name did thc producers in"'.LIl: Jim McLean and! B.~H Md\'1urdo OIl 1:0 the pro_graJ:lirnc in the fi rsl pIO!.o~?

::1. ,,'>1ay Cynics who prediict.cd !hat IIl1.:: mo~t lik.ely omcome of the Cel,~i.c.Airdric Cup Fjnal would be that (hie underdogs would go all out 10 score lin early gool ilnd then spelilfl me rest ofthe match dOlling ~hci:r opponents down wilfiout allY regard for the appamfl,g spectacle they were serv ing UiJ are sad~y proved to be entifdy vi ndieatcd , ....

.3,_ Jun« ln the ai'krm~1h of Graerne Sonness's iastant sc;l1ltch-YOUT~t:y'~"!JlIIl :E7:50~Om) w iadfall in the libel court, it is rumoured lha,t football crazed ki.dJd les up and do-wn tht: country have changed their age old prnc1I1mBhoIlS of wish~ng to 00 "a star stll'iker/rn~dr.elcler/gOlllkDciP'!::r" to "I want to be IJ1 e plaintiff in a defamation action",

4, ./.rmt! Budding thespian Jimmy Nicholl gi\lt:5 an uller1y convi1lcing perf'o.mallCe as a hitherto suceessfu t foollMll managcr who is, apparenlly devastated ITt the newsthat he will notbe g,i V(;1l IlLe OppOi"u .. !n_ttyro work LInder Robert Chase 81 Norwich Cily, Next month: lirllmy wins 8J BAFfA 111I'o'wd for his portraY:!1 oJ ~. middle aged Ul~lefm:m who is dri ven to destra i r at being tumedi down for a cOlIc.hing post wi tb Lochgeny Albert.

5_ .fUff!! h is announeed that Berw [ok Rangers have sigl'le<i a Vet ~ Kevin WallDll - frcm Edinburgh University, OUI" worst suspicions ~OOIlL certain mem bets of the Shieifieklclllb's pl.aymg staff are hereby continned " ...

6. June Jean Mwc Besman begLns his historic eh ~ Ile[lg.e tothe foottialllr,lITL'l:f'l1!r system ill the European Court, file odds arc on him to emerge victorious. The b~d news for Brigl:uon and Have .Albion fans however i~ that case will not affeet players still under ,ofitraci and U1US there LS Ilflth i n~ to stop Liam Urady blQwing the dub's last rro:.rvminirlg fLvr::r on Stuart Slater ....

7. ,hm£. .'Il.'{JiJtJ!lld on $lmd(ry iUlll(!lIflCeill, th<Ji!:

R~(liO Oyde are wi(holllL 11 dClll ~!I broudl:l'ISl any Si;oUi-lih LClIgm: mllllch.cs ~nlh~ coming season.. TI:i~ s~,lIlem.8tc whkh_!lS any ~istt:ncr Ie the Gla .. goy,-.ba:scd ~tm i.on wiH be aware, has OIlpparei'illy ex~ed since Ll firSt wem 0.1'1 air (I,'tT 20 yetiiS ago thcn::rorc look:;. set to

COllt~IlJIlC _

8_ July Shotts Bon /!.oco!'d take the (:entml league to court in a CiS wll Lc:tJ~h:realens ~o erose dewn an Junior foolhaU ~I1 G~asgoW' and we5t:.CeiI~11I1 Seetland. They are reported 10 be backed un their actlon by the Aocid!~nt @t'ld Emergency Departmenta of all leading hoopita1sthrolllgtm.ut I!hc region,

9_ Juiy Seven's fOGlbal! us 10 be ~Il~wdu~d i!1 G1O!!Sgow. A feature ohhe game is 'the: lack: (If II. c.ompC'litivc c:1.C:I1Il~nt and the absence of ..... .iIllS_ The i:niti1ll~n.v~ follows successful uJa]s in Cumin:estown, lUllcarty and H!.l,lford.

] O. "My Mare Degry~, a Celtle transfer tn:rget; signs instead for Shefneld Wednesd«'t' f1flie. it emerged !h~tlhe Parkhead ~]l.IIb had. been unwm.i.ng to ~;ay for the OOS~ ofa telephone can 00' Brussels ro open-up n.e,gotialionil.

"Make sure YOll Im.vd. with 1m. o:ffidailly recognised lOUII" operator -Ih~ only 'Way to guara.t1iree your tickets and. seM at tlile game". S{!lI!lld advioee for sure, 1"egul,ar1y broW;!caSl to Scottish supporters contemplabng hip.s abroad to follow their sides (ok, admittooly it only happens once {)(rlVi' ice a seaoon}. h seemed somewhat houow however to those memberS ofl1n: TiI:I1..8n. fumy w.ho decitlcdl to go toili.e F!t!lme ls.l!lliuilll in June w,i:mm£ SFA -endorsed ScQ/wll trn".el. Yes Il'le fh,gliltwtnt without hitcll and !host on beard were grast.efu I, to have avoided ilie daunting

j ou rneyaercss the N(lrtJj Atlamk by bo~t which some {lUheir cornpetrtors 1:'Ul.d undertaken, Ullforhl1l8lelyl:hej' iUT.L ved iU. the Toftir S'ladi.um to flnd !hath g:arn~ had already ~I!.IV timeYlfJttry for 20 mimI.r!!S - just ill enough time in ]act to see Scotland's f~rsl: goal. No<w ok, Ule Faeroe~ are I1iOl a p;:IfIlit:Ldarly freqoent or POP1J1<1:r deslination for lihis OOU!I1fry' 5 travel compillllies_ But 00111 e on. Do the WOT.dI~ '1" i ss-up' and' 'brewery' :wring W Ill.il'ld?

Hard {m the heels of one hi.gh ly popular TAG serie-s comesanoiher - Banki.e Wulr:h! Cleseebservers ma.yh:we noticed thfl! over the y,e3rs several pieces lIMUt Albion "Rovers, Sl.enlll{l1l~enlllir .. lid even die Shire have appeared j "these IXIges out !le\l'~f.

ever, an article on CJycleb~k f.e. f~if enough, we l.hougl:lI, thek fans arc far too'

d lscem lng to make a oontribution to til i s scruffy, jumped up, .little. fanzhie. Concern grew ll(1wever in the wake of a complele~J' umO]lr,e£enuu iye straw poll of 1 AG pC[IDnS !lml (lontllibul.ms which revea!ed dlil~ nome of Ihem so much as had .. passing acq!.lai rllance Vl'iU1 anyone c.aHil'lgliitemseives a Ki~bo\'\.'je: n:g,1..Iiru-,

AU (It" wh iell b~gs the quelltiQ:I'IJ - is~l1ere stH,;iil a Ihing fI:S a~C~}'debai1lk" sl,Ipponer? Ace there r~O"ple out IhelrC who ~ct g~nuill,!tly animated ~b()ilt l'I1e dccrls of Cmig

Flann.igan. or Scert Murdoch'? Ori s it .~il"l~ply die case 1Mt no one wandS to 0\10'[1 up to foJ lowin.g a team that has thewords 'Wet, Wet, W<I':1' em blilZoltedi across its ~h,ins? OVC! th~ com ung 11I1QflthS we i!1vit.e you lAG readers to submit your reports Oil any s~ghtings you may .imve made of Soo~tis!h footbull's moot elusive species, Please ~,upply dates, lim'ell, loca!~i ons, no~s 01'1 allY unusual oohav:iomal pat1:enliSSUch. <IS IINlf'e.ssions of love fOf Andre""! Waddell, ere, i!a'rlkie WQliCh - don 't miss it

l~'hal aac Radio Sc·(I~I!i1!IId's "Off T""he Bat,., ~s '~);I be "~ned d:owllt'in the conning; seasoe. [f th:is means some serious ooverag~ a·:f issues ;li:fecHng SUppOim:rs as ofJPo!led pitifu~ attempts m berng subversive (C~1Iiilg Roogel"s ~1he Huns" - how

fr\ghtfu ny r]5qu:~) 5tiJ rauch Ihcbeltc:r. 01:1

1lh11: olihernand. it mig!n j[l.~ be a pre~)!~ f{)~' featur.ing even more ~nane p.hon~caJ.ls (Iunl before .,,'

Di~ppoointi.ngly slow response from youse readers to Ollr e a 1 ~ {'Or CO!1llrib"l,Il]O-J1S 0111 the slIbj eel of g~eat footbal1t:n' p!Jb\li and clubs - ie none whatsoever, .[n.~is, climate uf apathy all WE: can do is hI~,p thelihil'l!l Itmpil1..,g along far one rneee Issue and pray !ih.a.t Ute Lord h.ath mere}' upon you fOf you, iiJkIlCS&. No.2 howcver is - (fanfare) IGary Ma.~jk:lily·s Cel[l~,e Spot - a part of the

playi ngtieldi 'Gary and hi splaying cQUea:gues have beC(Ulle' increasingly fllmiIJaf willl in recent yeom: as Hearts have slarnped fmm being the "j,nl bi~~:st U,::arm. in Scotland" to the Jril big&t::st Ie am. ill a bit (Ii! Ed.Lnburgh. Clydebank al'ldl Stramaer aU thrown toge1l'ler. Symbolically, the 'C~11i1re Spot' was <ct~1:d s.eyeml yem ago, dLmlolishcd a:nd~s nov.' iIJJI Edinbur&h Chambc::rof Cmnmeroc Carr PBrk, ~HIlIlrn. if only r dI gOI my w<IY \\'.llh l"ynec:a'5Jtle·' mHlters the rotund man s'I.lmn[ng hifilselfin the sou.th of Fnm~t::.

Frw.l rJJ~ l);ail~.MiTror, JWU! {(. 1'995

A u'L-e.{JIii.rlii, .i1J.~;!I},t .inll' lh~ r!rr.ti!fkl pnM.·~~._ri!5 f!llhe al!!'rnfi~ /{jo.koid su1n!di!l'lIr (.!II" WOOlF

5

In one part o:fthe oountryi the Kelly dy:na!!l,ty li.v'Cs on - Beecbwood Park; Dund!ee, .home or Loc.bee Harp

[ am tmdcr strict inSlirllctions to u.pdate readers on Ihe progress of Lochee Harp as !he editor is heart sick of reeelving complaints about II media b~8CkoU't oolloElirning those sweet flowering blossoms Oihhe JU[lLO:r game, A sl.I$pk:..i.mls number of leaers ro~Dmark.cd Dundee signed by ~Ilple called KeUy have been received. l IJ truth it irs over a yeOlIl' since the Harp were featured ill these C01UlllnS, admittedly a scandalous absence for <I duh of their stature,

A [rue story, Sitlirtg ill Glasgow's opulent Three J udgcs, I. 110 liced a t1gLlre at the bar with a crumpled copy ufTAG sticking out of his back pocket "Minute~ I <Iter he arrived at my side ill the gents, [nfc(;ltX:i by six pintS of Sp itfirc l recklessly case aside !lnonymily and admitted wtding an article that was 8ttl'ie moment slipping wward~ 11 cascading tmre'l1l of urine (approprillitely enough). He turned Slowly toward s me, willhout interruptiIlg his now so to speak, and spoke. "Nollnm crap on the HQrp is It?" I nodded helpl'essly. somehow sensing eutegrapbs were not required. He zipped his fly. spat into the: trough, and growled "I .hate the b(l[;latd Harp .' before setting off in Ihe direction of the man selling batteries in the. ccmer (of the b~, 1101 the toilet).

At the risk of jeopardising my flUMe drinking habits. I bring YOlllfurther .reports front d,,e front line in the same spirit of

j otlmfl~istic tradition that sent Kate Adlc to Bosn ill. and Grahem Speers to Arbrcath (colder bu I, j USI as dallgerolls OTi a S~tLlrday night), TAG 38 featured Harp's epic cup win at P,eten;!1.illlast season, Aller this extraordinary and wholly unlikely triumph the team entered [I jour month 10llg alcoholic haze witli.OJ.!l willnDllg a game.

TIDe low pili nt C!IlI1C when bottom of the table Arhro:uh V letona visited the rmcc fcrtress-like Beechwood Park and won 2-0, their first v~cwry of the season. Before this match former player John C lcnigan seized control of a tl1:lirnng session, whilst mana-gel" Jim Kellv wasin hospital recovering from a knee o"pifOltion. A hard milil'i in II land of hard men, Clenig!lJl's tactics resulted if! three bookings and a sending off (you are right, a startling irnpto'!,'em.ent.in the dub's disciplinary record),

John Clenigan found fame for felling a referee from 20 ya"rds. by removing a boot and striking him on the back of the head

Ba:rkingMlI.d Goalkeeper Kenny Mcl..eoo, lhe hero of Pe,te·rsh ill, Park, tried ill ~!Ioulder barge and ~rUllred himself in Ill(: process, refuS'in:g to (.vm'e out fmlhe second t.wln~ Call1lllY McRae, signed iIi 1987 from Tayside Fir'!':

Brigade, went Ln goal and UIl1 mediatdy dribbled a gool kick to the fed of an opposing fOl"!l',url who, diLily scored The

consecutive wins ruld 00 increase ill the gate of qver 1(1)% (from 9 to J9). Though relegation was staved off, the KeJlys staged a vic·ious counter-coup. Terry, who had a history of heart problems, fa.i led a drug test and was evicted l:rom tile dug our for the last time.

Dmflt!!'lJic march (1C/i(m.l~(Jturirl'g Lochee Hl11'p and 'liN f.! red cC1,·d ill.~igllrwif(J Ray~' tfre rnnuoro rr.tI4'F lies?

Harp entourage, though one Kelly short of a full set. pouredl \' itrlol at the playerS. Brian Archibald rook exception and stormed off to the dressing rooms, ollly for treasurer Kelly to hurl hhn back Oil. Steve Higgins was l>l.lbslifutoo and walked st~ight om ohhe ground. (~peills for return of the shirl al'pa~efltly -faU:LlIg Oii deaf eers), The crowd g~ve vent to their feclill,gs and a plot to cverthrowthe Kelly dynasty was hatched, Nominations fOf a new manager were sought from the home support. but none of the nine people present would admit to. being Harp fans, such is the Ceaceascu-like gdp of'the Kellys tllat dissent is almost unknown. All eyes turned (0 Terry the Dog, (see TAG 31 for derails orhis 1<ISt playing appearance], who was at that point ,~ockifig his leg against the Vies gorurpost As thus was the ,only p~ece of'actlon seen at that end, his :lIomLn.atkm was secured,

Three candldares stood, Manager Kelly who had overseen a 3 S year reign Orf t~ophy-lt:ss terror, best known for stationing members of hh> fami Iy at all parts of the ground ~(l ensurethat referees have FlO hiding place. John ClenigaD famed for fellillg II referee from 20 yards by removing a boot and slriking l1im 011 the back. of the head, and for having !he second nnghes-t number of red cards in Tayside Junioe fuo~b.tU I b [stOory (by an amazing coincidence the recordholder is a current Harp player, Mike Kelly (no relatUon). And then there was Terry, who had never missed II match since he was a pup, His classic rurs:uit ora raobit down the full length ofthe pitch during a grune again Brechin Vies is long remembered. Itended with the raabit escaping thwugl! the. net whilst Terry was Ilopdessly entangle'" on the other side. 1-I<lII'p's scurrilous fanzim:iprogramme insert "TIne Be-eehe Kiss" broke the result to a shocked Dundee publ i c. KeHy 5, Cle!'l i gan Q, Terry 24, Spoilt Ballot r

Manager Kell), 's lack or contldence in tile outcemc was refle(~eu in the fact that all the l'rograrmnes publishi~g the result were round in me boot of hi s car at hillHime. Terry's ;ql'poiIltmcrrt heralded II run oftluee

6

We iIDi! F.1mUy

Sadly the close seascn saw Terry's demise. [II the immonal words of Chick YOLlIl,g. "God bless you Terry, we won '( see (he likes of youse again ", This cast a shadow over the whole of the 1994!S season, which soon tusnbled ifilto [rreverslble decline, The writing was 011 lJIe wall wllell veteran cenlr( forward Eric 'Rico' Mandelsoll annouaced

II is retirement ill the summer. This was usual 11' seen as a p.atnC'hc anernpt to avoid pre-season Ilraina:ng but appeared to be Scri01~$1h is time. However he '~he:n defectedto local rivals Dundee Violet. This. was not a move viewed generously by the notorious Kcl Irs. 'one or whom sqUaJre ge-ed w uth Rico at half'tlrne on his return to Beechwood.

The desperate struggle against rel'Il!lJtio'n lOOk. its toll on cl Lib offleials, A ita'! hattie with Arbr,aalh Sponlng Club swimy degenerated, Whilst one of his team males was receivi ng treatment tile A rbroath keeper S!t)rinled half way up tile p'itc~l and threw a stone at the g.roup of K..~lIys, whOo had been abusing h un~ all game. It struck Jack K!8Jiy who picked ul up andthrew it btlck, til i s time i tl full view of Ihe referee who promptly

sent him to (he dress! DIg rooms. Deranged Harp centre half Ste .. C T ligginscxac100 brutal revenge on. the kl:eper by knocking him 01,11 cold wilh a. head bun before

receiv i ng the j nevitable red cam. A week later Harp phl'si(l Alben KC!~y mil cato the pitch Lnll::nt on Qttacking an opposing p lay,er and had to be forcibly restrained. Needless to say, relegation foUowel:!.

These: events were as l"Il'unm i'ndisc.retious compared willh !he, events at Dairy Thistle v. Whitbum in the. Junior Cup. Signs or impending chaos were e.videllil. when. Un: home side's Stewart M!;Yuchlen was booked

for "persistent fouling" ]nsid~; 1.0 minutes :md sent off withilll. 20 mlr.lluoos !IIt'rer "llQintirlig at ~he referee", a FOml5J' Dal ry goalkeeper and j ounul.~~S!t Cameron Melville. [111 the ~(lOIll:l halfrhc cards came (IUrt, in an explosion of colour frum h is lOp pocket, Nex~ to ;go was: John McKay for a had foul, foUQwerlby a. third for dissent- Whtillbum established a 2-'0 leadas tile oppOSition rusa[}peared before their very eyes_ The D~liY s.kipper b¢c.une number 4 00 go., foUowcd by n~wly arrived substitute Gary Ma[onefor bargi.ng their ref As Thistle's remaiflillg 6 plilj'el'S Ill,lllg about sheepishly (well it was ill Ayrshire) a number (If mlssiles W',~t:: thrown fromthe crowd. Mr MeJville led the one and a half teams off'the lie~d aud abandoned tile ga_rne..

The action had! niIJ~nllis.hcd ye~ as Ihc Whi~uro ph~io' \vail rendered uncoeseious by an olYj;~t ~hro\&'1'L iiil5idethe dressjng . rooms, The Whitburn busts were stoned on the~r wa.y home,!iJ:Lc reslJIlt was .allO'Oo;'oolo stand arid DaJ ty was kicked oUl~ of'thc Cup j],e:l(~ season,

Staying in .Aj'Tshire, Hurlford Uilited managed to go throlJ,gll the ellHre season without so much as ,~. draw, los! lag every compctjtivc .match_ On the dlliY Ihe:tr former player T ol1llmy Steel scored the goals fur SleilhousellJU;lir that knocked Ahe:rdeen out oftne Cup, 'Ford were 100sung 0-15 at Heidl, They !lire in serious danger of being tlile subject of a futureartlele in T AG_

rt has been ill sessen wtliclit bas seen more mooia wveragc fer the juniors th,WI ever

before, Origin!!lly moHyated by the prospect of more blow!);' duels sever,,1 papers s~tt reeenersio da,e Talbot 'It. Cumnock Cup ue Whllen altracltld II 2,500 crowd blJl~ alas for them ended pe:roe.fuHY _ b~~er.~y though. Scmland 0.1'1 Sunday managed to produce credible match reperes for Junio:r Cup Quarter Finals, and The He.r:aJd has s~ilrted plllh~ishing results and even (theho~,j' gr:ri.l} flxtures for all except the Nomh R.eguoll. where secretary Jack Whitehe~£l wards off polite enqu iries in n.O uncertain terms"

Wdfi!iR 8,ewefits

The most enjoyable match l attended was the Lochoee Welfare v, Kelto RoversClUp replay, Loehore is set deep in tine heart of ~hr:: fonner Fife coalflelds and Ihe ~eam play OIl a scvc::re~y undulating surface, Stand at one corner flag and look tile length ofllhe pork and you een only see tile lop of ~he otl'le.r 011t: til! lellS[ they have HiIIgs, not Co-Op bags OJI sticks I~kt': Larkhall'a very own Ro,yai. Albert]. Keno, fu:lm Kirkconoel in Dumfriesshire have ~n e-;o;,d!able buaeh Oil Hms, lihe undoubted celebrity beil1g Geordjc, a middle !!,€:oo man with dyed red hair and a luminous mac shell suit Y Oil couldtell it was i.1,lr11iIllOI,lS because the game- went to '~xtrn hme and penl'llties, endiing innleM darkness, whCII Goord:ie was ilhe o:n~y person visible 011 or off the Pafllk. Never .~Wi,. be raced Olround the terrndng takirl_g f5bets thfli! RGve:rs would open lil:te ~oormg. The

Lociilme .tims '!UClIIOO !lIP to collect their l,\'irmings ,snortily afterwards.

Kel ~o fmJglltback from :2 down ~o kV«l.~ a!nQ tried to move their goalk.eeper outfield and bring 11 sub on, Thereferee refused to let thOOl do th~~ because tile sub was ~egi$ter,ed as a goalkeeper' rep] acemenl:, and would 11.0t iJ"erefore berep~;3cin.g a goa~~e_ As p!a~ raged from end to end and local kids threw steaes and bottles at each other W1~1 increased gusto, horne irlitmager cammy Praser (yes tne srune one) ef]'ortles5ly outdid the i'iIoIfle support for hmHllg abuse from the touchliae. The mainrll!rget of criHcism, llile Welfare keeper', turned into 11111 instatlit hero by saJ'Vi'llg twopenillties in lihe sffilool..oout and winning Ute g1mle fm Iliis side,

Aloo worthy of recall was a. fierce' local deroy between CO'llpfllrr Angus and BIaurgowde ill the TlIyside JuniorlL C01;!lpar had two sent off be.:f:ore the pies were hot, ~11e. secollId of whonl received a furlhe;t red 'cam for returning to debMe the decision, ARer reaching the touchhne once more, he had! one 1a,~1i: charge ~.owards the back of an unstL"pectin:g referee. Oinlylhe ffite1've!Uion of aleam mate saved ,ahflHric~ of dismissals for the samepl.ll;Yc'I. For good. measme Ih~ horne side wrn~ down to eight men afteranother se:n(ji.ng ,off near the end. Fillal1y COn.gr8lildilil:~Oil1LS to Camelon and Whitbulrn for mak~l\g it the first <lll-E~t fUlla~ for 29 Y'eaJ'S @d j};t\oducing the sort off open. send1n:g-off [tee gamelhe Juniors bad~J' needed,

Reviews

The Day of the Hillsh'O.ro.ugh /)isas.te:r A Nal'raJi~ ACCOll1d

Co.mpiled & Edil€d by Rogan Taylor, AndreW' Ward and Tim Newburn £8.95 - l.werpoolU nilve:rsity Press:

A hrurawiIlg read The Ih:r~e eompik:rs have ~ornillrehentiive.~y sought By tilis, ~'tage the crush wasat its helghlt; a mass (ln~U~lMtnit:y thar

OUlllltlJd detajled the most telling and Hrerate acOOUIlJt s of those wasn 't ~waying Ilr moving as anomer viewer put d.

involved 1n one oflhe bl<i'Ct:e~st days ill British fo(!!~ball Told 1lI10re OlJltside the grollll1dl,I[;adiltonalla~eoom= tell. of me u~er confusion

or less chmnologicaHY,theparticipantsfllng,e [rom pl~ers, ,o1ftcJa:!s at the ru:rnstules 11." we~! as Slome ~riO!l$ cN:tl1!irw., Rob Whi,te., a

and. th~ rescue services ~0 th.e sIJPpmt~r:;in the dCll.d~y pens ~ cages Live~p(!!ol fan, 11Q~smhe contrast wiU] this, ilnd~1:te previous seasen's

would. be a raore apt dc;smnpt~ol1. families of'thcvietims iIWId a ,,"cry troruhle--free semi. at ti'i~ same venue, His lJJarratnve would:, .1 think,

few memiJ.ers o.f the South Y orkshire Police Force wH11I the mumach Sltrike a d1Gni with most TAG readers (notm:my of \-,,!hom are

~immcmh~lMll(!~JIaf.Wl1VHw~~~s ~~~~-~~~~~~~----...' 1{CC!ltlV\': hOi:( .. ho,~clers ] wmlld ima.grne).

and tile Taylor Repoi1 ifl~e'rsper:'le, the !eXt. As this account shows, it

From this simple fl;l{l'lnat annes a real ~v 'h a- s to' be thee e n d of

matter.of~f.act,ye:t chi ~Hng. pk,tl1ll1ll of'the . - " - J '. - '.' - . '.' 1_. . . __ ' I

d:ay, AU the storles destroy the myUl the road for archalc arenas

recounted by~h.e laMoids that iLe, ~.use (!If --

tho d~:"hz; W!hli down ~I) jnd uviduab fairiy prali'tku ~ arly when co m bi ne d

tow gO""'1t 00 the evo,~l;Idoll!liry' scaile. lower W_._ i_·t·h. I1Ile.· 'g ... ·.II·~ .. " .e,n· .t,. nff' .··I·,c.ili~,I~IA .. Im:. '.

t111M1~he haeksruhelll!l'e1ves indeed_ L<lter 01 v Cit 1II yo

{In. eyen GIOIJJ-~am SOune5S'S fav,omile tag (tlotthe P,eople) WillS forced to apologist: ~ al1x:jt ~I1 SJ:uulill pnIlI. ~ ilJJ fhe fa©!::. of oYcrw.he~mimg cy~denre of ill0omp~oom.cc,. a.lai of which i~ de~:3Ji~iI1:d by whn.eS:<Ie.1l .in the Leppi ng~ Lane '~ndoiSure_ l~e'ror Hicks wno ~{jSI, botll his dalighler:; il'l ~he crush. WIIS s~llndling in tine Qf~he .adjaemthlllf-tiUod p>t1l5., His cl)'of"iflllo;d my effing Sljj't 011 yor~ ',d la_fee: notJce of me" to an lInClonce:rned oonsllIb'le Silms u:p the: pOI9.{l~ iIIt.U~.ulc of any (oatban. cmwd as an unwiel1dj' mOib. bl(er ,on, Hick~ .isro.ld to "Shui)'lID!' fodd~g p~r#e ,. by a ~!l~or Qft1ce,r,

GroharrJi KeUy , fA Secretary, 'Was aliso present Mld records hav~I1g some IIbu!1oL': tnmw!IlJ his wily .. LIJc.ki~y for him a!!lcl.for Hillsoorough directors, British raw tends to prote>ctlhose with the ultimate responsibility Eor crowd safely,. Oif],~h!: continent. cluib or.fficials and safety officials fa(j~ pn'l&!:clJlnOJ1 after stadia d:i.$a~,tfIT.~.

