But That is Not All

VivianLea Doubt

Thompson Rivers University

Open Thinking: Final Assignment

December, 2008
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Part One: Integration

Curiositá

The Chinese character representing ―to listen‖ is described

in the overview to Module 2 of Open Thinking : ―In this character

the sign for ears, on the left, is balanced by calligraphy on the right

that denotes (from the top) eyes, undivided attention, and, as the

base, heart.‖ (TRU, 2008.)

This is a beautiful visual metaphor of the concept that listening requires more of us than just our

ears. Active listening will engage us at a visceral level… here, it seems, is the starting point for

inquiry. In any event, it was a major discovery for me in my exploration of asking for feedback:

my attention to listening had to honour those I asked the questions of. The catalyst for this

exploration was Bolman and Deal discussing leadership, and the idea that many leaders never

receive genuine feedback about their leadership abilities (2003, p.6). To apply the curiosity of

constant inquiry is intimately linked with the ability to hear the response.

The questions I asked were based on Michael Gelb‘s ideas for exploring emotional

intelligence:

What are my weaknesses, blind spots, and areas for improvement?

What are my strengths, my best qualities?

What can I do to be more effective, helpful, or sensitive? (2004, p. 75).

I spent a great deal of time pondering the questions – who I should ask, in what format, and how I

could facilitate answers that were not glib, or polite, or constrained. At some point I recognized

that simply beginning would show me the way to go, in other words, that any mistakes I made

would allow me to adjust as I went along. My first interview took place with a long-standing
 3

friend over a 2-hour lunch, and I immediately knew I would have to change my process. Each

time she articulated a point I would ask her a further question to clarify it; clearly this was more

of a conversation than a listening exercise. It was also apparent that there was more risk involved

for her than for me; my initial idea was that close friends or family would be more likely to be

honest. Perhaps this is still true; on the other hand, those who are less intimate may also have less

risk in articulating perceived weaknesses. Accordingly, I chose to interview 5 more people for a

total of 6, 3 who knew me well and 3 who were lesser acquainted.

The remainder of the interviews were much shorter, mostly because I talked much less.

When one interviewee said I was ‗brazen‘, I raised my eyebrow rather than asking a question:

this prompted her to laugh and then to articulate in detail her views about my directness. There

were some surprises in the interviews as well; one that stands out is being told I had great

strengths in marketing. The interviewee who told me this was a business person and clearly

meant this as a compliment; I recognized an inner recoil from the sordid idea of selling things.

(Whether this is a positive belief or a negative belief will depend on one‘s personal philosophy,

but in any case it is certainly a limiting belief.)

―Creativity begins in darkness and requires some sense of trust that this darkness will be

negotiated‖, says Cameron (quoted in TRU, 2008). I was able to recognize my tendency to

analyze and over-analyze and to simply begin the process, trusting an outcome. Adjustments to

the who, what, and how occurred along the way, and while I retained my sense of inquiry, I was

able both to simplify the questions and to decide that listening to the answers was the crucial

element in this exercise.

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Dimostrazione

I have been struggling as a student, undoubtedly for a variety of

reasons, but one of which is how limiting I perceive much of my course

material to be. It seems that my brain makes a connection, then leaps to

another connection, and just wants to keep going. So while this very

likely demonstrates my curiosity and love of learning, conversely it also

negates some of my effectiveness in demonstrating I have learned some

core material. Having wrestled with this for over a year in a painful and

unproductive way, I turned my attention to how I might shift this paradigm. Hence the idea to

interview a teacher about the concept of what makes a good student.

