LE NURB 21 September 2008

Credits Editorial
This months burning question, what
A word from Ben Moxey, Union of
is your favourite summer tune? Brunel Students Media Officer and
editor extraordinaire!
Editor: Well, here goes for another year at Brunel.
And this year will be a good ‘un!
Ben Moxey Before you is the Freshers edition of Le Nurb, crafted by experienced
‘(Mucho Mambo)Sway’ by Shaft (and old!) hands. We hope you enjoy!
In here is stock of information useful to Freshers (p.4), a word from
Designer: your President (p.7) and round up of all the sports that took place this
summer (p.15-16). The only thing missing is what I like to call ‘The 5
Sarah Francis
questions’: “What’s your name, where are you from, what are you studying,
‘Boys of Summer’ by Don Henley
what halls are you in and what was
your name again?, I forgot”. Use “...We need writers, editors,
News Writer: these wisely and you can start off layout designers, photographers
many a friendship, I’m sure.
Mustafa Kaiser and the most important thing is
Apart from that, I’m not fully
'Toca's Miracle' by- Fragma
sure what to write in here (being my we need feedback. Feedback
first Le Nurb..). But one thing I will from you, the Brunel public....”
Sports Writer: say is that we need new students
Ben Vallely constantly here at Le Nurb (and our sister, the radio station, URB). We need
‘Hysteria’ by Muse writers, editors, layout designers, photographers and the most important
thing is we need feedback. Feedback from you, the Brunel public.
So please, drop me a line, or accost me in Freshers week.
Feature Writers:
Donna Law
‘All Summer Long’ by Kid Rock
Mike Ryder
Contents
'Summer Song' by Joe Satriani
Le News p.2 Hellboy 2 p.11
Sam Middlewood
Mustafa Kaiser Alex Sergeant
'Island in the Sun’ by Weezer

Welcome to A Student’s Life p.12

Roving President:
Brunel p.4 Michael Ryder
Jay Patel
‘Rise Up’ by Yves Larock Donna Law
What’s on in Freshers
A Presidential Week? p.13
Music Reviewer: Union of Brunel Students
Hello p.7
Laura Watts
Jay Patel
‘Pjanoo’ by Eric Prydz
Snow Club p.14
Get Involved p.8 Sam Middlewood
Film Reviewer: Ben Moxey
Alex Sergeant Le
‘In the Summertime’ by Mungo Jerry Get Down Sport p.15
Convention p.9 Ben Vallely
Laura Watts
If you’d like your name to appear
here, get in touch with the editor
at media.officer@brunel.ac.uk You don’t mess with the
Zohan p.10
Alex Sergeant

1
 Le News
Heathrow’s Terminal 5…and then the swift closing. Within 2
weeks of being open, over 500 flights were cancelled and
28,000 bags had flown solo.
Many domestic and short-haul flights were affected
By Mustafa Kaiser
with bags having to be sent to Italy for re-sorting. Other issues
included a
The Olympics disabled “...there are teething issues which can
Every four years we see something new at the Olympics and passenger, be fixed with a finger of brandy; and
this year was no different. Beijing hosted a remarkable event being stuck there are teething issues where all of
and a stunning opening ceremony. on the plane you teeth fall out, get sent to Italy by
This was followed by games, in which new records for an hour mistake and then your dentist refuses
to find out whose mouth they are now
were set. Usain Bolt of Jamaica broke and then
getting left in...”
3 world records in 3 races winning 3
in the road
gold medals (they say it’s a magic
outside, as he was unable to get up the high kerbs and into
number…) becoming the star of the
2008 Beijing Olympics. Bolt's the building without assistance.
BA’s chief exec, Willie Walsh, put this down to ‘staff
9.69 seconds in the 100 metres,
19.30 s in the 200 metres and 37.10 s familiarisation’ and ‘teething issues’. Now, frankly Mr Walsh,
in the 4x100 metres were recorded as there are teething issues, like the kind you have as a toddler,
which can be fixed with a finger of brandy (didn’t everyone
the fastest ever legal times. This
officially makes him the fastest man in have that?); and there are the teething issues where all of you
teeth fall out, get sent to Italy by mistake and then your
the world.
dentist refuses to compensate you or find out whose mouth
China grabbed 51 gold, 21 silver and 28 bronze
they are now in. Which one is this then?
medals adding up to a total of 100 medals. The United
States, Russia and Great Britain following closely behind.
In the closing ceremony, the Olympic flag was Blimey! That’s a Sheila?!
handed to London mayor Boris Johnson, with organisers
briefly showcasing the 2012 Games. In the closing ceremony In Mt Isa, Australia, the town mayor has demanded that
Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin emerged from more ugly women move to the town, due to the alarming rate
the top of a Routemaster, as you do, and performed Led of dateless men. He told a local newspaper: "May I suggest if
Zeppelin’s ‘Whole lotta love’ while David Beckham kicked off there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where
the 2012 countdown there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask
(quite literally) by booting
“...our medal haul could well break them to proceed to Mount Isa."
a ball at the bus, sending
into the top 3 for the first time in
Obviously, this upset the local female population,
91,000 fans wild in the
decades. And now we have home
who demanded an apology and forced him to
Bird's Nest.
advantage…”
back-pedal furiously. “I said beauty-disadvantaged,
With new sports beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Beauty can be
being added to the Team GB line-up, most notably Football a good set of teeth, beauty is nice wavy hair. Beauty can be
(maybe..), our medal haul could well break into the top 3 for blue eyes or green eyes” No word as yet from the Beautiful
the first time in decades. And now we have home Alliance of Brown Eyes, but press expect BABE to say
advantage…. nothing and look pretty.

Terminal Destination Who is this Icarus?

The 27th of March was due to be a celebatory time for BA A UK-built solar-powered plane has set an unofficial world
and BAA, as the culmination of 7 years of building, 26 years endurance record for a flight by an unmanned aircraft.
of planning and £4.3bn spent saw the official opening of

Abstinence-only sex education?

American Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has hit the headlines with what could arguably
be called the most ironic story of the year - her 17 year old unmarried daughter is pregnant. Ms.
Palin is a staunch opposer of comprehensive sex education, favouring instead the “abstinence
only” approach, which teaches saying no, and doesn’t include information on contraceptives.
Ironic, really, as her daughter’s experience proves it doesn’t work...!

