DIPLOMA IN OFFICE

MANAGEMENT
OM114

Personality Development
OMT100

MARRIAGE
Prepared by
Muhammad Azry Bin Mohd Raya 2010449218
Mohamad Nazrin Bin Nordin 2010446574
Ezzri Daniel Bin Nordin 2010667548
Norhafirah Binti Azmi 2010238114
Nazatul Izzatie Binti Jamaludin 2010420724

Prepared for
Miss Jamilatul Husna Ramli
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT 3
INTRODUCTION 4
MALAY WEDDING 5
CHINESE WEDDING 10
INDIAN WEDDING 14
RECCOMENDATION 17
CONCLUSION 18

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Bissmillahirrahmanirrahim,

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Alhamdulillah. Thanks to Allah SWT, who with His willing give us the opportunity to
complete this assignment which is title Marriage. This assignment was prepared for Miss
Jamilatul Husna Ramli.

Firstly, we would like to express my deepest thanks to, Miss Jamilatul Husna Ramli. We
also want to thanks the lecturers and staffs of Kolej Poly-Tech MARA (KPTM) for their
cooperation during us complete the assignment that had given valuable information,
suggestions and guidance in the compilation and preparation this assignment.

Deepest thanks and appreciation to our parents, family, special mate of mine, and others for
their cooperation, encouragement, constructive suggestion and full of support for the
assignment completion, from the beginning till the end. Also thanks to all of our friends and
everyone, those have been contributed by supporting our work and help our self during the
assignment progress till it is fully completed.

INTRODUCTION
Marriage is perhaps one of the oldest institutions of the world. It is a lifelong relationship
between two individuals who vow to care for each other and share their joys and sorrows,
and promise to support and be supported, by the other.

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Marriages have always been governed by customs, traditions, usages and conventions from
time immemorial. This occasion, marked by joyous celebration of the joining of man and
woman in holy matrimony, is of the bonding, the relative security of two persons, being
together as one unit, part of a family, of a community and, by logical extension, a part of
society. When a man and woman join together, life becomes complete.

MALAY WEDDING

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A Malay wedding is usually performed when either one or both spouses are Malay.
Malaysian law defines a Malay person as a Muslim. The traditional wedding ceremony is in
two parts. The first part is the akad nikah (marriage contract), which is the legal and
religious part of the wedding.

The second part is the bersanding (enthronement), which is a family celebration. It is usual

for the two parts to be celebrated over two days. However, it is becoming common for there
to be a gap between the parts of the wedding, during which the couple are legally married,
but saving up for an elaborate bersanding. In cases where the couple have family spread
around the world, a number of bersanding may be held in different countries to allow
everyone to wish the couple well.

Adat Merisik

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The adat merisik (asking ceremony, or more literally 'spying custom') is the traditional Malay
system for arranging marriages. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family
will look around to identify a number of potential brides. Nowadays, the man might suggest
to his family who he would like them to consider, and it may be that a romantic link already
exists between the man and woman. Having decided upon one particular woman,
the merisik, or investigation process, takes place.

For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the man's family pay a friendly visit
to the family of the woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely
for the purpose of further investigation, and it gives the visitors the chance to see the
woman. A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, and their
reaction will be assessed. The woman's parents may also give the visitors some idea as to
whether or not their daughter would be interested in the match. The merisik does not
constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously
about the possibility or otherwise of a marriage. It is possible that no progress may take
place, and the man's parents or representatives will then look for another possible bride.

Adat Bertunang
The adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home.

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 Akad Nikah

A Malay wedding proper begins with the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The
groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin
(mahar, literally 'marriage gold' in form of money or goods or anything as requested by the
bride). It is opposite to dowry where the mas khawin is paid by the groom to the bride.
The mas khawin is a symbol to show that the men is willing and are prepared to build a
family with the lady he chose to get married to. The contract signing is done before a
religious official and is accompanied by prayer. If the bersanding is to take place the next
day, the couple's hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar (great henna-ing)
ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed, eyebrows shaped and make-up applied by a
beautician, known as the mak andam. Then the bride puts on her tudung (hijab or
headscarf) to cover their hair and a selendang, or embroidered and beaded shawl over that.
A crown is also placed on top of the shawl. If the bersanding does not take place on the day
following the nikah, these preparation customs are delayed until the bersanding.

Bersanding

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The bersanding (enthronement) ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends,
relatives, musicians and people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride.
Often various good-humoured attempts are made to waylay or stop the groom from getting
to the bride. The main part of the bersanding involves the seating of the bridal couple on a
dais and sprinkling them with yellow rice and scented water by family members, relatives
and guests as a sign of blessing.

Each guest will receive a bunga telur (egg flower), a decorated egg with a fabric flower, as a
sign of fertility. The couple are considered royalty for the day, and so various royal customs
are performed for them, including musicians playing court music and 'bodyguards'
performing a display of pencak silat (traditional Malay martial arts).

