Chapter 1 "Rise and shine, Miss Rachel! Today's a big, big day!

" Rachel rolled over to face her dads, squinting in the bright light that they had turned on. A quick glance out the window confirmed that it was still dark out. But as Hiram held up the new plaid dress they had bought the day before, she instantly remembered what today was and flew out of bed. Her first audition for television. It felt like such a great accomplishment for seven years old. Leroy had seen the ad about the new children's show filming in Lima two weeks ago, and Rachel's training regimen had been kicked into high gear ever since. Her dads had been getting her up early, even though summer vacation had just begun, rushing her to extra dance and voice lessons before spending every afternoon coaching her on acting. She was ready. A star at seven. That would certainly get her into the fancy acting colleges her dads were always going on about, right? Noah's mother was furiously trying to tame his hair as he struggled to run away. He had already suffered the indignity of being forced into a nice shirt and a bowtie, after being sternly reminded to keep them neat. "Please, Noah, just be good. If you hadn't been getting into trouble after school, we wouldn't even be doing this." His mother was trying to hide the Mohawk that Noah had given himself with the kitchen scissors three days ago, and the tugs from the comb were annoying him. It wasn't his fault! The older boys had been the ones who led him to that store and told him to steal the cigarette packets in his jackets. And here he was, getting ready to audition for a stupid kid's show just so "he'd have something constructive to do in the afternoons". But maybe his guitar lessons would pay off. "Mom, I can't do this!", Finn complained as Carole led him to the car. "I don't sing, I don't dance, I only play drums and this whole idea is stupid." "Sweetheart, I know this isn't what you like to do, but I have to be there every day anyway and it's really hard to find a baby-sitter. You're going to have to be there all the time, so you may as well at least try to be on the show." "They won't even let me on. And besides, this stuff's for little kids. Can't I do something else? I'll...I'll help move things!" Carole stopped at a red light and turned to ruffle Finn's hair. "Too young, kiddo! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Kurt checked his outfit one last time in the mirror. Short grey pants, a clean white shirt, a blue bowtie. Perfect. They were going to love him. He knew that if he did get on the show, the teasing he was already getting at school would only double. Maybe even triple. He was trying out for a kids show. Bad enough that the bullies at school already made fun of his clothes and his voice. Now they'd be adding "baby" to the list of insults. Though, considering the kinds of insults he was normally getting, "baby" would be the least of his problems. Besides, this was his chance to do a real performance. It would be nice to perform for someone other than his father. Brittany wasn't exactly sure what she was supposed to do today. All she knew for sure was that she was going to be dancing in a magic garden. And that there would be a pink rabbit there. She was just excited to meet the talking rabbit. She tried to talk to the rabbits that came through her backyard sometimes, but they never said anything. "Michael Chang, for the last time, you are not going to that audition!" Mike Chang Senior roared at his son. "This singing and dancing is taking away too much time from your school work, and then you'll never amount to anything!" Before Mike could protest, his father had already left for work. He checked the clock; only half an hour left until the auditions were going to start. No time for him to walk there. It wasn't fair. He was good at school, very good for a third grader, but he never enjoyed it. Not like dancing around his room when his homework was done - except when his father caught him and sat him in the living room with a math textbook where he could see him. His mother came into the kitchen, and Mike tensed, pulling his homework sheets closer, expecting another lecture about school work. But instead his mother came behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Did you still want to go to that audition?" Mike looked up in disbelief. Was this the same mother who had yelled at him when he got a B in science? Whatever. He was going to take it. "Get your things, Michael. We can still make it if we hurry." "Ready to go, buddy?" Cooper Anderson asked, opening the door to the car. Blaine raced out the front door, carrying the headshot that his brother had insisted on him getting and climbed into the car. Finally, a chance to be an actor. Just like his brother.