I contacted an instructor of English at the local college, and she happily agreed to talk to

me over lunch. On the appointed day another instructor also came along and joined in the

discussion. While I made it very clear what I was doing and why, I also tried to speak generally

and not personally. I am acquainted with both of these women and find them enjoyable people,

but I wanted to explore concepts that could have been uncomfortable in a genuine teacher/student

relationship. Queries did get more probing towards the end, mostly because what was articulated

to that point seemed quite close to my own views. The desire to learn – an eagerness or interest –

was suggested as the foremost quality. Showing up was the second; both voiced a frustration with

students who didn‘t come to class and then experienced difficulty. This tied in with the idea of

diligence or rigour attached to the student‘s work in order to be judged excellent. Of course, I

could not refrain from putting forward the standard student complaint: It is understood that you

are searching for excellence, but what is that, exactly? Is it incumbent upon the teacher to define

that? The discussion certainly got interesting at that point. These instructors see their job as

teaching a particular curriculum, and exercising a reasonable judgement as to whether that is

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mastered. So I asked should teaching students to think be the overriding goal? Both replied that

within the confines of their disciplines, that was correct. (It did occur to me at this stage that

interviewing the instructor of Open Thinking might have been very interesting.)

There is no question that I operate with some specific ‗lenses‘; my mother was a teacher

and my father a scholar, and I grew up with some inherited and fiercely articulated concepts

about learning. A mind map I created at the beginning of the course on the theme of ‗a university

education‘ reveals these words and linkages:

Ideas (challenge, discovery, excitement)

Dreams (exuberant, big, holistic)

Achievement (hard work, mastery, success)

Change (movement, growth, stretch)

Discipline (fluid, boundaries, ordered)

Tradition (scholarly, hidebound, rules)

This is a fairly clear picture of how my lenses colour my thoughts, not to mention the symbols

that resonate for me.

So was there a paradigm shift for me? I believe there was; much like the ‗shifting figures‘

explored in Module 3 of Open Thinking, I have learned to ‗see‘ two viewpoints. I can ‗suspend‘

my judgement about a viewpoint and simply hold within my mind to examine it. While I do not

totally agree with their expressed viewpoint, neither do I totally disagree with it – what is

important is that I can examine it. But I will come back to a further discussion of this, because it

is interesting and important.

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Sesazione

Synaesthesia is defined by Wikipedia as:

Synesthesia (also spelled synæsthesia or synaesthesia, plural

synesthesiae or synaesthesiae)—from the Ancient Greek σύν
(syn), "together," and αἴσθησις (aisthēsis), "sensation" — is a
neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of
one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic,
involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive
pathway. In one common form of synaesthesia, known as
grapheme → color synaesthesia or color-graphemic
synaesthesia, letters or numbers are perceived as inherently
colored, while in ordinal linguistic personification, numbers,
days of the week and months of the year evoke personalities.
In spatial-sequence, or number form synaesthesia, numbers,
months of the year, and/or days of the week elicit precise
locations in space (for example, 1980 may be "farther away" than 1990), or may
have a (three-dimensional) view of a year as a map (clockwise or
counterclockwise). Yet another recently identified type, visual motion → sound
synaesthesia, involves hearing sounds in response to visual motion and flicker.
While cross-sensory metaphors (e.g., "loud shirt," "bitter wind" or "prickly laugh")
are sometimes described as "synaesthetic," true neurological synaesthesia is
involuntary. It is estimated that synaesthesia could possibly be as prevalent as 1 in
23 persons across its range of variants.Synesthesia runs strongly in families, but
the precise mode of inheritance has yet to be ascertained (2008).

But in this exercise I will pay no more attention to the definition, but simply play with the idea of

making synaesthetic minestrone. The catalyst here is not only play, but sight and sound and

smell and taste, and that indefinable idea of nourishment. What nourishes me?

This exercise began with a trip to the local farmers‘ market for onion, potatoes, and

carrots, to Brambles (the local store selling only food grown in BC) for chard, roma tomatoes,

celery, cabbage, zucchini, and fresh basil. The ritual of sharpening my rosewood-handled

Henckel was integral – lots of vegetables to chop! And a trip out to the garden yielded a few

sprigs of slightly browning, but still growing oregano. The crisp sound of the celery as I cut it

was a delight, as was the gorgeous red chard. The vegetable stock simmered while I chopped –

for over an hour! – and the smells began to come together. The gently bubbling soup filled every
 7

corner with a wonderful melange of earthy, tomatoey, cheesy odours that were rich enough to

visualize. The soup was a truly beautiful riot of colours. And just for fun, here‘s a link to a video

of the vegetable orchestra. Although they are not playing the minestrone song or dancing the

minestrone dance, this is a lovely experience none the less.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpfYt7vRHuY&feature=related