Thi~ bOL):I;, certainl}' ~s:tft 3c:o:mlibrt31J~e bed lum.e rr:ad but its imp:r,e;sston. will be left: with. me fm a

long time, DC5pi~e hlly.illgy~sireolln;any o:f SOOHlUltfs cnllnb liu~ ~XCllseS fm foolha~~. gr'Ol;IllI.dis. never have I been in .my ~ if~·lhr'l":Uil:'n lng~itlli1lliQ[ls_ I ,e'Vetlhold a '1utli .. t i"o.ndtless for cx:m'll1I HJ;~a~ (l,r I,kr'l.'lict~ml however pefV\eu5e ttmt. may be, N~"'~iI'theles~" .'!lS thfS J"~'Ollllilt si'ilm\1's, ilt n::!!~~y has 1:0 be the ,Lmd onhe n;~~df~n ;lir~h,~~' an:m\Srari LCUllru~y whem co:mlbill~d with !legl ug.enl oirlkbir;itl'lll ,

THE .HAMPDEN STORY

by RUiSSeU Galbraith {Ma~nsl!ream.) 220 [I~es £14.9'9

[ wondered why this book which WJ:lS pub~ishedl ill 1993 had Ilt:ver b~cill I'cvielveG in 'fAG, [Iihirnk. I kmow ]lOW" It is a good. idea which Ilever rea~ ~i' takes off in [)ractice.

Tihere is a ~e!!glhy b~bl~J\}grophy at ~h!! el1ld of Ihe book. whicb lemd~ to eOlilf~rm~l1t: impn::ssiul[l Ib.!!t the reaG,cr has D0I':I!l oyer' Ulis grolJnd h~fmc, Corning ac.!r'O!:S a. ooUectiori of [il.!hashed madl~e~orts.. the book c.mrlaill8 .Iitt'l:e that.!h~ Ve1~ively) w,en~tead Scottish footbaU fan hils not 'enco~inlcred

prilviou .. ly.. ] ploll!l~l.ed om ifl~he hope of pomil1g a:cross .fI. starning n;vc:lation of lihc ~Jum f.iIn)'IS a. Klingon"yariloty bUlt, alas. in yai[l, IChJllt

The oddest thing about thecurrent

sJm;IJIII •. ~ona.b.ol!Jt [he future oHhe le~gue ~I lLp is the talismatlc reverence reconstruction has for some people. h is, after 1111, on!l' a mechanismnot II p.anllcea., you don't tlul.omlll uClilHy get good food just because a ta.Mt: '1> been set properly.

However, thaL said, and in honour of the spa~~ b.::y' vc saved the tah I oids from jooklng for meaningfUl m<l~etL~1 here:; tFANFA1Wl

2)0 THINGS TO CONSIDER All OUT LEAGUE R.ECONS'lRUCnON

L Do W(! need lilt?

Oh yes, The current set-up was thrown together \I.'j til the usual appeasement of the "needs'tof'thc Top Clubs the onl), considerat I on with the added horror of face-sav Lng. for the propos(;rs or Ihe super league - the preseut tormat bei ng "iii open-encec versioe of same.

The only th i fig }'OlJ co uld ~y for i,1 is that it's 36 g.'une:s i!ud not 44. whoopee. I like the "110 u:lllJl,pering fo:r 5 years" clause which ironlcally \1{i.11 have. to gei n the riame of pl'Og.I\%S.

2. \\1 hat is th ~~ pmgl'\ess of \~h~ ~~ y(ll~ speak.?

We II j t has to be the sixteen ream Premier league on the grounds that it's the only way to reconcile the needs and am bitions of

S cfltlllnd' S 20 sMu:~ih~ng full-time clubs and elNI the 4 fix ture league progrnmme which causes staleness and with the aid of cup draws, ~ik:~ Raith Rovers and Airdrie lest season. calli IOo<k <IS, if h .... o clubs h"Ye

em barked on a "worl d series" on their m .... n, A lso David Mlll'I'll.l' doesn't fanGY it. Is there a higher recommendation? He was cauglu nat footed on 413195, mUlm.bHng to the Dcii!, Re-caro ahout "criterion" and bll1:iumlCSli, plans .. When f~asi~ ]:"awlty was asked a hard q:uestion he pretended to faint; Ml1:r.ray turns into 8 refugee from the "Mone'"), Programme". Aw,cek ~ater, after ~he irmllgtlllli rucetlng of the league of worried chai rmen, he was dead against c.iting COI'tl pass ion for ~ponsor& as hls mQt'ivation.

l saw II smoothie from Bells on Reporting Scotland on (5/4195) cl~imi'lilg he was "pleased wv~J1(he product". There may well be L~teiise corapetklon but when Olte of o.m ~eading clubs meekly hands its scalp W Skouto R:i ga there: is clear~ a dUib ious product. The spon~oJ":<, theretore, should! be fiml,~y to ld ~Jl~. a Mol' money doesn't a~]ow them to hfi~g illi-inlurmed ignorance to ~he table.

MUJray'~ @,n~Tihutlofi to 11t~ {khat~ on Soottish F OO[lNl.ll ~s to pine lTLyo'pi!:aily fu:r a EumJ'i'llan league'. Tht: ~Llprt:mt:: irollY in UIL~ .is that .Rangers arid their fut!Jre Europ,e:an a.d:ventures wo'uld be bC5t scrvoo hy a testing and c-ornj)l:lihve Soonish league.

3. An th ere .a.ny II rgu i!ll ~lits lIg:.':l ii[lst Hi teams?

Otl aye. Th,en:'s the "mc:anLngles:s gam~" scenario like in th,e 0 I,d L~ D i vis.ion( (hal mmib!Jnd cd lflcewhkh spm1,!ned ~

lh~_f([ce ~ftOl" riWrtd~e.J t~ lJwrnmrd m1'ily dJ1'JW.~-

Ai~.r M~·1t~r

European Cup v .. i aner), This is easill'

so 1 '!led by h~c v ~ng 4 ujp., 4 down 01' 3 arid fI play ol"f.

Thera's also the perceived need to entertain the Old firm 4 times a season. This is tairly my~h(llogi~l~ndlc(]luld only be beloved by short-sighted Bank J'IllirlOl!gers. When it was cooked. up in the seventies, tens of th()l.LSill1ds were being shoe-homed into ramshackle grounds. NQ\II/adays thanks to JMlranold polidng and ticketing along with sheer ,~)jperr~e sell (lU~S me quite rare. The sepposed "gentgili~'iHl:ioJI of f'omIOOJJ" appl.ies only to lbeox and I" .. 1I intrigued 1lI kno Iii' how footba.U plans ron U H~$ spatlki:ng new s~llIncls. If~:h:ej' don't do SOme fast l:ltinkillig the Tay~or Rep.on will have bred a hc:r-dl of white elephants.

4. Whftt ahou t Ilii~c be}"(lli d the' Prem ner iLeagllle?

'.ll"h is is the Iorgotten aspect (If re-eonstraetlon; remember the unsatisfscmry, uabalaaeed 3 9 match l st and! 2 nd D b.dsioflS'!

The rir~t should be aJ good compeW.i ve I.eilgue, and not .i ust pro". ide a stylish winner for lhe Kl&Q cur.

For m stan [hi S \'\lOll kl enOOUl,r.ge Chlbs I,{) be 11 Ii tHe mor,~ stoic al)()lJt r~ I egal,ion. It; never !11 i.ce to go doj,O,!u, but y(~!J \1 hav~

I hough!. A he~'(!Jeerl \!r!ere b~ing lrus!lEd for deportation la~t ~ea~OJ1, rmi being pun ished for bad pl.~y. i ]"you approach it ] i ke HeOli1.s ill the Se\'eIHie~ ii ...... ill become addictive. If you don't - !ike Nou.ing.ha:m Forest in 93-'94 - it m ~ke$ lite "r·· word I oo.k I,i ke a neceSS8l1)' ev[], so w~ I.!!dnl .a.lcl'Igue that pn)(lnok~ the la~ler.

Then there' S ~he quesricn of the proposed loan ing (}f )'QtU1g P layers, Til i s C(lU I d bea good thi ng. ]f the league is good i ~ cou ld helpthe devel opmenr of l'0lin,g players and teave the rC91::J"Ves to be Q place where the stifl'~ and convatescenrs get match fit wlilchcd on I)' by the irredeemably fanat.i,cQI. Now [he main baragaiest this worbng wilt be, .~ suspect, the greed ofthe larger clubs and the limits they will set O!1l any loans.

1 ' d also ~ lke 1I S 94 $I.yk mfereeing flo protect young limbs. bUit. equa~jy that will probably be L'Oo muchto ask.

Oh and ideal iy ~his should he .uwCller sixteen team le1l!lllc, plO)yil\g twice. I'm a sucker for syrurnetry,

5. \'1111 at ~ bo!.l~ the ~ertll~r IJrsgion.:;:?

I'd fancy another sixteen clubleague. Now th~s .i s:n' l ~ym merry gone made. this is more f.ff a conference,

Alex rynn'~ article ('fAG 42) called for regional feeder Leagues bolstered by re-serve sides. The problemwith th i s ~s lltl'tl we have aregion<ll ~e~Ulp. We have tht: Sf A

~§Jil iates, the J un i aI'S. [he amateurs, in short a huge h(}Jllogenoys blob "flow quarity fO{ltbll1J and ao hierarchy ..

>6. SIl' h,o\'l' do('sth ~ conference WI) r~ '{

Ac~ually I. don' t know. Basicflily l'1[I suggesting that we set up a \1\'3t£rs,iled J eague to allow movement ~I1I.o Eih.c sen lor rants and e~pedOlHy if some Juniors CQuid be !empt~d: in, gi ve selegatedrcams somewhere LO go. Take theartist fcnnerly ktl(JIWIlIiS Meadowhank '11"1 istie. Ijf~hcy were to Hllli:ih bottom they could join their local jun hI' league lind re-group wh ll st playj ng local derbies.

Obviously playing records and, most impal1mU, common SeJ1Sce (Uh-oh} should be used for tldcmlining meFll bership. The main problem, If we can .Il!uk back to M'~adowbanlk, i s aUr:id~n.g the right sort of" people. A filum whose eoneeu of hirasel f is so greallh.l:u hecan 't hand te a Mr B lobby jibe is probably not (If the correct calibre. Remember we're only just getting ria of Wallace Me,",er.

7, Do.n't you t'h il1Jl lIud tlliis i:s f:O~ 1I10l'e to d 0 w.it~ footbalil'~. de!l:~ iDe t:h:J1i.

reeon stru ~'tio'n?

y es, ~ read umpteen excuses "rid S:Ulggcstions last season and rsost are paradox leal, for e;>;;f1mpk;·

8. "The II IlIye:r.s gi~e-g~'1 a tl'l~etres"

First amHorelir!Os~ so werethe li kes of Pel e. U'~ .~ sOl;tl1Yll't~Hy Scottish outlook 1.0

<l~t~i bu te geniu s ~.o those who.. ... e fitness "IUSt'(j them to chuck it early atld whose

dlrj nik I Ilg career was Ihree limes the ~ength of their p~al'ing one,

9. "We Ii o,n'. p,re d u~!)' t:a I~n t ilill this COlfll[ltTyanym(lrc"

!"his is a Ij~. We 00mpere toOl. very good Slandard right LIP to ~ J2: I. leveL Ralh(:r Hum sen d (;N] iss~lric-~ to study cooch Lng ·i n

Denm ark and lIoHaml we shoti~tl study what olJr ~ads do at theur 2 '1st hirthday parties!

U~!. "Th~ ~~'e m ier lellgu e is fu II of

jlo u rl'ieymelil"

Too tFIJC, but. ~earit"l mind Lh~.t OlmClin

F erg!l~(lH, cl~rren1ly ~iI1jlJyi ngt1flh Beatle statl1~ didrl'l ·~;(:C(;~ here. SUI\g ,heleilds to raise his garnc8Jt will hut M uke Galloway.

the lastword in music hall humour 1.11' here.. has got en \""eU 'while 'Oil loat'! wUih Leicester thus suggesting that we're not living in a black and while world up here.

Similarly .. ", ...

n. "EUlli'l!Ipf4ln FOiJi,tball is leil.vhlg us hebind"

True lf'wc oncc again recall the pliny efforts of Rangers and Aberdeen last August. But on tnt: other hand Mo.thc:rwelJ, with no European pedigree and hal'lljngjl!lsl wid their best player, ran one of lite rlches-t clubs in Em'Ope v·ery elose, so lhitt's still inccnelasive,

Pemaps it's .....

12. "'1'h.e .F'ear Fad·or!·"

,._·teaning of course !he vertigo teams get from being ill !he Premier League, Y et 81 pleasing factor of recent years is the sty lc adopted by sides to gel promot~. lr's ence they are up mer move into their shells. and speak on~y in a series (If trench fighting me-tapnor'S. This getting elose to the crux Df the :l'llalter.

13. How the '·e.lu Jact-or manifests itsellf ] blame mM'lagers. Take Alex MiUe:r (pal-eezel ).

14. Hiba last season have had m geed squad with reasonable d-epth and mo-re, cominilhy than Rallgers wilo only played for 3 months. Yet their title challenge was pathetic, Stl!ldy their away record; they always play coaservatively even when they are losing and a" their senti's wilh Celli; showed they can't raise th.eir game. l blame the manager btlt [ can see why he docs HI ..

IS. "'1'l'Ie TWist!"

For es lo~tg as the on ~y response ~o fans g~!heril1g !ill the. 0;0011' is~OFF WTnl ']IHE COACH" menagers willpiay fur thcirjobs, NI.:".C:-f mind about players' altitudes Of whether they arc being S'oM on or how me club is mn gellerally. ~ham e.fully as long as we, the supporters, a.lllOw ourselves to believe that a ,quick shuffle thai loads to a fonner p]aying f:illvouritc appearing in a club blazer will herald a new dawn, they wilJ get away with it. "They" being lhe turkeys who never vote for Xmas ~drea.dJul ci iclt~ but U1.ere's nl) beth:]" one).

m,6. SjJ' willi fe ot~aill. eler 'be aeeou ntable? Not .~!l the short ~nn. L7o:r its neither in ~he interests oftraditiilOr!!l1 patriciM'ls Of the .IIC:-W ell.trep"r,etu:m(?) l)'pe. They may mmm about t~c:: practiee in football bllHt doesn't stop

them queUing up ~'O climb on oomd. I'd go as far as 10 ~1Ly that what ails football is what anraets Ihe people who ron it,

17. So is I!:rilie WalkeII' Fe.ll.lly the 7tib CavlI~ry?

Goodness rile 110. Farry and Walker have clcarlv dabbled inlh.e Black Arts of T>R but indivfd\ullly !hey lake credit for a:ny meagre g_iOI)' while my blame us still spread across the faceless (and talmlless) committees, The plflrlilrn::d report will IlleaJj~!M any crisis over the .ncxt 3. years win be de-.f'trn:d until theunveiling of E·rnie·'s Ten Commandments,

Tben 8. mOTl'd:! before llS due they' I~ cobble ~tJgelhl:;r a lis.t of proposals that will carry enough consensus but wOlft be revolarlonary an.d We won't get .11 new or better deal. HasiC<lI]y it's maintain illglhe status quo by the back deer, Mark my words.

~8. t.:r

19. Thllt'~;

20. All

124 Years. On ••• The Sf\Ory of' how Stranraer Fe' won their First Championship Trophy by Charles Rigg ,(September 1994) ..

.

n milSt ha .. e ~I::m.edlik.c ~ good ideaat the U111e. Strrutra>ef win tl1.-e ]'993-94 Se~:l1td Di'o'1ision. d1.e.re·8 summer madness ~n the a[r, a book .celebrati.n.g the evem is rushed mit, !he fr'OOt wV'CJ shows 'mhltioel.d maestro' Steve Cooy 5lgning the film :dgfus ... One ye.aroIl ... 4 grune.s wOn out of 36, it gO<Il di:lJtn::[lQl:: ·of mlnus 56, relegatioil l:1ack to the Second Division. 1>tel-Giooo. n. P ill.lIls our .of the !eail part !lnd along comes fuc TAG review.

Fir,;t of ~II, dle titk:. This isn" iI history of the etub, Raltli.ei' il.~ a In ok ~. lhe penoJ J 987-94 (as a fonner hlstory teacher dl.e author dearly knows well how 00 gloss over l11 years in 7 pages wi~l:ol.l&miss:iiihg out.on th.-egloq d~y::;). A better title though nu~h.t ha;,\e bee.J;J,. ~he • Akx {S!!mIYJ McAn~ple Years', f'Or It .1iS. WIIlb. the arrival j)f Sanny es 'malla~'T iin November 1987 that tni,['tsJl;ef,in '~I) ch~g!:', As 100)' Higgi.n;s with hindSight wrhes in his fo~e\\IOI'd, 'When SmlPlY McAnespic arrIved 1 se:nsl!a loor good times were a''Olfl1!j the comer ', [!td!cec! Ihe)' were, or, u1'ItillflSl season, Quite simply. S31IllY dominates the book.. His ~actical awareness is summed up in a ehapter headed 'Reasons fOf" Sll~~'; 'play ji've at the bade, bTf!{ the fuJI-btu::!},' If] plilihforwar-d to help the midfie[c/ and take lite dina rouu {(J·gtJ(l1 by pNI11ing lil,e barr quickly te the from rII.l'Iners· '. alarl.e~ Reep? l-la! S~nny '~. thi: mm. S.arurt}'

tS also the only m.m~ge.r ii! SooUan,t1 ne\'eJ" to SweaJI'. Th~ author ·does reveal. th'~1 Salir~y i ~ ''«JiliNI'! ' .. n.{1 tl1!~t h~ ha-s 'm-dkllfJec! " bill no. there is d1e'\lef !hn)' !iwe~rin~ w~n; SalIn}, is OOJ],ee:m.ed. It as lnJe I1tal jll h.is lirsl ~eil.~~n in ~h!!.fgc Sanny \\"<1S gh1cn II dtree·mon(h ball for 'aUell,edly' 1!1.~ il'lg foul <!tid OI!buse language to an official during a maleh with Rrecliill, bUI

SI!RI1), "':ilrongly re/ules" ever using such 1,lJIgu~gellnd it would be hard to d.isayee w.itl:l that His normal wmd~ of encourngcmem !Qok ~lJe moocrnte fOJiIIl of: 'Get yaune}f jar-ted (JUl', 'Get him teit '.and :Oel worfin .. (page I (4), Call me 3.«; ~Itiw a.~ OJ! S~n.roer central dcFcru:b but. at th~~ I.~te sl:<llge in ... ! 2$ PliLg.e book [ beg-flO t~ hff~ my dl!l1lbts about. Ilhe t'e~lil}' of events. I'dprevi(l(~ly re!!d 1I1'1J~.!t.

The boltle miLY fu:~ beel'lnalf empl)' by this

time but the head W1IS still c.l'eiM'. Did S:l:nm:ii,~er l'I:alny come close 00 knocking Celttc: ollJ![.oftl'l.e Sco:tti~1lI C!lp ~11 J 9'87 ·8:8 ~ ilhat ~e seasoa ill. whrtch 'Cellic woo Ilo..e DmibIc: ami Srn:-.at'I1'lIer, aided by a .S!tylish 1(1'.sing seqll!eliCi:: of l5 league matches ill a row, contrived to ~d up 3811i. out 'of 3 8 in the Scottish League? Did the SliriirLral;r pla)'f:r.i, f;ms and commit~ really cetebrille Ilre \lI'inning of pTom~tioll in 1992·9300 I!be balcony of tire sla:lld 011 nile last d~' of the season ... only te discover late!" tl'lill I:lrech.in had sll(!red an injury IJimcJ!l'CliI!dty and. w0l.IJ1d be going up in~!eruI? (Y es, there is pho~ograp.iIII&c evidence of'thls one).

Towards, the' end of the Hurricane's career, the great man lumbered into Stranraer, not so much h91ping for an Indien Summer, more looking for the II ",dianl Takeaway 6

Jings ~ Hdp Mill Hooh '~mliledli~ly foU~wi'l1g th,~ dl.sclooUN of s:mny's oon-i'l\o,IeaJ'inclllere ·i.~ !l ~t~m~wbi~t bizarre statemel1t to tile ·etT~ct thai die chlb commitilx ·desen."t!s pfcmJj/s • fO'r not sack.ing him. Si;ick S'LnIl)l'? 111~ p:ictur1: becomes . c.1ear·er with tlie !hnWr.lM'uy line ai:w,)Ut th;; comm itl.ee talking ',1'0 actiOlI (W{,i" his sbvplifting in.Jiscrefi(l'tl u4lich come to court !ilwrtlybefore Ch,·rslma.\· J99,r, Intrigued. I had a sea!'clil for .. he case. Slrnng,ely. the ca~ I ,Came at:tQ:!i~ iJ;livolve~. (h~~1 oft-wo ~ hi-fi speakers; ~ pill'itable lele.vlsi(m .~t, ~ hi-fi sys;t~m iU'ld two sp~~, a guilly p]e~ :mdl a fin(: of .£.400 ,~~ KilmlJ..mocl-r. SOO-riffCou.n (til mel N_tber 1992. Eimer Sarua;), ha-d big poclrets or there's some mix=up. (Elo'et g.et Ill!:

fC!(:lin;g tha~.Iib.e:Fe·s ~n more h~flpenjJ:!g I'll <I dub lhan you '''C' ITidhsed?) At this pomt .1 ']I sl:?~' ~e.ssillg a~t alllh~ b~«.lob some dlreet Cf.LtleISiDS up the fronl ~d <!WflIlt the bdt bm:k. The problem with t.hebook. i~fi(l~just !hilt it give:; the appearance ora h~til)' sJjtch~ I.I)gelher patchwork of match programme notes, but worse, it's !he kilJd of iruitant histmy which wm alrnim1. beLievet'S ill a !il.lperleUgtI(:; a plodding record of games wIth dun players w'h.osc obvieus lack of pace, skill 01" abilily L" glossed over with use of wards sucli as . 'lPersooality; and! ·m.~e~~'. There arethe u.~!J!Ll quotable sentences:

(pl)' ',here lmS jifnher cl'idence ,afpr:ogrl!:r.~· when d~~r:i'~h 'was able' to farce a "e;pJay agam~i &JJnbiJrgh City'.

(p41) 'tire moM ,di.~·'apf)Qi1jt;'.1g pe1'fo~mtjmx (oj lhe seasoll) wm .d12 complele,foHllFe. qfPQ1 Kelly 10 fi~ld the m1/ '.

(P7]) 'TradfrionaJly. S'ranr~r teams /ral'e. faltered.ajieF the New fool' .

The !xlok.'s 0\111] C!l1m:plctl.: faiJ~ is ill ~fll~lIillg tel tuel the mylh _Iha. I Ihe history ofa club like Stranraer is to be fOUftd ONLY on die: playing field. There is II brief mention of the club p~.)'irig a ~i'~ w~~ of £35, ~ apjlearance fee 0[£ 1 0 and a wbnlling ilolil!l~ ol .£.'.lS HI season 1993·94, but it [Sotl't taUQ\\!e.;j up. A ~i.fl, bt:~u:se the m= ~,ulfY.~vml o!ljbe dub ~s. wm1.h)' of resp~ct. l.f OJi~y the lIutho.r h~d fullo.\wd Tony I. liggins' breezy ~t)'!(:.

TO,,",'8fds ll1e eoo of the Hl.I!rrLCarI.e's career,. the .great man lumbered iIlto Stranrncr. not so much hoping tor atiltidiim Summer. more lookillg fQf the Lndlian Takeaway.

N oT1chalootly opefling a j)31'agraph in h.is fOI'fWLnd ".<I/,hr;mgh weight finished me ...•. and revealing lhat he knew it wa'i liIn¢; '10 g(l when :l Stail" Pari: reg)llar shouted ·Hey. H~ggl'u. Q1J'(f;I" an.·of play people yot~r O'WfI wf!i~h( . only hie];,l igi'itS !h~ lilck. ofsimi.lilT 5oe1t'..dcpreeatillg humour in I!h.e ~est or lihel;Jo.ok. Ah, S~. wnilJ mighl halVe been ..... SIHI, allY IxJ.ok on line club is ,~. rMty, though at £1.9:5 lili;!] one's going to find proml'l'ti(lIiI

din~c .. I~.

j.ohn Weir

4, The beard sacked Sandy Clarrk., Yet 'the board ",(:R: unable to pay the balance of his contract. This was achieved by legal intervention and payment by instalments.

S. The magnificent failure of the great share issue that never was. Celtic raised £l4m

and Hearts • LSUOK-£3 50K costs, Tile

board blamed the f81lS III1d lack of corporate backing, Bllt who panacd, and aillllrclved

the share issue? - tim board,

6. Why were there no voting 'rights? Could it be th~~ MI Mercer dictated ttl is" W ould en incrc.ase in. vet i ng ~ights have red uced his pcrcemage (25. i %) to 3 figure that would

11nt allow him access to the board? If the board refused, did he threaten to withdraw

his f.lm gaarantce 1I!IId!or refuse to sell?

7. Chris Robinson said to me personally Oil June 7 ~ 994 th~t there was much to come

our ,a.IJ.oUl Mercer's business dealillgs and

tile way lie: ran Hearts. Th is sterement \'1'8$ repeated when M.r ~·~e!'tel" recently indi.cfll,;d a second inl:erest in Hems, He said - "more would come vul about Mercer, but {he rime Wa:l' no: r(ghi ", Why was !I.he time not

right? WliIy have the board w Hhheld

i nformation fmm the :rUrpporl? ]~ it because they caanot fllm;tion without Mercer's £.Im gu!U'antee lhaJt expired on Wedllesday 3 I. May 1.99:5? Docs the boon:! JlOW have even less control?