"All right, buddy, remember to smile when you're in there. They're going to love you. And you can be just like me." Just like Cooper! He may have been only 16, but Cooper had already been in seven commercials and now he was starring in a very popular teen drama. The Anderson brothers had been performing shows in their garage since Blaine could remember. But lately, Cooper had started booking shows and had gotten too busy for shows with Blaine. Even worse, his parents had been fawning over Cooper ever since, and ignoring Blaine. Well, that wasn't going to happen anymore. Blaine'd be on TV. He'd make his parents love him just as much. The line at the studio seemed to stretch for miles with excited yells electrifying the air. .It was all too much for Tina, who really didn't want to be there. She gripped tighter to the bars of Artie's wheelchair. "Artie, I don't want to do this." "I want you to do this with me. My mom wouldn't let me audition if I didn't have someone to go with. Besides, you're a good singer." "But I hate being in front of people. I'm not like you." Tina had known Artie for four years. They'd met in a dance class, and went over to each other's houses after every class to practice and perform for their parents. Or they had until the accident. After that, Artie couldn't dance, at least not like before. So he had decided to learn to sing, and Tina decided to try it with him. They found that they were both very good at it, but while Artie enjoyed singing in school talent shows, Tina had thrown up the first time she set foot onto a stage. Singing wasn't like dancing. In dancing, she wasn't the only one performing, and if she made a mistake, it was easy to hide in the back. Singing was all eyes on her. Just like TV would be. But she wanted to be there for her friend. So when Artie had showed her the ad, she had found a song that she could sing. And she was going to try. But her hopes weren't all that high. "All right, people, listen up! You come in one at a time, and you try to impress us with your mediocre voices, the tall blonde woman shouted into a megaphone. "If we decide you're not complete hacks, we'll call you back to learn a dance. You got it? First in line, show me what you got." Sugar Motta followed the tall blonde with the megaphone into the small room at the end of the hall. Seated behind a table were two other women, one husky, the other petite,

redheaded, and doe-eyed. Nearby was a clunky upright piano, behind which a bearded man sat, with a hand extended patiently, waiting for Sugar to pass him her sheet music. "Hi, I'm Sugar Motta, and I'm going to sing 'Part Of Your World' from The Little Mermaid." What followed could probably be heard all over Lima, in all its off-key glory. "Well, thank you, Sugar, sputtered the redhead when Sugar (finally) finished. "Um...I don't think we need to see anymore, thank you." Sugar pouted. "I guess I'll tell my daddy to take me home. He'll be so sad that I don't get to be his little star." The husky woman leaned towards her. "Wait a minute, who's your father?" "Oh, he's Al Motta. Of Al Motta's Music." The three had a hurried consultation. "We'll see you later for the dance audition." "My name is Kurt Hummel, and I will be singing 'Where Is Love' from Oliver" Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes, putting all of his soul into the words. He had heard a few snickers as he started, but he was used to it. What he wasn't used to was the shushing sounds. And then the silence that continued even after he finished the song and opened his eyes. Two of the people behind the table were weeping openly. The woman in the middle wasn't, but Kurt could see the soft smile on her face. He knew he'd nailed it. His dad would be so proud. "Hi, I'm Brittany. I'm going to sing a song I wrote about my cat." The judges weren't sure how to react. The one with the red hair asked her "Sweetie, do you have another song? One that we know?" Brittany pouted. She hadn't been told about that part. "Why?" The judge looked flustered, and she seemed to be thinking for a while. "Well, on this show we sing songs that everyone knows, so that's what we want to hear you sing." "OK, then I'll sing 'On Top Of Spaghetti'"

The judges exchanged a look, but soon nodded at her to begin. Brittany was confused. Did they not know the song? She thought everyone knew it. But she was going to sing and dance her heart out. She danced around the room, acting out the song, making sneeze noises, and singing at the top of her lungs. When she was done, the three women leaned in towards each other and whispered. Brittany could hear words like "adorable" and "original" but also "confused". Did that mean she wasn't getting in? Eventually, they looked back up."Thank you so much, we'll see you later for the dance audition", said the woman in the middle. "Thanks. Can I go see the bunny now?" Lauren Zizes did not want to be there. She was sure she was too old - she could only see three other kids who were even close to eleven, which was the oldest they could be to audition. The only reason she was there was because her mother wanted her to do something other than sit in her room reading after school. But she was determined to make sure that the audition was as far as she got. "Hi. I'm Lauren. I'm going to sing the Macarena." And without waiting for an answer from the judges, she launched into it, doing the dance, purposely messing it up even though it was the easiest dance in the world. When she was done, the woman on the right just said "Thank you, we'll see you at the dance audition." As Lauren left the room, she overheard the woman who had thanked her say "Well, she's original." So she was still in. She'd have to work even harder to make sure she messed up the dance audition too.