2
 The Zephyr-6, as it is known,
kept flying for more than three days,
running through the night on batteries it
had recharged in sunlight. The flight was
a demonstration for the US military,
which is looking for new types of
technology to support its troops on the
ground. The Zephyr flew non-stop for
82 hours, 37 minutes. This amazing,
new technology is primarily designed to
aid the military in spy work, but makers
claim some commercial roles may be
available in the future. This all sounds
great, solar powered flight, soaring
through the sky, emitting no harmful
toxins or CO2s, free with the birds and
no morality issues of melting ice caps.
That said it is SOLAR POWERED. I
cant imagine an airline willing to buy it
up, for fear of a grounded fleet, due to
‘heavy dimness’. Only Air Jamaica. Or
possible Virgin will hook up the light
gleaming from Branson’s massive
smile….
Ex-Box
While the Americans are gearing up to
register for the upcoming presidential
elections using their X-Box 360’s, the
Japanese have completely run out of
Shaquille Smith, 14, has joined down, with younger and younger
them. Microsoft faced one of the biggest
challenges in Western games console
For whatever reason that young
marketing, officially reporting complete
stock sell-out of machines in Japan,
considered the home of games consoles.
Microsoft showed its surprise in
an official statement, saying (translated):
"Our own sales targets have been
exceeded by the actual customer sales.
We deeply apologise for any
inconvenience to our customers, retailers
and business partners." Microsoft
meanwhile claim their ‘CrystalBall 2.0’
contains a few bugs…
NEWSFLASHES:
• The fossilised skull of an "extremely rare" steppe mammoth has been discovered in southern France.
• A large slice of cake made for the wedding of Lady Diana Spencer and Prince Charles has been sold at
auction.
• Tesco is to change the wording of signs on its fast-track checkouts to avoid any linguistic dispute. “10
Items or less” will become “Up to 10 items” to avoid the less/fewer debate.
• Census data reveals that some 100,000 young men have left Australia, leading to a serious "man-
drought".
3
Something for the weekend,
sir?
Dubai is the hottest thing around right
now and we all know it.
Along with the biggest collection of
man-made islands and the stunning
Palm Hotel, it is home to the world’s
first seven star hotel the Burj (Achieved
by having a stretch of motorway from
the airport to the hotel, for the use of
guests only!) and, now, has the world’s
first underwater hotel under-
construction called the Hydropolis.
The Hydropolis is one of the largest construction projects in the world covering an
area of 260 hectares, about the size of London's Hyde Park, and will cost an
estimated £300 million. It is self-acclaimed to be a 10-star hotel (no idea how they
get the motorway to go underwater..) and has 220 suites. The hotel will be ready
by 2009.
It has been designed by Joachim Hauser of Germany. All the hotel parts are made
in Germany and are being assembled in Dubai. The expected room prices will vary
from £ 250 to £ 3500 per night.
at the figures for the last 10 years the
How Many? number of knife victims has remained
I thought I’d take a second in this blurb relatively stable - although there have
of news to be serious. As the instances of been spikes - at 200 to 220 a year. But
there is some evidence the demographic
knife crime rise in London, the latest
child (that’s right, child) has been stabbed has changed. The average age of
homicide victims overall has been going
to death by youth, say Met Police.
victims.”
the ranks of Londoners killed on the
streets of the capital. The numbers now
people carry knives, for respect, for pride,
reach into the 100s for this year alone.
for looking cool; none are a good enough
The Government and, the Home
reason to explain to Shaquille’s parents.
Secretary, Jacqui Smith will point to
As they come to terms with the loss of
figures claiming that violent crime has
their daughter, London’s population must
decreased by 41% over the last 10 years
steel themselves for increased vigilance. If
and that knife crime only makes up 8%
you see anything suspicious, even if it
of the remaining crimes…..but the
figures don’t include under 16s, and that ‘doesn’t concern you’, I implore you to
ring the Met Police or Crimestoppers
is where the damage is being done.
(completely anonymous – 0800555111).
Richard Garside, the director of the
For more info, visit
Centre of Crime and Justice Studies at
Kings College London, said: "If you look droptheweapons.org
 Brunel
University is
(according to
the
University) a
“stone’s
throw” away
from central
London.
Actually it’s
several
hundred of
your average
“stone’s
throws” but
we’ll let that
slide....
maybe.

Welcome to Brunel
By Donna Law

Congratulations, your name, where are you from, what
you’ve made it! are you studying, and what halls are
You’ve found the you in?” Half of the people you meet
right halls of in Freshers Week you will never bump
residence, into again, but equally many a firm
inevitably waded friendship has been forged over a
through the takeaway pitcher of Snakebite.
menus already piling up at your flat
door (and if you haven’t yet, you will), Of course, a little variety never hurts,
and met the ever-enthusiastic, eager- so there is also the Hub bar to check
to-help crew in brightly coloured t- out, upstairs in the Union building – a
shirts. These are your ‘contacts’, and slightly more laid-back atmosphere,
your best friends for Freshers Week, but equally as enjoyable. Both places
ready to show you what Brunel has to serve food if you can’t bear the
offer. thought of cooking for yourself just
yet, as well as the ‘More’ refectory and
So, what is there? I highly Café
recommend Loco’s as “...many a firm friendship has Rococo,
your first port of call, been forged over a pitcher of giving
your Union bar, and host Snakebite...” you
to many a good social ample
event. Here you will no doubt discover choice of somewhere to grab a bite on
the Brunel’s songs and halls chants led campus. For the sporting among you,
by, yes them again, your contacts. Bar Zest is upstairs in the sports
Slightly inebriated singing aside, this is centre, giving you the perfect place to
one of the easiest places to meet many relax after a game with friends or a
of your fellow freshers, and ask and be gym session, and the Pavilion bar, by
asked the essential questions: “What’s the sports pitches, offers the
opportunity to unwind after
Wednesday matches.
In terms of nightlife, Brunel has its
very own nightclub on campus, The
Academy. More fondly referred to as
“The Academy of Dreams” or
“Accaders” it offers a whole variety of
music nights to suit everyone’s tastes,
as well as comedy nights, live football
on the big screen and other events
besides. Don’t forget to buy your
tickets early to avoid disappointment,
although there are more available on
the door. At the end of the night, if
you’re feeling peckish, you can always
take advantage of Pronto, our fast
food outlet on campus. For an
alternative venue, check out the
Liquid & Envy nightclub in town.
Wednesdays is the student night to be
at, with the new Pub 2 Club venture:
drinks in Loco’s, followed by GET
LOST@Liquid – (friendlier than it
sounds..) the all new student event
being launched this academic year.
The walk home at the end of the
night will no doubt see many of you