S" Why arc thebeard sui~]g Mercer now?

Or as Mr Mercer puts it "why nO it' when you k.new (1 yed!' ago?" He does have 8. point. The way L see it, !Ile present board wen: simply out-businessed {air and square.. Ally discrepancies should] have been highlighted then, lind supporr from (he f!hlls and others ~ike myself would! h"",e been greaier, re-su~trllg in a better share issue,

9. Why was Maurice Iohnsto» a.1I1)W\~to leave Hearts? Wa.s it coincidence Falkirk's fonunes improved as Hearts d.~liru::d after

TH,E HEART OF T,HE MAlTER

Hearts fan hI!. Kelman exami.nes what he b elieves to he the root Cit uses of tlre current upbeavels at Hearts

That HI:Ilfls hsve been in a 'state of upheaval and d ecli ne for some time now is something few people, least of a] [their OWII fans,

would deny. II is oilly very recenuy however that the reccgnised ve.hicle [or sUPP'0I1ers representation, the Federation of Supporters Clubs, appear to have attempted to exert some illfluellce Oil the bo.aro. In the PMt H\~ Hearts Federarion accepted being manipulated by Mcrccr with the offer of crumbs, whilst Mercer enjoyed the cake. It is largely .:!trough thi s interpretation Ul<ll [he FHSlC lias h irhertu been regarded simply as oE"gaJi i sers of buses and little e I se and ignored by the vast 'l'l'bajor:ity of supporters. As an ~Ildividlllli. f have over lIle y,c!l.rs fought a one mall battle against the lncompetence and greed of the board

fulty 1Ippreciate howeve .. that as en

iudi\' idual J too a.rn ul1lem~c,ti ve,

ncgldmbly the new board who teok OY'eJ' at Hearts .I ast sum mer, not just" n m.y opinion 'but thnrug!1 peIsonal experience, are

prov idi ng even less effective tllim the FHSC and myself My reaso 11!.s for com bllg te til i S regrettable concfus ion are as follo:ws:·

1. Potential backers having pulled out, Ilh.e boerd signed fl. conuact on their OWIi with Mr Mercer which iendered litem linanciaHy irnpolellt and powerless, unable to mil HMFC as. a viable competitive business, Why?

2. forced 10 ,~CCl:pt Mr Mercer onrlo the board, as he held the £ l rn securlry wllhlhe bank, without whie;h I beueve Ihe hoard could not futlction Independently, A man the board d id not respect, now privy to all Ihe board's dcalilli,g5 through at 23% sharc-holdil1g via Celin Wi~Wll, Mer-cer's \'O~~ and ears on tile boord, and f 1 oo.mXl IQ be paid amtl.liLlly [or seven years.. Who rea] Iy is cOillrollin,g Hearts?

hI (I w4lialjJ atlf1nrt 10 diN'linisJi ~ftlt 11t11~e ql Well/act' Mt'Tc.r-r'I shtJ.r:i!lmldins. we lake the llpptiI1rmily !tJ reprint anomer photugraph (if

Albert KiM

J. AI'I uIlliatisfactmy deal made w:i~, two li:lwyers on the board, orne coavessant in Compimy Law, Why was the decision made tn purchase? Were both audhs not thoroughly f.lII'Ialysed firs.t'!

tz_U,MIIURS' DF mf WA~""Go 1'0' ~I!(ie A C!>Me lACK AT i ""EAFtlllf MIP~ift'l;AN ',i..c.. ..sCI< f,o,l!)t<,j i)J!,T." N

W,t!A'TS.,£V'tg, •.. " ..•

• .. .e.V,e~¥oN'E r.cNoWS \'~E Rf;.TiRE" f~(OM TH,e; I Pvt§"l..ic

.. :fH'AT.s WHY Toto'('''Rli\'eo'iI"J I'L'- E!if C,flL.,l.i'JoI(lI A '""Err C.PN fU<£NC"; 10 Mil! 1('16 I'd Y fi:l~l ; .. ~ c. UA.IIt" ""NY 'it'Eq.'llf1ElTS fOI't U .. Te;~V, IH ... S Wi'1 LUI-- BE e.~AJ:fFoJl..l'( p.i:.CSnED, M'of F,.'I. NU'tw\lIISoE'~

the l:raIlS~b1 I.refe:l' to tbe poss~ble menta! dem:mn:v8tion of 1110 learn as to lJiIerrllHme4' a f~llow team-mare was treated ami pla.ying uader a bO<L!'d that are beret ,of ideas, lack resources, I.a.ck direotioi) and apj)ear to be going nowhere.

10. Why was a tQP player ~ike Mclaren allowed to gu for s.".,>'eeties? [) lI.1lean FGT~S(!J1\"iaa trnnsfcrrod fur £41m.

U, Why are monied businessman nnt

oorn illlg 10 Hearts' lIi{l? Cou hI 11 be tI!Iat no one hall eoafidence irn II. board l:ha:t S.l100I, themsetves.in the fool SO often?

l:t Compare Heartswitn the progress made !lJt S~ Johnstone, KHma:moek, Partick Thistle, Falkirk, Momer'l'o'ell and ]-I lbern U1III in stadia ami pocrfi:!miance,

l beHe: ... e He~ !ea~lle IXIsitio:rl is .. barometer of 1JJ.e: l:ioQTIJl' (;redlbi~ ul.ya,s, business O%lTl3g>1M'S. They brag they pl!ll more money iflto Hea~ than anyone else bll~ what do you call peeple who plough

i tlSl!!ffidenln:u;miB8~nto businesses they have Iittle or noc.(Iptro 1 aver? CoI1-1'itaurn.ly run businessmen or qualified business manll,g~rs, in my opi[lioIl. Y ou coli th,em. fans, just fans,

'Who really is control I i ng Heartst

"hc~e appcaesto be no ,puhlic rela!~ions ar Tynecasll:e.. We have a general man.,.ger who l wish welt- but do we ever hell]" from h~r1 Are her hands bed? Reocfltly [ asked fm simple answers reb'l.i.ng ttl the SUp'POl'iters SUf'>'el' 9:5_

tf.. wm the S.]l:ID: issue (ih(l.:run} include vmiFlil rights?

fl... What measares .h1l.~·c been takento elimi nate Mercer's n [Ill £eC1.lriry?

c. What is ocing done by U:u:: beard to attrael real ~usi nessmen and f~!landali n\'e~!I'I'lem:

10 the board of Heru1S'f

CQFlsideri ng they Were a.ttempti I1g to find out how they COl.] ~d e;dl1l.(lnlrule:J,' frrutiJ. m.e, [ felt~hey were fair questions. My ~ett.er

was refcru:ciI,kllhelb(!lM(ll. I received [b~) answer,

Jl~e truth .. us, neili:terlite p:!lSlllGr the CUTIem ooMd au up to muster _ N euthe.r· iJl my opinion, will ever benefit Uearts. l-leat"l:S current [l1~ilghl emphasims this p(lIi1i~. SlUppo.rtingune [Ic,g.ative dement against another m;~ati'l'c elLmlent. ~s al so CQlInt~j pl'(l~uPti'll\e to the successful futwc ,of H~. ln my v iew it wQliIrd be b~llI;:r f(lr !he Federation of HMFe s.upp.or!.e~s Cluh 1IIIJd SbH3J)~!)lders Associ.ation. ill ,a]iglil Mil forma un i~d bndy with a p~a_nf1ed .strategy !o gel real busiaessmen (lJlilo the board, qualified in business m=t.=ent commensurate to lihe size and type ,nf business Hearts are_ We are the enes w~o al wa..yssutfer" We areme <Illes who are alwaysasked to pay. Why should we 3~W.ay,S have to sit back and be ~e<lctive '(0 ne,ga:tiv.e eVe41i~s? Why enn we not be llrooCtnve and make events happen?

U's time te be pesitive. We s!b;oUiId. aetnowl la:r:l' Kjr,MIiJ:i'

Pll'Iy (;JUs? You ean s,tuff' 'em! ] u~.1 isedlal as II Dunfemtljlil~ fan ] alII 13.)1.urng .my~elf open waocu..'lal~~llS of S01ilr grllipesmd of having Ille old axe to grind. ere Le-t me make it clearthat Aberdeen were well wOl1h tn~i r win and lam sure thatin the eomin,g season dH~.y wiH f1 nish ml!lch nearer the top (lr!lie Premier Le~lje th~ the oottQm, and good luck. to Ihern. D'lJrn.fennl~neklile".,. before the 1>~83tm began ~l1at the "priae" for fi nishi I~S second ill~,~ fnst division W1I& a money-spinning pl,,,-j' off ,aga~nst a P~emi~-iI' Le~l,g!de oUlf~I, Does ~is make it f<!ir'~ I think net .. ,

fur onething, Aberdeen rue i!. Premi,e'f L~a,g.uc team wilil:L a P:remj!~.f League sqt.l~d, I,iilerany ~rilllk[erlwith i:lilocmationlills_

Play i ~g the f~rstleg witnq,llJJt Ei Uy Dodds WilS I10 great hrntdie8:p.Furr Dunfermllne. with II firm learn squad ofl4 OT 1:5 p],::l;ycr:>, !tie Joss nfHamlis:h french and K!mny Ward through injury meant that t~c I ikel ihood or bt:~lIi ng Abt:::fdeen (liver two legs, was, O'n a par with Balddck's chances of lmprcs:si~g 111 ackadder with one of hi ~c1Jlnning plans, The play afts aremeant to be a sop W IJt{lSe wh lnging littleclabs who aspireto play Llil liu:: Pr;!lmicr leagLJc andy,'ho foe.llhat a mn: up-onc down system docs .not guvc lillcrn Inm'lHJIl' a eh:m~-e of sleppifig up.. nul in reality. l'he: IJlay offs rue 8 ~ife .Iine: to, aui' PremL~ Leagllle side who has a. h:td s.t:aron. Few WQllld g1rguof! that Aberdeen, o'r DUI1Jd)ee U!llt>ed or Heants for ~hat UllMter, \VQ~Jld proDll.bly have Dested any oftne r~Ili~ Di",j'sioIl pretenders indud ing eharnpioos Railh, Rovtn.. Maybe in :l. single match, at a n0utrnl venue, the upSl:aJ'1IS \",'ould. h@ve an oUlllille chance but then \!re couldn't lIIaive !hm, o(mLd wr& I me~I1U1e p~ospect ('Ii!'~he "New Fi rm" ~Il theF~rsl D'ivi SIO'I'I is too. l1Qrrific fo~ words, iSIl't i~? Come ~.o 1:11 ~iII~ of it Me u~ne dO""'n would ,have b~~n ok if Partick m Falkirk hiLdl fini~hcd b~Ltom bUI

Oh, .l Stjy, {('j .lkmj! Dell'ieNt Wdl. "",h.rJ1 ~m Nrth CCilJ 're b.~ ,rhm1in~ l.lb.()J!J~', uprn:t.r.~ U=I1fJJlrni.·,m itl/l.ie miMf~ of (1!l c.mc-le trl' ~ Scm~u;'" jn(J/ba1l

fffluimr?' (J!'!e' '!&IS (n la)'. ,etc, etc.

a big club like United? .. -, irs a dis<!iSter'. Perha,ps DIIlIild'ee, Dun:fermUne. St J olms~:Oi1e ami Co win have the decencyto lie downro jovial J i,tyj' s boys and let them back !.lip aE the first lime of a'liking?

Can My of you out tI1e.rt: eXlPlilIirn to, me why ::! up !Iilild 2. di:J1>m is l'llir [orth.e I,o .... ·e:r leagllle.!> bill nm fmllh~ Serii.e A of SOD~tish fitba >? "Too hj'gn '" caJ;uaily rate ". claim o~r ~eamoo 5~Tibe5, htJileacl McNee. C'ilndid

rhle I~keli hood of beat~ng, Aberdeen ()\I',elrhvOI ~Iegs was ()'1lJ1 a paili' with Baldl,ll'ick's dillarnllCes of impllessi ng Blackaddelli w~tl~1 one .of his IC'II.IIDlnin:g plla[lls~

Cameron and! VaJriQI!JS QIDeJ!' purveyoorn of hOfSesl1r~. 2 from I (] = 200k [WynM 4 down. from l 8 ~ 22% and eventhe English have 11cadI4 down fwm 22 -18%_ Al least their play offi (I"~1r' in,V101 ve te<l!Ol s in the same, reague which, illtlluyug,h sti~ I Ullfai:ll·k! the!eam which con~led, litLo~t points, is fairer jhan jhe Sccttlsh 'l'L'ITsion_

An lJ nwaned First?

AmMt.uo1l!s rk~t mV.tsiontL:l;1llls assemble a. ~qlla~ 'of :gl~a,J'ers wh'ichllhe.y hope :is g.ood eno,ugl1l to wLnlihem. prom(l[iM. [f tbey are 5111oceSsfl:ll tbcy wlll iliIcn gl'l' out and. SIlr-englhe.n their squad so thal they can survive in ~he :Prem~er LeOligue.. Teams like DUJlferm~ une and. Dundee cilliln.ot~fford to do bO~l"IllJt once, tlilcrntom::y simply is nut there. :tf.'erlliap!'l, a. so.~utioml wOIl.~d. be 10 allow (he I~'irst DivisiO'.n club ln the next piOb), otT, ~f I[J;CiPC' uS (Inc~lo b(lTi"OWaliewplaye:rs for th~Mogam.CS_ [think we m.igM hllve roU,edllllte [Jons over w.i'lh I!h~ likes of i.audrup t!nd comlill in the team. Unfair'? No more lihan lihe preseotli~ sysl.em l soy and win continlleto .... y IIllilti I such lime as ] nm proved w]'o:ng - le whenthe "wee" team slll]ffs lhe "big" one,

Sadly it wi nl.ake something moe til is W bring aboo~ al6 leamPT"cmicr league \'ioi"ticn moot se:nsible footblilU. fans wan!, blllt it's, difficult to ~ee~e larg.er dubs v'Oling rorr iI sli[!dc[Ul'e whi.ch WoouJd cut their n::vCI1lu:~,

I C<liUlflOt end w1lhout oommeillllil;lgOlt!i1e ·'sheep" w.nof®How Ahe.nieen Fe. At the end. of the second ~egat Eas1 End fmt.,. tlllOllsOIfl.'CIs of!lhe-m felt obHged to .spill.onw ~he pitch, milling around do.i ng si Uy Httle ce'~efbI1!:M'ry jig:>, just what were!lhey ce'tehmtlng'? W~W finis'hing in thei, lowest lei\gue pOsition for 20i'e~rs, that's 2lU, P'~ay off!;? 'if (11.] 't:afi :!>tlll:ff <em,

JimAmt:!1Il'

tltb e lJmpatientc ef g( "a,int

Every 3--4 years 0[' SO~ it h:appr:'Ds. A ',iece of self-indulgence 'that goes way, way beyond the gellilerous norms ~:Uowml by eveathe OiI,OS! ea~y-going :free 8,1 rib (!If the fanzige mQvement. Yes, y~u 've g;uessedit", the ed itor~8 writteilil another artide Og St JohnstoDe

What have we done 10 deservejh is? JI;ISl what have we dion!.':!? These h8yebeen

~lYi ng ~ime." for St J ohnsLDrne supporters, HuntllihipS abound, for ifl~anre, W~ 've had tu live w:ith the terrible reallsatlon that. Gerry McNor:: doc.liJl' t li ke us anymore. ever slooe the day we gar~'e IDiM cheeky med ia-[riend~y cnilipP'le A~ex Totten the bullet. Then there was the ~ltIall, matter of a sen ous gubhillg in the Sco~~5h Cup III lilte hands of'Terry Christie's eviler Warriors. Finally. llJld perhaps hardest of aU to corae to terms with. there WlIs!ht: sense (I.f utter loss as we watched! Brechia rob us of om hHherto unique d~sthlCitiQn ot' being the mlly chJ,b in &!::othmd to be Delegated il'l ~I;IClCeSsi"'ie ~~ns_ln enc fell swoop Our w:m:fy niche ill the gjllJl'IOf(lUS wotldl ofpub quizzes and Trivial PUrSuitt~e-bre .... kers ~k'll~Oyecl, The heartless Angus bilstard~ .. "",

There w,as a sense of utter 'Iloss as w,e watched IRrechimJl rob IJS of our hitherto un lque d~'Stlilndion of being the onl~y dub in Scotland to be relegail'ed in

s u CUe-55 ive seaso n s

Th.1I W.i!!S Den ....

Many have c(meluded UlIIt 'Ihe recent ~ ulany of woes am ieting the Saints is 11 case of j !JS~ desserts served up with II. liberal dash of come-uppance for e:x~ra flavouring. UndollDoo(!),ly th.ere is II si2lCllible n!llmber of folks cut th~ who OCIII' ~ iltlc goodwin .~ the dllh following ili~ distask:ful episode of a few years back which smnned and oll1mgcdl. the Ec;st uf S wtl.~sh. football. [ refer, of cmmle, to the sh!ml.cflll YI1:rMl oosauH by lea lady Aggie MoffailllplllTiaII innooenl. and 1JnsusJ}ec~rng Graeme Sounes~ inlltte visitors' dr=ing J'OOm at McDia.ml ~d f'mk_ l n hinds:iglIt barn:i.shllIUHII. to lst Ili,vision obscurity was only to be e:!!:pBe~Bd f<lf iflhe scales of justice decree that di:sc:ribirngtlle manas II '11ft' is wurth £750.000 ~h£n 3111 unsolicil.t:C1 lecture OIl the eerrect \1i,fay to !lola ,10\ teapo1) SIlrely me:rits relegatiurl by Ilie means guaranteed ~Cl inflict. tie mrutlllllLlm 'MriUf,e: on the accusedL Adl1J1itt~:d,li', the I1IUIUlier of Alex 'fO'ttcl'l.'s w,~j.'g{ling may !iiI so have upset a t'e\y {I,nlookeus, parilicUlar~i tl rned!.ll_ In the 11II~.c J;j;)rin:g t1'f I m, as it 'became' u!'llcreasi.ngly obvitnw thaI. iI. would be ml, ~bo<ird for Stai r Park • mdl.~r than the N ou Camp as we had oonrklently been aIlt i.cipating - Mr Happy himself, Jam e;s Trnynm, VirllS moYt':d ttl'

com ment, ill tomes betraying ghreflll sl;hade~i're"ude, that Sllohnstone's '!Medicament \!o'<l!S <ID instance Qfdi vine l\etribrl,luotl. no less, The !'IIl0rose OOslard suppvrt~ Airdrie ~ what lhe hell would ~1e know 3.boUl~: God?

TJJ~ Gel'ry MLNee lwm:,rl and cltl!irro}'ilm)' tfcWre "'~ ;n;r 'If Marc To1~J!'1J Wd~ RIm rnarwsu {d .McDi(lmlid Fill't the «{;!ow' jluti.'imml 'l<l!()utd ~r'el)" ka~'~ been a 51 iamMilmJ'e pliLyer by nGlw,.'

Si m i.larly the VouC\C.Of-Aat!scless..SC'olSpar.l -SIJ)(!\ns-Ed itor IxIld.ii' asserted onry a. few mUIl:ths i1g0 thm if Alex Totten had s~i IJ been ~ n chl1!r~e Saints would! m::yc:r have been relegated (mil fm good measure they wauld hu""elraShed S~eoflho!,l.s.el!ll;l!;r in that Cup tie as well, Given (hat Gerry was, clearly at the height of h is astou:f1(I[n,~ powers of elilirv.oyrutcy when he wrete this mmvelloiJslj' perceptive pi ece, one felt acutely disa~p(linled that, for reascas best kinown to. himself, he wMun.wi~.~ing to disc10se the names of~he winners of the Ile;o;;t fi.ve G.and Nal~anall!. the final score' (If the :2.000: W,orl d CUiP lFinilli'ld an. accurate forecast of how many times Billy McNeill wLlls.ay "Well, that'~righi~" during march eennnentaries between iWW lIud ~e end of the cenrtury ~ all whii.ih were pa.lpabJy "",ithJII ~1is capahi lities, The fact lhat\l'irtulll,~y lID

, .. ember of the Fourt.1iI Estate is able, despj~e the pMSag,eof2 'h yeM'S, 1:0 resist the temptanon of r:ai.~irng a speetre of Totten whe!l discl!Is~il1g Sr Johnstone is deserv.ing of 00 I.:.' oae response;· B·O·R·]~N<i'! '! !'

T 'hal'(,l',e te cOll,Oooe :hewever !hat IDe obsession wilh ~he l)ireate~ car tyre salesmen 1m thehistol)' ohhe Soouish game is not confined the mtd.ia voyeurs, There ~~ still 111 smal] butvoc1.ft:rollls clement araangst the Sal UI!S sll]Jpo;rr;wti kh refuses to forgi,ve or forget. They' n: ,easy to spot. Go .along to 1!I:t~ East Stllil'ld 31, Mcfhtmnid on MY match day and I'l(l ~ooner will the first misplaced p<liSS have beef! executed bi' a p,I'ayer i,n a blue shirt Ihoo they'll be leopjng too the ~r feet and howling "Hey Srr.trrocklBr1J'4'n,1 Wiull yo!.! g,01ll1a~ da;e {iboo~ this,'" The dear infer'~l1~e is lhat iJ'lIltt~ gold,en days on ',ellen such I;appef! ings were Ull kn!YINf!" eve ry pass, shot. :free kick, cros:s, pena~lY and gob at the {lPJlosi~i(]J1J ccrnW:: h~ If fO!Jllla ~1S d)~stirn.ahon, By performin,g uther rni.raculousfcat-s of instant arnn.t:sia. l!hey call alw cOilwi ncc 1h~,1sd".cs mal under the gueM man Saints did nm twice as a I',l"el'!lier leag.-ue cUu~ ge~ I'emoved from the S:k(!~ OJp' by 1st Di visio'n o<ppos.ilion; il~ways ,gnvot:: II mag1lifke:nllil,CICo1llnt of mcmselvcs when Inei' played RI!I]lg.e1'll (d\:sp.helhe f:aetlhat our 'winless sequence agllin~t them snrelChes had: to 1971) and never wasted ntoney on dOJ'!key.s Ii ke Vinny Arkins. Kennry

MlIcDom:lld, Billy Blaekie, laln Lee. John Irvine and Paul Sweeney,

r m not for one mitul~e S'!..Ig:gesting that

T etten's record during (tin: period] 986-1990 was !lllythi nrg oilier mall. excellent, bu. folks are serlously deluding themselves iflhey

IJe I ieve the debit side of Ille equation was at zero, The Clllb just couldn't go on

subsid ising the icvd of activity' in ~h'i: transfer market which I otten seemed to ~xpec~ atld demand (which in.cideiillaHy. he nruw appears III be repeating at Kilmamock), Bear tn mind too the acl:lievernent~ of John Lam bie and Jimmy Nleholl on budget'S

WhlCh have been. l'IegligiMe Iry comparison. [rn any Ca!i.l:. whatever your ,,~.cws,lhL: fact is I:h.e man's gone, h's ove-r. Plmila_ And! I wish those who continee to go alQllig 10 McDiarnJ idfor tblepu:rpciSt: of iVl~"gr.tridi[fg; rather thaTI sappnrtlng the ream w{I1;Ild take up lacrosse or crown green bo-wiil1g on SullJrdft)' aftemo(lfis and bugger oJHor good,

Sh~~By D om S~di:8;

[f John MclcHand had demensnated ph~nornlenal abilities as a manager, such as gu khng uste a oouple of Leagne ~td CllP dOllbles and tho later slIlgcs of the Champions teagu.e OIL a regular basis then mayne, just maybe, he ceuld have survived imbibing Irem d1 e poisoned chalice he was handed when, he took. over iII5 mruml@e[ in December '9~, Alas, w!hils~ the suecessfal Northeen Ireland sideof the early 198(}S seems tl> hsvebeen wmelliing of a fl niS:hing Sl::h.ool fer ,creal rnrula_gerial talents, 'IN illl the Ii kes of Mart.i[l 0 'Nem" Sammy McHmy ;md amiable Jimmy of$tark's Pm1< amongst its gradu<lles. we ended iMP with the l'Iumpty. Possibly M£Lclll:ll!ldi might have m3.a,~ a go of it inr <!! m~rellser'.friendly environmc:nt" 1)ut the eircumstanees of McDlIwmid at!h_at time 'Wen:: sucillhM he WII!i, goin,g to, gel pilloried if 11 player S!1l mlle:h as caught 11 cold_

There was m!lltirny in the dreSSing I,oo:m 10 contend with tOQ, An I:Inllo ly alliance of big moulfi'!s aFld SPQ~It. br@~ featurilllg the likesef AndyRhooes. A~ iilJil Moo:re:, .!I ohn Davies

AU~ M(JI'j~: srtlall grty, .tJoJg iug.:!, el'o!'~ (Jjgge,. lllIl.I!l!i1

and Paul Wright and probably 11 lbw others, rarely hid their lact: ofrespeet for the new manager. The f1:lCt that.) of the above have now left: the club aFld the other has been invited to do a Lord Lucan is no mere coincidence. A neat lhtle scoop inthe Sainls faIlzim:: W:~nd.Y Who? provided a ~~lilIg insight illtowhat McLel1af1d was uiP n_gaillst ~ they unearthed an iuticleby fOfJller fl1lHlflCk John Budden in his local pap~r in Croydon in which he alleged that after a comp:re;he:f1Siv£ horne defeat by Hibs "aUl' star crmtr'e.jorwara boasted fhat a fow mOl'€ re..~uh.~ like tha: al1d we would ~Mi! be rid oj lhe m.an.age1' ". The '(Jlntel'llpt tho!': Individual concerned showed for these who paid his wag~~ (Ie us) by such a remark was both bremh..:takil1,lg and despicable,

J

In God's Country

Luggy Sturrock's arrival in November <93· rallied Ihe troops somewhat but it WasJI' t to he enough to avoid the bel'lStly dropBesides we didn't deserve to slay up did we? A:fiei' all we had, ill case you had forgotten, sacked 'yIJUrkll.ow-who <U'Jd, moreover, OU~ main rivals ~I1 l.nt: survi val chase Weft Kilmam~k who, with their 9I.'men-bchil1{Hhe-ooH-IilZl_me, were "a brearh offl"esh air to the Premier tea;g!I(!" according to 11Iemedia- A be~l:))w of stale flatulenee would have been mere accurate ~ I:mt never mind, they were managoo by someone called r'Ol:nmy Burns w.ho had once played. for a big team i:tl Glasgow so tit'll made it all ok. ]llJ an unbelmlbly close run in we finally blew i.t by losiIlg a. goa~ IWCllIllilIlJles from time hl the peno ~lima1e matcl:l a,gain~t Aberdeen, whilst Kil1ie were ~enillg the better ofwhal!hc McDiarmid Pari; announcer, flining w [til an SF A life rnm. illl.d a. visit from ~le local Grandim:askr, causticallycelled ~Ran,ger!i reserves" (so weak a team in fact!iJ:Lat oVeFI Oleg K1J!melwvgot a game).. The Dons goal carne from tne un10ritUl1ate Bri<lll r r-vune - and the spooky combination ofl:wtii he and Tommy B1,)rn~ does admitt&llly appear to lend some credence to tneprevLoucSly rubbished c:livinc-intcrvo:tlbonlheory" Maybe we shouldappCl.unt Billy Graham as Director of Foetball OperaH{lIi~ to gLl-tlhe Big Man upstainvac:k onour side,

1)1011 les fen it was inevi.tahle tbatthe depilirlUre lm.lJllge ail McDiann id woul:d ~;1oe II popular .facility, I:nll staJbilUy and team morsle were hardly helped by ~hc ti~~;s ur Inglis m0a11 ~!lg that "he c.o.u.ldJl'{ be ~cl,~d fo mor.ivc-~? Mmt~if II) play In t~ f ss Division ~,

By Ute time Paul Swrrock got aroU!od to acquiring a few pla_yers who gave the jmpn::~slan that playing fot Sot J oJins!one wasn'~ actually theworst thing they'd bern flSkedro do j n thetr football careers - lim Wg:ir and Alan Main. for exaenple • it was toolate to get :my kind of'mcmenturn going and the entire seeson turned out to be as big a let down as a National Lottery 9C11Ik:1il card,

Swede' Peter Noren a,pparent:ly found fish farm i ng a more atl hn i f1I:g prospect than a two month contract with St Johnstone

.. e:;;prf!ss.fn,g a CQ,m:ommion: of disgu!It and ~lwme (II (/~e ,e'oienf{J which had Ilnfolded be/Ore .disoeUf:l<'b!g ey~~ af d~yi11g Ochflview" .. _ "blackest occosions in St John.Wlmt/ 's cemwy-pltLcii h.{J;(fJry" ... "/mmbled, lmmUialedand hunted by rhe buw/rer's, baker:; and cl1J'Jdfestick maker's" .. _ "mal'logememream w1fichfailedpaipably to l'1SUI QI1y degr~e o/(actlcar di$cipUne " ...