Artie had made it, and to his relief, so had Tina. But they still had the dance audition to get through, and he was worried about that. He had never tried to dance in his wheelchair before, and Tina was no help in reassuring him. "Artie, I don't think I can do this," Tina stuttered. She had been pacing around Artie's chair since she left the audition room. "I'm not a dancer. Just look at those guys." Tina pointed out three kids sitting close together, a Chinese boy and two girls, one blonde and one Latina. All of them were practicing dance steps, moving with a grace that Tina had never seen before, even from Artie before the accident. "I'm no good. This was a mistake. I never should have come." Artie sighed. Tina wasn't going to be any help. Just then, he noticed the red-headed judge leave the room. She clapped her hands for attention.

"All right everyone, we're ready to start the dance audition. Can you all please go wait in the large studio over there?" She pointed out a set of double doors that the remaining 15 kids began to enter. Artie approached the woman on his way in. "Excuse me, miss...um...miss..." "Miss Emma," the woman said with a smile. "Miss Emma, um...I was wondering how I could dance since I'm, well, you know..." he finished lamely, gesturing to the wheelchair. Miss Emma nodded in understanding. "Just follow along as best you can. And remember to smile and have fun." "Got it. Thanks." Artie smiled at Miss Emma, who returned the smile with an even bigger one. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Santana Lopez had been dancing for six years, and she was completely sure of her own abilities. She certainly sang well, but once the judges saw her dance, there was no way she wouldn't be on TV. The blonde in the yellow track suit, who introduced herself as Miss Sue, taught her and the others a dance, but it was nothing like Santana's dance classes. "All right, monkeys, pay attention, I'm only gonna say this once." She then proceeded to rattle off a long dance routine. Santana understood it, all her years of dance training had come in handy. A few of the others looked like they understood what was going on as well, but most of them looked positively confused. "Um, excuse me?" A black girl raised her hand nervously. "Could you maybe show us that?" "No questions!" Miss Sue barked. "You think this is hard? Try being hung by your toenails on a rack for two days, that's hard. Now get up and do it together, and I don't want to hear any complaining!" Santana leapt to her feet and started the dance, watching the others from the corner of her eye. The tall gawky one was practically tripping over his feet, the loud brunette girl made up for her questionable talent with her enthusiasm, and the boy in the wheelchair was gamely following along, making large arm movements and rolling in the direction the others were moving. Her eyes were quickly drawn to one of the two blonde girls, the one who looked lost when they had first come in, the one who had stared at Miss Sue open-mouthed the entire time. Santana had been so sure she'd be the first to trip over her own feet, but when she danced, she was incredible, better than Santana.

After the group had gone through the whole dance twice, Miss Sue yelled at them to take a water break while she and the other judges talked over a few things. Santana went up to the blonde girl, who was drinking from a glittery pink reusable bottle. "How do you do it?" she asked. The blonde girl turned. "Do what?" "The dancing. I mean, I didn't even understand half of what Miss Sue was saying and I've been dancing for years. I've never seen anyone dance like you before." The blonde girl cocked her head. "Is that...is that a good thing?" Santana softened a little. Her mother had always told her that she came on too strong when she met people, and she was proud of it. It was hard for her to keep friends at school, even though she was pretty and talented, so she kept her guards up. But something about that girl and her big blue eyes told her that this girl could be trusted. "It's a very good thing," she said with a smile. She was about to say more when Miss Sue interrupted. "All right, rugrats, get back in there. You're going to do the dance in small groups." The blonde girl ran back into the room before Santana could even ask for the girl's name.

