Expectations

Deeper knowledge of self

Understand our behavior

New ways of how to boast self Esteem

At what stage of life is self esteem enhanced or

affected
Blocks to self esteem

Effects of low/high self esteem

Is self awareness about nurture or nature

Monitor fears and how to overcome them

Understand our reactions to self and others

SELF AWARENESS
AND
SELF ESTEEM
 “Within you is an extraordinary potentials for extending
greater kindness & compassion for self…. The solid
foundation for super love is self acceptance and
learning TO LOVE THOSE ASPECTS OF SELF that in
the past I REJECTED OR DENIED. In order to more
fully accept yourself and successfully grow in
relationships. You need to see without shame or blame
who you are.” (Anne Naylor in Super love).

“Knowing others is intelligence;

knowing yourself is true
wisdom. Mastering others is
strength; Mastering yourself is
true power”
TAO TE CHING
 WHAT IS SELF AWARENESS
DEFINATION

 Self-awareness is a self-conscious state where

you are focused on yourself, your thoughts,
feelings, emotions, beliefs, values, and well-being
 It’s often said, "We cannot change what we will
not see." Self-awareness is the process of
acknowledging not only our strengths, but our
weaknesses as well; a process of opening our
eyes to see ourselves differently.
SELF AWARENESS

• Knowing: consciousness about

what I feel, think or sense. It is
deeper than just being
conscious, hence it involves all
our senses smell, sight,
hearing, touch and taste).
SELF AWARENESS
• Becoming self- aware entails
listening to your:
o Body- biological me

o Emotions – affective me (energy to

action
o Soul –spiritual me

o Mind – intellectual me

• And taking action based on what you

notice
Self awareness cont….

• Awareness is becoming present in the present

moment. It is coming home to myself. When I
am present to myself, I am present to you.
• Like the glow of a live coal, it is illumination
from within. Awareness leads to spontaneity
and freedom
 Self awareness cont….

• Self-awareness is a
process. The more
we do it, the better we
become at it. As you
become more in tune
with your body the
more often you
respect it.
SELF AWARENESS…

WHY SELF AWARENESS?

• For most people, self-awareness is a life-

long journey (some say a many-lives
journey!) Because as you master
something, you reach a new level of
awareness of what you can still choose to
master.
SELF AWARENESS…

WHY SELF AWARENESS?

• Knowing that your journey is long,

is perhaps the greatest
awareness you can have! But
these tips can help you in taking
some first steps on your journey
to self-awareness:
WHY SELF AWARENESS CTD ..

Practicing self awareness, leads to

consciousness, the proper awareness
outside of one’s true self.

This dynamic practice ;-

Empowers it’s practitioners to fully
embrace joy and purpose beyond task and
obligation.
mitigates painful thoughts and emotions.
WHY SELF AWARENESS CTD ..

• Being self aware:

 provides a new venue for the mind to

free itself from imposed limitations
harnesses the power of dynamic and
meaningful connection with others in all
facets within one’s life.
• Reflection on my origin:

• Family, - parents, brothers, sisters and relatives

• Time, date of birth (and 3 other key things in your
life)
• Place, village, school, community, church
• Friends both in school and at home
• Hobbies
• What are your values – family & individual

Questions:
How is each of the above factors influencing your
life today? Positively or Negatively
 Exercise:

DRAW AN IMAGE OF YOURSELF:

BODY
EMOTIONS
SOUL
MIND
WHO AM I?
• Relationship with
yourself begins with
self-awareness.
Then from self-
awareness you can
move to accepting
yourself.
 Scripture Text

“I praise you because I am

fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are
“Because you are precious wonderful”, Psalms 139:14
in my eyes, and honored,
and I love you, I give men
in return for you, peoples
in exchange for your life”.
Is. 43:4
• I am “Special, unique and precious” Isaiah 43:4