From start to finish, this project took about 6 hours, an incredible luxury of time. Few of

us cook and eat this way any more, and that is truly a pity because the loss is staggering. The

deliberation of choosing the best and the freshest, of careful preparation, and happy anticipation,

of delighted nourishment for body and soul – the sights, smells, sounds, and tastes that contribute

to an integrated sensory experience are fading away, reserved mostly for special occasions. Of

course we still eat, and some of us still prepare meals, but the time to savour all these elements is

often lacking. Who will sing the minestrone song and dance the minestrone dance, now?

There are, of course, many ways for humans to nourish their senses. Still, food and drink

are essential to every body process and function, and so they are the very essence of life. Food

and drink are the centrepiece of every celebration and festival, every one of life‘s significant

occasions, the pivotal moments of family life. My exercise in making synaesthetic minestrone

was a deeply personal reminder of the necessity of cultivating the senses to help cultivate the

mind.

Arte/Scienza

Look at me!

Look at me!

Look at me NOW!
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It is fun to have fun

But you have to know how.

I can hold up the cup

And the milk and the cake!

I can hold up these books!

And the fish on a rake!

I can hold the toy ship

And a little toy man!

And look! With my tail

I can hold a red fan!

I can fan with the fan

As I hop on the ball!

But that is not all.

Oh, no.

That is not all....

(Dr. Seuss, 1957)

The exploration of the idea of ‗my day off‘ in a mind map was initially thought of as a

way to capture the abstract idea of ‗fun‘ – what makes a day off different than a day at work, for

example? The choice of the Cat in the Hat as a central image was immediate; this is for me an

evocation of childhood, and the sense of freedom and spontaneity that childhood play evokes. It

can be difficult to maintain that sense as an adult; of course responsibilities get in the way but

other inhibitions intrude also. Work is very much play for me, never the less, a strict schedule is

defined by a bell, and the sense of ‗flow‘ – of losing track of time in an intensely pleasurable
 9

pursuit – is always interrupted. But the division of work and play is not a strictly defined

boundary in my life. That was the most interesting part of the exercise – the recognition that the

―basic ordering ideas‖ of the mind map – ‗think‘, ‗fun‘, ‗walk‘, ‗read‘, ‗cook‘ – are the

ingredients of everyday, not just days off (Buzan, T. & Buzan, B., 1993). This is where the

balance of work/life exists – a day that contains these essential elements is both a pleasurable and

a productive day, whether at work or play.

I suppose I previously recognized that my enthusiasm for both work and play existed; this

is, however, a new understanding: that ‗work‘ or ‗play‘ is not defined by a location or a task. In

fact, ‗work‘ or ‗play‘ – as in the signifier – is largely defined by codes, ―views and attitudes about

how the social world is or ought to be‖ (Streeter, T., 2005). If there is any fortune I possess, this

is surely it: the ability to blend the ethos of both in daily life. Kenneth Clark says ―the history of

art cannot be properly understood without some reference to the history of science. In both we are

studying the symbols in which man affirms his mental scheme…‖ (quoted in Gelb, 2004, p. 166).

Here then are the symbols of my mental scheme…

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Sfumato

The final exploration I shall write about was neither planned, nor is it finished. But it is an

interesting example, perhaps, of various strengths and competencies in action… I shall leave this

to the reader to decide. A ‗classroom‘ course I am taking started with the participants each

completing an MBTI ® test and reviewing the evaluation. The class was then placed into groups,

some with varying types and two, of which mine was one, in which the participants were

similarly typed. (My type in this paper version of the test is ENFP. Interestingly, it remains ENFJ

in the web version, re-taken.) We were given a long-term goal: to produce a report and group

presentation on the case we have been assigned to be delivered December 18. The case requires

us to make strategic (business) decisions, but we must accomplish this by consensus of the group.

