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Written by Evan Springhetti
54 King Arthur Road, N. Easton MA, 02356 508-269-8891
INT. RICK FAIRWAY’S HOUSE - NIGHT
RICK FAIRWAY (30), kindhearted and self sufficient, decorates his house. MONTAGE: A. Rick puts on a Kenny G’s Christmas album. B. He puts out beverages. C. Puts red and green candies in a bowl. D. Lights a tree. E. Straightens his bow-tie. His house nicely decorated, Rick looks at his watch. RICK Three, two, one... The doorbell RINGS. 2 EXT. RICK FAIRWAY’S HOUSE - LATER 2
GREG and TINA (30’s) park their car. Snow on the ground. Greg carries a bottle of wine. TINA This place is packed. GREG Rick’s parties always are. Greg and Tina walk up a ramp. TINA And please, don’t say something that reminds him he’s Tina slips on a patch of ice. Greg catches her. You okay? GREG
TINA Yeah, thanks. They KNOCK on the door.
INT. RICK FAIRWAY’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Rick opens the door. Greg and Tina adjust their gaze to meet eyes with Rick who sits in his wheelchair. RICK Greg! Tina! GREG Merry Christmas, Rick! Got this is for you. Greg hands him the wine and Rick places it in his lap. RICK Oh, excellent! Good thing you guys made it before it snows again. TINA Is it gonna be bad? RICK It takes more than snow to stop a Rick Fairway party. GREG Yeah, you always know how to keep things rolling. Rick stares at Greg. Greg realizes what he said. TINA (Taking off her coat) ...Where should we put our coats? RICK Oh, right. You can put them on my bed. They head into the party. STEVE (30), a hip-looking if not meddling friend of Rick’s browses records in a second room. RICK (CONT’D) Steve! Don’t mess with the Kenny G, ‘kay? (To Greg and Tina) Right down the hall. Steve drops the records. Tina and Greg put away their coats. MARTY (30’s), Rick’s best friend, signals to him in the second room.
INT. RICK FAIRWAY’S SECOND ROOM - NIGHT Rick rolls up to Marty and sets the wine on a table. MARTY Too busy for me these days? RICK Try hosting at your house, Marty! Marty hands Rick a drink. MARTY No way, Rick. Christmas is your thing. I dunno how you do it! RICK Everyone having a good time? MARTY Look around. It’s always a big hit. Why worry? RICK ‘Cause people look forward to this. I can’t let them down. MARTY You never do. Think about yourself for a change. You see Lisa?
Rick spots LISA (25), an attractive woman talking with people on a couch. She glances at Rick. Yeah? RICK
MARTY She’s been watching you all night. RICK Where’s a mistletoe when you need one? The two LAUGH when a third voice joins in. Rick and Marty stop and turn to DENNIS (30’s). He’s the annoying friend one cannot get rid of. He wears a god-awful Christmas sweater. DENNIS Ha ha, yeah. What are you guys talking about? MARTY Nothing, Dennis.
DENNIS Bitchin’ party, Rick. RICK Thanks, Dennis. DENNIS (spots wine) Ooo! What do we have here? Rick grabs the wine before Dennis gets hold. RICK It’s one of my presents, actually. Oh, okay. DENNIS
The three look down into their drinks. Awkward silence as Marty and Rick sip quietly. DENNIS (CONT’D) You guys wanna talk pussy? Marty and Rick start choking. RICK (handing him wine) What? No. Here, go open this. DENNIS But you just said Just go! RICK
Rick hands Dennis the wine and he goes. MARTY You had to invite Dennis. RICK I felt bad. MARTY I feel bad. Even he’s having more fun than you! RICK What do you want me to do? MARTY Do yourself a favor and relax. Talk to her.
