10 stupid questions people usually ask in

obvious
> > >>>Situations and some equally stupid answers:> > >>>
> > >>>1.At the movies:When you meet
> > acquaintances/friends
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing
here?
> > >>>Answer:-Well,it's so hot , there were no
cool
> > cabs so I thought i'd
> > >>>watch
> > >>>some advertisements in the cool comfort of
the
> > theatre.
> > >>>
> > >>>2.In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed
> > high-heeled shoes steps on
> > >>>your
> > >>>feet
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
> > >>>Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local
> > anesthesia.....why don't you try
> > >>>again or should i try this time."
> > >>>
> > >>>3.At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people
ask
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all
people.
> > >>>Answer:-Why?Would it rather have been you?
> > >>>
> > >>>4.At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah"
dish
> > good
> > >>>Answer:-No, its teribble and made of
adulterated
> > cement.We occasionaly
> > >>>also spit in it.
> > >>>

> > >>>5.At a family get-together.When some distant

aunt
> > meets you after years
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've
become so
> > big.
> > >>>Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk
> > yourself.
> > >>>
> > >>>6.When a friend announces her wedding, and
you
> > ask
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying
good?
> > >>>Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,
> > insensitive lout...it's just
> > >>>the money.
> > >>>
> > >>>7.When you get woken up at midnight by a
phone
> > call
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
> > >>>Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India
at
> > Sharjah and just when
> > >>>you
> > >>>called Salim Malik was betting with me that
> > Pakistan would win.What do
> > >>>you
> > >>>think?
> > >>>
> > >>>8.When you see a friend/colleague with
evidently
> > shorter hair
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
> > >>>Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm
shedding......
> > >>>
> > >>>9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed
> > oblects in your mouth

> > >>>Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?

> > >>>Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell
me
> > if I bite.
> > >>>
> > >>>10.You are smoking a cigarette and a cute
woman
> > asks
> > >>>Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
> > >>>Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........it was
a
> > chalk and now it's in
> > >>>flames!!!
*********************************************************************************************

BIOLOGY LECTURE
>
> A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class
on 'Observation'. He
> took out a jar of yellow-coloured liquid. "This",
he explained, "is
urine.
> To be a doctor, you have to be observant to
colour, smell, sight, and
> taste."
>
> After saying this, he dipped his finger into the
jar and put it into his
> mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most,
in disgust. But being the
> good students that they were, the jar was passed,
and one by one, they
> dipped one finger into the jar and then put it
into their mouth.
>
> After the last student was done, the lecturer
shook his head. "If any of
> you had been observant, you would have noticed
that I put my 2nd finger

into
> the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."
>
*************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > !
> > > !''!;, !! ,;:'''!;,
> > > ! '!!!!'
> > > ,,,,?O?,,,,
> > > cc$$$$$$$$$$$$$cc
> > > cc$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$cc
> > > c$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c
> > > ,c$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,
> > > ,c$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> > > ,d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,
> > > ,$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$h$$$,
> > > ,$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,
> > > J$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b$
> > > $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> > > $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> > > '$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
> > > '$$$$$$'MMMMM$$$$$$$$MMMMM'$$$$$$$'
> > > '$$$$$$'MMMM'$$$$$$$$$'MMMM'$$$$$$$'
> > > '$$$$$$$" "M$$$$$$$$$$M" ",$$$$$$$'
> > > ?$$$$$( O )'$$$$$$$$$$'( O )$$$$$?
> > > ?$$$$( )'$$$$$$$$$$$'( )$$$$?
> > > '$$$$$.'-' $$$$$$$$$$$,'-',$$$'
> > > '$$$$$$$$$$?'''''?$$$$$$$$$'
> > > d$$$$$$$$$$ ?? $$$$$$$$$$b
> > > $$$$$$$$$$$o,,?,,o$$$$$$$$$$$
> > > "??$$$$P"'"$$$$$$'''''?$$$$??"
> > > $$$$$,
> > > ,$$$$$$,
> > > ,$$$$$$$$,
> > > ,$$$$$$$$$$$,
> > > ,$$!()$$$$$$()!$$,
> > > $$!!()$$$!$$$()!!$$
> > > '$$!()$$$$$$$()!$$'

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?$()$$$$$$$$()$?
?()$$$$!$$$$()?
'$$$$!!!$$$$'
'?$?'''''?$?'
-oOOO OOOoYou have been seen by the tweety bird!
He will grant you one wish.
Make your wish when the count down is over...

********************************************

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,

"Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The
other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
***********************************************
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I
was a fool when I married you." The husband
replied, "Yes,
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
************************************************
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than
to let him keep her.
************************************************
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to
interrupt her.
*************************************************
A man said his credit card was stolen but he
decided not to
report it because the thief was spending less than
his wife

did.
*****************************************The secret
of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-- Henny Youngman
****************************
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was
water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the
car?" She
said, "In the lake."
-- Henny Youngman