• I am wonderfully made Psalm 139:14

• He loves us from the very beginning. ‘I have

loved you with an everlasting love…’Jer.31:3

Created in the image

and likeness of God
 Blocks to self awareness
• Interior noise
• Tensions
• Resistance
(consciously/unconsciously
• Distractions
• Avoidance
• Low self esteem
 Goal for self-
awareness
 healing and growth (wholeness)

 self acceptance

 to come home to self (being in touch with our truest selves)

 produce fruits of change according to our deepest and

truest nature.
 Awareness is the work of the Holy Spirit in us. The counsellor, the
Holy spirit…. When he comes; He will make you aware of all these
things. (Jn.14:26)
SELF AWARENESS…

STEPS TO SELF AWARENESS

1. Self observation and analysis:
Ask yourself self- examined questions e.g.

 Is the real you different than the

identity that shows up in the
world?
 Are you really “passionate”
about your work, your life?
SELF AWARENESS…

STEPS TO SELF AWARENESS

• These are just some of the hard hitting, self

examined questions that expose our true
selves beyond the fears and identities we

hold sacred.
SELF AWARENESS…

• Only by asking ourselves new questions can we

explore new possibilities in our lives!
• Being our own observer from a third person
perspective, allows us to step outside of our
emotionally reactive selves and gain an unbiased
vantage point to uncover the hidden motives of our
un- serving behaviors and ask the tough questions.

NB. How can your friends, family and

community understand your motives and
ideals if you don’t understand them?
SELF AWARENESS…

2. Understanding the ego.

 The only one true obstacle to our self

awareness, consciousness and freedom is
the many devices and masks of the ego –
(the inner opponent that is responsible for our
every unconscious word thought or action.)
SELF AWARENESS…

2. Understanding the ego…..

 The ego convinces us to adopt false ideas,

unsubstantiated fears and to operate in conflict
with others. We operate in a system of
hierarchies, and in this system (in most cases),
we become polarized to see others as either
less than or greater than ourselves.
• The Integrative personality model
• (Fr. Len Kofler’s personality model)

Higher Self
EMBODIMENT

Middle Self

Lower Self
SELF AWARENESS…

 The constant emotional roller coaster of this

philosophy creates active hindrances to our
growth and furthers our disconnection with others.
 For instance, we might be challenged to think that
networking with a competitor might be mutually
beneficial or we might “rule out” an opportunity
because of low self esteem.
SELF AWARENESS…

3. Diversity: Embracing others

• One great aspect practicing self awareness is that once
the ego has been revealed it is automatically
weakened. In its weakened state, one can start to
embrace the uniqueness and diversity of all others.
• The diversity of the once “Other Person’ could not be
seen as threatening anymore, but admired and
respected.
 SELF AWARENESS…

• As we take responsibility for our fears that created the

aforesaid “Us vs. Them” program, we can freely create
relationships and new communications without
judgmental boundaries, borders or unrealistic criteria.
• By withdrawing our investment in the ego’s social
programming, we can elevate our living together,
relationship/business practices with new creative
methodologies and new contributors.
SELF AWARENESS…
4. Parenting your “inner child”
• Inside every human resides a “little boy or little girl”
version of their adult selves. This “inner child”
carries all the unresolved issues of low self esteem,
fairness, abandonment and inability to let go of the
past to create something better for them.
SELF AWARENESS…

4. Parenting your “inner child”

• When triggered, this child
emerges and exhibits
uncomplimentary behaviors that
are a by-product from hurt
emotions.
The inner child, like most children,
does not understand “place and
time” appropriateness, makes poor
decisions and can emerge at the
most inopportune times.
SELF AWARENESS…

• One of the tools for the practice of self

awareness is to learn how to develop a
line of communication with this “inner
child”. By self observation, one’s “adult
self” can learn to effectively become a
powerful liaison, comforter and most
importantly a parent for their “child self”.
SELF AWARENESS…

5. Understanding the drive of conflict.

• The source of all conflict is the concept that we
operate in a world of lack and need to fight to pool
limited resources (food, money) to pay for our
survival.
• To survive in this space and remain competitive we
must protect our identities as the “The smartest”,
“Most competent” or “I am a warrior” I am …etc.
This is a false yet self fulfilling identity.
SELF AWARENESS

6. Fear- the opposite of being present

Fear is the belief that an unpleasant event from

the past can or will reproduce itself in the
future.

