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FUNGUS SAVES PLANET HOST Harvard University now started psychedelic research again after its ban in 199. Led by ________. Research shows that patients after 2 weeks of initial consumption feel more in tune with the earth and happier to be alive. Two months after consumption, 80% of 36 study participants reported increased well being or levels of life-satisfaction. Most said their mood, attitudes and behavior had changed for the better. A third of the 36 people described their psychedelic experience as the "most spiritually significant" moment of their lives. ...So for fun we put this into practice to fight for mother nature; we traveled to locations where people practice environmental cruelty most in the US: Alaska and Washington DC: Forrest Loggers and Republicans. Watch this: THE CAMERA ZOOMS FROM OUTER SPACE ALL THE WAY INTO THE INSIDE OF A DINER WHERE THE CEO OF A LOGGING COMPANY IS WALKING IN FOR HIS ROUTINE BREAKFAST WITH A COLLEAGUE. AS THE CAMERA SHOWS HIS FACE AS HE IS WAITING FOR HIS ORDER, THE AUDIO CAN HERE IS THOUGHTS: LETS CUT SOME TREES Danny Quinn is behind the restaurant counter. DANNY Is that him? WAITER It sure is. Hes destroying our beautiful city _______ (name a city in the predicament.) Danny turns around and gives an ounce of psychedelic mushrooms to the Mexican chef. DANNY Marinate these, and put them on his steak and eggs. The CEO and his pal enjoy the breakfast conversating until

suddenly both start saying things at the same time. HEAD HONCHO AND SUBORDINATE What? Wha what? HEAD HONCHO Um... lets go... SUBORDINATE Um... lets go... HEAD HONCHO AND SUBORDINATE hahaahhahahahhaha The camera shows Head Honcho reading the bill for $7.50 but only leaves 75 cents... mostly in pennies and nickels. And they leave the diner with arms over each other laughing. SUBORDINATE (as he dazes up to the sun) oooohhh, ahhhh. A noise of water splashing is coming from behind him. The camera zooms out to see Honcho unconsciously peeing on the floor behind him. Josh drops to the floor and starts evaluating the gravel then his hand. HEAD HONCHO Dude, I dont feel right... SUBORDINATE your right, we have to get to work. Honcho looks at his watch to find the clock melting. They crawl into the truck and drive all crazy parking lot. out of the

The next scene shows the truck arriving to the work site all crazy and park on top of some logs, they try to see how high it can get on top of the logs for a while, while the employees all look. Then they stumble out laughing historically. Honcho stops to stretch his back. HEAD HONCHO oh, that is beautiful man. Kelvin walks around the car to find his friend crouched in the

shadow with huge eyes, rubbing black soil under neath his eyes like a warrior and starring into the distance. A distant eagle's call is heard for the shot duration of the shot. HEAD HONCHO Wow, that;s crazy. Then Honcho jumps to the sound of a tree collapsing in the forest behind him. HEAD HONCHO What the fuck? Hey put it back. The loggers are in shock and dont have open communication with the CEO because they dont speak good English and people often get fired when questioning the CEOs decisions. The camera zooms up at the employees faces looking at each other not knowing what to do. They all turn around in a huddle and do a choreographed dance with fancy foot work like Umpa Lumpas. As they stand in a circle with arms over each other, every other person drops to a squat then alternate. This is done 4 times before the circle opens up to allow a fork lift to pass in and raise the tree back up. Some stay with arms over each other and some help lift the tree back into place, Then they all help nail planks around the cut like stitches. HEAD HONCHO (with a kinda imused voice) ah, very well. THE SHOT FADES TO BLACK AND A NARRATOR DESCRIBES THE FOLLOWING AS THE SHOT FADES BACK IN TO A BEAUTIFUL OCEAN SUN. NARRATOR The CEO now feels he cant die until he has right the wrong he did to the earth. He puts a value on all the trees lives and the percent of his involvement. He's a strong believer of not taking charity from no one, not even his mother, and to do everything for himself. The bottom of the screen reads: 13 years later. The camera now zooms out to show a stream of urine hitting the water, then farther out to see him peeing off the back of a Green Peace. CAPITAL HIGH

HOST the project worked out so well that we were funded by PETA to take it to parliament. I have friends there that know the cafeteria workers. I dont know if youve seen the news lately but this will air tomorrow. SETTING: A NEWS BROADCAST WITH A PICTURE IN BACKGROUND SHOWS A HAZE OVER THE RIGHT WING CABINET OF THE HOUSE OF PARLIAMENT. NEWS ANCHOR Politicians have come to agreement on all bills. We had a live correspondent there to report: CORRESPONDENT (With dub of childish giggles and whispers in the back ground.) So what about bill 235 of the legislate? POLITICIAN Fuck it. NEWS ANCHOR And in other news, World Peach was finally accomplished. The background picture shows a line of humans from satellite that stretches across the seas like if it were Hands across the Planet. News ANchor Global Warming has seized. Picture of polar bears playing poker and the 1968 Volkswagen van has become the car of choice for Americans. Picture of crowded highway with all cars being hippie vans. Thank you very much and this message from our sponsor. A photo of George Bush rolling corn rolls in Barrack Obama hair as he is giving the peace sign. At the bottom it says: Dope, Hoes, and Harmony.