The immediate task is to prepare an initial brief presentation: 20 minutes is allotted to accomplish

this and again we are to achieve consensus. There are seven of us in the group.

Clearly, 20 minutes is a brief time to work out a consensus on strategic issues, but we

work amazingly quickly and very fluidly. Our discussion begins with ideas of excellence that we

are all committed to, tied in with Peter Senge‘s ideas of personal mastery and creative tension,

and moves into the area of complexity (Senge, P., 1990). It is an astounding discussion in its

breadth and depth, and though there seems to be disparities between viewpoints each participant

adjusts their position minutely in order to work towards consensus. We are the only group that

finishes within the assigned time period, the basic framework of our ‗research‘ and major

presentation mapped out. I think immediately of ―boids‖, the program created by Craig Reynolds

to explore the flocking behaviours of wild birds. Mitchell Waldrop summarizes the three simple

rules that each boid was programmed to follow:

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1. It tried to maintain a minimum distance from other objects in the environment,

including other boids.
2. It tried to match velocities with boids in its neighbourhood.
3. It tried to move towards the perceived centre of mass of boids in its
neighbourhood.

What was striking about these rules was that none of them said form a flock. Quite
the opposite: the rules were entirely local, referring only to what an individual
boid could see and do in its own vicinity. If a flock was going to form at all, it was
going to have to do so from the bottom up, as an emergent phenomenon. And yet
flocks did form, every time (quoted in Whyte, D., 1999, p. 269).

The imagery of boids is particularly apt here; to see them in action, go to:

http://www.red3d.com/cwr/boids/

This is a group of people acquainted for only a few days, working to achieve consensus

on a rather daunting task. Each individual considers another position and shifts, thus changing the

movement of the whole group. It is both deeply satisfying and exhilarating, and we all

acknowledge what we have accomplished, although perhaps understanding it in an intuitive,

rather than a reasoned way. So what precisely is happening here? There is a clear synergy of

intent, but further than that the willingness to hold ambiguity seems clearly present. In the

expression of one participant: there are dozens of ‗right‘ answers, equally as many ‗wrong‘

answers – the best way forward is to navigate this paradox by embracing it. The collective

decision will be a considered one; more importantly, it does not negate any one person‘s strongly

held views, but builds on them.

Connessione

The visual metaphors introduced here have all been

important in helping me to understand some concepts at a

deeper, more visceral level, perhaps because the visual is

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more easily ‗called up‘. With ―boids‖, for example, I was made aware of the program in a book,

but went immediately to the internet to see if I could find the visual complement. So too, with the

labyrinth: the experience of ‗walking‘ the virtual labyrinth was surprisingly calming, satisfying,

and centring. I find myself seeking the visual more and more, whether through images, films, or

animations; perhaps this is a more literal way of seeing another perspective.

Is the Cat in the Hat image (see title page) a chaotic or complex figure? Wikipedia

defines these thusly:

When one analyses complex systems, sensitivity to initial conditions, for example,
is not an issue as important as within the chaos theory in which it prevails. As
stated by Colander, the study of complexity is the opposite of the study of chaos.
Complexity is about how a huge number of extremely complicated and dynamic
set of relationships can generate some simple behavioural patterns, whereas
chaotic behaviour, in the sense of deterministic chaos, is the result of a relatively
small number of non-linear interactions. Therefore, the main difference between
Chaotic systems and complex systems is their history. Chaotic systems don‘t rely
on their history as complex ones do. Chaotic behaviour pushes a system in
equilibrium into chaotic order, which means, in other words, out of what we
traditionally define as 'order'. On the other hand, complex systems evolve far from
equilibrium at the edge of chaos. They evolve at a critical state built up by a
history of irreversible and unexpected events. In a sense chaotic systems can be
regarded as a subset of complex systems distinguished precisely by this absence of
historical dependence. Many real complex systems are, in practice and over long
but finite time periods, robust. However, they do possess the potential for radical
qualitative change of kind whilst retaining systemic integrity. Metamorphosis
serves as perhaps more than a metaphor for such transformations [emphasis
mine] (2008).