This event can be something that was

experienced personally or exposed to from

third person observation or another medium. 34

SELF AWARENESS

• All fear exists outside of the present moment. It

creates a false story about a timeline that isn’t
real or happening and is a projection of loss,
limitation and lack.
• By staying present and aware within each
moment does annihilate fear and is a major
component of emotional mastery and self
awareness.
35
SELF AWARENESS

7. Releasing Attachment to Outcomes

• One of the most liberating components to the

practice of self awareness is the releasing of oneself
from the expectation and anticipation to outcomes.

• Expectation and anticipation are products of the

future in the linear time line and though it can be
influenced by our intentions, it cannot be controlled

36
SELF AWARENESS

7. Releasing Attachment to Outcomes

 How many events and projects have come to

fruition exactly as planned?
How much emotional energy was carelessly
spent on attachment to its outcome?
How can anyone create something better
than they already know?

37
SELF AWARENESS

• Getting out of our own way creates a space for

something bigger to unfurl.

• It is through the release of attachment and control

that yields a natural more beautiful outcome.

38
 SELF AWARENESS

8. Identifying Self Limiting beliefs / Insecurities

• Another device of the ego is the internal

dialogue it uses to perpetuate our fears, false
beliefs and feelings of inadequacy.

• It is that little voice that whispers

• “You’re not good enough”,
• “You don’t deserve that kind of success.”
• or “They will think I am imperfect.”

39
 This voice of false self-limiting
ideations that can only be undone by
identifying the neuro-program’s origin,
challenging its credibility then
redefining it to serve one’s desires
and full potential
 SELF AWARENESS

9. Forgiveness of Self and others:

Another powerful technique

for self awareness is forgiveness.

How much I desire that the year

to come will be steeped in
mercy, so that we can go out to
every man and woman, bringing
the goodness and tenderness of
God!.....
The Face of Mercy .. By pope Francis
Pg. 9 No. 5
41
What are we judging about ourselves?

What act or past deed are we still hanging ourselves

for and refusing to forgive?
These are some of the questions we need to ask.
SELF AWARENESS

• The old saying “hurt people, hurt

people”, exemplifies that people in their
own perceived survival will do whatever
they need to do to survive. Similar to the
idea of a drowning man getting rescued
will, in his fear, inadvertently drown his
rescuers.

43
SELF AWARENESS

• The act of holding grudges is an act of war

against oneself. Anger and sorrow towards
another or oneself is carried internally as
emotional pain and can only be released
through forgiveness. This emotional pain, if
prolonged, is scientifically proven to manifest
as physical illness.

44
SELF AWARENESS

• The target of one’s anger or pain (the enemy) is

not at the affect of this covert attack and is free
from assault. It is only when one forgives
themselves for partnering with the ego to create
an enemy does the healing begin.

45
Forgiveness of ourselves and others in
“survival” depersonalizes the “crime” and frees
the self aware practitioner and peace seeker
from shame, anger and emotional illness.
 SELF AWARENESS
10. Acknowledging our False realities.

• Part of being self aware is understanding that everyone

shares a different neuro-program based upon their unique life
experiences and beliefs.

• The ego’s need for self validation causes us to impose our

thought systems and ideals upon others. Simply stated we
look for validation by finding or creating others to be just like
us and we rid ourselves of those who refuse to comply. This
can cause us to live in a world of false beliefs about others
and greatly limit our business and social lives. 47
 SELF AWARENESS
11. Meditation: Freedom from stress, connection
to infinite self- GOD!