., excerfdiflgly ·good cakes' '.' (just. tllOU~t

I'd ligh~~Il things IIp 11 bit 8.t~h~ end there). EnSlI;wing thal th is wouM be a pal1icllllaiJy memorable eccasion from a j:leroo!la~ PO:Lllt

of view was ~he: fact ·that earlicir~he same

day [had had to 5ign ·011 Ilhe bru fO! the first time in ]3 years l13villg just beenmade redundant; Trump that for a phx:e o.:l'NiJCk Hornby-esque Jifu-mirroring"waJ,M·ha~penSc-oll~ili.e,.:football-.f ield, dude. P,crnllllPs the most unforgi "!lble asp«:-t of i~ all was thai the players, de~p:jte protestaJlions O'fwoullded professi>ona[pride :il!nd personal hurt, g1llve1l wnoUy cOMuru:m,g impression [tal giving !lJ damn.

Jusf A 'JwOludle?

Last season was not oomplete~y bereft of sueeesshcwevcr, We d.idmmage toput in a sI:r~ng showing in the 1994195 mOISt ridiculeus players' names awards WL1!h -om enlriesof Swed~s:h-triaH~ Jorge'!] Walemarik (Ilis fe~.~ow eouatryman Peter No.re:I'I ai:ro mc:.rits a special mootion,not so much. f.or his moniker but furl!he fact mat he apparently forWlil fish farm~:Ilg a rn.me !l1~IJIr.ing prospcdlhan al.wo rn.onthConl:rilct wUl!h Sl JohnLS1rQHe) and of oourse the one 8111.0 {'ilJly KcevillJ Twa,d'!dle'. The 18lili~r's

A~ fur as Sllll:tOCl\:'s m~lfiag.erlalll!ptitudil!- SllJlTIBJ[J;C was virtually enough. lin iI:~elflo

go~Utt's not so reuch a caseef thc jlllry still ~es~ow cult status anJ in displa_Y1l1lg iii I the

being OUl! lIS~hc furcrniI!FI ha.vtng stoCldilJlp ttl atbMic c(Foroinatio!lI of~.:2 d!ay old gir.affe

del lver the verdict ~d, sneezed, excused (lbambottz:ling op~o:nenls and team ma:tes

JiUl!Jd John himself'jo go W the 100., for~o~ten his !rnes, aUke) and headillJ:l1I1!:lility of Pat Nevi:n

At the start of last season we were installed reverted ~o his feU.()w jurers, )lllJu.sed, fen II. (de~pite beillg 6 feet p~I1~) his sl~tlls as a

as fa:vouti~e.s ~o win Ihe FirM Division sneeze c(J<l:!}ifl.g QII --- In other w(J'rds there's S·irinls logend has, 1J.eC::.Ii. assured RLepe8led

Championship !by the bookleson the highly linJe consensus around: hut if \Ve Men 't~i ~~ asaertions of iI!FI ilHcgililWe towards, Heaets

scieJuific rrem·is:e th~Uhe last team down in this season's promO'li.()n race bylht time &how thaiJ; l1e's~n got a few aspects of his

mllst be the IirStback up. In 25 Y.e<lfS of the tattle picking season's over I-tC can g~me re work. on, but hope:fuliy he's "quick

~1IJ;pportjllJg St Johnstone I have never known expect. to beth:~own ~Il the Tay wi'lh a rudder !emu::l]",

them to b-e fu.v(!Il1Irire~ for anythi:l\g that a~achcdl to ensuse his ~!lfe rdurn to .his first No fanzine article would be comiPlele

actuflUy involved tn~rn hnv~n,g to win _ not love, Jovial Jim, downDuedee way. witho:ut a few remarks about the: Chairman,

even fl:t~ Posfasshirc Cup, And so Ll was» A~nhe man \¥ho sacked Tenen and hired

th~ illlJ!r.<Jit:J1 of expcetatlon proved so great LowfLow, LOW' Mcl,ell~ld yOI!l might expect :s:ome naTsh

that we even man'lged to nil ish below Whatever LlJggyacoompHsnes with the diln words about Geoil 8rowlil but. ill trud~, I've

Dundee. vY'hat went wron.g? Probably a he will iJftfQrlumltety be foreverlillillted by got I ~ttle to say agairnst .him, Dt:spHc its '>Vt:H

combinatiol1 of aUiulde pmbk:ms an.d his acli.suciatiol1 willi th~ SteTlnOtl~mllli:[ I:tee~ed, pm'1perollJSmark.~t lown image. ITIO

mhpla.ced fauth in certain players was the de~de. Ttu:: sca~c of the fia~o wa.~ :such members ofliJ.e Perth busi~tess CO)nI'nlWity

decisive facror, a.ltl:lO'ugh rcmoY~~ndivjdlla!~ that the Pl!:rlhsnire Adlle,.tlser mlltch report hl'lv·e show['I.[lJl'Ijo' desil'e to' tryro buyout

ofthe qua!L~ (If Dodds, Inglis and WrigM virllmlly exhal,l~led every damtl~l1,g :Jidjective' Brown. My own. proposed s.w:op deo] ·o:fthe

from a ~OlIggilng Premier le~lgille sidA: ood in the Oxford dictionary ~n a:t~e:flilphng t(l ~ 970 rc.!=i ~ sulbbu~ro ~eam fQxliIl.e ent~]1e

you have. iI bUIl.ch of I.~t Division also-Tal1~ describe the I1i:ght'~, e.'ent-5 ~ viz: "moS., assets ohhe- cl~b ha.ving bee;Jl turute-d dQwn,

(In your h~nrl5~f you' rc not care..ful_ Of ignom~)tfeJ11g exf~ from tile higtaric the cnmlces ru"e .tle' Ilbe ar01ll1)(i tor some

courSe as lihe g8~es, TV ilitld sponsorship com~titjoo '. --- "(J plaint)' emotional bme yel.

!LET'S HEAR ni/ROM nIt GIRU SttirNH]k.dt,fb£~MeJ anddJs1rtmgllt" no.. • Ar1.':hie k/.fWGregpF

J

Andy RhtNle~' 'W{,JdplwwgrophimUy m:l~ad by 10 ro lmp~~r 1~,., ,()()(J()

DllNtAN DO-NUTS?

Duncan Ferguson - cult hero to ha1f of Meneyside; stupid cult to the majority of the Scottish football public.

Nigel Grant attempts to make sense oftbis subtle ditTenmce of opision

! Iladll' t been back. home in Scotland for long recently when it dawned on me that our oldpal Duncan l~ergllsM won't ~actly be the people' s choice for President i f the day finally comes 'when we sever the tie to London and become an independent nation once again. NlItional hew ul appears he is nnt; swm:1ing joke it appears he maywell be. Y et virtually ~i nee the day he arrived on Merseyside he lias been II cult figure.

Forget the misdemeanours, forget the fact that hi s gOlllsoor[ng eeeord a~ Ibrox was: on a parr with A.ndy Gorarn's: forget too his bueketload of goals, for Scotland - the 1!rU!11

is. that, to fans of Everton Football Clnb, DlJ.!nCM ferguson isthe 1l.!::W M~s:i.ah.

Now, before you ask whm the hell M ick out (If Br'ook'side pUIS in ttiO'S-e pizzas of his that makes ScOUlSCfS so uncrjtically devoted. 1:0 tho big man, a cursory examination (If his latest dub might just be LI1 order. The filet is that, for the past two seasons, Everton have been pretty crap - so bad, in fact. lhat in 1994 they only ayoid~rl rclegatlon b,Y defeating Wimbloocm ill their fi nat match with the help of a dodgy penally and the kind of goolkoeping that's meant Hans Segers is now assisting several (XIHce forces with the lr enquiries, SimilSlJ'J;y. last season [!hey were bottom for ages. failing to win a m<llCn until November and, ill the end. only securing survival in ihe r~rerniership i!l the second last gam.e· of the season, AH right, so they WOI'! the cup bm overall didn't cause elther Dalglish Or Fergie too many sleepless niights during tile season, In short then, Everton's fortunes WCIil: slightly different from Rangers' ..

A Sharp Exit

Of COIlTEe, whatever cl ub we support, we

al ways hark b.~ck to better dll)'s when we' re struggling, FOI an Everton fans, those days were the glorious 19805 and, 1'01" the older ones, tile late 60s and early 70s, In both rilo.$'e reri ods, Ol. feMllf'e of Everit:IIl'~ 1~I1O-up was the presence of a big no-nonsense centre forward ~ Joe Royle in the 60s and, more recently and somewhat .surprisjngly in view of his stig.h~ Iy less than gtiUcring llllemaJtiQ!nal career, Grserae Sharp, A Gocdlson Pan:. conlemporary of Sharp's, Ami), Gray, is regarded with the same reverence, despite bein_g there in the lwil~ght of ili~ career aad only hanging around the place for a coeple of seasons. Even III the comparatively lean .1970s Bob Latchford's goal scoriag record for the Blues had II i m knocking at the door ,of imlhorlillity too, The bare rrurh is that fur many Evcrtoruans, these Iour are no less than all-tlme greats and, as a resu ~I, many see Du ncan as the latest in along line of u~at·'em centre forwards prepared to spi [I blood fur the Gause and to' go down ill history for doing it Th is impression has been created by some ,onnc thiDl~ big Dune .has d.ope since arriving Everton had won one geme ""hC"DI Ll verpool ... ' isikd one Monday nighl last November and hardly anyone gave them a

History shows he 'ended up as a SIIJ b who came on and made onlly one significant contribution - clattering into Peter Sch rneichel

pmye-r. What happens? ThE big :l'I1ao gets one Mod sets up Ihc other for Paul Rideollt Sumply making a contribution as signifi{;ant as t1-1 is would have elevated Dunean to God-like slall&S mywll)" but 1 beheve !he way he scored his goal - and tile way he's scored nUIlY more since - abaolutcly gu,aranteed il. The flier is that he headed in a comer ~ simple as that: none ,of this near P!}st flick-on nonsense; no flaking borne a loose ball after a scramble 01" deceiving the keeper wi~h a wicked defleetion, He j list die! what ceotre forw8l[(is !lJn:: suppo~ed to' do

hut never Seem to these days. get their nuts on rhe end of crosses. For fans of tile club at whneh Dixie Dean scored goals lib this for years • .i! was like tlae second coming - despit,c what you might bear from those red noses who claim he was aiming for Neil Ruddock but that the ball just happened to meet II is head first.

Further goals liketllis against learns like Leeds and Man United, against whom the Blues ha ve really struggled in recent seasons, only served to strengthen his reputation - !lot least when, after ~corlng against tile Manes (another header [rom 8 comer, of COUTW) he proceeded to eclebraie by removing his top a:ndl sWIllging it above h [8 he-ad i ill a frenz.iod di splay of tril.ll'llphalism.

Then !here were !he m isdemeanours, on me pitch, he got a drink-.ckiving ball after «:m:isimerprehllg" a No !Entry sign. while 011 it he found himself runni JIg the bllih fur the others 81 Arsenal and Leicester, In both instances, Evel'IDnians felt he had been h!l!rs:hly treated; more o'bjecthlle I,l,rimesse·s PCiinied to the disadvemages of a reputation hardly likely to, Interesl,!he Diplomatic Corps. Nonetheless.. Ihe sense of j J! justice served a~so to cement the bond between player and fan.

Royle Ccnnectien S Thenjhern was the race to get .h:im fit in time for the Cup Finnl. A Demma problem was diagnosed abolll six weeks before WemoJey anti, although he only aCWOllIly scored one of the twelve goals in the Blues' Clip run,lhe lceal press became obsessed with the question of his fUIlesS - an obsession only strengthened by Joe Royle'S references to his being indlspenseble (a claim whlch the Semi-FinaI had already proved - and \'Ihlch tbe Final itself re-lterared - was a load of baloney).

History Shows he ended up JS a sub Who caaie on and made on'~y onesigaificant contrl buti on- cl~lte:ring imo Peter S,c.tl'meicilel. a man whose amazing arrogance ensured. that Evertonians were: as gratcfalto the big man as they wou~d have been for any go",1 he'd actually rnimllged to score.

On. top of all this, lhe pjgeon fancyililg. stuff lind his propensity for a woe drink seem to have re-inforced thc "one-of-us" idea ofl1illt that many misty-eyed Blues farns have.

Add to that a lot of publicity he's been geHi.ng for v~Sbli ng hospitals and ,gc~ing lnvolved with kids through school and youth club visits etc {even ifYQU take tile somewhat cynical view that it's all designed to eenvlnce some Appeal Court judge (hat the AI!I~truther pub brawler has had a complete j}~sollaHry reversal) and it starts to become clear why the man who's twice been transferred fm four m illi 011. quid. yel never reallyach ueved anything in fOOilbaU is now regarded as <Ii wee bit more lilum iii slight improvement 011 Me Johnston.

TAG Readers Poll--Part 1

We knew Most of you didu I t~~__e Rangers. Bot now we !CJul puta. percentage !lIIU ~t ...

The response I.et't us f~lin;g overwhelmed - and dr~dfllny ~Iiilderstaffecl. From initially wondering whether we wou~d get more th~1t a handfu] of IIBplies ul got to the s,tage where we were sick of the slgbtof the damn things arriving. 3026 iIllowl- a very respect:lh~e turnout. Ob\liol]_"~y it was the ~ b.rmg" (ie Illle promise of a prize dra!\!,I') that did the trick, Tn 3nalysillgilic results we de.:.lt w ithtllem seeiien by secuon as they appe;arooon Hit: questionnaire form (hey, are we .logical or whlff?)

Se~tjolll A

Q's 1-3 (Se:xJAgefN:a.tiomdBy)

Nol1ling p.o:u1icuiarll' remarkablc here, The oy(:rnhehmin,g majoriij' ofTA.G readers 1IJrt: male, between Ihe ages of r7 and 35 and $cn(tim (75%) Y cab, r~ght.

U's 4 & 5 Whtcc ~ Scottish Team Do YouSIlII;POU?

And W~y1

1 FIII~irk

:2 Alberd~en

J H~b,

Ah, we were j IIS~ saying in the o\ffice the other clay!ih.at we 've alw.:tys, N:~~we(] falkirll:: as tlil~ cradic of S()ott,ishdvilisation , .. 11lepur~m!re of this question W~:; sim,ply get senne jdea off the spread! ef al leglanecs of the rAG reader.s.hip and to be rair!here WIIS very btt~c between. the top !:'talrdo;r:en or so, MiMIy surprising an the same to see the Bairns co:mc (lU;[' tops lUul.hmv .strnnge that neitler Celric nnr Rangers arc in the firsl ttuee '"

No real shgjcks as far as the reason fOJ supporting a pZlrtkl,llar dub goes wnth ~LocallCam" M 50"~, ~nd "P~r~n.t :/.up{!{)rled themM at 22%,. Some pleasin,gly esoteric respo:nses though, induding "Good du.b $o(l!"!g", "I'm a CeItlwhc Priest" {not 11 Rangers slJPlX'rter in case j'QU were 'Wondering) M.dI "Nice top".

OJ 18 How Otbm [10' You Go T,o W,a~J)fb Them?

.~ IE~erlj' Wee. fJ6!l4]

:1: It~ery Ot~er W~e~ n~·'l4J

J IO!l~e .A M~nth n~·r;4]

A falr I'Il!ll'llber of reSI)()iI~!)e.s fel] i:rno the "Olh~1" t/WI1 Inri! aoo'J;\!;!" category, perha'p:s

ind icating that 11 significant rortuonof O!Jr readers wouldappear to be exiled Scots who only getup here for gameson ,01111. ,ooc:a.~ional basis.

Dc's "1 &. 8 Wihi;h! Sellil1!i.s~, Team Do Villi M,os~ Diillli.e? AnD: Wh~1

11 IR~I~gBrs

l: I[)alti~

~: IParlucik il'hinla

rn hundsight it mig.h~ have been better lO have IllSkerl the ~, uestion <Wh~t is the most I)ri~j:n~l rell${ln you can g:i ve fmhaling Rangers?' No surprises a:E<~:ln but nice to

see Gla~gGw make a. cle~1I1 ~weep ..

As fur the ItilS01'lS f:or disl:lling the H~ns,

~!Je, nlll.away wiMer was ~BjgotlJi.SeC'.mri(j·njsmlLO}41if;sr assodatr(ms" (56%) foUow11:d iJy "Arrogo1fce" (I 4% )~nd "FffJancial powei!Gl'eed' (11%). MG~c than a few ~8ad~rs also re~ponded along the lines of"ff ~1Jly ~xpl{JRi1rJ(J1j l'leces!l(lry?J/J(JI'J' '/ be :f0 b{(u](/y ~·t!pM·. The principal factor.: behind a l{laihing of the Tim~ ·0Ire "Ffigl)lryiSlMt{JrJ.I1.,~iMI!lR'~publfrxm leam'ng3"

ml%l U7%l ~:1:%)

(funnily enough) and "Paranoia/Chip all rite stmuldedf',el"gecUl'i,QJl compf.ill:"

(l's 9.81.111]1 Wlrnith l!itn;er TB8irrnAJ~8,n born YD~r Own W(l~td lI'o~llJ~a$l Nri nd Wimli~~ iliill, leal(lueOr 'CUD? And Wili,(1

1 liIaith IRmrers

:2 Motl'lerwellm i'ms~Plll1lick TIlis111e

J FcalkuJ~

A,tll~g what a CI!lP w~n can do tor j'>Ou

iSIJJ "t ut? MOitherwelJ picked up a lOI, (lr votes from Aberdeen sllJpparicrs - Il.othung whatsoever to do with A McLeish I~. of ccurse. Dundee, Cly<le/E,as~ Fife and

Albiolil Rovers >CRab Crangle's arhc.le sw~n,g i~r) picked up most votes for D~\I 's, I. 2 & :1 resp~tively.

"Play aU.racti .. e /!XIlDaif' (2 7'I¥~)1, and "Used (0 Uve th£re" / "CUr1'iI!'nf local team" (14% caeh) were the 1lI10S~, commolil explfU1Mi01'lS gi\len. Bes~ (]!f(h.~ frillge answers.- Dundee "r11~ aj'riend of Jim. f.)ufJl'. An well', nice

lQ .know he's ,got one.

--~~-

Hello. My Ili.llillO!! is Blma. iunrJ!!s Dond (IW. 1m, fm. riltlr's (he ,~t)r;,(md impt:M',~r'we 'w fuld' in tJJ:is i~'!W alifJ I'm mil Jltj~l.rtg nt, ,rIC, ere - "'

(l1s 11 & 12Do You E~,,~ W!l1!~h M8~~haS lII~il Inv,olving 'YQur' f,I!I·olI!ritG, Team? !If V'es. H~ow OfMfi?

'IVes mO'l4l

2 111m ~:1:D%)

~ O~ce a seas'!)n

:I: 2 -:l.~ ~I ~ea~on

3 :2 - 3 x ~ ~St8SOi~

A demOtlSU"ali>Qn of a-dm irab~e opt:il."rn~rnledlnes:5 or gimp.~y a reJUOCl:iOIl thfii~ yeur own team is se IIW£11I1 you can't bear to watch them on a game by game ba.'j;hfl Se>t::tio,nB

1!111 'Be~t TlhinQI Abou~StoilUi5hl footilaliin Season 94f9!i1'

11Il1a~1h w~nnin~1 (ioc3·Coia CUll

2: 'B,igrM~l1Is ~DI rel~I!B~~i~D hmubr.ej

liIund.ee U Di~ell !Jein~ rfle;~~,ted

a: !:eUi~ wiiollingl S~II1:liislh C'~p

JU!s~ loveihe underdogs d.OI!! 'tyou? I ntere~t.~n!l]Y at least half-a-dozen Celtic fa_t1:s'were amongst th(}:se \lQtil1;g for R<lith's triumph - presl,l~tablylfs OK [fwe fonvaro your detilib to Mr M~goo7 Fringe votes iII ihlsc!li~cgory wem to "McSray migsfng Ihat fMm11t1"., ,~ M'e:ado'lf'omrk 's demise (!)" and "TheWMther>' (! n.

n:2 Wm1s~ Thing'

1 R:~n~ers willnin~ I,agu,' 1I~8 io t52%~

2 ~~111~ willnin~ S{lottish Cup ~M~I

3 liIulldsl!llUlli~d Ib~'ing ~Ble!r~t,d 15;M~'

A popular wil'mer here.. ()uJ~hh the top !ihree ,!1i. vel)' wide spreatl of re£PMses,.

U5%} (J3%} (520/.,)

{12%} (41l}

incladlng "'LfViltgst,rm Fe', "Aberdee« not going down" and uthe Sc~t!il}'()rl PI1()'mN'~", 11 3 B:est NQW:Sp<!~.Br For Coverage at SeOlUi'!i~' f·OQl~<!II?

1 S~IFlllllfiljlllD 0, Sumlillv ~"8%l

:1: Tihe, Hllr.a 11Dj8~mrtsrrn!inJ8un n 2% Q~(l~l

:I No~.~ ol ~hfm ~J%l

No co.,nutle~~ap~lf~fr{)m whal on earth is lhM lying for second pla~e with Tl<eHenl.d and SOI])t.;m.II,n??

fI,~ B'e:!:t. S'~~t1lisn, fllll~b8111 Wdltter

1 KJ,'IIU!'l M~Carra [2:6%J

2 Jlme; TuaY!l~~ [1 :l.%l

J GriillltoamSpeirn[IBiU Le~k[1! ~n .5~l

W.h~ lst I10t wjsh~[Ig to dietrae<t too much from KC'I'i[l's deserved victory, its: W011h poin,ting out that ~ large number of respQ.nd:en~s, ,ac~lIy said "ther« j't!m " OI,re,i or something :surll.ilM but not as ~Hk;. Disastr'Ous IlIp~e of taste ill allowing Grab <Ill} "J 'm' :ff) il1/Q"o\e

wilh myself' Spdrs to ern.d up ~it'I 3rd place but on the other hand the 8.9% who v urea

for Arehle MacGregor will be re~ivil'lg

their TAG executive share option

cel:1i~.cM<es iitl~he, near future, lntrig!JIi:ngly, Bsuno m8IIviHIi miIiFIlIg.ecl. to capture W~ of the vote, wh ubtlhere \\I:;:IS one nomination

for Pordyce Maxwell, the J!grucu~rura[ editor of The Seoh:mi! n,

U 5, WQrs~ Writer?

1 McNeeJ'Ca mGiflon ~!i'1l}:t}

:2 Th.e whole, lot ot them.'

'lli:raha.rn S\~e~fS {6% ,elid!i]

:3 J01m8S fnryl~'u ~5~1

There were 00 many joint ]Iorrn:inations fw Gerry MeN ee and A~ex CarneirOn. we had no opttorn. ,otlic:rlihanID ,open a eembined caJtegory .. Nice to see SpeirsY!JII) tmere amongst. the ,ootUendets. Maybe next year et1?

0.6 Best Radio S~M:iQ:rn Fer 'C~:erBIII!' O~ S:~mrl1ii~n Fmotl¥lIl1?

1 R~di(l Scotl!lId

2 R~dio' ,CI\lidl'

J O~hem

(15,%1 n4%.~ :[10%1

No co:nllf.:st -no sarprlse either. Not 11 single vo!e was .rcgis.ten:d for S~Qt FM. The only

way iSI!II) fol ks,

(I 7 F.all~~rhl,l TV P'~ogr!lmmQ

1 f,antasy f,oOlliba,n Leagne {25.5~

2 MIIl~~h of tbe Dilly U 2~l

:I S~c~lSpmt UlU%]

The fact that 2: Il'mgr,OI!Inmes produced wuth of the border crume ml st Olind 2nd is a, pretty sad indictment of [he stare of IV footb:tH broadcasting in. Scotland.