4
 attempting to climb ‘the Embankment’ food and drink you can’t go wrong with whether you’re an undergraduate or
beneath the roundabout leading into The Good Yarn, the local Wetherspoons, postgraduate, home student or
town, cos you just have to. or the Metropolitan Bar. For those of you international, staying locally or
looking for live music, the Crown and commuting, there is something for
Whilst there are two shops on Treaty at the far end of town is the place everyone to get involved with. Don’t
campus – the campus store and to be. For the best Sunday roast, I highly forget Thursday is when Freshers Fayre
Costcutter – for you to buy any essentials, recommend the Load of Hay, situated takes place, so you can join up to your
or just a snack between lectures, just off of Cleveland Road at the front of favourite sports and societies, or even
inevitably you will have to venture into campus. Of course none of them are as take up something new!
Uxbridge town at some point. Just a 15 good as the union bars…ahem.
minute walk, or a short bus ride from Stay safe, have fun, and welcome to
either side of campus, Uxbridge town If it’s fitness you’re after, Brunel Brunel!
centre has plenty to offer. With two has plenty of sports facilities available for
shopping centres, numerous pubs, coffee all to use – both socially and
shops, restaurants, a library, an Odeon competitively – as well as Fitness First
cinema, a snooker club, a Tesco Metro, a and Virgin Active in town.
Sainsbury’s and various other shops Unfortunately, there is no swimming
beside, you won’t be short of things to pool at Brunel, but there are local pools
do. Of course, if that’s not enough for just a bus ride away from campus with
you, Uxbridge is student
served by both the memberships
“...eventually the sight of
Metropolitan and available. However,
teenage mutant ninja turtles
Piccadilly London there is a new
and other childhood heroes
Underground lines, leisure centre
wandering through campus at
leaving you just an development taking
night won’t cause you to even
hour from central place in Uxbridge,
bat an eyelid!”
London. Don’t with an Olympic-
forget to top up your Oystercard on sized swimming pool set to be
campus for cheaper fares and, if you’re completed in 2009.
going for a night out, don’t forget that the
N207 night bus service takes you back to Campus life is a vibrant one,
campus – provided you can find the right although I’m sure you’ll soon become
bus stop first! Alternatively for travel, the accustomed to its oddities; eventually
nearest rail station is West Drayton, just a the sight of teenage mutant ninja turtles
short bus ride from campus. and other childhood heroes wandering
through campus at night won’t cause
If you need somewhere to relax you to even bat an eyelid! For some,
in town with new friends, there are, as Brunel is just a place to earn a top
mentioned before, numerous pubs to degree, for others it’s a way of life.
choose from. It’d be pointless to mention Whichever it is to you, this is your
them all here, but for reasonably priced Freshers week to enjoy. Regardless of

THINGS YOU MUST DO IN YOUR FIRST YEAR:

• Shop in Sports Soccer's 'Closing Down' sale (3 years and counting)

• Order anything from Yumchi's Chinese takeaway

• Go to the unsigned bands night at the Crown and Treaty on a Thursday night

• Ride the N207 (extra points for going AWAY from Uxbridge first time)

• Stand outside, with a cup of tea, watching security turn off the Fire Alarm, for the 3rd time that night

• Walk back from town with EXACTLY three more Tesco bags than you can carry

• Go to lectures in your PJs and slippers

• Run for the tube train, only to then sit there for 20 minutes, out of breath and panting, before the doors close

• Run up the Embankment outside Liquid, in the Subway.

• Use the charity shops in town to buy fancy dress items for the Monday night, and feel like you've done something good,
even though that hat was only 50p.

5
6
 This year’s Exec from left to right:

Raj (VP Services & Marketing); Teresa (Equality &

Diversity); Jay (President); Ben (Media); Simi
(Sports); Dawn (Volunteering); Nat (VP Education &
Welfare) and Razwan (Campaigns). Missing is Nick
Ince (VP Student Activities) but we’ll let him have
his very own picture in the next issue!

