Rambo Goes to Idaho

by Scott Abels

BlazeVOX [books]
Buffalo, N Y

Rambo Goes to Idaho by Scott Abels

Copyright 2011
Published by BlazeVOX [books]
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without
the publishers written permission, except for brief quotations in reviews.
Printed in the United States of America
Book design by Geoffrey Gatza
First Edition
ISBN: 978-1-60964-079-8
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011939095
BlazeVOX [books]
76 Inwood Place
Buffalo, NY 14209
Editor@blazevox.org

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BlazeVOX

Rambo Goes to Idaho

Screenplay
He is good,
but he is a product of the world.
In Rambo 7,
the man he said had no shadow.
That isnt a tombstone
anymore. Its his mailbox.
Rambo in vegan sandals.
He is urinating.
Rambo, dancing.
We never see him sleeping.
Rambo, checking his email.
Crabby from all the MSG.
Pan to:
Rambos matching panties.
Pan to:
Never anything is his Inbox.
He is counting
pigs tied to sticks.
He is teaching English.
Victory is its own reward.
Rambo making up words
like Fambo and Idiotard.
Rambo, lost without his dental floss.
He is searching for his shirt.
Releasing the grip from his neck:
I am not my conflict.
At the key party,
everybody put their keys in a fishbowl.
Pan to:
Rambo at the key party,
9

hiding behind his i-pod.

The mystery and the whatnot.
No one goes home alone.
Rambos boss is explaining that English
as a second language
is essentially the same
as special education.
Rambo is drawing diagrams
of sex moves with his knife in the sand.
The subtitle reads thank you
in the movie when she moans.
Rambos knife stalls.
What is the name of the phobia of defenselessness?
That was either a key
turning
or a branch on the tile on the roof,
and a chicken
claws through dry leaves, waiting
since the 1970s to kiss his lips.

10

Burst
1.
Chopsticks was born in April with 4 working nostrils
in a village in Brazil.
Because Chopsticks isnt a good lapdog,
John called him Chopsticks.
Then, me and John
were a champion combination.
Like rats eating ham.
Like the latch and the grave.
I checked Sciences over Humanities
on both our college applications.
I was eating my big fried dinner
on the beach with Chopsticks.
John actually physically drew a line in the sand.
I had never seen that done.

11

2.
Rambo, having a glass
of wine on the beach,
and she asks,

can I have some of that?

and he says, OK,

but you have to go away.
I really just want to read.
Rambo, growing older.
The day he quit dying his hair,
none of the neighbors knew who he was.
It was a hotel yellow.
He stopped shaving his body altogether.
Rambo, at home
holding hands with the cat. Remembering,

Me and Gene Simmons

talking about being God.
Me and Mr. T
doing some shaving.
Clint Eastwoods beard.
What will they say,
Rambo and Mr. T
not wanting to be Clint Eastwood?
Rambo, exhaustible.
He started a journal called Country Music.
He started a garden for food.
He weeded out all the good throwing rocks.
Colonel Trautman bought him a white goat
to keep off snakes.

12

An American Ninja
delivered it in the night.
The chickens went crazy.
Rambo hardly noticed.
Rambo, happy.
He drinks all his fluids from
a chilled white wine glass.
He bakes
his own bread.
He sings:

a wind for my ship.

13

3.
As Rambo lay dying,
he was happy there were no cameras.
He took on some manners that I admire.
Some people would have called him a shut-in.
He was my teacher. We had different lives.
It was as if there were a language barrier.
He was not used to having guests.
He did not need to have his hand held.
He said: do something
not because its Republican,
but because you believe
its the right thing to do
(urinating all over himself)
he said, horses

are still important in the U.S.

The 2 party system is killing us.
Rambo said, sorry, I didn't mean
to be topless when you got here.
He said, tape over
my dance exercise class.

I do not fear risk for love.

I do not fear lack of vision.
Bequeath nothing to charity.
Burn my Pearl Jam CDs.
Here is my journal.
I loved writing it.

14

ANGEL VS. GHOST

by
John Rambo

A thesis
submitted in partial fulfillment
of the requirements for the degree of
Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, Poetry
Boise State University

APPROVAL TO SUBMIT THESIS

The thesis presented by John Rambo entitled ANGEL VS. GHOST is hereby
approved:

______________________________________
Advisor
Date

______________________________________
Committee Member
Date

______________________________________
Committee Member
Date

______________________________________
Dean of the Graduate College
Date

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Idaho, I challenge you to an orgy...................................................................................................... 19

Ram bo G oes to Idaho to Study Poetry ....................................................... 21

A copper bucket of hair gel................................................................................................................ 23
When I was called back into action................................................................................................... 24
Be sober, but have some beer for after...................................................................... 25
I spoke to the goat .............................................................................................................................. 26

Karl Rove W ill Be Your G raduation Speaker ............................................. 27

Obituaries/Erasures:........................................................................................................................... 29
Had there been one............................................................................................................................. 33

SEXU ALLY D EPRIVED FO R YO U R FREED O M .................................... 35

I was writing bumper stickers ........................................................................................................... 37
The army is like if the Peace Corps did ............................................................................................ 39
I know.................................................................................................................................................. 40

Victory Punch ........................................................................................... 41

I am a limo ........................................................................................................................................... 43
You better fucking not write that poem ........................................................................................... 44
Text message the mariachis ................................................................................................................ 45

Idaho Conspiracy ...................................................................................... 47

My Composition 1100 assignment was to guess the titles .............................................................. 49
Growing up on the Rambo ranch ..................................................................................................... 50
The only way to know ....................................................................................................................... 51
I told my Hawaiian pen pal ............................................................................................................... 52
The way to name a grenade................................................................................................................ 53
I am learning Indian cricket on the internet..................................................................................... 54
When my fictitious involvement in the Afghanistan conflict had ended, ..................................... 55
It takes a lot of timing ........................................................................................................................ 57

Too Plum b Sm all ....................................................................................... 59

Sometimes when whales..................................................................................................................... 61
Time to decide. What dont we know.............................................................................................. 62
This semester my Professor Paul Bunyan thinks big. ..................................................................... 63
Imagine that this man was rocked to sleep....................................................................................... 64
Ive been thinking about .................................................................................................................... 65
I wore hot diapers .............................................................................................................................. 64
Dear Diary, I spent December writing letters to Mr. Retrospect. ................................................. 68
Sincerity ............................................................................................................................................... 69
I had the strangest dream: I rocked the vote. ................................................................................... 70