(I 8 FII\I1(mrite IFmm~b~1[I1 80mb

1 Fe~er IPi~ch - Ni~k H on~lbv

2 F,motlm8illlhcunds 'm~ B:ri~~ illl -Sil'l!(lrlltlglis

J flfJoUb~1I AmaiMt The Ef!.'Bmy -

s:rmlO~' Kuper

The most popular Soott'lsh ooub were

~ Black Diamonds and The Blue Br=il" ~Hampd~n BabylemM al!!dI"The Giory and 7:Tie ,Dream".

Aml~;:':'s.is cmnpik:d by I I:tLrI Jenkins,

Ql1csti()n n~fr.;l rrj~ DIf~w W~n,n~rs £3DBook Token - G IF Chris1ti.e, K!rll::.caldy; £:15, Book l'o.kelJJ - R :Berman, Glasgow; T~Shi~ts - A Kotl)lS, F.;alkjrk; J Rd:lb. BirmiFl.!'lilaJI1'; $u h~~l'i~Uon - G Munro, .~"enicu~k.

REFERE'ES, HANGERS AND HACKS

When is, a penalty not a penalty? When itls in a mateh l'eport, of course

As it young boy 1 was the best penally box. defender of my era. That I d idn "1 make it to the big rime, roan) in:g around thepenalty areas of C hftunhi n or Glebe Park is down to a gT{)WDIIg d isi lluslonment wlth the game and referees in jjanicul <IX. I1:Ilh(:r tlmtrl IIny sudden and painful realisatkm that my subtle Fraaeo Baresi styk ofplay/fou:ling would not be appreelased as much by Sc:.ottish referees as it obviously 111Is been by Jtalian referees over the lilSt 15 years.

The referee said that it was his proudest boast that over a period of 18,

years, Rangers had never lost a match in which he had offidaled

Appreci!l!1J 011 for the 'gel. stuck in' style of rootball in Scotland. is car-efully qualified by Scottish referees: so long as it's blMrul1, you get away with it; the minute ),0111 try any I:ancy Italian 8uibtlr;ty you're off r gave up. 1 was reminded that ~h is di.fferenoe us alive and weI! dmDng the televised Aberdeen 'V .Rangers gel!lt'iep~aYl:d fast february .. A slraf1g~ thing happened; the referee tumed down two R:mgCIS' penalty claims, one a push all Brian Laadrup being as blal.ult a

foul as its possible 10 sec in a. match. 'HIe referee saw it Had the p1.L".h been a subtle, deniable nudge of course then II penaUy would have been awarded. l USe the word 'strarnge' j ncidellt~Hj' beceuse there is this theory '[fmt referees favour Ute' geJ"s. t've never believed h.

Referees <lire ill tine main IlIlmllfl, they make mistakes, Ihey 'C:8n he swayed by a ~arge crowd and by the knowledge lhat if too much 'colltroversy' becomes alHichcd to fheir name then any ambitien to referee ill the Wade! Cup w.iH be up the .SpOllt, But they don't act as the 12th man lot the lbrox XI. 011 no, r decided to investigMc !Jsing the press rutind othe,r examples where Rangel's had been b~alanUy eheated out of ~1!I a lties, goals andvUc'l:O<ries to p-wve my point, Someone had to P1.l1~ the case for the defence. For 000 loag I) myth has been

bel ieved in. Peddled b;' TAG anIolIg others, 'lI1is myth illvoJV\cs Rlmga-s, referees, masons, orangemell, Sf A officials and newspapoennen_ A colollrflll pudding if ever there was one, Unfortunately, J CGuldl1't find anything So this article is now going to become a 'rubbish the press' piece.

Ne:verrMiI!IId The Boli

Has .anyone else been ~o ~ game inv'ol:vin,g the light blues tIiltd nol [Coogll LlSI:d thematch report dll the next datY>:5 paper? The teams might be right, 111<: score may even be gi von correctly. but somehow incidents seen

New TV Facihties AI P'flrkhead .••.... ,.

dearly have become rransformed in prim into something different, $olUlc~hing which looks designed to cause confusion and fnJslratiofl_ 'fake the Raagcrs v Hlbs game played] on Boxing D~y 1'994_ In the 49th millUi!e Basdle Soli deliberately punched thc ball a.way w.hen he W<U standing in ilie Rangers penalty area. A peaalty? Why'? Reliction to tile incident was typical {Radio Scotland can be excused as its commentators. inclllding Gord!:lID Smith, made clear Ihai! tlmy thought it outrageous tha~ no penally had been awarded), r ]ugb Keev LDlS in ikl!! .':i~'o:lsm(m d nd report that

Hi bs 'wt!!r~ denied a penalty fdck . but he added th M Boll was 'alleged' to have h~ndletl ~hc 00.11, but the referee disagreed Alleged? David Hw-c:he in Edi[l~mrgh' s EVCIling News reported th1li~ 'Hib« might }u.tl.\i! 'lUd a ~I'tolty whm Emile Bolf dearly punched a Gareth £n.'(ln.~ C"f'OSS '. Might hem!"? Jim McLeat'l in The DlIily Express wrote that "the Edinburgh side seemed to have strong claims for a penalty when Bu/i appeared to arm away a Cr(}JJS just I'rrside fhe box". Seemed rd? Appeared to? Is this incisive jOllrl'ullism? Or chickening out became it involves Rangers? Whelll Tread 11 m;JUrn report] want to read what the reporter saw; 110'1: what he • ap]ileil£t{j" to see: or 'might' have seen OJ: "~eemecl' to see or "alleges" he S<lW. It WiIS 11 deliberate punch .. h was II pem!lty.

I realise that what I write will be seen as being 'conueversial'. In Scottish football the word is used to lIieim something which iSlhe' truth hilt is too embarrassingte admit publicly. Atl8ch the word 'controversial' to say an incident or a statement and it immediately demeans it ItO the level of something taboo, something which inevitably wi n be covered O'II'er if not cO'I',ered 1Mp. 'The \1I'O(rd is frequently apiP! ied to !lin)' bosti~e comment made albout RlIl1gers re. rn Ma:~ca'l ] 993, a. ScoMish reporter dared to criticise the club iii a Scottish newspaper. Bill LO'I!hia:ll of Edinburgh's Evening News wrote a controversial article: 'Rangers Hoisted By Own Petard: No Breaks This Time'. a00llt ihe European

Cup, foreign referees and Rangers FC, In the article he argued th1l!! ]11 Scotland the dub had been 'g:eltirlfl the breaks and the beneflt of the doubt from Iho~e j n authority for yClU"S' and. that' offlcial s have ben~ over backwards W ensure these "Teddy Bean," ;m on fl permanent picn ic ", Lothian inc9denbiH), is the Even inil News' rugby correspondent.

John Mcdonald ... P,enalty!

Donald R Findlay QC. vice-chairman of Rangers read the'articlc with 'considerable disquiet' and with Sherlock I lohnes-like deliberation wrote in reply: "011 no vi.ew, " he said, "could it be said to be a piece of lfli[Xlrlial repoT"lliW. if:o imply that e~'(her .fJ'eul"/:J/ (n' Hibs ur-e prejudiced in some way Wrieli pl(Jy~'11g R.r;mgers is 1111' ossertio« which wm not s'u::md any e;wmil1otion ", And he COfltlnUed. "The dear imp!f,:::aticm that certain Rangers players haW'! cheated in ordf!1' to }j,oj'n penalty kicb; f,~ rej~cred .and resc.nred and would he unwwlhy 0/ even the. m10sl bias'ed 1I0011-/Dllowgr oj 1?(Ingen,. ".

Elementary dear reader? Anolher letter writer said: "For Bm Lothian to sugge.I't [It.!rlgers owe I'hdr $ti.c'Ct?ss .to the .c'onniv~l'j\(.'e Qf referees and mal'dJ ()ffidar,~ is both 11t1Sty and sm all-milldeti It slanders a hod}' 0/ men. who, by ('md large, Garry 0111 a th,mJje,~s task in trying C'on.dj{joo,~ to lire best a/the-ir iibihty", Hmmmm '"

A few months later the Rang'efs club brought out a 2 hour audio cassette 011 the history of'the club, (]la,fgow Ranwrs Ne~islted, wh tell included 'eernroversi ~ I' comments. One of these was a;n anecdote told by nl1hby Brown, Rangers goalkeeper between 1946-56 and Scotland manager

j 967· 7l, He recalled a diffieult match 8t PalmerslOlii Park with Queen of the SOli th. In the closing st~cs with the SC>01'e at 1·1 11 Queen anile South forward was on Ute point of head ing nome a COTnIT kick when the referee' myster lously awarded Rangers a foul. As soon as it was tak .. cn he blew for full-time. Some years later, Drown found himself mal: i IIIg a. ret irement preseaterion t-o the official at 11. fill asunic Lodge, The referee, who B[O\I,'o did not name. fum said thal it was his pruudest boast that over a period of ~ S years, Rangers !lad !lever lost 11

match in which he had efficiatcd, Hazy memory? Jitn Farry, SFA chief executive den ied (hat any form of censorsh ip' would be app I Ied to future editions of (he cassette. Pink elepnents were seen flootililg over lihc:

Clyde.,

TIle pericd Bl'OWIl was talking about of course is long ago. II was aJI era when jOllmalis'[s could write informed 'comment on what they ~~rw. Itugh MdlvanllCY rncenHy wrote about thechanging style of football rcporti ng:

"As a repor(el' ! haw! always seen the game Ihl'OIjgh my own eyes. Nm so rong ago such (r.rr ossenio» wONld hm'f' see1md '.mgnabie, stnc« ju;~( about l'v,ery pi"O/(!ssfon.at m my bu.~ine.~.~ 1;t'JIlM ~'l!J' £1S much and expect ,10 be be/klleJ. ill recem ye.ars., howiitlfel', 1/J(.''I'rJ furs emerwd ,[,I breed oj fooHwil j{I'JU"Mtisl.S wiio appear unob!« W pw pen to l}UJlf!r or fingers 10 Ta.l'ld_l' Utili! some player or manager has imel'pre1ed 'he w.'lwnjor

{l.iem. Th~y c(j~m o.t fum:!i em u/!JJf!,~S fudted by ({urnes. rmljee/ tita: iIlhey wlmt Mind their working efficfency WQuJd be

The current Scottish Sports journalist of the year resembles the lead character in the Ev'ellyn Wa.ugh novel Scoop

!m,{yfoctea, b~il tjtlu!y 1IJ.\~nl df!o'fthey wemld fUJI h4ve flu! first idea of what hap~m!d all the pal'k. Their method is a plague, (mel il oJ ,~pread('W ",

Mac The Knife

Now. I'm not one for looking back to some myth leal • golden age' of football and

neilher is Mcllvanm::), I suspect. bm as fur as football report ing goes, the evidence is there: tile standard has dimillished. You only have to look at coverage ill the 193010 or 19.50,s to see that. A Jombafl reporter

I ike Sandy Adamsoil who wrote bll ALUgm;t 194·1, "Then c-amll' one of these dreary p€nait}, CJ'W(Jnls to Rangers and the next lhil"ty minutes we~~ hard (f) I!MW'e " is no longer around, AfOOlbail joumalist like Cyr11 Home of Ute G lasgow Herald who could write ill March 1953 about the

• Alarm ilig Repulati.ol1 of Ibrcx' 'would nol be considered an ec-centric. W bleb football journalist today would COllsls~l'Itly attack we cJut} for pl'icing some of its most loyal supporters out of a seat at [brox? VI"auld today' s Scotsman see 'Om Football Correspondent' report a \N inning goal of Rnngers as follows as ul did On 4tll May 1953? "Rangers decisive goal against !JUH.dfle was 0/ Ih~ highly C:dn{rlYll!ersi.ai order. With the score at f -.f, (he IHJU was pushed aW(11Igfl the m fddJe to Simpson, As 'Ofl€ mcrfl, (he Dundee players appealed Jor oDs ide. Even the Rangf!I-sjorlWClJ'dspaused fOr £i .~,econd. but n'o whis.d<!;! J:(Jlm£tl!d and Simpson advanced afow yards 10 score tijl! si'llple:Jt vf 'goah, The correctness of lire rejeree 's decision will long be a subject.!ol' loo/baH argum.ent, yet il 11111# be admitted that ,\4,. Bl'iUte was welt plac~J flJ see Simpson's position in relation to hi.!,' oppo.Pif;!nl~ IJnd had .110 h.esi.tatioN whate~'e" in award~ng (.I goa!. Stilt" it wa.s an ~mh~alilifiJctory goat to !ieme :lw::h m,(jj.or I',~[,I(ler,~ as a League Championship '0,

Boot Of The Eeast

There is II certain sty ~e in thc~bu"e 'report, Dreaded words like' appeared> OJ 'alleged' or 'seemed' don't arpe~r. Thejoumaiisl believes in his own eyesight Ile says what he saw and he subHy comments 'UrpO:t'l whllit. he saw - even though i~ is of the 'controversial' nature. If [have it rigln, then the qaestions a football reporter has 10 answer in ~ match report are; who, when, where, why and wlrlilL. The first 1.11 ree are msners of fact •. who scored. when it was scored and where it was sccred from. The 'wily' is not easy to answer {how can the reporter be expected to know that the referee is a Rangers supporting masonic Orange

I . odge member or a Celti!.: s.upporhng Klliglll of'St Columba") It is the 'what"

thar is the current problem, To accurately descri bewhat happened requires I he, rejlOirter to inSl:alltJy pul ~ together the facts

based Oil his eye-witnessing events wilh Ilis own informed 9nlerprelil~ion of'llilooe events. It requires work., Later, [[lay memory Canl only encourage the usc of' words like 'seemed.', 'appeared' or 'alleged'. Its no use getting a. mallager or player to lllt,crprel either wh~ what is wanted is independenr thought,

I know trmt its easy to attack Scottish feotball journalists, You just say that they are lazy, {lilt of touch, lnecmpeteru, Im:king in subtlety. useless, rubbish, clueless and anlnformed, But. KeVin McCnrfa excepted, I can' t th ink 0 r any who gives tile impresslon of being knawll.:dgeabie about the game, Milich tabloid! eeportingcould be churned o<ul by trainees wl thout anyone nOlicin~ any difference. The breacslieets have th'eir ~h!lIC too. TIle ClJrrenl S,otlish Sporrs j{lul'I!;~.list of the Y£I.Ir resembles the lead character in Ihe Evelyn Waugh novel Scoop: "O/HI wave of passion alId with {he .\fJllgean(·e O/'lt$,tory in (heir hearts, Ross CQunty made good the gJorhuu .11'(1(1111 afthe Highlands by hiWP1g the Omlr-ar belt end gubMng Cowdenbeatl: 011 their historic league debut", ("Yes" said the .1alnlging Editor. 'That must be good style, At least it doesn't sound like lmy~hilig else to me").

M,Nee: tW aClI>rbl j'o.rmitl,gjm'lilJ{n'd It) f;J.fte,wII1X

th« TAG Pull ilMU'tt.t CCP"6m,JJJ,),

HiS article 'Cash Crisis Threatening Inverness 'Jerger' (8 January 1995) required a 22lil1e correcrlen I!hc following week with the words 'wrong~'y stated' and 'Incorrectly reported' prominent, Scottish Sports journalist of the year?' l don't thLilk so' The trick cyclist showed more promise, Me! !vanney is right The plague is spreading. If s just aswell ther the ~hm.dnrd of refereeing is improving. Well, up 10 a point.

KPark

Goollrary [,0 w~~ Afo;hl~ mt.[llt1 .!>3y. if~ qlljt~ good fun -oo~til1~ l)J~~I"I~r .B. cl= ~~~D fiU1<-ln~ n:"j~."'f. the ~_ belng you get to 13fI~1l ill ~I1B fa.::.e M ,~llhill I:tD'pcl~ssJy l'OO!aflli~ ~"h>£'~~<!l5j;m qMimiGm.

f"mt lip in 'I,~ Ifucl,;..is Rav.e On [i~~i;e 1$)< ... hich I"C'lIlly '01IJj1J~ 10 have known li!cft~r_ ! ,m3:J1, I~SI· i~l~ ii's El\frnb!lI's 1M!. I,i:; ~ll~,n<:l!t thing yoo. 1.::11'01.'0' tII!ilY'~ jalhrug w[1h 1l'IB man as ~II: h<lilla5 oul life pl;i!,l'Cr's W,Bgl::!. Despite ~Id.h Ql.li~ling~}'I~ ~ol]lI~loo .",.~hfl.ll'll"(:~ of "ll~Dor;1y ir~ enfine roml wi~~ all e.~ to ~I~ mix or (:!'ilk~ ~1}J;q,eci~~i.J.m (can :ro~ 5a}'lll1iD~s !i~t; tllfit aOOLJ[ ~Hrlii:ng Albio~?J' ~1iI~ 6el1~l~ ~If·mocl;.ery. The abli![B.lary .ba.H.\i"~~b~a.~()i"lh~l.w.il~ is ~~terlll1<m rnmt :!I1d, inlM:stin~ !II~ winner of11l~it [)j,. 2 J~i!!J1' I~"[j. ,;:;;jlllp.IJllW1 .,..~ ooe Gordan Wnll.l!cc who racksd fir a gtalld !lll,,1 ~~ 1] ~Ilt!> nnd set liirg~p8ru of Tavside into 8 m:n~d I'iL~h fQ:rlh~ l~tlJbrQl;km ooltle I~ m~f of the medjcill~ caJ!J~n~[.

U~ '1iJ";,,dSl:i~ ".,.~ 1h~ outlook for Dundee IJDHoo'~ The 1F~~al HurtJ.I:e'd (iOlllue· J~"l ~llho~ih ilt ~i~ nme af wri~tl\.g :;!raws W~ still ooi~g~I"l!!<li'~.1 ,~. /If!I:J ~ng :!I<~"i·r;·,~ly .... iLI! '~V~[)' ~)'1li.cBl ed's ~t.g;Jl.1mam·celebraring a ~'I' \11<:1("" I ~l~..::rCIr ~01!!e this, tale Ii!~t af1he Uni~oo~di1ioBS, will C(lmi"I!e ;1~ I_lId ~1ru.~lIr pun v.illl 1Jt001e]· farll1js OO~ d~~pi1~ [Ibei)lc~ l ~e! .h~D! fme all.Y~1, !\d!!ji~lc!Ily ~h_ is li~ie f~il1 iS~II~ Jg b~~:l1g,1!:l'~ i~ <)Ilty Sl~ ~.~II of the 5i1= i[l1iil1~ crap yoo C3J1 wring fralll ~ n!1~idi~" b.~I'I~ 80 ......:'11 rorgi'~ them. Caa;lOODS 3IilC as good as ~r 001 what it\\o:!i~s l'j

Divisioo 1 is best left to ~IIl:ir DmBgtnBtioo fi.()j ,~iii~. l)ili1:rt.f'!ll',,~'" '[l,~ i~4!~ ~~ lJoul1~e WIIII1S of a ~c~tial fl~~i~!l at tll~ ~iio,fls (Itt' rOyr f'g~~. T~'~, she soccer ~Ie mag w!tim I s~PP!'.!IIl 81: least Ila.~ 1~B Il!(.!t<J grace I,.. ask far I'i<'e\l o!~ w:1td1:G 00 mio.gil1g mDQCe pies rililher ImBll just !M'ijIG them (r(If'", ~ Ii~~. Y'l'ilI" oW biJ~k cop)' of some m v isioot Fa~r E,\gli.11 ~rr~rC. 1" ro~I~;Hi"JI F~Llr F~I" l"",' w~ld, WBrn tI1~ ~~: of" ~h1~ I3D~lj~1l sp~~g wott~ 31~1~ 'n~ ivo Jo:n lJ~imill1 [ll1erYi= "..!tim ~ wi.1h 1l\~ ~~Uf~.~ljl~lll: ''I'li~, Dlilicll aJld go"!<)cl.I,JI)k i~~"b.':rore GnuDt·~nRg aD in Dnlie.~e ~plerul.aur 1~1ih~ o~~~bt"lui; Mw~= i'C i!(fd !111: CiJim~li~ W>OOIl~~ .-cak.rballi. ~im. Tb~'~ @\o'oeii _'It[l,i,,~ 'l'1;1A! nit~ i!OO~t Airdne brn 00.1)/ if)!"Dl1 ti~~ Ihal S!:IrI of[lli~S.

Up till 110W l'....c stdc-~t(:ppcd 8n.y Inm~Q~ "f 11Ii~ P.i!r.~r T.~~ir. ",~i"~r ~il~I~~ i. ~~~ to lend ~D lales of OOllfu:siClB, Nm1ihcrn UglU ~@~1~;~ <'U!i!.I b[H~ ~GnrnimllliC(n.. rv~ J~s1~ Ill111ril is~u.e ~ bll' I ~I~'!· kiel;!)' ii' bild .il.!Jy ~onger, The Pa.~r l'j~,~ is a~~ of :5".:lmliJoli footb.AU'~ ~st fi"w:i~~ wi.b S()~ ill tl~ most a~t:illa:ndill~ 'A'riti~~ .... , S~I i~6~!Jlloa'Il :lIll'll brimli v.ltll ~ ~O~ll:mpllOr tl.e Dooald dyIlas.1}' !~;u :>jFai'i~ M ib~ fIi~11I sid~ {)f ~~8~~3i~,

Illis mooth's ball-bU:ll~t 12)'3 ,,,iJ(> !h~ boiml, t~ lJ.Jard img ~lliO Ib~ oo.lrd v.1tll l!!lore J~~al blol'I~ Ih1!l1 HlLgtl Gm.oi~'S P'N~tei ~~i!A_ My peTroIIal favamuWl inctlloo 1Ih.~ rroo! OOWi.r, '111@ b.Q: '~o"~r ;mo ;:~'ef)'thiDg j~ ~L_~ 001 S{t!CcjaJ me;nJil:ln for 11lB pl'a,re~ (;Il>i~I"IYi~ I~ ~I.~ ~,,~ I'm RlI1o:r d~!liIppoiDti:d Ib~ Dolts di . .m'J ,go::>

F' IS FOR ... '

dO'i"D as H eould ~if'o\G opoooo ~,·e"" vistas of crea1li~ijy ill the ('"1I':ii"i~~ City,

TlR' long aw,a[1.oo .fBVie,w M ·I~~ Hnrn~wol'ilih llil~w {.~~ i) comes ~>;} us COllrtcsy or .~~I;!!;OO.ml~ b~iJ1.dI TANEHSH ¥I~ ~IIQOI: 1o~-e;]!iJI~ T)'o~ PMli~ For ,8(]p 1II~.rtO'~ 2Q M;;;k i!I1d ,,41jt·~ pa.ges mOOl IIt~n ';'!Dil~!1: m b!:1llli~g oo~ Ibc ~s!llirtiQ~ ~bal C;~I'!!,iI= ~~ I"(:ady ·w 3, 'f::lIO?J,L';', .i1J~ contems are i11111~ TANEI1l'lU 'O'Ctll and !lle RQ~~ h~ ilpJ!C'ar to enjoy mm~ i~H'~~e",lilli(ll1li. willl1 Wk~ AcaileiTIji iliLii~ ~h~' Paper Tiger docs wj~1 /\b!:ru.ecm, All. in aIL apromising .11'111 illJ~ ~oJlCMlr Se<:>1laml\ IRO:;! f'.1ar1t1e:rlyf3ll:dM I~ a I~ mo~ IG COI;']~.

l'iiIl<lLly I haY(; a confllll~i(!lfl 11}i~a'!;_c" it 'C in Higher (i,;,rTIIillJ 81.Lil1iilll~ow Ac&d~my d~~s ~ot p~ ene to 1I'an:s1la.i~ ]'''J¢ ~1I1lk5 ofGoe1ile 31 .D~ droJ"I ,Qf 3 ~;)~, Higbee C_"Iilli al: lhLliillWJw Acad.erny dccs ~~t I!iVi!oI J!f('jMII"e )·00 (Qr loe ins wwI cets (>f Sch~~~~ Vru;w (i~~I!<: g), So wilen TAG a~h f.o:r \IIOrtl~ ~n Ih~p4~ ~Pfi!OO 0" ran i.;'k rhisll~ It's bcill.ll optimistic, All I eun !HI)' is .b~1j[l~ i~ 'Ag;til'!Si !'oW~illlll Q\'~eJ1.'. CI.ic ClJ<U11le.)' has 10 wail I1I1!ilp;8fa;g_t';!JJ~' II for his ohljS~lOIJ' mention ;md there's a pi~ ef "-01~e J:~K~ f;lJJ1~

HI Dens park, F.!~ ... I~re there are some n.iCoC cart.!o!Ii1~. it piece on Ht:ng1a1!1d'~ Sl;3!1o">J] ""~bil.!Jt'l: CiIllecl Ki'ck and Crinl~ ~!? mRi rori1C=Q~ I!Jcyond 1l"I!ilIIm'e'~ upieee of :!lI!fl"Iw sell~LljJ~ OC!11f~ froot OO\'~.