A Presidential Hello
By Jay Patel

Right! I have a full change, and now I embark on a year By Christmas 2004, I had
page within which long goodbye to an experience which decided to go on a one man mission to
I have been asked has changed me forever. When I first make the most of my university
to write an article. got to Brunel, I was welcomed by the experience and to change, for the
Of sorts. About concrete jungle of Isambard (as you better, the experiences of my fellow
something…. Of will soon notice if you haven’t already, students. The union was my passage,
which I am unsure. But here goes! it is now amazing) and I recall but the students were, and remain, the
I have promised myself that thinking this is going to be tough! I key. I had to go out and find what I
over the course of this year, I will try spent the first few months looking for was looking for and break the cliques
and stay away from a way which existed in the union. If you
ranting and raving in the out. I don’t drink, play sport or like
“...Change is difficult to deal
union paper, but as it is missed nightclubs, this does not mean you
with; some of you will thrive,
the first edition, it would home, I should be excluded from being able to
some of you will struggle, but
be criminal of me not to. missed have a good time! To this end, I
either way you WILL be ok.”
So where shall I start? my believe the union has changed
The Olympics. As I sit friends substantially over the past few years
here writing, we have currently won and I had made no new ones and I and so it should have. Coming here is
17 Gold medals and old Brunel boy was skint. Those were different times a challenging experience. The student
Phillips has yet to jump, Usain has and this was, indeed, a very different community here is diverse, profoundly
destroyed opposition and annoyed the place. Brunel gave me a challenge, cultural and for many will be an
head of the IOC because he is too thus in turn, it gave me a purpose. I experience which at first is incredibly
good; and poor old Paula is still had always envisioned being at foreign to them. I urge you not to
reeling. Arsenal have surprised me by university a challenge, but also the worry if you are not having as much
signing a United player and good old making of me as a man (GRR!). I had fun as you initially thought you would.
Gordon is taking a break and been only been 18 for three weeks Change is difficult to deal with; some
preparing for another year of bashing when I turned up; young, naïve and of you will thrive, some of you will
in the houses of Westminster. ignorant to the world. I now start my struggle, but either way you WILL be
Only one year ago, I was last year at the tender age of 22, (yes I ok.
sitting here writing an article for Le look older, leave the beard alone!) So, to move away from a blog
Nurb, having only been president for a having graduated, type article, I
couple of months and went about been president for “...Last years theme was to shall finish by
strewing and straining the importance two years and badger you to get involved and saying,
of ‘Getting Involved’ in the many having met some conform. This year I urge you to welcome to all
areas of union life which are open to of the most be yourselves!” newbie’s,
you. This year, I have decided on a eclectic, awesome welcome back
different tact. I am now going into my and odd people I am ever likely to to all you old guard and I urge you to
fifth and final year at Brunel, and only meet. help make this one of the best years
recently became very aware that this is Last years theme was to badger you to ever. If you want to know how you
the same time period as secondary get involved and conform. This year I can help, come and see me and we
school, which seemed like forever. I urge you to be yourselves! can have a good old chin wag. Much
have seen this place evolve and love my fellow Brunelians!

7
 One of the most fun ways to
get involved in the Union is
through RAG. This could
involve anything from racing
rubber ducks to skydiving!

Get Involved
By Ben Moxey

And so like the motto: ‘Get Involved’. I’ve heard it so banners, shouting, singing and
meddling editor I much I’m thinking of tattooing it generally badgering people in the
am, I thought I’d somewhere on my body….or naming name of democracy, is one that
do an article! First, my first child after it. everyone should ‘GI’ with.
welcome to So with the elections, it was a Because your union is shaped
Brunel, I know we chance to Get Involved (again) with by you. That’s the simple fact. Too
are all saying it in the union, the often in
this magazine, but seriously I mean it, heart and soul of “....ever since I arrived at uni, that the
welcome! the uni, at a level has been the motto: ‘Get Involved’. elections I
Now that’s over with, I’d like to take a I can understand. I’ve heard it so much I’m thinking of asked the
few minutes of your undoubtedly busy I’m not an tattooing it somewhere on my ever-tiring
day to be a narcissistic arse and just fill athlete, so sports body….or naming my first child question
space talking about me (and a little bit were out. I’m not after it...” “Hey
about the future). charitable (its not guys, you
Born in Scotland in the that I don’t care, its just I’m a lazy, voting today?” only to be told “No”,
middle of the 80’s, I started at Brunel lazy git), so that’s out and what with a or in one case “Eff off ”. Many people
in 2005, living in the mighty show on the union radio station, also say “What’s the point? It won’t
Isambard. Sadly, as I never paid URB, so I was keen to Get Involved make any difference”. This last
attention/was too drunk at college, I (which will hence forth be written as statement is criminal for anyone to say,
tanked my A Levels and ended up GI) in that I could stabilise and at any stage in life. Everything you do,
doing Foundation of Engineering. improve it. can make a difference, for example if
Which I am now delighted that I did I always enjoy the elections at you are sitting reading this in the bar
because it was immense fun, a great Brunel, the campus seems to buzz and or a crowded area, shout something.
introduction to a brilliant course and a take on a massive energy. Whether it Anything. And watch people looking
bit easy, which is cushty with me. was campaigning for Raj in my first around. You did that! Look at the
Having done that I moved to real year…on St Paddys Day….with far difference. The whole point of the
Engineering and too much alcohol; Union officers is to shout and scream
“...The whole point of the
then I won the or campaigning for and cause a fuss on your behalf. If you
Union officers is to shout and
election for Media Officer, this have an issue, come and see someone,
scream and cause a fuss on
Media Officer year coming down we are here for you in any capacity!
your behalf...”
last Feb, and to a close result for
here I am. me and even closer results for the Because after all, it’s your union
One of the reasons I ran for other guys, the immense fun of and you chose us to represent
Media Officer was that I love to get grouping together out front of the you. So use us!
involved. Seriously; ever since I union, all of us in various printed/
arrived at uni, that has been the sprayed/painted t-shirts, holding