Once all the groups had gone, Miss Sue started again. "All right. Rachel, Blaine, Kurt, Brittany, and Santana. You five are on the show. As for the rest of you, it's back to whatever pathetic dreams you all had bef..." She was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder from Miss Emma. "Sue, you know that we need at least 15." "The scripts call for five people per episode." "Yes, but the child labour laws specifically say that kids can only work a certain amount of time..." "Damn the laws! Sue Sylvester does what she wants to!" "Do you still want to have your show?" That left Miss Sue speechless for a moment. She quickly counted the number of dancers left in the room.

"All right, change of plans. Even though most of you are completely undeserving of this, you're all in the show. Don't make me regret it."

Chapter 2 Rachel breezed through the first dance practice. All of the moves were familiar to her from her four years of dance classes. Most of the girls were doing as well as she was and a few of the boys too. But her eye was drawn to the tall brunette in the back standing between the Mohawk boy and the large girl, stumbling through even the most basic steptouch move. "Sloppy, babies! Absolutely despicable!" Sue yelled. "And you," she continued, approaching the gawky boy. "You're an absolute Franken-child! No rhythm whatsoever. You all have five minutes to clean it up, and it better be perfect when I come back!" With that, Sue stalked out of the room, muttering angrily. Rachel decided to help the boy out. Not everyone was born with her talent, she knew that. And it was only right to at least help others try to attain it. Blaine was enjoying the first rehearsal, even though Miss Sue was yelling if they messed up even slightly. The other two, Miss Emma and Miss Shannon, were at least trying to be encouraging, but it was clear to Blaine that Miss Sue was in charge of everything, including the other two adults. When Miss Sue had finished yelling at the tall boy in the back for the third time, she called a break. Blaine sat where he was, hoping to take in the people, see who he wanted to meet - he hadn't been able to talk to anyone at auditions because Cooper had been giving him tips the entire time. Everyone seemed to be forming groups of two or three the three best dancers were together, the two Asian kids and the boy in the wheelchair, the short brunette with the loud voice and the tall boy (though the tall boy looked as though he didn't want her there). A shy looking boy about his age came up to him. "Is it OK if I sit here?" Blaine nodded and patted the ground next to him. "My name's Blaine." "Kurt". The other boy was looking at the ground. "Is everything OK?" "Yeah, I guess. It's just that I thought this was going to be very different. I like singing and dancing, but I don't think these songs are very good." Blaine had to laugh. Not only were they learning dances to songs they already knew, Miss Emma had been teaching them songs that she had written herself about things like picking up toys and not being scared of the doctor. Even with Blaine's few years of piano (where he mostly had to learn long complicated classical songs that he really didn't like), he knew he could write a better song.

Finn had been so sure that hiding in the back row would have meant he wouldn't have had to work hard at dancing. He knew that he had only made it to the dance audition because of his mom, who was now sewing costumes down the hall. And while he was a terrible dancing, it HAD to be better than sewing with his mom, right? Instead, he stood next to the Mohawk guy he had met at the singing auditions (Puck, he remembered) and they struggled through the choreography together. Things were okay, at least until Sue yelled at him. Seconds after that, a small brunette ran up to him, offering her hand for a shake, which he awkwardly took as she talked endlessly, seemingly without taking a breath. "Hi, I'm Rachel Berry! I can help you with your dancing if you need it! I've been dancing for four years and I can do everything we're doing perfectly. And it's not that I think you're bad or anything, but of course everyone on this show needs to be amazing and I saw how Sue was yelling at you so it's obvious you do need help and we can start right now if you'd like." Finn finally managed to get a word in as she stopped to take a breath. "Um...hi...I...I guess it would be cool for you to teach me to dance." "Perfect! We'll start right now. The step-touch...anyone can do a step touch!" "Um...I can't." "It's easy!" Rachel started to do the step in front of Finn, slowly. "Come on, just start with your right foot" Finn tried to move. "Your other right. And you never told me your name." "It's Finn, he said as he attempted the step again, this time managing to not get his feet tangled. "See, you're doing well! You could be a star like me. You look like a young McCauley Culkin. Just keep working on it. We can always do more on the weekend - my dads can get me time at my dance studio for us to work." "All right, rugrats, you're done for today, and so help you if you forget to practice at home," Sue said as the group rushed for their bags and coats. Blaine and Kurt sat together in the locker room as the prepared to leave, still keeping up the easy conversation they had been having during every break. Kurt had never met someone quite like Blaine before. Blaine played soccer and baseball, but he also liked to watch movies and sing like Kurt, and he didn't judge Kurt at all for

