Feb 14, 1602

`Den Middelalderen Issue #16

#16
Den Middelalderen

Interview with Ophelia 3

New King Fortenbras 5
Beauty of the Week 10

Letters to the Editors

Dear Editor

I was really upset by your interview with Ophelia. RESPONSE

It was so unfair to probe her about her father’s
death during her fragile state. You even had the Dear Grey Lady
nerve to make her seem crazy. FOR GODS SAKE I apologize if any of the articles in our
THE WOMAN IS GRIEVING!!! Why would you do publication has insulted you, but our job
something like this to such a sweet nice, young was simply to report the stories a honestly
lady. How dare you insinuate that she gave up her as we can.
purity before marriage? I’m honestly not sure I
would like to read your publication anymore. -Editor

- Grey Lady
 byline
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 Interview with Ophelia
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Having your boyfriend telling you to go to a nunnery, OPHELIA

killing your father and disappearing in a
flash will make someone a little depressed. But it
seemed that Ophelia has gone out of the loop of
herself. One would wonder if she is okay or if she
should go to a nuthouse (correction, a mental
institution). This is what happened when a reporter
interviewed her right after Hamlet’s leave.
REPORTER
Hello Ophelia, how is it going?
(stops mumbling and
stayed silent for a few minutes). Hamlet left? (Stared
out the window with extreme sadness)
REPORTER
He left a few days ago.
His uncle Cluadis sent him away to England for a
vacation. I wonder if you have been anger at Hamlet
for everything that happened recently?

OPHELIA OPHELIA
(mumbles in coherently) (Starts humming a song)
That is an interesting tune. What does the song say?
REPORTER Who is it by? Looks towards the reporter. (Smiling) A
Oh okay, what have little tune that I made up. It’s about a boy and girl. Do
you been doing since these series of event? The you want to hear it?
breakup with Hamlet, the death of your father and
your ex leaving Elsinore? REPORTER
(Hesitantly) Sure. How does it start?

3
(Continued)

of a question like that?!? You noisy little flea jumping

OPHELIA around saying such vile talk! And to think that I would
(Smiles even more) Okay here it goes. How hand you the prettiest flowers I could give, but alast
should I your true love know ,From another you seem to have been a disappointment!! (Crying
one? By his cockle hat and staff, And his sandal hystercally) A lie it is! Everything a lie!!
shoon. He is dead and gone, lady, He is dead
and gone, At his head a grass-green turf, At his (The End of the interview)
heels a stone. White his shroud as the mountain
snow Larded all with sweet flowers, Which Well, with this interview seems to show that Ophelia
bewept to the ground did not go With true-love has go off into another world that seems to be
showers. Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s day, All surrounded by sadness and anger. It has seemed that
in the morning betime, And I a maid at your that world has taken the better of her. In a few days
window, To be your Valentine. Then up he rose, after the interview, Ophelia was seen floating on a
and donned his clothes, And dupped the
small brook near the castle dead. Whether it was an
chamber door. Let in the maid that out a maid
Never departed more. By Gis and by Saint accident or a suicide, Ophelia had a lot to go through.
Charity, Alack, and fie, for shame Young men Hopefully she will be in a better place.
will do ’t, if they come to ’t. By Cock, they are to
blame. Quoth she, “Before you tumbled me,You
promised me to wed.”He answers,“So would I
ha' done, by yonder sun, An thou hadst not
come to my bed.”

REPORTER
(Shocked) Why did the girl do something like
that? She should have known better if she really
wanted to the boy to marry her?
Well she thought that the boy would marry her,
but tricked her, had sex with her AND TOOK THE
MOST PRECESIOUS THING A GIRL COULD
HAVE!!

OPHELIA
(Nervous) Wow, I think that could happen.

REPORTER
You seem like you and the girl could have
something in common. Would it be rude to ask
that you were the girl?

OPHELIA
I would be such a girl! How dare you even think

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5
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