Lisa waves at Rick. He waves back. RICK Right. Her. Dennis appears. He lowers his glasses. DENNIS Oh shit! Look at that piece of ass! RICK Yes, Lisa’s very lovely. DENNIS What? I’m talkin’ about Greta. GRETA (45), waves flirtatiously at them. Dennis waves back. DENNIS (CONT’D) Living next to that...you’re a lucky man, Rick - except for the whole wheelchair thing. MARTY Dennis, can we have some space? DENNIS C’mon guys! We’re talking chicks. RICK Look, Dennis. It’s private, okay? DENNIS Speaking of which - do your’s work? RICK ...my what work? DENNIS Your privates. Do they work? Pause. This is very uncomfortable. MARTY Dennis you need to go now. DENNIS Look Marty RICK No, you look, Dennis. I’m done. Every year the same god-damn jokes. I get it. I’m in a wheelchair. (MORE)
6. RICK (CONT'D) I’m tired of having to deal with your shit, so leave. Now just ‘cause my legs don’t work doesn’t mean I can’t kick you the fuck out. Go.
Everyone stops talking to look at Rick. DENNIS ...whatever. Dennis leaves. APPLAUSE by Rick’s friends. MARTY Where’d that come from? RICK Who the hell knows? Lisa approaches. MARTY You know what, I’m gonna say hi to Tina and Greg. Marty leaves. RICK Wait, what about LISA Hey, Rick. Great party. RICK Oh! Hey, Lisa. LISA I heard you with Dennis RICK I’m so sorry I ruined the fun - I didn’t mean to LISA No, it’s fine! You’re not a pushover. RICK Well, please don’t try. LISA And you’re funny, too. I like talking to you.
RICK I do too. Well, to you, not talk to myself ‘cause only crazy people Rick stops himself, takes a deep breath. RICK (CONT’D) Look, Lisa - I’m not very good at this, but I was thinking The music starts skipping. RICK (CONT’D) Steve, I swear to God leave Kenny G alone! Steve flees from the records again. RICK (CONT’D) Sorry. Okay. I was just wondering if maybe you’d want to LISA Talk in private? RICK Well what’s wrong with - Oh. Oh. Yes. Yes, please. Let’s do that. We can head to my room if The doorbell RINGS. RICK (CONT’D) Just my luck. Wait a moment? Of course. LISA
RICK Make sure everyone still has fun! 5 EXT. RICK FAIRWAY’S HOUSE - NIGHT Rick leaves the party to answer the door. Hello? RICK Hello? 5
Rick rolls out a little further. He notices a small present on the bottom of the ramp. What the RICK (CONT’D)
Rick rolls down the ramp, his tires slip on the patch of ice and he quickly rolls all the way down. RICK (CONT’D) Jesus Christ! He picks up the small present, about to open it. 6 INT. RICK FAIRWAY’S HOUSE - NIGHT 6
Marty and others rub their arms and shiver. Marty notices the open door. MARTY What kind of idiot would leave the door open? He closes the door. 7 EXT. RICK FAIRWAY’S HOUSE - NIGHT Rick hears the door close. Oh God. RICK 7
He puts the present in his pocket. He tries to roll back up the ramp, but the ice causes him to slide to the bottom. RICK (CONT’D) Crap. Crap. Crap. HEY! GUYS! GUYS! CAN YOU HEAR ME? Suddenly loud rap plays from inside. RICK (CONT’D) DAMMIT STEVE! LEAVE KENNY G ALONE! TURN IT OFF AND GET THE DOOR, GOD DAMMIT! Lisa appears in the window. RICK (CONT’D) LISA! LISA!! GET THE DOOR! I’M OUTSIDE! A man appears and passionately makes out with Lisa. RICK (CONT’D) WHAT?! WHAT!?!? LISA! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU MAKE SURE PEOPLE HAVE FUN!
They close the blinds. RICK (CONT’D) It’s okay. The party only goes on for another... Rick checks his watch. RICK (CONT’D) Four hours. A snow flake falls on his lap. Shit. He sees a car come down the street and Rick rolls towards them. RICK (CONT’D) HEY! WAIT! HELP! Rick goes to the street but the car passes before him. He looks back at his icy driveway, then at his lively house. He sighs and wheels away. 8 EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - NIGHT He rolls into a neighborhood and sees TWO KIDS (8) as the make a snowman. RICK Hey kids! Thank God! Could you two help me out? KID #1 Hey, look at the wheelchair! The kids laugh. RICK Yes, very funny. Are your parents around? I need help. KID #2 Our parents don’t let us talk to strangers. RICK I’m Rick. See? Not a stranger. KID #1 Don’t talk to the stranger in the wheelchair. Kid #1 starts kicking at Rick’s legs. Rick removes the kid’s hands from him. 8
RICK Would you please cut it out? KID #1 What’re you gonna do about it, Rollie? KID #2 Yeah, Rollie. RICK Look, I really need help could you please KID #1 Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick! KID #2 Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick!