liking clothes and baking. They had the same favourite colours (red and blue), favourite movies (Wizard of Oz and Mary Poppins), and they both thought the songs were dumb, even though they were happy to be on TV. "Can we get together next week?" Blaine was asking. "We could watch movies together." "Sure" answered Kurt. "I'd like that." "And I have another idea. We should try to be in as many episodes together as we can, OK? It's going to be a lot more fun having you around" Kurt smiled. As excited as he was to start getting to know the others, something told him that meeting someone so much like him was going to mean a lot. Chapter 3 "I know you're the one in charge here, but I was just thinking..." "What is it, Hemo? What mediocrity do you have for us?" "Well, I was just thinking that we should take advantage of the fact that we have a handicapable child in our cast and build an episode around him. Show the kids that just because you're in a wheelchair, it doesn't mean you're different from anyone else." "While I do respect your important and uplifting message for all the poor, hopeless dreamers who watch this show, I feel the need to remind you that there aren't any public domain songs about wheelchairs." "Actually, I was thinking that we could write the songs ourselves." "Hey, I'm no songwriter," said Shannon. "I'm no Hammerstein or anything." "Oh come on, it can't be that hard. I took the liberty of buying us a few rhyming dictionaries, and that Ryerson guy I met at the props store is good with a piano. I'm sure this will work very well." "Very well, Erin," decided Sue. "I can't imagine these songs will be any good, but our audience is going to be way too hopped up on sugar cereals and chocolate milk to care." "You think this is hard? Try running from snipers in Uganda, that's hard! Again from the top!" "Excuse me, Miss Sue!"

Everyone on set sighed in frustration. Except for Santana, who was getting used to Brittany constantly asking to meet the bunny, The poor girl still hadn't realized that the older man who practiced all the dances with them (and spent every break hanging off Miss Emma, it was really quite disgusting) was the person who put on the bunny suit when they were filming. Brittany asked the same question every rehearsal, and at first Miss Sue and Miss Shannon and Miss Emma had tried to explain things to her. But now they just kept ignoring her. The other kids had tried to explain too, but eventually even they just gave up and ignored her as well. "Brittany, I don't even want to hear it right now. You have a five minute water break and then we're going over all the numbers again. And they'd better be perfect." As they always did when on a break, Brittany plopped down next to Santana, shiny pink water bottle in hand. "San, why doesn't anyone like me?" "I like you, Britt. And I don't like a whole lot of people, especially here. You're a great dancer." "I only ever wanted to meet a real bunny. But every time he's there, they tell me what to say and then I don't see him anywhere else. And no one else talks to me but you." Santana opened her mouth to explain what they were doing again, but realized it wasn't worth it. Honestly, she thought Brittany wanting to meet the bunny was kind of cute. "I'm sure you'll get to meet him soon. Now come on, let's go work on that dance." Rachel was determined to take advantage of the fact that she was starring in the safety episode with Finn. She had gone to her dads for advice on how to get Finn to like her and dance with her. "Rachel, darling", her papa Hiram had said, "if you want a boy to like you, you need to get their attention. Now, I first met your daddy..." "Hiram!" Leroy had whispered harshly. "Do you really want to tell her that?" "Leroy, she asked!" "Still, I don't think innocent ears should hear the sordid details of exactly how you got my attention." Leroy turned back to Rachel. "The point is, honey, that you have to just go and get it. Be nice to him, make him see just how wonderful you are. He'll be yours, guaranteed."

