I want

I want a world where it truly doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, gay or straight, Christian or
Muslim. Dr. Martin Luther King had a point in his “I have a dream” speech. We as humans shouldn’t
be killing and/or hating each other for such stupid and petty things. There’s a lot of trouble the
planet is in right now and all that anyone seems to care about is themselves or how they disagree
with how other people live there lives. Here’s what I have to say to that. Who the FUCK cares! Just
because some one doesn’t believe in what you believe or doesn’t act the way you act doesn’t mean
they are bad people. They are just different that’s all. Unless they being different from you actually
harms you in any way, just leave them alone and they will leave you alone.

I want

I want a new life. I’m tired of being trapped in this house full of tension, trapped in a thankless job,
and trapped in the horrors of my mind. For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from major
migraines, anxiety attacks, paranoia, and I may be bipolar. The reason why I say I may be bipolar is
because my dad is bipolar and I don’t know if I’ve inherited it, or if my own mind has “tricked” me
into thinking I am. All of this combined can lead me to a dark place. Some of you have seen me when
I get in these moods while others have seen me happy or “happy.” There’s isn’t much I can do about
the being stuck at home part, that I’ve come to terms with, but the work thing is driving me insane!
There’s nothing I want more than to walk up to my manager spit in his face and say I quit. Of course,
I would never do that but still, I’m tired of doing the workload of three people for nothing. I was
employee of the month a month ago. Hurray, I got to see a picture of my self in the break room for a
month how wonderful. I’m trying to look for a new job so we’ll see how that goes.

I want

I want people to pay attention to me but not pity me. I want people to care about me but not feel
obligated. I want people to love me with out second-guessing themselves. I want people to truly
know who I am. I am a generally a happy person without the aid of drugs. Ignorance is bliss and
sometimes I wish to be ignorant of many things but that won’t happen. I am an intelligent person,
which is a blessing, and curse. “As intelligence increases, happiness often decreases,” that was a
quote from The Simpons. THE SIMPONS taught me that. A satirical show taught me that, among
other things that may or may not have “screwed up” my life and way of thinking.

I want

I want to be a psychologist. I want to be a zoologist. I want to be an author. I want to be a lot of

different h things. But I just can’t seem to focus on just one thing. I don’t know if I have ADD but I
know I can get into a “phase” of really getting into something, and then out of no where I lose
interest. The only things that haven’t lost my interest are video games, comic books, and anime. This
isn’t to say that I’ve lost interest in people such as my girlfriend, I love her to death and I will continue
to love her no matter what. What I mean to say is that of particular subjects, hobbies, etc. I tend to
get out of things very suddenly and I don‘t know why. It’s something I’ve been working on for the
last few years but to no avail. I started college wanting to be a teacher, then a teacher in Japan, then
just a Japanese translator, and then be a psychologist. I don’t truly know what I want. Other than I
just want to be happy.
This is just some of the ramblings that I’ve had in my head the past few months. I know I left many
thoughts unfinished but my thoughts right now can’t stay on just one subject. I know barely anyone
is going to read this and even less will care but I had to write this. I need help. As for what kind of
help I don’t truly know. I just know that for the first step, I need some one to listen.