RICK (CONT’D) Seriously though KID #1 Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick! KID #2 Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick! Rollie Rick!
RICK (CONT’D) SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SHITS! KID #1 Ooooooooh. You said the “S” word! KID #2 Santa has you on the naughty list now. RICK SANTA ISN’T REAL! The words echo. W-w-what? KID #2
KID #1 Santa isn’t... RICK NO! OF COURSE NOT! IT’S JUST YOUR MOM BUYING YOU SPOILED BRATS SHIT YOU DON’T DESERVE! Their MOTHER (40’s) comes to the front door.
MOTHER Boys, who’s there? The boys WAIL. KID #1 Santa isn’t real and the mean man told us! KID #2 He said it’s just you and we don’t deserve presents! What? MOTHER
RICK I’m so sorry about this Miss but I really need to KID #1 And then he touched us! WHAT?! WHAT?!?! MOTHER RICK
MOTHER You get away from my kids! RICK I would never EVAN (O.S.) What’s wrong, hon? MOTHER Some perve is trying to touch our boys! EVAN (O.S.) WHAT THE HELL!? RICK No! I never KID #2 And he said that if we told anyone that he’d find us and do it again.
MOTHER Oh my God! Boys get inside. Evan! Call the police, a child-molesting wheelchaired freak is trying to rape our kids! RICK Let’s just talk this out! EVAN (O.S.) I’M GETTING THE RIFLE! Good day. RICK
EVAN (45) comes out of the house with a rifle. Rick flees as GUNSHOTS are fired. 9 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 9
Rick rolls for his life and until he runs out of energy. He rolls down a street dimly lit by street lamps. He is visibly colder and his teeth chatter. He looks around, sees nothing. He turns back, sees nothing, but then notices a small trail on the snow. The blood leads back to his wheelchair. He puts his hand on his leg and finds a bullet wound that drips blood. He holds his hand up to try and get better light when suddenly the headlights of a car hit his hand. A car approaches. RICK Hey! Stop! Hey! Over here! The car slows to a halt. The window rolls down to reveal Dennis, still in stupid sweater and sunglasses. RICK (CONT’D) Oh dear God. DENNIS Why hello, Rick. Out for a stroll? RICK Look, Dennis. I know you hate me but I really need your help. DENNIS Sorry, Rick. No can do. I’m a little... busy.
Greta leans forwards and winks at Rick. DENNIS (CONT’D) Later, Rick. RICK Wait! Dennis, can’t you give me a lift please? DENNIS What for? You got wheels! Dennis speeds off with a laugh. Rick rolls after in vain. RICK Dennis you douche! Who the hell wears sunglasses at night? A SCREECH followed by a CRASH in the distance. That guy. RICK (CONT’D)
Rick hears a WOMAN (25) ahead. Rick rolls ahead and finds her wheelchair fallen sideways. RICK (CONT’D) Good God, what happened? WOMAN That jerk almost hit me. RICK Hold on lemme help you up. Rick puts his hands on her wheel and pulls with all his might. His hands slip from the blood. He’s light-headed and falls out of his wheelchair. WOMAN Hey, are you okay? No response. She crawls over to him and pats his face. He comes to and looks at her. WOMAN (CONT’D) You gonna be okay? RICK Yeah. I think it’s gonna be okay. She sees blood around his leg.
WOMAN You’re bleeding. A little. RICK
She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a scarf. WOMAN You should have this. She ties it around his leg and moves herself to his side. He turns on to face her, but feels a pain in his waist. WOMAN (CONT’D) What is it? RICK Wait a minute... He takes out the small present. He sets it on the pavement between them. Here. RICK (CONT’D)
The woman doesn’t know how to respond. RICK (CONT’D) It’s for you. I don’t know why, but trust me. She picks it up, opens it, and looks inside. Well? RICK (CONT’D)
The woman smiles and pulls out a mistletoe. They laugh softly. She puts it on the ground above their heads. From above they appear to stand. They kiss. RICK (CONT’D) Heh...Warm.