Intuitively, I think the Cat in the Hat represents chaos – but this image is so tied up with my

personal symbols and childhood memories that the answer might be hard to sort out. But the

value of this intuition might be in recognizing that ―surfing the edge of chaos‖ is an instinctual

move towards change – growth – life.

This project felt more challenging than any other undertaken. I have examined and

explored how others see me, how my ‗lenses‘/perspectives shape my learning process, how much

my sensory appreciation contributes both to the beauty and fullness of my life and the richness of
 13

my thinking, how work and play form the rhythms of my life: a journey to the very centre of my

being, the way I think. It certainly felt risky; perhaps the reward might be characterized as the

group experience in the event I did not plan. Is this the germ of hope for the future of work life in

the organization?

Above all, the corporation demanding creativity from its own employees has as
much changing to do as their workforce. Like water flowing from an underground
spring, human creativity is the wellspring greening the desert of toil and effort,
and much of what stifles us in the workplace is the immense unconscious effort on
the part of individuals and organizations alike to dam its flow (Whyte, D., 1999, p.
21).

Market chaos, economic chaos, political chaos – this is the time we are living through. The

shoots of new life springing up sporadically in this global landscape remind us of the beauty, and

the stark necessity, of creative, open thinking.

Part Two: Reflection

…On the Course

My curiosity and questioning continue unabated, not withstanding the recognition that

these are sometimes perceived as troubling, particularly at the end of long meetings or similar

circumstances. For me, it feels like there will never be enough time to do justice to all those

things that ought to be thought about. I strive for openness and tend to be very analytical when I

have a reaction to something: I want to examine the whys and wherefores of reacting, as opposed

to accepting, assimilating, or welcoming. Most of the material in the course I found quite

delightful, but the reading of the excerpts from the Successful Manager’s Handbook an

excruciating task, as previously reported. My puzzlement over my inability to grasp and retain
 14

these readings was quite genuine; I am self-disciplined and hard-working and diligently read

what was required several times. My self-analysis, which was in-depth and is here compressed to

a few lines, was that the very structure of the readings was what made them difficult for me. The

bulleted-list style and lack of narrative (rather like reading a resume) meant the information

would not ‗flow‘ for me. This is in direct contrast to the reading ―Surfing the Edge of Chaos‖ in

which I did experience Mihály Csíkszentmihályi‘s idea of flow: a loss of sense of time in a

heightened awareness of pleasure and engagement … a leap from synapse to synapse of a host of

ideas and images… This was clearly my favourite discrete little piece of the course. There was

nothing in the course I found threatening.

…On the Journal

My journal for this course consists of 32 single-spaced pages of writing, as well as dozens

of images, bookmarked web pages, and mind maps. I have kept a journal for 43 years now, so it

is not a new experience. However, I do remember my horror when I was asked to submit my

journal in another course; it felt like a violation of privacy because this is a place to explore half-

baked ideas and uncensored thoughts. My journaling has become more circumspect since – pity.

Journaling is not really reflective for me; it is more a marshalling of ideas, or hazy, half-formed

images and impressions which I reflect upon by discussing with other people. This discussion

seems to be integral to the quickening of ideas in my thinking process, though it is not about

finding an agreeable audience – just about bouncing ideas around. When I posted my ‗reflection‘

on the Juan Gris quote, I did hope someone would respond… I conclude from the lack of

response that perhaps there is a collective belief (at least in this group) that reflection is a quiet,

private thing. This ‗bouncing‘, ‗leaping‘, or ‗quickening‘ of ideas does sometimes happen for me
 15

without discussion – as in the ―Surfing the Edge of Chaos‖ reading – but it is this process that

constitutes the assimilation of ideas into coherent patterns for me.