8
 Get Down Convention
Music Review
By Laura Watts

“Ballot Boxes Only” reads the tea-leafed sign. Have I come to “Emergenza final was a real eye opener for us” says Ste, “it
the right place, I ask myself ? I’m here to meet two of the made us realize we have come a long way in a short space of
founding members from five piece indie pop band, Get Down time, but the competition out there is amazing; we still have a
Convention. I expected groupies, partying and plenty of booze long way to go.”
from this rendezvous; instead I’ve got pet ducks, a televised Modesty is obviously one of Ste’s many qualities; the band
game of footie and warm apple pie, hardly my idea of rock seems to be made up of five serious musicians who have the
and roll! Are these guys more PCSOs of pop than Kings of fortune of being genuinely nice. Walter, the promoter of
Rock? There’s only one way to find out… Emergenza seems to agree, he recently described them to me
As I continue through the student home of bassist Ste and as “the nice guys in rock n roll.” They obviously enjoy playing
band guitarist Zane, I find a seat in their kitchen/TV/dining together and making music, but, to them, dedication is vital
room and I sit down, football acts as background noise, and no matter how many times they practice, they are never
accompanying the smell of ASDA’s frozen apple pie that Zane satisfied. As if uni commitments were not demanding enough,
has just put in the oven and around me there is a scattering of Zane also works as a music producer; working with the likes of
musical instruments. I get the idea this is no normal interview Sincere, Scorcher, Ms Dynamite and *Jelluzz*; all big names
set-up Instead of sitting down and chatting, Ste talks to me on the UK urban scene, which is where his roots lie.
while busying himself making chocolate rice krispie cakes, and With musical roots in grime, hip hop and electro, Zane seems
my questions seem to act as an odd element to the band, but digging
time filler for Zane; as he deeper into their history and characters,
“...I expected groupies, partying and
constantly checks the oven for it is clear to see that the band has a
plenty of booze from this rendezvous;
his apple pie to be done. This range of influences and interests.
instead I’ve got pet ducks, a televised
doesn’t help to convince me of game of footie and warm apple pie...” Perhaps this is what makes their music so
their musical prowess and with hard to define. Asking them what genre
Ste’s promises that the next they would say it falls into and Zane tells
time we do this, it will be in a fancy London hotel, only comes me “Indie pop with electro cabaret.” Now, I regard my
my intrigue; exactly how do they plan on getting there? musical knowledge as pretty strong and eclectic, but even this
Their biggest achievement so far is reaching the final of the is a new one on me, if you are finding it hard to imagine, they
UK heat of Sony/BMG sponsored international music are often likened to the Hoosiers and Bloc Party, though I
competition, Emergenza, which was held at ULU in June of recommend catching one of their gigs as the best way to
this year. A huge feat achieved by fending off strong understand their music, and while we are on the subject of
competition from hundreds of bands throughout the UK in 3 gigs I must bring up ‘The Peacock Dance.’
grueling rounds, to play at the ‘amazing’ ULU. However, they GDCs loyal troop of fans, created the now famous dance
are quick to add, that while the venue was great, playing on moves, which accompanies what can only be described as a
their home boards at Brunel is always special, and in those musical anthem ‘Captain Peacock;’ the bands infectious single.
cases it’s all about the audience response, they are clearly Having been to a couple of GDC gigs myself, I’ve seen first
looking forward to this year and the loyal student fans of hand, how their music gets everyone going and how many join
Brunel returning, so that everyone can enjoy more gigs. in with the Peacock Dance; Indie’s answer to Souljaboy.

9
 With more gigs at Brunel and around the UK planned for
the coming year, GDC has a lot to look forward to; and it
doesn’t end there! The guys have recently recorded in a
multi-million pound, 1st class, London studio, used by the
likes of Holloways, Winehouse, and Kate Nash to name but
a few, after successfully recording several tracks and having
CDs made.
On that note, my interview with two fifths of musical
maestros Get Down Convention comes to an end. They may
not be in the same league as ‘Rockstars’ like Axl Rose or
Keith Richards; their musical ability permits them to be, but
their grounded and loveable personalities put them in a
league of their own, no arrogant behavior or selfish band
mates, for these guys its all about the music and how
refreshing that is. I’m shown to the front door and thanked
for my time, I even get a rice krispie cake (very yummy I
must say) Ste waves me off and I hurry to my car…I’m off
to practice my Peacock!
Check out Get Down Convention on the web-
www.getdownconvention.com; www.myspace.com/
getdownconvention
or by typing ‘Get Down Convention’ into Facebook.

You don’t mess with the

Zohan
Film Review
By Alex Sergeant

** 2 Stars with anything happening on planet party-pooper, but I struggle to see why
Earth. Maybe on some far moon of that’s a good thing. Have I missed a
Don’t get me wrong, being a student Jupiter, which incidentally appears to be meeting or something? When was it
critic is brilliant. You get to watch lots where Sandler has researched his decided that a 42 year-old man
of films, often for free, and you get to accent, there is a political climate attracting beautiful women in an eerily
force your opinion on anyone resembling something that is presented Stepford-like way, by being disgusting,
who cares to read it. was funny? When was it
“...the message of the film seems to be that
However, sometimes it isn’t decided a comedy pitched to
whatever your religion, whatever your
all it’s cracked up to be and be flying in the face of
ethnicity, everyone likes a Mariah Carey
this is usually because you political sensitivities can be
concert...”
have to watch Adam Sandler this bland and uninteresting?
films. This commercially here. I don’t watch the news as The film isn’t without some
successful comedian is the bane of our frequently as I should, but I’m fairly laughs, I chuckled occasionally
existence: he is unexplainably popular certain no Israeli spends their time throughout, almost all due to the antics
from making what summarises as a very wearing tight shorts and arse wiggling of people other than Sandler himself.
average collection of films. For every for anyone’s pleasure and I’m also
Wedding Singer there is Click, a film so quite confident no Palestinian looks
undeservedly sentimental that I wanted like Rob Schneider. But of course,
to smack it. For every Punch Drunk that’s not the point. The film isn’t
Love there is I Now Pronounce You concerned with anything happening
Chuck and Larry: a nasty, hypocritical east of the Brooklyn Bridge, it’s
piece of celluloid and one of the worst interested in how disgusting old
films of last year. people having sex are, how funny a
In his latest comedy, You good knob joke is and what a glorious
Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Sandler sensation it is to break wind. At the
does what we’ve all been waiting for, he finale, the message of the film seems
tackles the complex political situation in to be that whatever your religion,
the Middle East in a comedy about a whatever your ethnicity, everyone
former Israeli hitman trying to make it likes a Mariah Carey concert. And
as a hairdresser at a Palestinian saloon for a real measure of how
in New York. Yep, sometimes being a conservative this film actually is, the
When all is said and done, this film isn’t
critic is a bit of a struggle. diva herself shows up for a cameo.
terrible it’s just rather dull, thoroughly
First of all, about ten minutes So what we are left with very
unmemorable at ultimately not worth
into the film you realise that actually its quickly is just another Adam Sandler
the price of admission. How sad that
concerns have absolutely nothing to do comedy and, I’m sorry if I’m being a
technically it exceeded my expectations.

