FORGIVENESS LEADS TO ANGER

MANAGEMENT FOR HEALTHY LIVING

BS PRESENTATION

your name
TO ERR IS TO HUMAN ……..
……TO FORGIVE IS TO DIVINE !!!

your name
 The definition of forgiveness
• Forgiveness is a non-verbal concept that cannot be adequately
captured in words.
• We can best know what forgiveness is when we experience
forgiving.
• Words can help to point in the right direction, though, and in
particular clarify what forgiveness is not. Metaphors can also have
a helpful function in providing understanding where words fail.
• It involves a process of dissolving feelings of anger, resentment
and/or hatred towards an individual who is perceived to have
selfishly or maliciously done one deliberate harm, by means of the
cultivation of some degree of compassion towards the offender,
and/or the acceptance of such positive feelings should they
happen to evolve naturally in the victim’s experience.

your name
 FORGIVENESS IS NOT…
• CONDONING OR EXCUSING AN ACTION

• SELF SACRIFICE OR SWALLOWING YOUR TRUE SELF OF

PLAYING THE MARTYR

• EASY, IT CANNOT BE FORCED AND MUST COME ON ITS

OWN

your name
 FORGIVENESS IS…
• GIVING UP THE THOUGHT OF A BITTER PAST AND LOOKING
FORWARD TOWARDS A BRIGHTER FUTURE.

• A PROCESS OF LETTING GO OFF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

THAT HAVE TAKEN OVER YOUR LIFE.

Forgiveness as a healing gift to oneself,

and as radical acceptance of the human
condition.

your name
 The power of forgiveness ....
• It is a gift given to the offender that they do not deserve.

• The offender need not know it has been given. It is a private,

spiritual experience of letting go of anger and resentment and
offering loving kindness to the transcendental, unchanging part of
the offender’s being.

• It is given freely by the person who is doing the forgiving.

Forgiveness means making a commitment to ending the feelings
of anger, resentment or hatred that are harboured towards that
individual.

your name
• By letting the offender off the ‘anger’ hook, you can get off it
yourself, and live a happier life. You are no longer attached to the
offender by a hook, and can let them go.
• It is achieved by giving a gift of compassion to the offender, and
seeing their actions as bad, but the person the offender has the
potential to be as good.
• The process of forgiveness can perhaps be helped by a form of
metta bhavana meditation where you wish the person who has
hurt you transformational experiences in a hypothetical universe,
where they learn through difficult experiences the negative effects
of their behaviour, and where, by means of both negative and
positive experiences, they learn compassion.
• It involves a radical acceptance, on some level, of the world as it
is, with all its serious imperfections.

your name
PROBLEMS IN THE WAY OF
FORGIVENESS

your name
 The experience of ‘unforgiveness’

• Imagine we have (or someone else has) suffered an injustice. It is

something that violates our/their rights and dignity.
• As a result, we feel angry and resentful toward the offender(s).
• Anger, resentment and hatred are painful emotions.
• The more serious the injustice and hurt, the more intense and
protracted the anger and resentment may be.
• We may feel anger and resentment for years and years.
• The person we feel angry towards may not know or care how we
feel, or may be dead.

your name
• Most people would say forgive those who have hurt you and have
done you wrong and just let go of the past. It is easy to say but
much harder to do.

• Forgiving is not an easy task. Letting go of the things that have

caused us pain or suffering is not at all easy.

your name
 WHAT TO DO THEN?
Some suggestive steps which can be followed:

 HEALTHY RESPONSE(to the feeling of hurt and insult):

 acknowledge that you feel hurt.

 to follow the hurt back into its roots in the past to all those times and circumstances
when you felt the same way.

 to avoid the popular response to feelings of hurt and insult.

 forgiveness.

your name
• It’s not easy. But the alternative is to stay stuck right next to them
on that hook. That’s not easy either.

• Forgiveness is a difficult process – but a great opportunity for

personal growth.

• We might consider that perhaps there are no bad people – only

bad actions. The transcendental self of the person who has
harmed you has the potential to act differently if and when they
develop moral wisdom and compassion.

your name
 The effects of unforgiveness
• Psychiatrists find that people who feel incapable of or unwilling to
forgive past hurts experience greater levels of anxiety and
depression.

• They are also at a higher risk of cardiovascular disease and

cancer.

• Psychological and physical symptoms such as stress-related

backache, insomnia and stomach aches are common.

your name
 ANGER MANAGEMENT

All anger is, at its core, a dark and cruel

wish for harm to come upon the person
who hurt you.

your name
The truth is, anger may be a “natural”—that is, a
commonly occurring—social reaction to hurt and
insult, yet being natural doesn’t make it good for us.

There is never such a thing as “justifiable”

anger.

your name
 Organize your mind
for six minutes every hour to control
anger.
your name
Say sorry at the right moment to reduce
the anger of others.

For every 10 minutes you are angry you

lose 600 seconds of happiness.

your name
A short pencil is better than a long
memory.
Use it to reduce your anger.
your name
We cannot change others as easily as we
can change ourself.
your name
 Aristotle’s Challenge

Anyone can become angry -- that is easy.

But to be angry
• with the right person,
• to the right degree,
• at the right time,
• for the right purpose, and
• in the right way --

this is not easy.

your name
Learn to FORGIVE &
MOVE ON…

with SMILE your name

your name