At 1IIis po[nl !''OIe ~i~J IL'~ lLO Joo~er fUD daiRgllh~ close season review and if ~ba.r~ III~ ~1 we CilJI do Tm off to WI10n.e :'&TV ali Ibal Davie C~~Fle. i,;~~t-e must be dUB fClr 3"'~~~. ~n:~JQg 0)' now,

As~ns" C~flien;y~. DIIl~dee JJm OXJ £.1 ll'£E eEL T (CI!1Eic, ~!:i~lon~1I) M :s~~t:I~n, 7 CI'I:t'Loo TIli'if, (ib~go'N G3.U 2M ,~Op

DEAD .IlALL ij'r<:'i!fl~) 52 BaID S[j;e,,!~ Mllburg~ .Ern.~S I,~~f~

f)I!WLIE ROLlGE; '(&!~i"n mlbal]) S MID(:!;eild~n COlll[,Hligll, SI, S:OO.III~~,U,"'~~D I'll 14 6:ED 7S,P

"If!\fE DUFFlE (-S11!:i11!lOO~rnu.ir) ~ 90 SmLrn, !';uk C=ot, Sil:llllfooGmru:ir, FlK1 411)1J· SOp

EAST fiNp 1l0UMCE ([JIuJlr~mili[)C) ria' 1.1. R.owti~ GOO'llf. Dl!mii!:tI'l~ll!l~ KYJ J 5QZ _ffip

!5U MIr'ID O·ml..Lffi ([)uod!5::) PO Box ~ ~ rI, ["ill1a~ (~p)

ELF'ME'fE;I~ (GerrJI1BJ1,Y) J 6 M~IPwJ Roam, Perron, Stsfl"~, WV67XN7.'lp

f:ANll'~E COL.UlCTOR. 7 i ~an B~[1I1 PlIli!. Li~~[I.fj.""'" 60p

P]~Al ffiJROl.F.'[} (Dundee Uid) r"l~ [10\0; 91 D~QiIa iJDI 9DW 70!l

FOLLOw rOLLCiW fRa:n®!l'") PO Boo; 539, GI3!50S.., ... · GI!1DJ';E!

fRO:M THE mwvll TO nIlE HARROW (Ih'i,wi-.l;: RJ ~7 SI Mild;.'~ A'O'Cn~e. A'[tiil',:hilm.ClJ.c:~bil)!; WAI<i ~~I'I £1 (01ll>:1~~ p;)yat>J~Lo.O Stenhouse)

FUt. TON 1-0 (1....,I~Il~) PO 800; 1l7®., Gln~(>w (J~6 7NX 60p

HA:I~M:SWORTHRDAR: (WId!: Aei!dl:m)') UI'DC ~d~n~a 9JI for T ANlEH$}1 "bo'l'~ !lOp

H]BEES, HERE, H!lEiffi~ THERE 9WoodfilIL Dri~B. CrnyJarrd. Kcm DA I ~:rr~ ~p

KICK Of'!' (WOJll!:m'~ PooIillall) et« T"'Dl~yMi!lOOlm. 71 R.oc:k:lJ.ii11 Dn'lle. (J I"~~ll'" (;44 5EU SOp

KilUE I<BN ('Kih~1l0Cl!.:) 2lC'a:n:ruc:1 I'Iace..Ki]!ua~~. Ali"'hi~e ~A3 2QA 5fIp

THE LAST L1NIFi or DEI'ENCE (EJgi~ Ciiy) 32 fH~~ SffiooJDtriive, N= E~2i n, Moo~y WID 3UE lIOp

MO ~m.l, TALK (He31t;s.) 71 Thl;a~~U<l1 f';!l"~, Uruith.gow, Wi:;5! LOOIhHI £1

NO'[ TIlE VJEW (fill.!:) !'!iJ' Iloo; J06, GI~gGWG21 2EA 51l'

O:Ni.. Y TIffi lO'N IjL Y (Iilidliie) 3 St.8rfa [)fiw, AI ,!:Iii;,. MLrj a:NG 8IlIp

'l'HE> 1-'/1 PI!R Tl'GER: (Acbe;n:klm) r.o. BIJ~ 36U, A.ooj"~ AB9 8Ui[.. U

THE .RANGERS I'lJ.'lTOJHAN {Ril3l~e.n; !ti~tmi~L) Il. M";ruro~, 21 Comniig S1ro;::t, GJMJ¥>W (l.U 51'1 W £L RA VI:: ON (SI!rl~1l.g 1\~biQm) 4E Vfiitial1ll I'I<"lIlLll J'I~~'1;:, Swti:ngFK7 9EQ ~

THB RBD PlINAL (AOOr~~~ p,O. [10\1; }~g, Aberd= AIWBA~ fl

RICiORE! (~"'~""n f"-""lbiLll) 7 Mllllwell Sirell:t, njtnll!ri~~, .002 7AN H20

RUiPJi1R,'S ROAR {FaJ~Hk) c}(j, FIM 3, ~6 (,,"-Hoe Si=t, EJj.,b"rgl. "H~ MP (:EJ) .

SCOrrulH RlOTIlA'I-L tllb"IJ\ORlAN. l4Railll, ar.:,~. 1<J~~8Id~K. Y2 5MN Illlp

SOOrn~'iH NON-LEAGUE REVIEW 12 Willlllllll\TRIil, Rll:Ilw .... I'M (liS£; f2

SCHALKE UNSER f"~h~l!oe iJ~)fOIitJlI.d 10 24 11. 4.58:Z~, G!:lsel1kircboo_ ~rrna:f],y O.~~DM

F~~ all [h~ ;~I1!~!~~t~~ d~ll b!:tw.::eo ~b~ Ifil~~ ~1l4 f3ll:d11~ mG\'-'?m~~t$ one ~~~ili~ IC<lIm-e Df Ih~ formsr 1ill.<r1 ,tHIS !iJee:n, !Xlld.OOl wiUl.<::=d il~ Id,~ ~;II·~ ia tile "c>!lF.ll~ba.e!(', 8~ i~. !l.~ r~'~lf3llce af:F'lr6:m, 11h~' {;.NiW T~, TIl<! H.,..-g", (!!I:'EW.idl. RRn(l'l!I'!Ij j"~:sian of .1 Irmd~ Cmi~il1~ iD 00 f(lrm~ :£.fClfi,;s ~ !limlL)'DlI aCI:ll~"Ji(ll1 illil1 ~IJ!l.I~ ~ k:",cililem 8g3il1st ~: QI' ally <">;lIe else mvi~.iI1~ nlQol1 foll1t .. ,ll f:aJIZi:,,~s - so ~oO{i on!oo lq·C,Tlf[ fQlks .. Hm~·'s IlGpi~g ~It's H,~rl'.i!.lit fo~r And W~'fe.1 - q ])()wJ~" is n~t tD nse fl'D.m 111~ a.~I,~s,

FANZ[NE USTIIN("i..~

~I"l~~~ Dore,lIIese priee.a db MI. i~ct1~iI! ftt'l""$, UE:. ~Qf[jlllll, il","n.t!C'~",l j~ to il1l:i1l1!1c 29!;l f,or pO~Ia.~ ii.J1~ ~n SAE of ru:..:: 8PPJ'C>jlf.ia1e .IZI!,

THIl ABElil:DEBnROG'RAfI,t'M~ l!mrlEW rolf:! l<eviD ~~rli!>&, 46 S!l~r!i!:Jd Terr=, A:b!::r&~lI 1\112. I JD 5O,p

THE AB.SOl.llTEl Y NON·IiSSEl'IIIIAL HI!ElERNrAN SlJl'P()!HER'S HANlIDBOOK TANEHSH C~I~~, M~dbM\>lIi. ~O]lrl O'(joo;u~, CB.i!tmess KWI 4¥S£~

TIrE ANGRY CORRTe; (Mo:;.[q]~ilioecl'il1g)' H01I3B 4(!.. :I 10' S;mdi.ef~ld Rd. GI~ggow G~ OM .. 50j:1'

AWA Y ~'ROM IHIl NUMBERS(E~~t Are} I;fIJ M McColl, 60 ROO~~ 1M, (;h:;J]f~OO;, .H'iife [(V6 ul!N aDJ. CAN I IlRING MY DOG~ (li)iIJ'il~e lit<!) '* 3, Tile

.18

iHE,!'iI'!lS~n'U'. ~adl!>wb3.'It\) D BalKm. 2! ~[t1BRil. lMi.rgh '[H I'~ 6.5]-1 ~

TRUE "Arm (S!. Joon~)Ml~) 3Q Pdc~bBm 1'\1_ I..oodG!tI SW1 ~\Jl' :(1:

VffiW fflO"'! TIll; ROC''K,. 14, M~~ ~j]~ Bi(:m!l1ll, AI\ll(lmdrn.. Durn!J,;woo;n 68:3, 9Q,A, SOp..

WoiIn'lfl'lQ FOR 'miGRM.'U: ~I' FORWAlilD (Mo;lWf'!.Io'I!ill) .;1 .. lion (l;lof,lIeili., Mg~n MLl. 3DIE'. 50p

'WHO ~ DOWn HIaNR'li?' lEast Stirli~~ PO Bm 9:\ ~. fKJ 4AS 50p

mE WEll. (Qu~=,~,)Q'q 0. Mrnill. 1~2 T_nrull

R~d. Hwmitloo Mp

WENDY WHO '7 (Sl JDhD~tonc)POBm, M, ~ PH ~

lYIliOp ,

WHEN SII'ruRD:A Y COM~ ~Grmml) 4I~ f'Ioor, '2 ~'[-Iee C~I!H!, l.olJdon ECUl: lIDS £ I _jO

DAZ U:LTRA

Ga ry Ol:irver salutestJh,e mo.st lethal fiuisb,c:r in the histnl')' (If tha (Dew) Scottish Filrst Do,~visi,OD.

The new riay&/Coach o,f Ayr Unitoo,. Gordon D<l1',zjel, was Sootl.and'~ mMt

prul ific ,glJrusoor,eiF- yes, more so lhan YQU McCoist· during lihe, eight 5til:l;Olis he re,presetllted Haith Revers. Dalziel slgnajled the dissol utlon {If the C.(lUl:ltry'~" most fruitfu I partnership by throwing hi5 shirl to the erowd at the end of last season H was 11 poign~!1t gesl'llre., rem lniscent of Paul McS~ay 's 11 few years back - 'e<X!cept that, unlike the hu m il i!l.ted McStay, D~ sUClc:es~uHy found 11]1 ahemativc employer, 'Theparl.lng of plilly~r and dub is also 1.1 walCrshcdin Seoltishfootbal~: iI's alraost ~noolleeLvahli: that an)'one will in futlllre net ~,SlmLliI!r number ofgO.1ls - soma 170 for Raith in lesgue games alone -at one dub. and certainly not a provincial oae. In the etlmatc oflhe l 990:; and beyond •. m}' plrlyer !hal replicates Darz:i.~J' s strike ralc, however IlriefiY. will ~uicJdy receive an Q:ppO:rIiIlTiity at 3. ho;gheI kvel And tha:1 was [nt: paradox of Gordon Dalziel: statisticaUy p0C[1ea;S, iril Ilhe f rs~ divisiolllilm:lligh~m the iai£: eigh~ies and ear~y nineties, few believed' he DOuM em it at8 i rut beU>er qlmltry' oppOsition ~ a view !hat, sadly, he did little to dispel when R.8iil:hl tilla! ~ minoo Premier SnJIlilliS in l 993,. Suec=fu! ~ Dalziel was ,M S~'.s Park, he Ileva quite e:>l:orcised nlsprofl igme reputarien, IIcqui:rel;l, .iL\; he plummeted, w]1ti as~.o:nilihill:g haste, fmrn the RIInger.>' firSt team, to litll rnlIks of East StirJingrc.icctl;, And !hQugh II. prope<rIsity for deink is haroJly unique I:ImQngs~ Soottlsh foolib3l1eJ'S, d:'e:t.er.imating fltness lIitlu growungapaHl)1 wercsyrnptom~tie of it bdn.g 11 maj or Iaetor in h is rap~d decl ine; to lhis dlay, ITldI.eoo, .he n:!aim\, and. plays up kI. tile caric~~,e..

Fr.U'ru!kie Hay ...

GotdOlil DaJziel wi II, I IruiSt. remeom!)er frn:nk. Connorjn his prayt:rs. FntrIk signe.dI him for Raith on a :shmt·~~rm (:umraet in Spri.ng 1987; mUiSt pllTliter:s on the terracing were then clcser to miuch-fitfless than f)(llzie~, b1J~ a C~l!ldi of goals helped Wh1 Raith p.T,omOliontlni:l himst:lf a stay uf execution, Co:mnm put his warn. through II. punlshin;glraining pmgramme.. lticking D<I[ziel 's backsice around Stfil1~i1d)'de Pari; t1troughoul. the SUI,uner~ Gmdo:tl •. ably assiS'ltd by Colin H mis, [cwlIrtk:d ConMr by b!::oomin,g fu~, first di""is[ol1' S leading OCOTilr the fo:Uowil1lg !*laSon, The rcst, as they &II}" ,is hi~tmy: aC(:ompanied by a v:ll'ie~y of ~Ilriki ng par!m~rs, H'('Iirn the sulllime Crniig 9 re\\O:stef 10 Ul~ ,ill iClIllJU15 Enc FergUSOIll, D<lz wenl on tu rcl ic\'e WiWe PenmaJll of his 40 y,eru- old! club gooi$OOring record,

By oomplere ronb":ls~. all earl:ier 51npo'!.l'er at fLrhiH wa_~ his nadir: tern v~ars nfl, P;:crt~d: '!'h i.s-tle SLlppo.r!f1'S ~ unl ikel), p~ U~r~ u f reet.itudiE - s~in talJ,l1~ him ove, Ii is exCess;L ve quaffilllg; ~ike\",ise, Gordon seldom wasWs

an oppo:rtuililylo ;!;,ignai. mutual eentempt. ]1'I:~er~tingly> though, [ recaltseeilll,g 111,isl:l e lose Oil Bayview around 1985, wul w]:lite Dalziel WiI:S l1imsdf w,unnUilg oopopular.ily contests, the bc[cn~J'~n~ for mestPartlck fDlS was the ~mnbe:rlng Rod:dCt' HutchisollL, who seemed c;,ul:!ble Of unwin ingto exeicate IlLmseJ:f from the CMtfi; circ.le,

NQl1ed1e!~{ls, :it's easy to im~Llle Gonion Df<!Iz.iel as a hale figlllrt in ,il, struggling team, On the m,ercifuliy rare oceasioas lih:3!t ~Raitb kli~.ed mUll, Tht~;;iel. :stLlH"e:r'roa goal drou~1, he 'ofirm struck an ~I1difrel:el]t, 1111111:051 craven figure, .gwd I'Ig IlQpen":lly towa!'ds the sid:eiines as h.is~eo!'!)owned second-half limp DCCillfllC ever more prcnoaaeed,

Jimmy Nicholl W!lS: a~ways eq~;,Iivoc .. i ~{liwrutls his ~eooil1g seorer. The mru1ag~![ had eecasion to' qu~tion Da~z;[d' S oV'ilmH 'COIIIlrubl.nio]]a!Jld made vanous attempts to' repla;c.e h~m, employing a~lemalli'!.l'es as dive.rse <IS A l'aJlll MaeKie;llz,ie, Md Stevie Crawford, And de-spile DiJ!Iz.id bein@ unemployed -or was itunemplo_y.able? - oO!lIttiucle oftno game, NichoU did nul in il i~ l.Iy ,otTer r:h~, ~trik{i ful]"l irne OOnIlS. poilllt~d.I~'

The events of the Coca Cola 'Cup fi na.1 rep'r:es'enled a m~croC!os,rn of his ,conlradiidory Calli"eier.

19

re:strichng~he (loolra.ct:s to "{ltos~ wJUJ would iJemlfit"., Yet ill. spite (!:i' these aspeesions, ]~ mrny [ater ~o<intedll:l tm sklpp;er! Clearly. for m<!fl.ager a.n:d supporters lIhke,gripcll over Dalziel" s absence uf pace, pom lou.ch and j nf1llriat~llg indolence beeame churl i sh set against his frequent, extraordinary ilmsls of

goa lscoring, fOf wlticill:l1e man' S in:stin~lll simply defied r.nrona:l aTl!a~ysi s,

Living in l1iBox

Gordon Dalzlel may have had! I ittfie to affer beyond Ine confines of' the pell.arly area, but like a! ~ gQa~-h>m!lers he revelled in a team creating mere th.an .iIS, share of scoring Oppol1.ll!l1ihes. eonscqu.endy, he found his niche ill a censlstenrly competent first division side; so. wbOle Dalziefi was und.oubtL'ldily gwd for R .. ilih. Rio¥e-rs 'Were, !Ii]'gualbly, even be~tef fothrm. He' lIpoga:, bein,g beth IfIc division.'s to,p scon~f ami Player of tliic Year iin. Sout:Cessive Sl1a'ilOns, ewed muoo to ili:e P:~ofl1V1i ngs of Craig Brewslei!' and rmer Hefrterst:o:ll, thougb the PFA's d,ecis:lontOo :reougiliS'!: DaIZ~olllliJ::IInot Brewster fur his I.lpnpl11lflic 92:l3 SeasOIl Wall 5tIrcly cause for 11 ju.dida:~ inqlliry"

U was, apt M:tM Inc one 'oolil:stanl, th:wlJ:ghout 'tlle club's renaissance sheuld, ~I1 his f:ina~. season. Ileocorn,e the rim: Rovers captain t.o, Koe.ive a majer trophy. l8]gcly anonymous ttilrouchoutl!h.e Coca-Cola. Cl!lp Final, it wa~ Dazza who tta;nsfom1.ed Raith fans ~nw lUlilatics with his Ia:te etjllilli5erbut tI1en s~,inked off to avoid particlpadng in the p~iJalzy s.noO'ft-OIlll. The afl£moon's events mpI-e:!len~ a micmoosm oHlis cOl'IU'adictory career,

Despite scoring in llJine cOfl~euti'i'\e matches <!rol.lD.d 'Ute tum of the yew, tlJe emergence of Q.aw ford increa:s;.~ngly jO(lpardlili.~d Dalziel.' s pO'.!>ititifi la.5'I. season: at O]Icpo!nJt he was more f![..eqll~tly partnering De:~ek Jd.hinslone O:rl Sportsoe:noe. than AUy ur,aham ~n the ROJVers' ",uac'k. :FiMil1!gij1, Graham's end-ef-season ~uspefisi(!J:I al~.owod Dalziel 'ro rerum for the crucial fixJrurcs andaceerded

h lm me oppormnity to 'bid! fi3!l'ew'eU by

d is~obillig an the pitch and not in. the stand, RilithlRQ".ers win net experieru;,ehis like a_gain.

Dalzici regard's .hls :posu~i.nn ::1iJt Al'fas a st~ I'Owards mall!;l:g.e.metlt. though there ·canbe few iess hk.e~y 'C8Ii!diidatJes :fOr a sheepsbn jilc,ket tlJiIJI Gallllls Gordon. But ~mmodil:llely. n's .[}az;rn>s goals ndherlhtm mach Lnglhal mI,!1lt j IIIsl revive his, I1ew oos§'s tlagging reputation_ Now that Gordon Dalziel ~s bill cillhoo~ witll S! m.olll Slaimoo.lihe fOO;tilaU a1 Some!'Se~ Parkm:ay not necess<!.fH)' ~ mpmve. but [ l'l<I7..ard tha~ Ille social life wiH ta.k.e 11 definite Iii.! m fOf the ben~r.

onCE Urpon n TimE 1ft AmIERIOI,

The Best WorEd Cup I\'ioncy Can Buy by Ed Horton

The Best World Cup Mone'y Can Buy TAG Readers Offer

If you would like to. obtain a copy of Ed HOilto~'S book} copies arc available from TAG at aspecl,S!l offer price of £7.,50 incltlding p&p. Please £i1110 the order form opposite and send 11 cheques or postal order made payable to TAG.

ArfirSl ilmight seem unusual for a book about the 1994 World Cup finals to appear a year after the event, wigen the excitement, the drama and (he g~ab ha ve all but furled from the memory. But Ed Horton is the l~.test warrior 10 sally forth to do battle w irh tho forces of darkness currently assai Ii 'lg the game, IIlld 1I1e USA World Cup uS merely the anvil on which his critical sword has been hammered UFilto shape. The very fact

The 1994 World Cup was subverted and subordinated to the requirements o.f people wi th noO' i nte rest in football.

that the World Cup look. place in America, 3. countr v not Il hlherio known for its devotion to lhegame, but cemillly known f?t its ijmitle$S capacity 10 gener;lJle massive arnOUilis of cash, is a gudseodi for the author's theerles. As might IDe guessed from the slyly sarcasrlc title of the book. Ed is far from being an <lposUe ofthe' free market' and frc:qllenUY refers to himself as <!lleny'. Thus, under th~ general umbrella j)hlu: World Cup, criticism is levelled :It corporate 5ponsms~lip. eommercialism,

te le v qsion, political and soeiel corruption, racism, j ingoislillJ, natienalism ~nd a host of other' isms' wh i ell it would be too bming for me to detail,

Ed contends that one way or another, all of these threats to the game have their 1"001 ill

%ewotfa CUp of 1994 attd tiie wor{J of/oot6.a[{

'Eti,Yiottou

!:hE love of, Or lust tor, money. Anyone who has ever fGh disgust fit the way Lil \vhich fOcolbO\l1 has been redaeed to a series of balance sheets !lind profrt, and IO;5s aceounts w lll enj 0)' the w~ in wh ichl11J.e author systematicafly trawls his way through the effluent eurrenny pouring from football's sewage pipes. The blatant and insidlous shift in emphasis whieh has made businessman the siar players in the game of footil<ill is one of the principal demons witll \vhich Ed HOi1Oll wrestles, IHhe book has a central m~sgage ~llS probably contained in the p.assag,e which reads, "7 here are umok: s~lms Qf !llorwy wailing 10 be mode f~()m fOQtball, Supp.()rM·g P~{ the money there. Everybody else gels' to I,c,lk.e it o~r, No/).ady pay~ for ji;Jotball- except Uti". But does he who pays the piper get ~o' call the llille'? Are ),Oll kiddin~, pal?

Selling The Game [Down the River) At the beginning or tile hook Ed points out ohm it is a TV watchers account of'the

W orld Cup. For ressons of cirt:umstaI1Ge, malnly econom ic, he, like most of us, could only consume the ~994 World Cup via tile carhedc ray tube, That fact leads him on naturallv 10 consider tile role wh i ell tdeiVisio,tl !lOW plays in the game, As television is the most powerful medium, it has an !lImoS!: unfLllite capacity to control and regulate people's perception of the world Which us why television ad\'elltisillg us so potent, That potency is used by commercial interests. to sell their wares.

NatltnU),. lhey want the bigges! possible audience of consumers. F 00100.11,

because. of its universal appeal, call provide the desired eaormous

I audience. Rup~:rt.

MUI'doch understands this trite concept readily ,enoug11. When it comes tu c1<plo.iting foorball's elemental popularity the Sky is literally the limit. Ed thus observesthat modem televised football is in reality merely a link between advert breaks. He s!lys [hillt il~ actual purpose is net to promote football, but to sell consumer goods,

Even a nominally publi~ service bro\3dca~ting network ~ike the BHe cannot avoid displaying the multifarious track. side hoardings and sponsored shirts, and cannot avoid referring 10 !he Coca-Cola Cup or the Watneys Red Barrel Premiersh lp or whatever the fuck they are now called. A number of y~rs ago my brother and I were si tting M no me watching an Old Firm CIIlP final of some sort on STV. Being ill pair of fairly sad

characters we were

20

TIit Wtkpublla.ied .~ide-e.n'e.cl.\" Ii! MarodOlI(j '1$

aaUitI/!(.'1f with. ~phf!dri'~?

simultaneously lis~enil\g to Radio Clyde's commentary (lin the same game. At

half- time the TV screen was inevitably full of adv·e:rtising breaks. There earse a poim wllere visl.IlIny we were being treaeed to the wonderful user-fr~endl)' qualities of Faury Liquid while 01111" auditory senses wid usthat the s-econd half'had started, Fuelled by all understandab le grievanecand lou much electric soup, my brother lifted 1110 phone and d ialled through to Cowcaddens where he' complained loudly and ubscenely (0 the receptionist about the oatrage of adverts . taking precedence over the game, The girl on the other end of the phone was t01ally unehased by ['his drunken hamngue and prod uced one {If ~he llI'uJy great ptu-down lines viz;;« Wi.r:h>Oj~1 rir.(!. adverts there womd be n~ televue'd f(}olb~JI Now bugger q:f}", This p.iiliy aphorism is, unlbru'HlalJ:ely,.thc depressing truth, And it' ~ only a sma 11 step from Ihere to the current situation wbere TV (le corporate advertisers) d i,ctate that games ::Ire 10 be played on FridaytMone!ay nights and Sunday afternoons, regardless of the

v iews of ~he sup(l{ln,e,rs who actuallY go to these gillmes. In tile context of the World Cup, Ed poiats out thlit many of the mat~hes were playcd at the hottest rund most humid parts o.f tile day, fo, the sole rcascn that 'European tdevisLOl'l (le co.rpmal.e advertisers) demanded it. to f l in with their peak v i,ew~ng schedules, Sk:p fOi'WlIrd . Jack le Charlton and his bags of wotta, It requires 110 j magLnarl:iolI at 1111 ttl see that the qUillity o[J:ootball, some of the results, and may be even the frnal outcome were thus affected. [01 other words, (he actual event was subv'crted and subordinated to the requirelllents of people \!fith no interest in football,

League of Nations

Having ~ot thL~ gripe offhi5 chest Ed turns ~Q the way ill \~hkh patriotism turns to'

n~U ionalism and tllleIDI to xenophobiain tile context of inremarional s:portiTig cv~01LS. This is 11 complex. RTetI and 9Hhough Ed's opi nions arc rational and welt argued, J found myself disagreeing with much of' what he had 10 say, He uueres extensi .... ely

It's h3Jrd ro see wilily die rnst of U~e world should be depriived of the ex~dternen1I m intf'!irna!lional €lOlillllpetitmon jus! lbemuse one' muntry abuses everyone else' wileII'! lit doesn't get its 'IllWn way"

froID a Gemg.c On.vd~ ,c;s~ay, 'The Spooftill:g Spirit' ,!O re<ldl !he o@lIIdmiOTI IDatlh~[c is !lDlIDe~hiIl!£; iru:Hlliely ulldesimb~~ in inrematianal ~;pt)rti..goolll1pe~ihorns,. because o:fthe amount of ~Il-willlky gJmeratt), O.rwcH IDougjhl thill, In~e1'tl<!iUion<l1 :fOo<tbal1 was war mmus lhe shooting, ~ftltis is l;iJ'Ue, Ill.en 1 s:ay~e cheers. ~ 'm much more comion:abfe' with K.li IlsmimTi ~nQQ1ing a ha] I attht: Secttish goal th~ll with Hitlershoot:i ng a bu~ let arI: my .head_ U would be fuh~e ltl prelendni1al excessive natienalism cannot rapidlly hml ugzy in '" S:llIOrting oont,ex1~ However, as both George Or\Jj.fd~ ruJld Ed B011"{iI1 C01l1Cl observe at flrsthand, Ib:e ~~ndc:nt;y for ]egit:imOi~ patriotism to mclam0l"iJlnose into, hideous xe,noj:ihobia is seem illlgl)' rnlJl.cn more pronauneed in Eo.g[and than any\lO'ht':re else inthe world, That IMt sentence prohably makes me gumy of the kind of racial stereotyping wh ich Ed condemns as an offiihoot of iU!:11011a3 isn~.