10
 Hellboy 2
Film Review
By Alex Sergeant

**** 4 Stars What makes a man? Is it his upbringing magical and original. It’s like watching a
or his nature? modern day Lewis Carroll, as if the
No doubt as the For those of you unaware of the quirky, writer himself were still alive to deal with
summer draws to fun delight that is the original Hellboy, let Hollywood agents and studios. It knows
me explain the key movers. Our hero is
a close, this year’s when to be stylish, when to be deep and
selection of Hellboy (Ron Perlman), a devil when to play for the laughs. We care
blockbusters will summoned by the Nazis to destroy the about the character of Hellboy, and we
be summarised world, but instead raised amongst suffer when he suffers. When he is
neatly into three humans and now fights to save it. He is ostracised by the public or when he
words: The Dark accompanied by his fellow freaks in the struggles with his own identity – he is,
Knight. Bureau of Paranormal Research, ultimately, the demon of the apocalypse
Proclaimed by including girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair), – we struggle too. That is where the
many critics to be the Citizen Kane of who occasionally spontaneously substance of the movie lies, and that is
comic book movies and the second combusts and best friend Abe Sabien why it is so good.
highest grossing film of all time, it looks (Doug Jones), a giant fish. In this I should add a confession at this
set to eclipse all that have come around adventure, they fight to save the world point, I can’t help watching this movie
it. For my money though, which I confess from the threat of Prince Nuada (Luke with the mindset of another. I still
isn’t a significant investment, the title of Goss), the prince of the fantasy creatures haven’t quite got over seeing Pan’s
best superhero of the summer goes to that were banished from our world long Labyrinth a few years ago. That film was
Guillermo del Toro’s ago, who is a little pissed off. This breezy, an absolute masterpiece, and this I must
latest work. The sequel admit is not. Like
“...once everybody gets over Heath Ledger’s performance and
to his modest 2004 hit, his character, this
realises they’ve spent a lot of money on something that isn’t
this film has more wit, film feels like
that good, hopefully this will get the attention it deserves...”
more invention, more Pan’s Labyrinth
heart and a much more coherent light fable is a welcome relief from the with its horns
substance. It is a film that truly grimy, realistic aesthetics of recent major filled down to fit in, and thus there is a
understands the art-house/picture-house money outings, which to me, sit rather sense of hesitancy throughout. The
divide. You don’t need to make uncomfortably when you’re essentially direction is slightly unsure of itself, the
something that is both, because one done telling the story of men in tights and tone of the film juddering about
well is enough. Whilst Christopher capes, kicking people. The events on occasionally when it really needs to be
Nolan’s work interspersed action with screen aren’t there to make people frown assured, meaning that some action
characters openly discussing the moral or think or chin-stroke, there they to sequences are not quite as spectacular as
dilemmas they found themselves in, make you jump, laugh and reach for they could be and moments of emotional
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army tells its another mouthful of popcorn. And depth fall a little flat. However, and I
politics through its visuals, through it another. want this clear and on the record, it is
character development and through its However, this does not mean to the superhero film of the summer. It is
larger-than-life story. Ironically, for a film say that the film is without substance. Its more fun, more exciting and much,
about devils, 6ft fish and twisted not Transformers, it has characters to much more coherent than The Dark
firestarters, it is full of heart and soul. interact with and a plot to get engaged Knight and once everybody gets over
Batman took two and a half hours to with, and whilst these qualities seem Heath Ledger’s performance, which was
work out that sometimes it’s a bit hard to simple, they are the bread and butter of alright, and realises that they’ve spent a
be quite good when bad stuff is narrative cinema. Del Toro has a real lot of money on something that isn’t that
happening to bad people that might have understanding for his audience. His job is good, hopefully then this will get the
been good if they hadn’t gone bad. to entertain, not preach or intellectualise. attention and make the money it
Hellboy 2 poses a very simple question: His characters are well drawn and deserves. And when that time comes, for
interesting, his situations absolutely the official record, I said it here first.

GREAT FILMS YOU • Angels with Dirty Faces • Milo & Otis
• Nightwatch • The Libertine
MIGHT NOT HAVE About a Boy Blazing Saddles
• •
SEEN YET: • The Science of Sleep • The Princess Bride

11
 The Student Paradox
It’s a bit of a strange phenomenon
really: students can afford copious
amounts of alcohol and shelf upon
shelf of DVDs and games, yet can’t
afford things most sane people would
refer to as being more ‘essential’.

A Student’s Life
The joys of moving house
By Michael Ryder

I’m a little bit worried about my Thirty pounds later, (take note my an article, has something of the
housemates. friends of the ‘plus’ part in the name repressed homosexual about him. Not
We’ve been living together ‘Pound Plus’: we shan’t be deceived only does he have a fixation for large
for just over two weeks now and again!), and we arrive back home with fluffy pillows and incense sticks, but he
already there is something rather odd an assortment of shabbily made tools, also has a wardrobe that would make
about our house-sharing relationship. poor quality hooks and some very Elton John proud. Not only this but
I’m not sure what Tom our other
worries me more “...when Tom pops out from behind a doorway wearing his housemate, is
really- the fact Tom brand new matching Superman apron and oven gloves I exactly the same! I
is way too excited nearly died from shock!” was more than
about having a slightly taken
condiments cupboard, or the fact we cheap looking washing baskets. A few aback some five minutes after having
can apparently afford a 42-inch days later and the screwdrivers have stepped beyond the threshold on
widescreen television but can’t afford a worn out, all the hooks have fallen off moving in day (and, I might add,
dustbin. It’s a bit of a strange the walls and the washing baskets are having signed my contract), when
phenomenon really, the fact we can all looking like a very poor investment. I Tom pops out from behind a doorway
as students afford copious amounts of wonder to myself then, why we wearing his brand new matching
alcohol and shelf upon shelf of DVDs couldn’t have just gone to a proper Superman apron and oven gloves. I
and games, yet can’t afford things shop and bought proper tools and not tell you now reader I nearly died from
most sane people would refer to as wasted our money instead on a shock, and to make matters worse not
being more ‘essential’. Given some novelty bathplug from Wilkinson’s only do we have one set of these
thought I’ve when thus far all of garish and outlandishly gay items, but
come to “...we can apparently afford a us have taken he saw fit to buy TWO sets! One set
describe this 42-inch widescreen television nothing but for him, and one for Dave. Frankie
phenomenon as but can’t afford a dustbin....” showers! Please Goes to Hollywood eat your heart out.
the student note I had I really do wonder what I’ve let myself
paradox. absolutely nothing to do with the in for…
And here’s another example: purchase of the said bathplug. I blame
only the other day we were forced to it on Tom!
venture out to the ‘Pound Plus’ shop Talking about Tom, those of
in West Drayton in search of tools to you familiar with my articles in this
put together our flat pack furniture hallowed paper will be aware that my
and other useful household items. good friend Dave, the source of many

