W*dwday.

Auguil 20, 1949

ANN LANDKKS

Hindsight Vision
"A creepy little man" prowling about upstairs . . . a body, its throat cut, tied to a staircase. Sharon Tate said she saw all this while spending the night alone in the former home of a man who took his own life. She told Dick Kleiner about it and now Dick wonders. . . .
Dear Ann Landers: My mother is 83 years old. I have never lived anywhere but under her roof. 1 am 65 today, a dried-up raisin of a woman, all my chances for marriage long gone, all my hopes for a career shattered. There isn't one thing you can say to help me, but perhaps you can say something to others whose lives are at a turning point women who don't know whether to move out of the house, take that job in another city, or marry that man who says. "I'm tired of waiting. It's now or never." My life is what 1 made it and 1 made it a hell. I cannot leave the house without telling Mother where I am going and when I'll be back. 1 must acbizarre beauty count to her for every penny 1 spend. ("It was papa's money, you know, and he left it all to me!" She has said that to me 1.000 times in the past 20 years.i I have very few friends left. When they come to call. Mother staircase downstairs. She sits in and talks endlessly about thought it must be a dream. She things that happened 50 years decided to find out and went ago to people we don't know. When it comes to hindsight I back upstairs. The body(Could it be her , could it be Jay?) have 20-20 vision. I know where was still tied to the stairs. The I went wrong. I was severely creepy little man was still prowl- neurotic or I would not have allowed my mother to dominate ing around upstairs. She went to bed and somehow slept. WHEN JAY came back, the next morning, he woke her. She remembered the events of the night before. It must have been a dreambut... "Hey," he called, "who tore the wallpaper off by the bar down here?" No dream. But three years later, a mile up the road, a nightmare. She and Jay both killed. Both stabbed. Three others killed, too. and suffocate me. 1 recall vividly every lost opportunity to set myself free. If youth knew what age could tell! Please. Ann, print this. It might help somebody. - Life Wasted Dear Mnple: It's not possible to do this work and not be touched by the sadness and agony oi humanity. But I resolved early to take the readers' problems seriously but not personally. There's an important distinction. People with trouble don't need someone to sit down and cry with them. They need a detached, objective observer to tell it like it is. And this I try to do. Dear Ann: How does a secretary tell her boss that his rotten cigars are smoking up her glasses, stinking up her clothing and making her sick to her stomach'1 This has been going on tor nearly a year It's gotten so bad that 1 turn green when I hear his buzzer ring. Don't tell me to come straight out with it. 1 can't. My husband is a junior executive with this firm. Please Ann. hurry your answer. I'm turning green again Gassed Dear Gassed: You aren't going to change the man so you'd better change jobs. And the sooner the better. Ann Landers will be glad to help you with your problems. Send them to her in care of The Billings Gazette enclosing a self -addressed,stamped envelope

Ann Landers

SHARON TATE,

Dear Friend: Age has told, and 1 hope youth will listen. Thanks for writing. Dear Ann Landers: A friendly ear is a tremendous comfort in time of trouble. Just having someone to talk to helps. I know. But how do you cope with all the problems that people heap on you? How do you keep from cracking up? 1 saw you a few weeks ago when you addressed a national convention in Chicago and you look so buoyant and fresh so untouched by it all. How do you keep your balance? Maple Leafer

Did Sharon Have a Premonition?

By DICK KLEINER HOLLYWOOD - It was just a creepy story, when Sharon Tate told it to me early in 1966. But now, three years and five murders later, it has acquired something more than ereepiness.
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SHE WAS a starlet then. Sensational to look at. They thought she was going to be a big star. Maybe she would, have been. Maybe not. Anyhow, in '66, she was a girl of promise. But there was something a little strange about her. Everybody noticed it. They thought, at the time, that it was because her first feature was an oddball terror thing called "13"later they changed the title to "Eye of the Devil"and maybe she was taking her work home with her.

YOU COULD LOOK at her for hours. And listen to the nutty stories coming out of that beautiful head. I like stories of the supernatural. She knew that, and she had one. It involved Jay Sebring. And the.house in Benedict Canyon. No, not the house where she and Jay were killed. That was on Cielo, just off Benedict. But the houses can't be much more than a mile apart.

house that Birn had committed suicide. THE BEAUTIFUL girl told the story, calmly, matter-offactly. It seems that Jay was in New York on business. And Sharon was between apartments. She called Jay and asked if she could stay in the house. Of course she could.