• We live in a world of five sense reality where

everything physical can be observed from all of
these senses. Our consciousness lives in this state
of materiality even when we sleep. One of the best
practices for stress management is to bring your
awareness to a place of non materiality. Meditation
is that very place.
48
 SELF AWARENESS

• Meditation has been proved to have many beneficial

physiological effects. Meditation lowers blood pressure,
lowers oxygen consumption, decreases respiratory rate,
increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
• Meditation increases exercise tolerance in heart patients,
leads to a deeper level of relaxation, reduces anxiety
attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate and
decreases muscle tension (any pain due to tension) and
headaches.

•(mindfulness) 49
 SELF AWARENESS

• Meditation is a practice of silence of the mind. In this

space of “nothingness” a quiet mind can open up to new
solutions to age old personal issues, help redefine old
ideas and reshape how one perceives oneself and the
world.

• Without restricting beliefs, all possibilities are open and

new information flows in. Many of the world’s most
famous contributors have attributed their breakthrough
ideas and inventions to visions they encountered during
meditation.
50
 ``In the spiritual order, silence is the state in
which the most precious values are born'',
said Pope John Paul II.
• But silence is extinct today. We are
besieged by the man-made cacophony of
civilisation.
 SELF AWARENESS
Summary
• The practice of the methodologies of self
awareness is a difficult practice.
It requires the self aware seeker to look at
themselves and their external world in a manner
that challenges their sacred beliefs.

It is only through shifting ones focus from a self

centered “I” perspective to a third person “eye”
perspective that one can see a reality unveiled
from the protective masks of the ego.

52
 SELF AWARENESS

The process of self awareness experience;-

 Transforms and releases old ideas, opinions and

believes into new more expansive, infinite
perspectives that empower the seeker to
outperform in every facet of their lives.
 It frees the seeker from fear and limitations and
creates a more joyous, stress free, peaceful
existence in and out of the workplace.

53
 Self-acceptance

• “The act of self-acceptance is the root

of all things. I must agree to be the
person who I am, agree to have the
qualifications which I have, agree to live
within the limitations set out for me. The
clarity and the courageousness of this
acceptance is the foundation of all
existence”. (Romano Guardini)
 • Question: who am I and what do I want to be?
• In my answer I ought to spell out my
values and principles
• When I want to know myself more I can
use Johari’s window
Open Blind
Known to others but not me
Known to me & others

Hidden Dark
Known to self Hidden to others Nobody knows except God
How to maintain self awareness
• It is a process that
cannot be attained but I
have to work at
maintaining it
• Commitment to growth
process through a
constant effort to
evaluating my life
How to maintain self awareness

• Commitment to my spiritual
life daily

• Commitment to self love

• Creating quiet moments

within the daily activities
Closing prayer:
God, my creator, grant me a
gracious heart and a positive
love of my entire self-body
and spirit. May I embrace the
story of my body, heal the
wounds, celebrate the joys,
and begin a new and more
wonderful chapter in my
story.
 God's Word
Better be poor if healthy and fit
than rich if tormented in body.
Health and strength are better than
any gold,
a robust body than untold wealth.
No riches can outweigh bodily health,
no enjoyment surpass a cheerful
heart.. .
Do not abandon yourself to sorrow,
do not torment yourself with brooding.
Gladness of heart is life to anyone,
joy is what gives length of days.
Give your cares the slip, console your
heart,
chase sorrow far away;
for sorrow has been the ruin of many,
Closing prayer: God, my creator,
and is no use to anybody.
grant me a genial heart and a
positive love of my entire self-body Jealousy and anger shorten your
and spirit. May I embrace the story of days,
my body, heal the wounds, celebrate and worry brings premature old age.
the joys, and begin a new and more (Ecclesiasticus 30:14-16,21-24)
wonderful chapter in my story.