Rachel saw her chance just as Finn was leaving the change room. She ran up to talk to him. Smile, she reminded herself. Compliment him. "Hi Finn!", she all but yelled. "You look very nice today! I like your outfit!" He really did look cute in a green polo and overalls. Not what she always dreamed of when she thought of her wedding, but still very adorable. "Um...they made me wear it", Finn answered, looking at his feet. "Oh, Finn, you're so funny!" Rachel said, laughing a little too loud. "Did you practice the dance? Because we have some time before we start filming and of course I want the show to be perfect and no offense but you do need to work harder than I do..." "Um...I should probably go..." Finn looked around frantically. "I think Miss Sue is calling us." He ran off, leaving Rachel to wonder what she did wrong. Once he had escaped from Rachel and her constant chatter, Finn took in the set they would be performing on for...he didn't know how long he'd be stuck here. It was trying to look like a garden, or maybe a park, but it didn't look quite right. The floor was painted green, probably to be grass, and there were cardboard trees everywhere. Fake flowers were attached to the floor, and in the middle of it all sat a large picnic table. Miss Sue was shoving Finn and the others into their places for the beginning. They were supposed to be pretending to play Red Light Green Light and singing a song about it. Finn was sure that the song was supposed to be Muffin Man, but the words were different.

GARDEN. RACHEL, FINN, ARTIE, SUGAR, and MERCEDES are playing Red Light/ Green Light. ARTIE is "it" A song starts. To the tune of "Muffin Man" ALL Oh we all watch the traffic light/The traffic light/The traffic light/Oh we all watch the traffic light/It helps us every day. ARTIE Green light! The kids move ALL When the light is green it's time to move/ It's time to move/It's time to move/When the light is green it's time to move/And we can

run and play/Oh we all watch the traffic light/ The traffic light/The traffic light/Oh we all watch the traffic light/It helps us every day ARTIE Red light! They all stop, except for Sugar, who stumbles forward a few extra steps ARTIE I caught you, Sugar! Laughter. ARTIE When the light is red you have to stop/You have to stop/You have to stop/When the light is red you have to stop/Cause that's the safest way ALL Oh we all watch the traffic light/The traffic light/The traffic light/Oh we all watch the traffic light/It helps us every day/YEAH! The kids sit at the picnic bench FINN This is my favorite game! SUGAR Mine too!

It took three takes for Miss Sue to be satisfied with the opening scene, and they were preparing to move on to film a rap song about strangers. This scene had Mr. Fluffles in it, but Finn hadn't seen him. Come to think of it, he had met the man playing him, but he had never seen the costume. "All right, where's that godforsaken rabbit?" Sue was yelling. "Enema, can you get him out here?" Miss Emma ran out of the room for a second, and when she returned, she was followed by a large bunny, the same shade of pink as the medicine his mother sometimes took for her stomach. His face was completely covered in face paint the same shade of pink, and the way he was staring at Finn, was a little...strange.

FLUFFLES Oh, I'm so glad you're learning to be safe! But you know kids, there's one more

very important thing you all should know about. SUGAR What's that, Mr. Fluffles? FLUFFLES You need to know about stranger safety. ARTIE What's a stranger? A rap beat starts FLUFFLES A stranger is a person that you don't know/When you see a stranger you need to go/Run far away/Run straight ahead/Get away from there/That's what I said ALL When a stranger comes, that's what you do/Do what we say/Cause we care about you FLUFFLES If a stranger tries to give you candy or a ride/You gotta just say no, take my advice/If they want to touch you where you don't feel cool/You gotta tell your parents or someone at school ALL When a stranger comes, that's what you do/Do what we say/Cause we care about you FLUFFLES If they touch where a bathing suit would go/You'd better run away and just yell NO/Hear what we say, that's just wrong/Your body is yours, so sing this song! ALL When a stranger comes/That's what you do/Do what we say/Cause we care about you/When a stranger comes/That's what you do/Do what we say/Because we care about you!

They broke for lunch when they were about halfway through shooting the episode, and Finn went to find a place far away from Rachel to eat in peace. He didn't need her talking his ear off about things he barely understood anyway. He went into the changing room to get his lunch box and came face to face with the man playing the rabbit, still wearing his costume. "It's Finn, right?" he asked, putting a hand on Finn's shoulder. "Um...yeah." "You're doing really well. You remind me a lot of me when I was your age." The man got closer to Finn, beginning to massage his shoulders. "Thanks", Finn answered, struggling to get away. "Will?" Miss Emma was knocking on the door. "Are you in there? I wanted to take you for lunch." Will dashed from the room, leaving Finn standing with his lunch, trying to make sense of what had been going on. That was creepy.