But my pairu isthat alnh.ouglil I .haveo~e[l fell bjt1eu' d [sappoi ntmem at the defeatof the Soottish lerun, [ hay'e never fell1he meed to causermy physica~ harm ~owrutl;li. repfe$ol1:m1tativcs of OIlI UppOJleJlIS. Nor dol view tl defeat 0Ir1: foo~'b;ill as same sa:r:t of i.fii£ult tomy OOUl'lllj' Of its cull\.lre. rn dnn't think: that ~hcn:' 5 many peeple in Scotland who view span as an excuse fm race WlI.l"", and al1iY that 00 <l!l'e 01.1 ~ea.dy psycl!iallriCllJIy

m in the first plaee, l believe Hmt most people wm~,dl·l,'o'ldc are cflIpabJe of c.h~riFlg 'their' ~OU!'llllJ'IDe-rl in iru!:emalionalspor1iqg comp~titiotl w~tIl0lJl sin~l! hapeo!.lsli)' developing a hatred (llli:teir opponents. ~ f it's ~n:!]:m~sihlii: for thaI: to happ~n in Enghm<l Ihen tbat' s~hejT ha:rcl1iIli::s~ [don 'tlihink ~!Mt !he blame C8II be laid aa Ute dooJ:' ,of sport_ Debella ... i(mr Qf~m:c: En,gH!>h. IN=oplc: ina SPtl.lli:n~ ~(mte~t alllwst e:xa-ctly m!rrors tllt: aMiludc.li d~mom:sttated.by theil' political ~JElIders 0111 the worM l>iil_ge, Orne: need MIl' look a.t~he IlIl11mi:J.er of1irrn£s 1Tt~ (8I'1glish~d.orni nl;l!telil) UK govemrne:rll hatl Hnrnditself in. 8 minority of one ~n ills d~1ing with its Be p:aril:ne:.rs. The implied S1.!~H.exl is 1IIway~. 'We'reno-t going ltl be pushed around by these K mUJnS, FmgJl,

Wops and Dagoc;s', Df!!~,e J suggellt!hat the problem lies in [he Engli15D pSyche nuhe'~ than wilh spOIl_ .It's hard to SCI': why !he'resl (If the \VQrtd ~hcrl,lld be deprived afthc e)lciremenl of LllIlern::IJtional cornp>e:tition.i usl, m.ecause one cl)"untny ab-u&eS everyolll.e er~c ~.ne[l it doesn't gel ilS (I\,,'n wary.

A~b.~e McPb~rso:n SpHf My

htfinitive

M(lIh.or facet ,of rocnoplulbia, .us d ~SCiUSlied :i n the, ~~tion dealiIlg with TV cornme:nliU.Ors, Of 00l1l'i'00, moSi. oofili.c TV m(lTI an:. grade A pratts :and it's easy fur Ed to poirnt lOa ~cl~c.Hon of appal! ung foot-ln-i'he-omoulh raei~t s.11Ir'S mOlS"1:uerad i.ng ash!.l:tnorOIJlS rommell1tar;' {"lites!:; KOreMlS an look the ~e 1.0 m~" etc etc). More ,a,ml!Slng1y, Ed quotes. extensi .. elj' from An:hi.e

.McPhef'SOtl·s pelfomlilmoosin the USA_ I'm COIlS~IDItiy BmllW:(l1 Umt II pErson w.ho 'l!Ises lilnglU.ill~ iJ:l~iI1!: reckk:slily carvll~ier l,yay which Archie does h~ ever IlIana.g:ediw get aj ob i1~ al], far kS5 ane in the 'co:rnmllfiicati~~' illdustry, One fairly t,)lpicaJ. e](amLI~e whuch Ed d:r;u~'s attention lO is when Arth le said, "'The !'IUc:l!ellS (If the G~ree.k side lS bui~t around IPlli'Ilhanaik:.os",

Ed! observes s.ard.m1icaHy !!hat the nucleus is urn fact the ce:nl!rallOOl1~, YoQu bui ~d arol,lfld il • andnot ,""iae versa. This is vnUju.s.t smm.·fl"rSe irnte.lI.ec.tual m.cering for mil sake of it. The ~doo~~ poiJ'lIl ~~!blll: :mucll (If what Archie an<I.hls colleagues say is IHe.,a~~y meaningless" We in Scot!and have ktlow.n for years mal: A~ooie has been the I.earling e~PQ!lenl oflhe "he's only had OJH} kkkat the baU il1l.clWlat was. a header" sc11:eol Oil commcrntatin.g_ I'm pleased! thaI, he mad~ such an impact on Ed Horton when.he was let !oo~e, on !!he ullIroemational audience \i'ia sa!eU.ile TV. .6d fu:Mtte,r quotes Mehie as sayin:g, 'IGooim;? Good qu:c.stiOJ.lIru.l sl.u.ellllerrt". h need 1l!~ly be s:ridllhat ANhie was not t,11khtg aboulJi: h.i!l'lseJf;

Pure Murder

AUhm.!gh Ihere are moments of tlllat type of humour in tliJeDuok, much of it is oolfillnIIY lIt all. There ls a chapter entitled "Who Km~d Aru:k~$li)ie:()b\!1r?''' which·1 s among lht: most pal.llirully distUie,;ssit\g pieces ,of ]'ooIMI jcumalism wh~ch ['eve read, O\i!ts~.de of~ht: reports OJ1l Heysel, Hi.lbibo:rtl1.lgh. anil, lilr.ad'fbrd. ln my GWIlI article on the WorM Cup tn TAG 39 [ made only a tleeli!'l_:g referenceto Escobar's, murder because, l:"!r:ankl)',. [just: couldn't face up 1.0 the dire;ltdfu.~ fac£!ih.:JJtafiootbaU. player hadbeen :shl),t to deatll a:pparenUjI because he' (j SoCoxed an uwngo!1l~, MMY of Ed HOf'lon'slll'l.emes. coalesee In this chapter

and he is liIMe to make a

fair~y convincing case for his co.lilC:~usion that "moil1ey', ,!11 one way or (Jl!Orh~r,iWhelher fire greed f(JFw.~aith or till! aespermian' o/p,aveJ'ty, coltllpired to km A.ndJ'ru' ~cohaY'. ElSewhere Ed contwts th.e m,e<lb feeding frenzy which followed im. the wake 'of MarOOGllIlI'S ~phedrune bu~ with the .almost oomp~e~e lack of follow-up Om. Esoobm's death ..

TAlG in 'f;av0~_:r,afbh: bookmview' shock

horror

ntiS far in Ulis review I.'ve focused on wme of the major the1'iles whith ~~lIrnn the Iilook. Els-ewh.ere. Ed ml!ls~ on nOW alld whl' t(lothal~ ha~, bocomel1 wmid!-w~det:ulturt. cO.li'Isiders tile impa.CJt ®f f~:nes iln.G 'llIew' foo~'ban WTritirng_ Ill"Qvi.d\1:s pouted .hist{)d~ Oil S!Mldi Arabi:m. Nigerilm and Greek roo~baJJl, d)emo!lst~te'S 110w pOli.ticiims hj.-jacik:

fO!ll~ban for!!hei; Qwn glQrmCalIol1!. ponde-rs 011 hQ'WU!e ] 99~ W(!r~d Cup w,~1 ~ be reganl.ed Ibyhistmians, :s;uggest5 tn:illl: we stop p'.~ayi[l,g l1:Mional anthems before matches (a good ldea which seeomed tohillve been spontaneously ado;pn.ed by the m!th.o.ri~ies at Villa Park prtOtlCllile ~¢cent B[azii I·Sweden match tllIer,e, when:littey discovered thai the reco.rdI s~ecy.c mark'!':d <Brazili:m Natll[l:na~ Anthem' ac.tl!laHy CQI1!la:ined 'MMtoVaf!~ p~tays 20 Great Gmnge Hits from tliIe - Ei~lics'), ce!ebl1'll:c:s. ani: mOmernill!Df ~!iiCe:nd~.ml skill dlisplaJ}i'ed.~rn the USA,

lays the 000l i!'lto SHvio Bertusoont bemoans (he drabness ofthe World Cup fiinsJ, and, as an enoore, pisses an 11]¥'CI - Ma:nche..~er Ul'lited. Despite hi.s ~ com.p1ai.l11S he also, finds timekl i1Kmn eo,~d.IJY andlresoll1ltcly tliM. 'fOOlDa.I~ is [ien and ~.Ifu enh:mc.iing: footban is woJ1hwhL~e'_ AB otitis i5 packied inlll I.'H! IholJlgnlF]lrovo.k~ng and e:n~ortlli[lin.g P1I:!l.c:!l.. l thornu,ghly enjoyed II and would encal1rng,c Y01,li an ~l) :read it _ Sut be warned. Uldm<Jltely. much of tile book is depressitlg, because wh~le ~d identifies th~ Vandals at the gates, he doesn't real ~y .hold. our much hope that th~ CM be resisted, W1l.e-il~ Nei I Yom:'lg released hisl.P <Toli'lighfs, {!I,e Nijghl' rule .te'l'ie:'Wef attempted! 1.0 capEl!re .now bleakly harrowi ngil was hy saying il\VO!ll.~d ap;peail w those who liked to li~~n to Leonard! Cohelll tn the dark l1his book wi~ ~ appeill to those who like to 1 istM to 'To.ni!:hfs tile Ni,ght' iathe tlru-It.

.. . . Alastair McSparMJ:i

The Be!l!t World Cup MOlley Can. Buy is iI;1o'aiial!Jle ft,um SpoltSp~e~$ Mwtchesruet and Lendon; Foyles, Lon.d)oll; Dmons, Glasgow; Aichways Pro!Hotiorul, Ed i Alternativc.ly, seethe readers' page opposite,

OIl the

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Having difficu]iI;y in. proClll':ing your copy of TAG? N f!eding to stock up on blotting pl\lper?Wantmg a lle]escope W heEp you read the F is fOI'f'a,gUme5 page? A 6 issue subs,cciprion. wilr oon~ 3iU these problems aed gIllSimt:iLliee you even less co,V'erage of Gazza, than you~e likeLy to 8lee.n ill 'Country Life' Qr~The Invesnets Chron~de' Th¢m~s :au 'l.1K.£,6; Eire & Europe £8; Re51. of the Wodd:C):.z

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UP']ease s,lar! my su.bscriptioowildli$sue rtUlmhcr .... ][ wou]d also .!:ike I .a]t!ernatively I wolldd lilie

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I endose'3 cheque IPoSU!1l Order [,01 [, "--"."" .. ""

Hai I Emperor G azza, the new hero OF the Cal0dani!ltl. Na~.i.rm ~ Already !he ~hy and re,tirLng m b:lfterd genius looks set to make biggest impression Oil nilS msrvellous ccmnlry since Godfa[her Anl"Onine and his mOD furt:w up 8. tllr.f~bll uit wallaround K.irkHmiHm:::b to launder profit" from their pis!<J£hio stl1lu~glln_g opej',~tion a few years back. And Wl1.at wonders he IS daing lor the

fashi om sen~e ,ofthe Sooli!ish ~

J:1!I11f'LpenprolelariM! E"'erywhere one gees one observes men, women, children and pil bull teeriers sportingthe nany

.. gueSt s- who~liI@.d·an·accide;Jn .. whelll.they.wa:lk ed-under-a-peinter's-ladder?" Gau.anaircut Even Vida.~ Sassoon seemed! imprcslScd by

the man's common touch as he !rimJlled my Own 'tender :loll ides lilt: other dillY. GasiCO.LgIllC'·s arr:uloIal L~ of course great news for s.cOULStil footbalL Bllt more im.portatnl.y

it is even bel:tc:r news for IJI]d It being imp=1 blc fur we Italians to keep a splcmdlio secret.you will atready be aware thet.l have been i !!yited by my good frte-nd S I ivio to present a SEUinuaymoming magazine ~mgrarnme "Gosso. D~ Fitba' Sco!!ia" on

his rollu1ar No. 44 Ch<mlllel to brl ng you all

It WaJ;S a'~w,ays Mr Mag.oo's splendid [intention that Celtic'sgames would

() n Iy be availab Ie' on CID'-R.omfmm now O'mI.

the 11I!tesi. news, views, oommeTIls iilld LoOO·Fm·ry se!lnda~s :from Scotland, w.ilih p~njcu].~; emphasis. on theam~able Geordie him:jdf,~n k.t:cpiltg with my j~on-oclf(;5~i.~ traditioillS expect a hast of grnuncl':breakimg ~nl1{IVartIQns wh6'fl~h is I1Il aj or .mecl I a event hil's your screens sho.rlly. n.!: sple:ndi;dly Q~nglrn31 formarl: win snail off witlil 11 ffiu;nd! ... up of all the important [ne ldents and talking peims fronllhe p.l'e'Viol.!s week's m~]lol,ls hemi.erLeagu,e card - yes, indeed, extended highlights of the rn.al-chfearurifllg whoever R<!!I1.gers were "laying_ We wWtl'!elll move em to C'1,wer the rrogll~s f.iifSOOlhma.'s represe.t'llm l ves in. 'the CI'Hlmpiom Lea:gue (whoever Ijh~yrnl,ght be), foHuwe(1 by my ow,n sp.r~ndid.lJ' lacoTlic review of me week's P<lPefS wh kh wW be II I mea L!'I a "'arne!)' of ~~iof1 ~ Gffer'i!'lg a sur!eit of ooltl.pell illig ambienee sech ~s the Gents toi lets ill !he Shotts N o. 7~[n· .. a·:row Lodlg~ or the 'queue for the celled ailI~. in Or-aekcrll 99p slJDI"C im MethiLlhe p~eoe de resistal1ICe wm of coms-e he lite, in~erview with GaJ'.z~ - tho9!l (If you who .are pemilpiS lack.~iigl'l MHe

cOn [idi!:nct llil }'Qur lin"~u ~S~i~5ki Us, fei:lr no~, ] will tr:lll.slate w.natcv,er he says imo Engbh. The SJlOW W 1.1l close winh arunh~!I" b~lch of edited 11IIghl igl'lil!i oo,ve~ing Ih~ Rangers reserve, 1'QU!Jl1l and kin de:~g;lj~i1I teams be$ore signing 0 IT w~th :a s[Jl'ecial s~gJlal:U~e rune the mtl Ui-taleIl!.ed Gazza !las recorded .for u·~ cilHcd "Drizih:: On the Clyde"', A word of wilmlnghowever, Bewaru pale imhations_ My deep Huml. neUs rne~h.a!. tllO~ Ilugget headedp]ag.iarus~s

Bruno Clanoilla Writes

at S(Otl LSJ] Television m,e: already conniving to broadeast a football p:muammi1: bearing a remarkable fCSlIl:mb lance til< my 'OWIlI. A[:iparemly it is ~o be called "Scotsport",

A Y(lid ~! all costs!

N at ~o he outdong UIlI the limeljght s~akes G~asgow'~ No_ 2. dub have been making waves (If their OIINfIacl"O'SS, Europe, Yes. Partick Th~sUe e~rlili.in~y ililtracled many

arlrn irees irlJ 1iu,c:i:r bra.ve bid to 1aSI.e Ihe sweet success of .~Ilt.er\. Toto Cl.lpgl or; wecenUy.

As rabio Cape;Uo saldlO me overa I:iUp' of netHe tea. followitl.El tt'lt::Lr IIstoTiishing deruolitlon of kelandic giants K,~f1avik - "Bnmo this musl be fUlIUre footba~l, Never :DeTore nave I ever seen oo}'om: plifj' ~ ike Albert Cl1:Ilig or SIJr.:VI: P:iU.mllin",

Meanwh i le plucky litl~e Ce~lac seem d'estined for more grem things !his sC'lI5(1n. u:nde.r lJiJe dymamic leadership of LOUgh talkin!:l, ferglJi.s Mt:Carrn" Yd still the amiable Canadlan findl~ himself subjectkl hO!T~bJ.e; asides from the gunersnipes, Tak.c for it'lSlilinct tI1t: 3 00 Bi~hon pound refurbishment of ParkJ'LL~3d which he h@s bQldIly illiitiated. Some. cleves d tob hrl.'Voeii tilat there has been a sple.ndi:[d ecek-up im. the design in IiI:ta!t ~hl!:re are IlO radl:hies for T,V, earaeeas - $l!Irn C~leap j itles are lJoe)'oJ:'ld oontempt as their peQletrntors k.now wcH (I1at it was ,~lways Mr Mag(lo's im.t~t~o:n (hat Cc~tic>s g.amcs wouldGllIly be available on (:l)·Ro-ln from m}W OIl.

HI..I~ his iiIItJ.bititltl.sp~:[If]:S do not end there. Ohae. Soon he hopes to introduce the Celtic "V urrua:ll{eaiity' kit which enable

the lrfuns to see- dlIe loveable Blloys win J league ma~cllteil rn a WW, qllMi fy fOT 'the (1,lHIJilc;r timals of 8 liOaj;or European Cup t'lom.pe~.tion aJ1Id Brian M<ctau;gh~ I.n W d.i reel II cross inllIl the opponellit's penal,!), b(11'1.

On-e ha~ ~o oonfellsdJat even for Ol1e as supremely OOlllllUler IileratY; .aIo'. me: HillS seei'IlS ~ litHe' far letched, but Mcl"1:mn tixcrll me with s!lIc.n 11 5fody gtarc Ihm1lf;h diose chillffilill:gfis.h,.eyc lcmeSlhat [was ~eft ~,n no d![lubms abollt hi s CCitlV.icli~:n that ~he technology WQuM soon ·tIe availab~e tv make till is pQ-ssible.

Disapp(liinhng to team. ofthe cOrn'Lptls;rti.olll of Sir Ernie Walker's TIl[JJpe.rnrare party 'lQ

save lh~ soul ~f SG()tti~h F ootoo[J, PersiSlent I"l,ImOIlr"S abcll.md Um~ one oUts nllmtw:r, II. cerlainMW1in Rose, js aninriJw5LUT "",ho in l'eti!IHy l$ in factI! SUIlPurtcr, S.hOll td there

be c",e.n1 tile merest hi m tha[ the-Ie .is

.n

substanceto this allegation, Rose mll.~ do tile hQn01.lmb~o Ihing lIne! resign with

immed i~!e effect. There is no place lor scruffy unwashed plebs ~tl~ the runn ing of~he SCQlt~~'h game, Ne¥e'f nas been. N ever will be, Truly I am sU~Tised fit this lapS!!: in Sir ernie's U1oJ'lnaUy Staline .. ~u.e ~[Il'errilgalion procdllres,

Then IDere is the <l!ppooinlm.enl. of Rinus Michels. As orne might rightly aslk Rinus; Vliha? Apparently h ls background islli.8t he has been the: 1Manager of a suecession of failed Dutch tearas overthe pas~ 2~ decades. Ant] what. could the Dutch pO:'l5iMy teach. the 1II1-collllJ:uerlng SO(iIS in aJify case? The only tame !h.t: h ... ·(I, countries h,we met in a game of 1I9y oonseql1e:n.-ce - th.il~ meUifiuGus i!.u1I1lmna.i eloi'eni!'lg in Mendoza in 197 8 - I. witnessed Any Mcuo-d's Wllnde~e-~m deSlt{'y chcir opponents with a bh~~CTillg display ofall milt ~tt:ac.kin.g skills and Soune~s--Ied stee]. Curiously the aseancrules ofth<lll ye<l!rs' World Cup fOlilals rne!llllt that H was the Orange C lnggers, \",hh a betlcr goal differefl.ce. who qualified for the later rom-uls: rIIlhC>rnh:an tin: Scots,

A.rnd. 'W".he~~ oh w11~re is!he pJa1O'c i.hat shou 10: h<l1.le bt:en reserved .ror my old dining comp:mi(ln W allace Me~ .of coursethe pll blicity ~hy fimess fanatic has never been one tol!rUmpet his own aehievernenes, bm surel}' no-om: has forgotten 1I1nmdy his marvellous achieve.ment j n taki ng the once moribund Heart of M td lethian pic by Ill!:: scruff of.he neck <ll1!d elev a ting them to

their rightful place <!is tliie .lrdbi.ggcsi team in the whole of Edimbur~'] Ruainurs, no doubt borne of wi !<'h.ful. !hunki ng, ~ugges~

that Men:er· maybe GO.nside;illg a comeback all) l1e<iudgeo:n Pruk., I w(JuM counsc] @S;lil1st the Gorgit: pUJ1Jlemnis raisinglheir hopesteo hugh however - ~liIrel.y, after <)11, the~e is a limit ~o lne num ber (!if hours of I!!fI,~atid ,~abulJr any man can be expected to give t.o charltable co-uses: (IlO matter how pitifl!l~.the,y may be) h] his Metillle'!

U nti~ IIext month, ciao!

;[['8 IDe beand new TAG AlJi'y l\dacJood T-shin. The se Alrgtr.l.l:i.na. "t 8, n!gh tmare s have never seemed so go~d ...

.AvW]ahle in white, b]ack~ blue and gre;en.xLmily. Pdce: £8.00 (inc. p&p) o:r [.7.50 ifYQu'lea ThG sliliElSicrilbe'r __

DtI.r'fAG

R~ Ih~ t AG sUn>ley. I've pm i~l ill.l' answers but [ felt in S0llIC CllSCS a hlt of ~d:grotmd. and mm on the bones would De helpful to you. Li!Ji3lfalIOlitrite dub ·-1 don't know w~y l hate Partick.Thi5H~ ::;{I much- it's II feeling sh:a~d by m<my Ki rrm~mock ~li!ppcrrtsrstho~gh. 1 cerlalni)' 00 mol have, 21. ${If! :>poOt fur the Jags and 10 make m:3tte:rs worse I.hey'vega! !in iml:lltio,g!y good reco~d~gaJIlSl my 101_ NewsJXiPr!f c-lJW!Fage - l!lllly view theoverall ~1.rmd~RI Qf m·verilige is ~b.oolute crap, be ittlle SUR, R?(:C¥UF Herald - or for dULl: malkr th~ Kilmumod S~F4! Dividing coverage inlo 2. parts, le mateh reports. 3:Il.d \O'eek.day biWkYOilmdi my cemmcmsare:

MaiM Repol1s; These = frequendy rim:llecl wi91 s:poeUiJ,_,g mis~cs and Oft~1I CaIJIlOt ~1 die :;imp1el;t (If filiClS ooro:et, eg, who 'MIll

booked, even who sco~dtlle gCiais_

}'c:w repom even make :lll :mem~lro ~i!mmtlri:;A; ili~ game, in 8JJy S>!JJ'iI of

b;;Il~~ W~l. 11:tll~ is, moot seesn to be wriUen as 'tliau&h (i(l'lly ooe team took part. :rJ:u~ is !he case. 'el,'eIl. ~.ftbe Old firm are n()t. invQ~vOO,

Weekday Background: Generally, thi~ ts made IIp (If''Ex,cilJsi,VC!;'' that t~Mrn

ootoo be ho;pe&es::s3)' w1de {fif!he ItUtI'I_

E",en Ih~ ~C3i.IIled qu:llhy p~~rs>

jOllmo:; seem tnc~pable ofwnting

coh.e.rent wtkles abeut ilit ~ble Qfilic

SctlU~;~h r:aJ:lle. U'~.ru'1t asthough

~.fe 1m t ~~OO:. Fm example,

lTCeCntly 'lh~ .Herold gave over a large <itt<!:I!boul S AfricaliRugJ!ly

WC!Sootland tily means (If'ijj iIUC.IVi~w

with Gm1~. Given !hat he f~iJs to

qualify f{!f' lit l~iIIll 2 of !he calew:rie~

'""'tull 00 ,earth war; ~p~ ofiliis Oil.siltLil~J. [!m Paul's

Life, ifit deal~ with r~l)all,

is 00 st~IOOo<typed that the opportmUt>,

is mi~~J (If ~timlJ!bting reasoned

argwnent aoo!,!1: !he g~.

~. find. it jnlefeStinS {~UJ~ SlId). iliat [TIthe tirst few weeks of the Herald introoucing il's Monday spmts lellt!ers ~pot, a helly number w~m complaints abo1l1lhe ~a!e Qf it!

.Rllmo • Clyde is .~ Ol~ Firm

ckmrinatOO fOf my taste, nat ,:taid, it 1&

a[til:r all a w.~:>t!G~nlr:ll~ ~It station so

~t is inev:i.ta~[e_B'U4if it was rcill~

balancOOI. ooverag.e. ofTbisUe, Moili~.IVIcll and. dl.e num.emus lower (lliv~ion clu~ w-ould ~ II whole tot better ru'!d at !be CXp«isc, of ~l C!:Wlt .flremier dllh~ and nnaliCl'tes,

TV - The ch[jlce of rmgr~mm~~ is [101 gn:iLt Friday SporiS'C€1W, I. think llJIak~s ,~ "'{ilianl ~fforl 10' sp.read

OIYvetrage. S~!l:i:!ih Cup days, iIre VCI')' wel~ 11lIJldJed .in my view_ CQVeIfag.e of i ~l D~viliioli rmrttm IS ad£quate - th011i,gh fan:s of L~t D~vi~i(j1lJ ~~JIilS wmdd no doubt .ngll:e that IXl'il;lt. Sc>aJSparl, I ha."',e gi~1I 'LJ,PDJJi as it is simply awfut ] have no time fOf Jim \limite, MoNee or iI panel {If shallow-minded! Old .. Firm Jlj3ye~ - rli$~or presc:n.t. ] S~(ilno- purpos.e in the pllofle.in • ~l can be U!;~f!,ll on roo,Lo but h.

simply d~.'t Icnditselfto TV_ Being~h a SWlOOy should prov~.de hwh_h a1'l ed,geLn oommellung (!(['IJ !he Ike, matt~rs ·of Saturday games but it waste.;: the' op~~nily,

SUmdtng Room Onl) W~~ a ~"1d efiilrt ro rro<vitk: i! dllTrn:Jlt slant. I. (think) I .. veuld

enjoy a 1 InOIi. fmrn ~~ of:

l'mnie:r, malil millicn 10 m rIllS

Post mll~.~n lnteli'Vie",,~ etc no min~

SI<LmL~ng R{lom Only type itelll1~ 1 S·20 m ~~ Remilintiler. oth.~ match .~ool~

F:(jiilNintl! 1,l/ernarwn!1l1:'ellm •. Denmatk.- ge. !. my Vllle ooeal]l;e !hey :oecm 1(1 be CRJJ'iILbl:e ·of achieving mo.~ th!lll an u!lu~al view (If !heir

Back Post

availahlere~rces \',iQl.Il<l ~ugg.t::st. To.mmy Cmijg's o.!JItil!!l.l'S>4 oolnp;1til'ilS Sootlandwith Bmzll, is jU80t mince. A. m(!lre~!iSoflliible eQmp;i!li_~~ is I be ... lieve w .. Iook. . .d(j.Se.~~t the DaJ!le~, wm:o:;c. reooITI of produ.Clnli;l a.high ffiIlmlhet of 'Wen ~b~ a\'(;rage ptaye:.rn. SlJJgg~,t a be~t'er approach to devel()pirn~ footlb~n. taleer, MO!!JI .lmprll1n:t l~s~es - lrea1iy do fuim:: dt~ LClIgIle set-up 8otioo out .amile herc. It's (lQ-IM9-W)jlllll nol goingr~ w(lfk, lan~ term. AwriD though, l,W'.r-e let d:ovm hy ~ I:~d;_ of rea5~.med !l!];l!!m~11I13 fm and &gainS;! 'variol!lS ideas, U's all tne mllch aloilgt1!e :r-!WIiiii!T lims of ''Well, ]):wid (Mufra},) wJt:il.t "s ytIur vie\V ~n the· way ((If'l'vaI'd?" ~rsooa:l~y, I (iflel we ImL~t ~[it,right iI~ U!eyU:i~ end .flr:sL.