…On the Process

The first few weeks of beginning the final project felt literally like ‗wandering in a dark

wood‘. I have accomplished half a dozen similar projects in the past year; what was different

here? My planning was quite orderly and I made many lists, as well as a mind map, but I was not

enjoying the task. I proceeded through my interviews with a sense of something missing…an

inability to see the gestalt.

One day I was thinking of the instructors I interviewed, and reflecting that I disagreed

with that perspective on teaching. Suddenly, like a clicking into place, I recognized that this need

not be troubling, that it was perfectly proper to hold both viewpoints simultaneously, that in fact I

could take the best of both (or several). I think the best way to describe this is to say that prior to

that moment, this was an intellectual understanding of what one was ‗supposed‘ to do, but after

that moment it became a felt body awareness of ‗suspending judgement‘ meant. I still disagree,

so this is not about ambiguity…I suspect I feel more comfortable disagreeing because I have

genuinely made a space to look at a different opinion. The process of completing the project

brought new understandings, paradigm shifts, the experience of navigating chaos – in short, what

I experienced cannot readily be compressed. I have attempted here only the simplest of outlines,

and must strive for a few words to convey the whole, which might properly belong in the final

section.
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...On Changing

Part of the reason this project has been so difficult to write about is because the

metamorphosis is in progress. The first glimmerings of the process emerged when I recognized

that giving feedback was difficult for many people to do, and that to honour their courage by

listening – by being fully attentive with my heart – was the graceful response. The carapace

cracked a little more when I experienced the authentic meaning of suspending judgement: one

must genuinely consider alternative viewpoints in order to genuinely agree or disagree. The

cracking of the carapace helped to dissipate some anxiety, but not wholly. I have been working

on three papers simultaneously, and each time I come back to this I feel the vague flutterings.

Change?...

I became entranced by the minestrone song, and by the minestrone dance. This is not

about the ‗slow food‘ movement, exciting as that is…It is partly about celebration brought to

everyday tasks, but more about the shine and texture and passionate involvement we can bring to

our lives by engaging all our senses – and by playing with metaphors for those senses. I found the

minestrone dance best performed while wearing red pyjamas with pink and white reindeer on

them.

The mind map exercise took place over three days – I first drew the central image and

basic ordering ideas, and then set the poster-sized drawing where I could meditate on it. At

various times I would add to the imagery – once while I was in the middle of something else I

stopped what I was doing to add a piece. This process of meditation crystallized some ideas about

work and play – and about the rhythms of my life. None of these exercises took the direction I

first intended, and all brought results that were both surprising and disconcerting. I would happily

write another 20 pages about the experiences, but that would avail little, I think. A

metamorphosis unfolds at its own pace.

 17

Writing about the group experience was difficult, too – it was one of the best experiences

of my life. But ―boids‖ captures the essence of the feeling well: a free-wheeling, free-spirited yet

patterned flight…soaring above the clouds but conscious of a direction and purpose…few rules,

but a magnificent collaboration that leaves everyone energized as well as amazed…

―You are lost the instant you know what the result will be‖ (Juan Gris, quoted in
TRU, 2008).

For each of us as humans, the final outcome is death, and we all carry that knowledge

within us. Of course, we do not know the final hour and day in advance, and that is the source of

life‘s terrible beauty and exquisite joy. Knowing the outcome, then, might be akin to knowing our

hour of death: the meditation upon the outcome would undoubtedly colour the experience of the

process. The ‗open‘ in open thinking might best be thought of as open-ended – what will happen?

What might happen? What could happen? Each of these might have potentially disparate

answers.

I had to reach very deeply within myself to conduct this project in a way that had meaning

for me. I recognized the anxiety that seeped out around the edges of not knowing and not

understanding. I had to break the project into manageable chunks to even let the process begin –

analysis was not enough to bring the process to fruition, but a useful place to begin. And I had to

sift and sort a mass of swirling, chaotic imagery – and also to sit with the imagery until the grey

clouds lifted. I suspect that the clouds have only begun to dissipate, but there is no turning back.

Now that the carapace has fallen partly away, I cannot crawl back inside.
 18

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