After the bersanding ceremony

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After the bersanding ceremony, the wedded couple and their guests attend a celebratory
feast called the makan beradab (formal meal). This involves the bride and groom feeding
each other sweetened rice. The celebrations are concluded by posing for family
photographs.

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CHINESE WEDDING

Chinese marriage (Chinese:  婚 姻 ;  pinyin: hūn yīn) is a ceremonial ritual

within Chinese societies that involve a marriage established by pre-arrangement between
families. Within Chinese culture, romantic love was allowed, and monogamy was the norm
for most ordinary citizens.

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 Prehistory Chinese Marriage

Marriages in early societies

In traditional Chinese thinking, people in "primitive" societies did not marry, but had sexual
relationships with one another indiscriminately. Such people were thought to live
like animals, and they did not have the precise concept of motherhood, fatherhood,
sibling, husband and wife, and gender, not to mention match-making and marriage
ceremony.

Part of the Confucian "civilizing mission" was to define what it meant to be a Father or a
Husband, and to teach people to respect the proper relationship between family members
and regulate sexual behaviour.

Mythological origin

The story about the marriage of Nüwa and Fu Xi, who were once sister and brother
respectively, told about how they invented proper marriage procedures after becoming
married. At that time the world was unpopulated, so the siblings wanted to get married but,
at the same time, they felt ashamed. So they went up to Kunlun Shan and prayed to the
heavens. They asked for permission for their marriage and said, “if you allow us to marry,
please make the mist surround us.”

The heavens gave permission to the couple, and promptly the peak was covered in mist. It is
said that in order to hide her shyness, Nüwa covered her blushing face with a fan.
Nowadays in some villages in China, the brides still follow the custom and use a fan to shield
their faces.

Maternal marriage and monogamy

In a maternal marriage, a male would become a son-in-law who lived in the wife’s home.
This happened in the transformation of antithetic marriage into monogamy, which signifies
that the decline of matriarchy and the growing dominance of patriarchy in the ancient China.

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 Traditional Marriage Rituals

Chinese marriage became a custom between 402 and 221 B.C. Despite China's long
history and many different geographical areas, there are basically six rituals, generally
known as the three letters and six etiquette (三書六禮).

Six etiquette
Proposal

When an unmarried boy's parents find a potential daughter-in-law. They then located a
matchmaker whose job was to assuage the conflict of interests and general
embarrassments on the part of two families largely unknown to each other when discussing
the possibility of marriage.

Birthdates

If the selected girl and her parents did not object to the proposal, the matchmaker would
match the birthdates in which Suan Ming is used (Suan Ming is Chinese fortune-telling
technique in which the foreteller could predict people’s future by only using either one’s date
of birth including year, month, date, and time, or hand pattern. Ancient Chinese people
believed that the date of birth determines your future; a good birth date could bring luck not
only to his/her own self, but also to his/her family. Stereotype people still believe that is true)
to predict the future of that couple-to-be. If the result of Suan Ming was good, they then
would go to the next step, summiting bride price.

Bride price (Betrothal gifts)

At this point the bridegroom's family arranges for the matchmaker to present bride
price (betrothal gifts), including the betrothal letter, to the bride's family.

Wedding gifts

The groom's family will then send an elaborate array of food, cakes, and religious items to
the bride's family.

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Arranging the wedding

Before wedding ceremony, two families would arrange a wedding day according to
Chinese Tung Shing, make sure the day is good for wedding in order to assure their good
future would not be affected by choosing a bad day of wedding. In some cases there may be
no auspicious dates and the couple will have to review their chose date range.

Wedding Ceremony

The final ritual is the actual wedding ceremony where bride and groom becomes a married
couple, which consists of many elaborate parts:

Wedding Procession
The wedding procession from the bride's home to the groom's home. The procession
consists of a traditional band, the bride's sedan, the maids of honour’s sedans (if there
are maids of honour), and bride's dowry in the forms other than money.

Welcoming the Bride

The wedding procession of the bride's family stops at the door of the groom's home.
There are ceremonies to be followed to welcome the bride and her wedding procession
into the groom's home, which varies from locale to locale.

Actual Wedding Ceremonies

Equivalent to exchanging vows in the west, the couple would pay respect to the Jade
Emperor, the family deities (or buddhas and bodhisattvas), paying respect to deceased
ancestors, the bride and groom's parents and other elders, and paying respect to each
other.

Wedding banquet
In Chinese society, the wedding banquet is known as xǐ-jǐu ( 喜酒 , literally joyful wine),
and is sometimes far more important than the actual wedding itself. There are
ceremonies such as bride presenting wines or tea to parents, spouse, and guests.

Before modern times, women were not allowed to choose the person they married. Instead,
the family of the bride picked the prospective husband. Marriages were chosen based upon
the needs of reproduction and honour, as well as the need of the father and husband.