12
 Freshers Week 2008
An overview of What’s On
By the Union of Brunel Students

Day: Arrivals // Ticket Sales // Meet your Contacts // NUS Extra Card sales

Sunday Night: UBS Welcome Party @ Academy (10pm)

Day: Football Tournament @ Cemetery Pitches (2-4pm) // Poster Sale@Academy

(2-5pm) // Guitar Hero heats in Crank Marquee (12 - 4pm) // Croquet (12-6pm) &
Netball Shootathon (12 - 3pm) in the Quad.
Monday Night: Play Pyjama Party @ Academy (9pm - 2am) // Freshers Quiz in the Crank
Marquee (8 - 10pm) // Film Night in the Howell Theatre (7pm)

Day: Cemetery Pitches - Afro-Caribbean BBQ & Steel Band (1-6pm) // Rounders
with Women’s Sports Clubs (4-6pm) // Poster Sale in Academy (2 - 6pm) // Pool Comp
in Loco’s // Guitar Hero (12-4pm) and Westside BBQ (1-3pm) in the Crank Gardens //
Croquet (12-6pm) & Pimp my Contact (12-4pm) in the Quad // Treasure Hunt - collect
list from UBS Reception 12-4pm
Tuesday Night: Comedy Club @ Academy (7pm) // Masti @ Academy (10.30pm) // Academy of
House @ Loco’s (10.30pm) // LAN Event @ Howell Theatre (7pm) // Film Night @
Howell Theatre (7pm) // Speed Mating in the Crank Marquee (8pm)

Day: London Sightseeing - Meet at 9am, UBS Reception // Horse Riding - meet at
1pm, UBS Reception // RockBand in the Academy (2 - 5pm) // Guitar Hero in Crank
Marquee (12 - 4pm) // Man o Man in the Quad (2 - 3pm)

Wednesday Night: Salsa Lessons in Academy (5-7pm) // Return to Ibiza in Academy (9pm) //
Singstar in Loco’s (7 - 10pm) // Homecoming The Journey with ACS in the Howell
Theatre (6.30pm) // Debating Society in the Crank Marquee (8pm)

Day: Freshers Fayre in the Sports Centre (10am - 4pm) // Poster Sale in Academy
(12-4pm) // Poker League Taster Session (2 - 5pm) // Eastside BBQ @ River Pinn (2pm
- 5pm)

Thursday Night: Tony Lee Comedy Hypnotist @ Academy (7-10pm) // Luscious @ Academy
(10.30pm - 2am) // Guitar Hero Final Heats in Loco’s (7-10pm) // Amplified @ Loco’s
(10.30pm) // Film Night in the Howell Theatre (7pm) // Arts Centre Night of
Entertainment (8pm - 11pm)

Day: RAG Day. Picnic on the Pinn @ 12pm // Duck Race on the Pinn at 12.30pm //
Wacky Olympics in the Quad (1-4pm) // Horizontal Climb at 2pm on the Concourse

Friday Night: Global Launch Party @ Academy (9pm) // Halls of the Year Awards in Loco’s (8
- 10pm) // Christian Union Non-Alcoholic Cocktail Party in the Cranks Gardens
(7-11pm)

13
 Snow Holidays!
This upcoming season, the
club is travelling to Tignes
in the French Alps from the
2nd to 9th of January.
Previous trips have taken
over 100 of Brunel’s biggest
party animals to Europe,
and this seasons looks to
be the biggest yet.

Snow Club
By Sam Middlewood
The Snow Club here at Brunel has the 6 day lift pass to gain you access to team up to participate in the events,
only been running for few years, but in some of the best slopes in the Alps! plus a few who just got trolleyed.
that short time it has become one of For this year, we plan to take part in
the most popular and successful clubs, Although the trip hosted by Brunel more inter-university competitions,
and had the biggest member intake of Snow Club is the highlight of our year such as the BUSC (British Universities
all clubs and societies for the first at Uni, it’s far from all we have to Snow Sports Council) Main Event,
semester of last year. offer. held in Austria every Easter.
The reason for the club’s To get both new and existing Of course the club offers a
increasing popularity, particularly with members ready for the trip, the club packed non-snow related social
fresher’s, is that skiing, snowboarding, offers lessons for both boarders and calendar to go with all the on the
and unfortunately snowblading, are skiers at a very cheap rate. Weekly slope action, with our own take on
continuing to be Pub Golf,
dominating sports all “...The lessons cater for all ability levels, from guys and girls nights out in
over the globe, and who have never seen snow before, to those who want to fine- central
with the club’s trip to tune their technique to save embarrassment in France....” London,
France each winter to themed
carve it up for a week long party, we sessions, held at Bracknell dry ski Academy night and ice-skating are just
make sure we’re a big part of it. slope, are priced at around £12 per a few ideas we are working on.
This upcoming season, the session and that includes transport to Brunel Snow Club really has
club is travelling to Tignes in the the slope from Uni campus. The something to offer everyone, from
lessons cater for all ability levels, from seasoned pro to total novice, come
French Alps from the 2nd to 9th of
January. Previous trips have taken guys and girls who have never seen along to their stall at Freshers Fayre,
over 100 of Brunel’s biggest party snow before, to those who want to meet the guys and girls who are
animals to Europe, and this seasons fine-tune their technique to save responsible for making this club one of
looks to be the biggest yet. embarrassment in France. the best at Uni, join up, get a load of
Until last year the club didn’t
The cost of the trip this year free stuff, check out this years club kit
is just £345, which includes return compete, this year we are starting to and get a discount, and find out more
transport from Brunel to Tignes, ski branch out into both ski and about us.
in/out accommodation near the heart snowboard race events. In November
of the resort town, 4 evening meals, 2007, the BUDS (British Universities
Dry Slope) Event was held just outside
plus an evening BBQ , and of course
Edinburgh, and Brunel Snow took a