"I SAW A VISION of someone tied to the staircase," she said. "It might have been me. It might have been Jay. Whoever it was, it was cut open at the throat." She needed a drink, for nervesteadying purposes. She didn't know where the bar was. Something told her to open a bookcase. Inside, there was a hidden bar. She poured a shot. There was some wallpaper below the hidden bar. For some reason, she picked at it, tore it away. It covered a lovely copper base to the bar. She wondered why it had been papered over. STRANGE, how the mind works. Worrying about things like that when ghosts are wandering around upstairs and mutilated bodies are tied to the

She was there that night. That dark night. She was alone. She wasn't usually spooky, but for SHARON USED to date Jay. some reason she was that night, This was before she met Roman in that house. She kept a light Polanski, the man she married. on, by the side of her bed. She and Jay went together for a "I saw a creepy little man," long time. Jay had just bought Sharon said. "He looked like the the house in Benedict Canyon. It had once been owned by pictures I'd seen of Birn." She ran downstairs. Paul Birn. It was into that house When she got downstairs, she that Birn had brought his bride, Jean Harlow. And it was in that wished she was still upstairs.

PRE-OPENING

TO ENROLL ON PHASE NO. 4 LOW CHARTER MEMBERSHIP RATES

MENTAL EXERCISES

For Happier Marriages

Two experts say that they tern of behavior. In the article, "8 Mental Exerhave developed eight mental exercises that can be used effec- cises That Free You For Intense. tively for ironing out destructive Love," the writers offer the folmarriage patterns. In the Sep- lowing situations and corrective . tember issue of Pageant, Wil- techniques: - liam J. Lederer and Dr. Don D. Jackson recommend techniques THE INCOMPLETE transacthat they have tested out at the Mental Research Institute in tion occurs when a spouse defers dealing with his mate's problem Palo Alto, Calif. by stressing general concern or The key to handling these des- consideration without mentiontructive marital problems, they ing specific steps to help. Ledersay, depends on the ability to er and Jackson suggest that the recognize the situation, the abili- spouse who is frustrated and ty to change, the willingness! to wants to resolve an ongoing be persistent with the new pat- problem will have to insist that the problem be heard and understood. And one good answer for this situation is: "If you want to be a good wife, then follow it up with the proposed solution." stead of refusing to tolerate unwanted behavior is widespread in marriages in our culture." This situation can only be changed if one spouse is willing to revise his own responses and behavior in the relationship beTHANK YOU for nothing, fore expecting radical changes in darling, is a situation where one his mate. spouse offers exciting presents DISASTER SEEKER helps to but doesn't give of himself (or create a series of unpleasant siherself) to promote genuine tuations and then offers help to companionship. The person his spouse at the dramatic wanting companionship must moment. The "disaster seekinitiate and deliberately plan er's" timing makes his spouse activities that throw the two look inadequate and himself people togethersuch as equal or superior. "This type of movies, parties, dining out. person," Lederer and Jackson "The point is not that the couple will necessarily have a good time but that the changes will break up the old patterns." If the party pursues this action, there is a possibility that an exchange can take place. MIND-READING act can become awkward when one spouse triesand failsto interpret his partner's feelings. The article suggests that the spouse being misunderstood by the "mind-reading act" must be willing to agree and even overagree to the proposed behavior. If this is done consistently for a short period of time, it will illustrate how ridiculous the situation is. THE HANDY HEART and convenient cancer is a method that plays on "sick symptoms" as a way of manipulating the relationship. The headaches, the weak heart, and the nervous stomach can all be diagnosed. The healthy spouse in this relationship must insist that the "sick" partner see a specialist. If the examination reveals a healthy person, then the other partner must insist that a schedule of full participation exist. BENEVOLENT DICTATORSHIP results when one marriage partner is indiscriminate about "doing good.'' According to Lederer and Jackson, the "dictator" imagines that he is an abundant giver and can anticipate or know the needs of his spouse. The person who is being treated so royally with gifts and recreation that he neither wants or likes must politely refuse them. In refusing them, he must express what he rally does want or like. "I COULD BE the best husband (wife) in the world, if only my spouse would be different." Explain the writers: "There are many spouses who operate on a tit-for-tat system. In each case, one person's behavior depends on that of his partner. The tendency to nag and complain insay, "is afraid of bein abandoned. He is afraid that the other spouse will grow apart from him, becoming too independent or successful." The solution, say the authors, is to let the "disaster-seeker" know that the "destroy and build-up" behavior is not going to be tolerated. The technique can seem a bit threatening, but it usually forces the other person into new behavior patterns. CROSS-COMPLAINER responds to a spouse's complaint by bringing up one of his own. Lederer and Jackson recommend that the original complainer handle this by saying: "I think you are capable of recognizing my right to complain on my own time. The next time you cut into my complaint I am leaving the room." What seems like rude behavior is very effective since the cross-complainer needs an audience to reassure himself.

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