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INDIAN WEDDING

Indian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration that continue for
several days. They are not small affairs, anywhere between 100-10000 people attending
(many of whom are unknown to the bride and groom). Though most Indian marriages are
arranged, some couples in urban areas have love marriages. The true Indian wedding is
about two families getting wedded socially with much less emphasis on the individuals
involved.

Many of the wedding customs are common among the Hindus, Jains, Sikhs and even
Muslims. They are a combination of local, religious and family traditions.

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 TRADITIONS
Wedding traditions vary across religion, caste, ethnicity, language, region, etc. Traditional
Indian weddings are generally structured into pre-wedding ceremonies, wedding day
ceremonies (consisting of the Baraat, the Varmala and the Phere), and the Vidaai.

Vidaai is when the bride is formally sent to the groom’s household. It can get quite emotional
even for the most stonehearted. Many heart-wrenching songs have immortalized this
moment when the bride leaves her ‘babul ka ghar’ or father’s house.

An example of the complexity of an Indian wedding can be seen from the various phases of
a wedding in the North. The following events take place in a typical Eastern Uttar Pradesh
Hindu marriage:

According to Hindu religious texts, Brahma created man from the right shoulder and woman
from his left shoulder. A woman is referred to as Vamangi or one who is on the left side.
Throughout the marriage ceremony the bride sits on the right side of the groom. That is the
place for strangers and acquaintances. Only after the Saptpadi, when the bride and groom
have exchanged marital vows, is the wife sealed on the left side of the man.

Bride and groom are told about their duties and responsibilities in married life by priest.
These vows direct the couple to a positive path of action. They help in promoting marital
happiness for a lifetime.

Vows by the Husband

1. I will consider my wife to be the better half. I will look after her just as I look after
myself.
2. Accepting her as in-charge of the my home, I shall plan things in consultation with
her.
3. I will never express dissatisfaction about any shortcomings in my wife. If there are
any, I will explain them to her lovingly. I will support her in overcoming them.
4. I will always have faith in my wife. I will never look at another woman with wrong
intent, nor have an illicit relationship.
5. I will be affectionate and treat my wife like a friend.
6. I'll bring home all my income to my wife. The household expenses will be incurred
with her consent. I will always make an effort to ensure her comfort and happiness.
7. I will not find fault or critical my wife before others. We will sort out our differences
and mistakes in privacy by ourselves.

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 8. I will have a courteous and tolerant attitude towards my wife. I will always follow a
compromising policy.
9. If my wife is unwell, or is unable to fulfil some of the responsibilities or through some
misunderstanding behaves wrongly, I will not withdraw support or refuse to fulfil my
responsibilities towards her.

Kanyadaan
During kanyadaan, the bride’s parents give their daughter away in marriage. The groom
makes three promises – to be just (dharma), earn sufficiently to support his family, (artha)
and love his wife (kama). He repeats these vows thrice in the presence of Agni (the sacred
fire) and all who are gathered there.

Bariksha
Bariksha is when the bride's parents have informally shown intentions that they want a
particular groom, and the groom and his family have agreed. Retracting at the end of this
stage is frowned upon but is acceptable.

Tilak
Tilak involves the bride's parents traveling to the groom's place to formalize the relationship.
A large feast is organized by the groom's family to celebrate this occasion. Only a nominal
number of members of the bride's family are present (usually only very close relatives, often
in tens of numbers. Typically, the female marriage proposal is very rare.

Byaha Haath
Byaha Haath: This ceremony signifies the purifying of the mind, body and soul of bride and
groom. This daytime ceremony prepares both of them for the nuptials. 'Uptan' is a mixed
paste of sandalwood, turmeric and rose water which is applied by seven unmarried female
members of the families and to the faces, hands and feet of the bride and groom. After this
ceremony the bride and the groom are not allowed to step outside the house before the
actual wedding.

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 RECCOMENDATION
A Malay wedding is usually performed when either one or both spouses are Malay.
Malaysian law defines a Malay person as a Muslim. The traditional wedding ceremony is in
two parts. The first part is the akad nikah (marriage contract), which is the legal and
religious part of the wedding.

The second part is the bersanding (enthronement), which is a family celebration. It is usual

for the two parts to be celebrated over two days. However, it is becoming common for there
to be a gap between the parts of the wedding, during which the couple are legally married,
but saving up for an elaborate bersanding. In cases where the couple have family spread
around the world, a number of bersanding may be held in different countries to allow
everyone to wish the couple well.

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 CONCLUSION
From the explanation above we can conclude that marriage is a lifelong relationship between

two individuals who vow to care for each other and share their joys and sorrows, and

promise to support and be supported, by the other. In Malaysia, there are many and

different cultures and race such as Malay, Chinese and Indian. Each culture have a own

identity about marriage.

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