14
 Le Sport
By Ben Vallely
What a summer we’ve had for sport!
The Brits are finally doing well left,
right and centre, with a Formula One
ace seemingly marching towards a
World Championship, Andy Murray
winning his first Masters Level
Tournament in Miami after a brilliant
showing at Wimbledon and Team GB
doing ludicrously well in Beijing. Add
this to an unusually good Tour de
France for the Brits, all change for the
England Cricket Team (now with a
South African in charge…), a pretty
good Euro 2008 (even if the home
nations weren’t present!) and all
following on from a magnificent
Champions League Final from the
Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow at the end a very even final, and ran out 1-0
of May. Wow!
European
Championship
After the Champion’s League was a
European
tournament “What a summer we’ve had for
that no home sport! The Brits are finally doing curtain-raiser in
nation well left, right and centre..”
would
appear in
for the
first time
since
Euro ’84.
Most
couldn’t
miss out
on the
football
fix though
and as a
result,
“adopted” countries that were
competing, with claims like "my
grandmother’s postman was Dutch, it
feels like home to me". After the shock
of France being sent packing at the
Group Stage, nobody could quite
envisage the knock-out stages playing
out as they did. Total football seemed
back in vogue with fast flowing football European Grand Prix, on a street circuit founded and Tom Daley seems one of
15
The Champion’s League
England’s top two teams descended on
Moscow for the first all-English final of
the UEFA Champions League.
Manchester United looked the better
team before the break, and after the
interval, Chelsea dominated as much
as United had in the first half, but all
efforts resulted in a draw after Extra
Time.
Penalties ensued, with the decider
falling to John Terry. His slip was
expensive, sending the ball clattering
against the post. Causing another round
in which saw Nicolas Anelka stepped up to the plate to stay in it and Edwin van
der Sar saving to win the cup. Manchester United celebrated their third
Champions League, fifty years after the tragedy of the Munich Air Disaster, and
exactly forty years after their first European Cup triumph. Chelsea and the rest of
Europe will have to try again this season instead.
from all. Spain challenged Germany in around the Spanish harbour of
Valencia, sits on top of the World
victors, winning their first piece of Championship table five points ahead of
silverware in 44 years. reigning World Champion Kimi
Raikkonen. However, one of the age old
Formula 1 sayings of Formula One states that, to
win a World Championship you need
Lewis Hamilton made a flying start to skill, speed and a little bit of luck, which
the Formula One seems to currently be firmly on the
season back in March Stevenage Kid’s side at the moment!
with victory in the
Tour de France
Mark Cavendish became the
first British rider to win four stages on
the Tour de France in a single year in
2008, which is a nice refreshing change,
but he was powerless to even attempt to
stop the third Spaniard in three years,
this time Carlos Sastre, winning the
event, with an amazing all-round assault
on the B-roads of France to become the
overall winner of the Yellow Jersey.
Beijing Olympics
Melbourne. As Ferrari found their form Eventually, along rolled the greatest
“...Brunel has a very rich sporting heritage (we ARE
better than Loughborough, no matter what they’d have
you believe!)”
from Malaysia onwards, Lewis carried sporting spectacle on the Planet, The
on being consistent, and, at the time of Olympic Games. High hopes for Team
writing shortly before the brand new GB appear to have been very well
 many to use their performances as a Individual Sprint and the Keirin Titles, for the Beijing Games. Phillips Idowu
springboard (Oh dear – Ed) for as well as the Team Sprint title with the claimed a Silver Medal in the Men’s
preparations for London 2012! Initially, help of Jason Kenny and Jamie Staff. Triple Jump, Heather Fell claimed Silver
Team GB was expected to finish fourth in Also among the talents of the GB in the Women’s Modern Pentathlon and
the medals Cycling Team Tom Stallard was part of the Men’s
table with was Rebecca Eights Rowing Crew that won Silver.
41 medals, Romero, who, Also Brunellians are Heptathletes Kelly
of which after winning Sotherton and Julie Hollman, Sprinters
10 to 12 the Individual Montell Douglas, Emma Ania and Laura
should be Pursuit Title, Turner, Rower Beth Rodford, Hockey
Gold. In became the players Matt Daly, Ben Marsden, Jo Ellis
reality, as first female and Kate Walsh, and cyclist Roger
the Games athlete to win Hammond.
ended, we medals at two
If you wish to get involved with
have 19 (!) consecutive any of the Sports Clubs and Societies at
Gold games, in two Brunel, almost all of the current clubs
Medals, completely will have representatives at Fresher’s
part of a total of 47, sitting 4th in the different sports, her Gold in Beijing Fayre on Thursday 25 September, so
medals table. adding to the Fours Rowing Silver she don’t hesitate to get down there and sign

Rebecca Adlington amazed the won in Athens four years ago and Ben up for information about training
sporting sessions and trials. Don’t worry about
world by “...Stand proud and be counted, you WILL be better “not being good enough” at trials, as
winning the than you think, and you may even surprise yourself and that is almost certainly not the case.
first Gold steam straight onto the team sheets!” Stand proud and be counted, you
Medal for a WILL be better than you think, and
British woman in the pool in 48 years, Ainslie managed to battle the very British you may even surprise yourself and
and then winning another one a few days weather in the Finn Sailing class, to claim steam straight onto the team sheets!
later (just like buses…you wait YEARS his third successive Olympic Gold (two in
for one and then… well… you know). 14 the Finn class, one in the Laser class), all
year old Thomas Daly was originally following a Silver Medal in Atlanta 12
aiming for his first Olympic experience to years ago (in the Laser class).
occur in 2012, yet due to becoming
National Champion, and then qualifying
for Beijing, he gains valuable Olympic
know-how that should serve him in good
Sports at Brunel
stead when he competes in London. Brunel has a very rich sporting heritage
Chris Hoy became the first British (we ARE better than Loughborough, no
Olympian in 100 years, since the 1908 matter what they’d have you believe!),
London Olympics, to win three Gold and had no fewer than 14 current or
Medals in one Games, when he won the alumni students registered in Team GB

To get involved in Le Nurb get in touch with Ben Moxey, the editor at mediaofficer@brunel.ac.uk.
You can find out more about us online at www.brunelstudents.com/media. This issue will be
available online from 29th September 2008 for your viewing pleasure.

16