(You don 1l:ltllLid a pyr~mld b~ i$tar1JI1;g lit the ~Jj)p and workilllgdown to lile b;:ii!;e) l W(IJl_der j f

Cheques payable to TAG.

il1l fact it'stllo:se ,aI. Caled.ooi:;lIjj lh ilnd Ross C(luty who aFC' bes~. placed ~o oommenl,

After ~U .y ~ ~1ipoerience of moving,iuID SIlniors all.!! ctliLl~d. ~LJteI)l b>e ~sib~e a~t no"" best a. feeder sy.sre.m .mlght w(lrk. Wih.w! IS hlr I.<ie.w OIl mcelmg 4 IUm~S II season compared. \vitl12 in Iflt; Higlh1~ Lcilgoo?

I {~iiili: 16.-12-]2 i~ilie~~tQfanawkwarolm_ I do l'Jo~ filivomp~~y-o[ffi, my view heimg wha1'~ Ih~. pcinl of ha.~'ing a ~eagu;e only fer a maj(l, [~llJo~ioo Ie bt. d~cided Dr CUP"'~!e melhods. That lJeing s@ [would go fOJ a 3.,2..2 ~romotiQ:ru'relegattolfl fOl"l['t;IL

Sl!mmc:Tfoo~ball is a llOfI·~~arter lOt me hu.t 1 IJel.ieve ill ~ win~er s~mtd(}'Ml. [.mow me argllilllen~ a'b!ol!l w~[ch monlh but lwoollll. bfC-ak in ]amwy far ItO' "ibN reaL~l1!n th~ to give fOiJils '~ke(5 II .Dreak: aflef" ChI'ifitma£_ Suppm'l.et iflV(l~vernemit is .11 great topic hut I ~lIy cammt. see in p.ra~u.ce .00w it em be d@IJi.~. Fort;>;;:mlpIc. at the lli.meoftl1e KFC 1Jike.ovet", much wa~ mad!: of the fae.mat a pUf!'Iin.attdi sil~.~r ,,"uld. he l1!i'I tl:te

2J

manilge:.menl coram i nee, [bdtEVe Richard Ca~ms was i ,. that. vaiee bul ] think the

whole ~dea. a;part Yel eo-one is

romplabt[t'I,g (as f!lr as I Imaw) and least of~] me, Rumul1,g the grnne? Neither can [ see dJ~;s primarilybecajjl)~ a. probably wo.ul!l hr~t1g oonflid w.ilh. big business spo~hip, RegrreM:ably, thCJ't: will OIIly be one winner there ~ il!r.Id il. V~M'~ be fu(: omillazy paying

pubitic.. -

BritisbJEl!-rnpeanl.?l!g"f!" A British League wil I never (lleVer sa. Y n>t.", .. ,e.-?) h1Ipp. en larg-el~ because [ !l1lnk O! EuroPClllI League "VIII g.e<I 111 msl. A.I~o, I finn b' bcii~v~ ilia! Boh CrouTIJlsey'S oommer!B itl TkG II while ago s;till hold geed; tha~. is few S CH!tish dubs timid aJ1il' ~I for Iho En.gl~;sh public, Anti passiM)' vtee-versa. Kilmru'l1ocJi::v Ctrvefll!ry is

.ttardl~ ~I:'I ~ rrmufu .wateni~ C3tegooy_ l d.O:fll behel.'i;- &g[ish dubs Ymlllld W1~ it .any more serioll~ly Ih.m th~y did !he '-;~;.'(il:OO C!1!p.

A"~y Europ~~cRg1J:e wun be a M.I~af.lI!l1l!vet1tusmi!yem Munlch/BallceJ.oJ:t;l e:lIl1Irt and ['m less ~ain abooutlille appeal {)n:n~ eJxp~_d~. UiEF A Cup. Ciuhs like

H[l'l~" H~, AIx.'Trl«:IilIlUd. M.o.therwell e;m sl!ll'ely 111~ ht~Jc ,~Pp!l'II.~ .nn mll.er eountnes. E>I;f!.!!ilUy liN'(IU~d Dq;J(Iftiv-o de Ceruna be a crmw·p1lHer hen:? ['11 '00 intt::l'esned. to see t!le crowd ~i:>:~ MUiJe Inter Toto mm~()lles. ilirou;!llh I 00 n.at ooel, it ~h(mld be dmdcd as muclil as .~l ila~ U'S!ifi ideathat mayjll!it work.

'1'h.rlY! Fln.Qgnm R_~k • I ;~illy cannot make up my mil1d Hixlutili.e 3 ro.rcigrneT.l rule, f):r:t the(!lne h<l!1ci ~Il: is pteci(l~ litlile ~:!,iad~[lre thaI :Rart~ f(l6'!ball <It dtl!Re5tic li!:vcl.is of !:.eller' ~a~ity whetll lJterulc doosn't apply fumdl.e q;uJlJlity at. EIlropeW! level whereu~ does. On me o!iher' il eees preveilltll ",cry .fsw' c.!ub.~ simply OO.)'Jilg everyone in sight..

1M:Iat [ donhink is 1Jl .. ~ 1he:!1: shmJ!!d btl: 110 differen'Oe betwee.H d~lfI'iestic ii.Il.d f_,\!li'l)pe'4i1l gaIiIICS, ie.,ifit\~ go-ing to apply jl1 E:l;H(lpt Ibm l'ct's arl.opil it at .00me.. ] ClI1'I see 9(1 l®giC8~ reason for

fur: III : pt:Ilki~_ Allhoogh IiLOl

~"ed. 'll1l:ldemand. why SooU<IDd

.ics: restri~!O ] Ilno:n.-EEC p'~yers - and I oelUinll' dida't know till :recently iliml, &s.t Fife and Meadowb~_k. sorzy Livingst.6lI1,accou:nted. (tlf J 01]' l!h.dEI! TAlIG' - [ = honestly ~y ~ ~ook

fOnNaiTd!@ each i5,5,u~ ofT Au, ] have Del,\ef ea~rly 0jJ¢llcd it ex~ctin~ to be chill'Cningmy sid~ \!Io'itb iaugh.wr • 1 e!ij~}y ~o cl=~nlll of e::(:Mper.lti.QJ1, and

frLtstrn:nion. m.ote Ulan ~ !:~.eIlileJ1tll afh1lfl1{1llt. I can .fEcal! only a very few mic~s thilt were d:eliber-atcly wn.thm. &s hllil'tt(H';(IUS ami I think th:r~.'s I'IS ~l sH(jyld be,

The tone, i~ hardc.r to judge, [f aU rnarerial you rewive is ne,ganDYe then. ll'li!! is ~urny OILlly ~ting puDla!: opinion.. TItii~le!\\i~ :yom O\!\J'I'I editori~I~'! ltlJillk they are ~roodll' in kee.PLIII.~ w.itlJ gener-~] Q~inioo hut with .dle ~~_wpll9J]. of jlourvlew on !he soonilrudl t~iIIiI1, A:~ dl..e riSk of being ,oontrarliaory ~fr1 th~ facit I!bat ~. never Bl1I iUiI.d S'GC ]lItematL0.nals, ] lJlirlk you're too hard on Crnig Brown ootll the learn_

I beilleve dun.lhe Roo:hurghIBrown yeai'll have been~arg~l}' satisrac~.ory_

Ao'vcrts aw nolbotlier In me " for ~~<lMpic ilio~ ill. lihe afini\llemuy is5!l~ 'W!il~. perrecl:ly ,~~cept~e, 1bo.se in Ws,[' a~ IIJOO fine by me M oomp:mleli s!1!ch as the olD! jersey ones are ~t1tere.sHt'lg~n them~~'~~s,

Yours

NO.m1111l RlIDeiman N-e·W!@D M.eams

At the End of the Day, ..

1I~1i.~ 'fkG

I n TAG 431 wasto 00 IOUJld laying oft' about Sky TV in [,I.lI.lti{lul.tI[ .... ,ith a P~35il1g nod at STV_ n~1il ~rune6.5.95_

TIllis Vl'~ ~. day wfI(:1l1 iIl(l:Sl i~$l;les i.n~n Divisions \\f(,luid be res()lv~d_ Sky were

. stmwil1;g Celtic v .Rangers whlch was a meaningless fLKtuwe and noteven a sell alit HBC] sliow.cdili~ biggestgame ~f1 Aberdeen hisl(II)', ap~_rt from Ihe preYi.()U£ week's ~! I-:le~ (:iliJ1tn.efI,lUY uncov.ered} alid (]ie foHowinf): week's at fa.lki.~k.

S'O obviOU$ly Ule I'iui).~/1 !eMls:. Thi~le/FalkLrk. DUlldeelSl J\ohn~tllne. R:ihhlDunfennJ lue, MmoolDumbartoo (brielly on BSel I admit], StirhnglBrechi:n, C"le:yIR@s~ 'bearhf M.(mtrose g~_rn~ WQll~~ he eovered bJ' STY? Er, nit) a.crually, just a ~pearr of'the D\1Y~€ Cooper u1l:im.e (Ma isn't it ooufying how hacks at STV ami tn~ R~ooro wr·~t~:ing On Cooper>~ memmy)_

Even I. wrulS:lJrprised, ·especially when you thJ~nk oflhe dci~ iI.'b.1'I3~ "SCOUi5h~ md Geny McNee got the previous we~ f~f .. ~h~jjg !he ijjnii:'l'lJ.pm1:anl RMtetS./M(lthef'!Mei!. match, So] did my "d~sgufitea Tunb~idg~ WeU~'''acJ: an£ll phoned 81\'.

Mytltrnl ~uesl1ioo was "Whj.'.ar€l;l :rJ\9li1 showi"KfooihaJi this weekend"?

TeIephoo.e Gkt"Oh Siy 1Vha~~ e;xdwive C'Qvenlg ---.

'J don 'im.M,,! ~rli! Ol¥. Firm ". [mappecl, "I m~n e~r}'fllu1gels.~ _

TO: "OJ! I'H pur you rllrough 10 the SpOrl$ Dq:.arll1umr' •

Geedaess me. l iiboogM~ a bona fide dumcc to yell "j'a~l)~" ilitthe s.~ ed)U~f hil1ll$eJf AJiliS. no, I me~y: g.OllQ leave some ",itrio~ on ilie .ans:apholile as Ite ''tea:rlli''~~!1: no~. at 1:t0000.e to callers,

According. to Scollamion Sumlrzy 7~,00)+ IProple ~h«I senior (~mtb.an ~I'I SruUaJld tlla! Saturday Oh~$OOe$ !lot i:t'liclude the m.o{Jo at !!he OM Film !'esel"lt'e maitch)_

WhefQ !lliIe CQfI.oeW~. of nVlrandlises: .VlIil ijjlroduced II biJ hat:!. w be .accornpaniea by a qU~llty threstLoM a,greeme:nt" This ought al:ro

to app~y 00 S.porl. On Ui!c b~i~ of 9HI.5., c5~ci8lJly6.S.9!i iIDd !he pU(ly.of!~, .~ wotlidblan SlV from cove;rin;g ]l)o~baU I1Intil the), agreed ll) ~l1te:i.~ hnprovemenls.

A fatwah on D im Wh~teWOl.llrl bea strut an£l am tlli~ summer's ef5~lz Wmld Cup even th~ ~R!lgser Uugg.erC WOIl.l,dl probably ~g~e. YOllfll;,

~~ 'Jeitilp~eJt1Jan Tarl;Jel

1)~~wTt\G

[,ardon~e. !:i:n.eil. paper oot,l:tavungo:n ty reoently fJJ;3;!iwood .ioin~cl·liIpWil'L~nng. it !C3Wns the m.,lI; ~.he~d of m~-

Ih[L~ COOl.ccrn:; ~hc "~iltl" tlemi~e of Dum1~ Uniloo from the P~ier L¢ .... gl,f~- It grie'Ve-:s m~ .[ a,~ .a IJlilflclee SI!JJp'porter) to see one of die toonde~ of the pWJios~1 for a 'Super' league fall fmmthe~ir 'd~brvcd' P[}~ tlo.n iJ:::; (lil1e. ~Jr ~h~ t:o;p W~IlI1IS ill, ,~~ ._ .. T.~yside. Ilerh~p~ the e~'·i,den:cc ·oflast.seawn'sresl1Ihll m:~y wake-up (hemo.re deluded Ara'tvs as to· dteir I~n'~ real lPosu~ioo in SooUi~1II ftmtiniH.

.~ havc Sl;ll'll~ symp.attiry fOlF AmOs wi~h roytn:ls m the rol'e .of Girilli. Mcle~n ill Ihe {'alt There i~ a ~T],~t1J (who m~~es Ian l>aisiley look] ike a fair-minded, oi~IJt-lc;ss nice chap) wh~l cri:t1c[cl:i~~ others fUr ~jg!lil1g IiJrelgn.~rs and lJ.i\.ving iil1l'1aled ~rutI~ftr [ee..,_ Onea~~flJilTie.~ Mt McLean forgets Ihe Slr.i Ilg of 8.cnnh .AmeriCliIl. WlliL'Cni ilc ~~gn~J (W~H~r Roj~, M~chi!i uno Fm~.y~) for 'o.'1rgail1> F~es of£250,OOQ-

F e[f'.~y~, the only one wholn~na~ed more thlill a handful of g;~mes ~nd. of (lOLllrs.!:), o(}L11ld S:jl:it .o¥sr 25 yarns (as Jhn Dun).' CI!iIl ~~3tify,. UrioonrunlJ1lcly, Ihe mllilll con5C'Illi~lIIc~ (IHhe~r p;:lcg~tion is ~ht, ~Sl(!(~;:I$~-~ed. c~~b fOIr !h~

~1.m.;}I(:lamation ~'1rtHJlh [)~PIH:I~ teams, As usual, the idea that you "", II ~ I~~ ... e !he surne ~!110m]1 ofsuppcn for a Dundee "City' as for Doth teams ~~palOlil!t.:ly. is based upon a total ignorance of the. respective f~n~. The e~~ .. dl~ill article o~ Meadow~ank' S 'lllflJl"d.e.'. by

$U nbc;ruo[l~I:IOt!lcllnforLn !he adm uustrators . ~n!(1 ~ccOnu~a!1ts bit tncre ismore to footb<aU Lh~i. a'b-!:U'act b~bJlce ~hteK

RetumitlJ~ to U"iloed. uf KiTb~'llo(lo(:l'~lurs;t signing is ~nytliin~ ~o go hy. Ara~~ beuer djg om the 11II8pS fo:r Straaraer, A Uy MIDI:.W<e1J sp~nt 111(1n: hl:llle I¢rr(l:Tisin~ his Q'o!.'11 ddi;no~ l.ha~1 ~~ppirng sllOl:S_ A Itlilough his H~~ performance {' Brave AUy pJlIj'S Ihe. pain barrie'J" <0 Scottish Sun) for Moth.erwe:ll.~g~in~ Un~t~.;1 ill Ul¢; 5,,0«i[;]1 Cup Final is one 1:0 wann Dundee supporters e\i\erywhete.

The allier 1'{'.;1.50n fOr· wTiti!!g to your veaerable magazine is to disJlirove tile apparet'ltnl1eory th~t GrPnl Mill;if is the only persoa illl Dundee with pens and p~pe'f_

Yours

David 'Not. Grant Mi.Uar' Beier

IlS ~>lease .rem~lld all TV 'OOlltrnenlatws' ~hat DUJ];d~~ isproooullloea wilh !he ·U' ~r11nind and not their normal Hindee.

]}e.ilr·TAG

Aflet the iQfm<Ition of the, S(j(lL~$1il Football leaglJle in 1800, moreth~n 30 yea!J'S passed befere II1ttomalie promotion and reJegatilO:ll Wall introduced. Over r·ecrnl yew~ l have become JilrteiOt$~fi~Uy ,o(l:i1,cviooed !bat ~he ~e.-s whose stake in football is more financ:i:lll~halil emotleaal are longing for a return to the era wb.e.n ~nt]ll!tllloe behind !he ~cmos, ralhu fu.m a.bilily (!It'! tne field, decided who v.vu.lil [~e, gain. or .re~~n t!leir place amon€: the elite, The rumotllfS. of¥e~ 8Tlothe:r IlO.lll of'league f·r;c(jn:rtrucboo if Abl::rd'l;)~1iI finisilcil bottom of tile Pre.mler Division were symptomaHc of a trend 8pilOmisecl ~~. lihe .. \liide;r stage ilo>' !he gerlJ'mandering ofthe European Cup.. On'Ce tl:ttz gr'CaleSt l!lld moo~. gl81Imrous mllCk:-<mi 'oompetition of iliA;1lII aJ~,inth~ n~1lli: ofsparing 1hericl1 from fcotball ~ng emb~erliton: t~e p:it.dl amI finanda~ eilllb<IIT;l!:smenl off it, :it has been traJ1~ro:rmed . .intowflat us a tedious and. pre-dktable boom regar·dedl wMh affi1dioo. by rnobodyiNIr fiR'WI!~l1g pruEliWki hkoc~hc [).ai.ly' RecfJr-d and nv.

Retu.mii'ig ~o the (klltlet>~ic gtlme. Bob Crampsey's comments In. I!he [.e~~l1Ie's oflkia! ~1'lt~nilJ)' history (The First 10·() r~i:II::!',. p. 70) ;ltewor1h !hjjj_kiii~ aOO!ll. N04:ililg fu~~ Ole ilIur;trious Queen s l]ark. v..oere amonf): the first. 'victillils' of a[f:~(l[llatic ~elegllition, he oomment:s: , .. __ in a COIHp2lili1?B spar.t, playing ability had (0' be taken .~'J" seriously and inde~d accol'ded [YI'iorUy. Aural/m#c promotion' and relegation migh.t ~, and ~n f)at;{.l~:iQ'1 Wil,~, highly il~collwnieJIr.. bw there WIM' a manifesr il1juSli1::1!; ill eJ:empling any side /ro1tJ it.:; provisions. e~IC::11 when liuu si:d~ had (1S .distinguisJwd a past h4lvry£r,~· QU~'1':!i Park .. The rn;'W ,~ywem mig/M be JrtK;(JIIJ'a1'l bu~ wCluld be (}CC(Jpted .if altwel'e vlilneroble ".

YOUi'll s.rn(l~rely

Mark Shipway

l.eeds

IDe~r 'WAG

Sf! "Fimltlda! eli Hicul!:ies" ;lire l).fI[!k~lBetViiiok_ Apparently we're h)Ok~l:lJg i(lT ailQlh.er 1:a,~led bLliSl:n.essman III write the latest sad lwisl ~n our ~ece;nl hi.s.tOl,),. fo~lowed 2 years ~ater by an anmrymm15. 3~viomwho'~1 bl'Ccd ~e eluio dry ~I~d pull Il,e plu.g ~t t~.e ~m M t~ Ce~IWry, 'L't11.el~upoll a ....... _ ell: etc. Ach! who gi¥es a dallillil ru long~s till: "Free Trade" sltll}'s o~n? Yours

The Rcdeilf Loo.ny

tli(l.9~· T A:G

A G'JI11.~ oj 2 I-/orres. STV·.~ ll!ttempt. at

• hml:a1lyFootlilall' rn~'e~s 'Have ! got news tat you' iswell ." cnp_

STV, whh the btldget of ~Iil E~~ of Scotland ]e~gl;ll;: sid~, should Kn(}W better, 11111'1 Wnik: is no A~lguS Deyt()l1and Law and ~r are ne Skinnee and Badd:ielL Amy i H~jo.n that the sJ10W was. off the cuff banter W.:L~ shattered ~Qr me in show 2w1h~CI1 Alldy Go.ram admi~tedl (haL tne learns had beeilJ ,oo~j.:hoo with Ihr~ answers beforehand and ail.1"(lJ1y Roper ]JI'1.lvid.es. m~~i~1 i(if AG01H ha's bound In know nile jie~~ iille. ~t w'Otlldll:l'~: be so b~d if it did"'1 took rehearsed, hoW'eve~ <'f.h!!r~ ~ho~vbiz;' is plundered to the extent !Ih~t Mike Sm i~ OOIJld hOlNe !:! '~1IJ~' if h.e wantoo to buy th.e righm to the ~how 'fur ~. krn{l~'k dtl'lNll. prlce, I've seen more origiJ];lIlil), in a. pl!lb quiz leilgU\:.

I doubt whether Iih.~~ cwm ruh~y f'u:r:iher ~h.iilil l series, There ere only so maJ1l}' Mo Johns~n jokes YCiI,l C~q use .Md the whole :prOOnctioo mijght be:rt~mfrom the .~ncll!l~h'jn of some i'ilIlzi:ne writcP.l 00 the prOO.\.i:cticm tsarn, A~ uS11:ll1 it's ~eavny loaded ill fa\,olilr ·oftlie wcs~: ~\!lIl~ hm Ihe humoor Is forced d~$pi~ the tee hce's oUm \VhUlie Ln a Celtic 3ti11 kil end Or.1Illige M~n's 'lCJyal 'jacket. No wonder ~()(tulltlflaJ1 W~!St)i'I, R.Qper>~paiiin~r in lire 'Only An Exeuse' series of the ~a~e- 80s gaeve this OO~ if, wid~ i[).enh. ['m .not 00I1Y.~ncedl t.a.nzun.e ru~t-I,lte tr.~nsfm from 1h~"Wi~,tlf:n ~:o the spoken word_

Twas line 'sU'aighltman' il'l. the em~y da~~ Qof SootFM:'s W8i[ke~s Crisps Du_W!.ut w.hlch prl;:cod~cl sse Sootiancl s ~OjIT1w Ball' and a 'Game .of 2 HallJ.e~ 'i:nto UtJe mainstreem of Soottdsh Foo!halLI 'mi1,(~t sure ~ of th.'i:m work betre.r· qr even s~miiar ~o a \1I'Iitit.en fanzine. Comparisons whir Plunk and. New Wa¥e music in Ule Jat~' 7D:>flnaUy b~c{lming aeceptable ill the PQP mai.l:ls~ {lOU~cI .I!i>e made. Wri:1'B1 !!h.e CLIIITem crop of Srottis.ninlempns at bringing f.lm:zine cu.ltur,e ro TV and Radio,. hutlhe sight of Jim White try~~g to he acomedillIl o:n~y mate-$ me pli'lelo.:t the mid-8o.s ~en filtizjnes were su.lIllruly SiLlD'!IetSi'!le._ . ratl~asy Foctb~n uagl!l!1: sndtlle early Only An E~cuse tapes are the best expooll.ents ol.f tihe'aJildio· [aLmne'" 'Off !!he B;I!W has h~d .~ mixGl:i rcaetioo~ I p~r'3olUally don'llikeit Md. altnOl,lgh m~' Sucres.sor i)(i'i the DU~'(lI!I,. Te?r. McGeadte~ ~~ an able I'r{j~ll mlo\l1!

[ fouud both romediaJ11l' on Ilre 9lt{lv.', Ke.nny Harr.~~ and, John Palll Leech, using the Dlolgo:ut as; tneir QWl11 per~J\n",1 ~~and-'U;p roUitine~. ~.>eJ'ih,aps. (here is =pe for a oorneclirut 5'Jl~iaJifling un f0()~b!!lnfi.ml'de!l,

A Game Qf2 Hil.M5 iSIll 't m~ybc worthiy ora serioUiS. crihque. H's brQ~dCil3t aA a lime l.h~!. makes 1'ou weloome, it (~ilm.o:>t) ~net ~ 'U,ms.'llillyp.reparing fur the \¥eeke.nd, bm if yon'ro going 10 do some;thing you l'Iligh~ lIS wd! do it right iJ![l() [ don't think this is one to remember 1I"l)1rI C(fW'COl(!tEel~$ TV ~l'Ic. 5 out (If 10 fill efT(jrt,1 jess for hlimOOf.

Yours

A~ex Ho.rr.bul'gih LhmfermHne -

PS And! doesn't Dents Law !ook re<llly Imcomfol1l;~ble esll~iaHy in Illc Sin:gLl:lig [QtI[ul?

Ue:llrTl\(O

A~ I look ~llhlc Ap:ri.l 9.3 'Th.elposl'· nniule b~ A U"!rIlcr f': !),~, f.:n1!Oi;~~ I~ !rnl:Jllk"l~ ~hi~ "";lDDD ,.,. ~o ~I!~ vdm :Ii~~~ iliD1 OO~~ bat::k ! ... 1;3&1 EiI"'.

A~ a Lci~hn.laJlJ IIIl~rclle:r - ~a~ 11m mil ~Hllill~ too do 00 1>l'I!~I~w~~ " ~ Ik!~~ ~1 .... i1)'~. W.il!'l~~!Q q~iJlltHY Ib~ ~I'i'~~ ·~f Ji,~ '~n:I~gv;·,I_ !n !he fi,,~1 ~"'~ <Yf tloe ~tIS'i p:r·oJt1a~ioo. ~'~8f Ib_ W(ir~ ~c"'fly 11.000 ~(j wa1e.ll MeilDDwb9JJk - Illl"'),!:aT ~lle ·corn:spDooi~gfilrnuJC i!~~i!1SI! qr~elIi!l't d~w ~ess Ih~., .~,aoo. Ho,~ .. er:r'J~ r~M1It,@ r.S~'['@$, :F","nd:;t!ly li''''$ fl'Oi~~ 'I;~~ CQ~t [Ioe E"ar;s, B.loI of In'Dll!I:y aver ~b~ pBst reI'''' yeilfS ..

Re-gatds

Bill McMllhon