SUGAR Mr. Fluffles, I still don't understand. FLUFFLES Well Sugar, if a person who you don't know tries to touch you in a way that makes you feel funny, you need to run away. ARTIE And never talk to people you don't know. Most people are nice, but some people aren't FLUFFLES That's right! And it's better to be safe than sorry! RACHEL Don't worry, Sugar. I can show you what to do! They ROLE PLAY. Mr. Fluffles pretends to be a stranger, walks up to Finn.

FLUFFLES Hello, little boy. Would you like a lollipop? FINN Sure! Fluffles reaches out towards Finn, who doesn't react. Dramatic piano music as Rachel runs up to them. RACHEL NO! NO! NO! NO! That's not what you do! FLUFFLES (Approaching Rachel) Hello, little girl. Would you like me to give you a ride home? RACHEL NO! FLUFFLES (Reaching out) But your mother said you should come. RACHEL NO! NO! NO! She runs RACHEL (CONT) DADDY! DADDY! Someone bad tried to give me a ride home! ARTIE/MERCEDES YAY RACHEL! RACHEL See Sugar, that's what you do! SUGAR I get it now! ARTIE And you should never answer the phone when you're home by yourself. MERCEDES Or the door. FLUFFLES And always tell your parents if someone tries to hurt you or touch you in an uncomfortable way, like Rachel did. RACHEL

Or you can tell your teacher ARTIE Or the police. They're your friends and they want to help you. FLUFFLES And never ever go anywhere alone!

Chapter 4
BRITTANY I know what else gives you perfect teeth! Going to the dentist! FLUFFLES That's right, Brittany. I have a friend for you to meet today who's a dentist. HOWELL enters HOWELL Hi kids! FLUFFLES This is my friend Dr. Howell. He's a dentist for children just like you! SANTANA Dr. Howell, how can we help keep our teeth healthy? HOWELL That's easy, Santana. If you want to have perfect teeth... He takes several TOOTHBRUSHES out of his jacket pocket HOWELL You have to brush and brush! MUSIC, a fun pop beat. The kids take toothbrushes and dance, pretending to brush their teeth. HOWELL My perfect teeth they shine so bright/My perfect teeth are big and strong/ I brush my perfect teeth each night/Whi le I sing this brushing song

FLUFFLES Up and down and all around/My teeth are perfect, can't you see?/Up and down and all around/My teeth are the best part of me HOWELL So make your mouth a happy place/Brush, brush, brush each night and day/ I t puts a smi le on your face/And makes you want to say hooray! ALL Up and down and all around/My teeth are perfect, can't you see?/Up and down and al l around/My teeth are the best part of me! BRITTANY I love brushing my teeth! It's the best part of my day! HOWELL That's good. That's how your teeth stay strong. And make sure to come and visit your dentist twice a year! KIDS Bye Dr. Howell!

Santana and Brittany were dancing together, practically in each other's faces, as though pretending to brush their teeth was the most exciting thing they could be doing. Puck was pretty sure that their hips were touching. More than once. Finally, something exciting was happening on this dumb show! If only they could ditch the song and just keep the lady touching, because Puck sure was getting annoyed with shooting the stupid brushing song over and over. He was just about to go mad from the boredom when an idea finally came to him It was time to give the moms watching with their kids something to really enjoy. Puck opened his mouth a little wider and stuck his fist in a little deeper as he kept on pretending to brush his teeth, adding a few swivels of his hips for good measure. He waited for someone to yell at them to start over, but it never came. He figured what he was doing looked innocent enough. But hopefully when they went on the mall tour, all the older sisters of those little kids who watched the show would be coming for him. He was sure they'd catch on to his sexy signals. "All right, next episode," Sue began, tapping her pencil against the table. "So we're doing families and Rachel should solo on "Hush Little Baby." Then..."

"Wait a second, wait a second!" Shannon cut in. "Rachel? Again? Everyone's getting sick of her, and we've never given Tina a solo." "So? It's Rachel they like. Rachel, Finn and Blaine. They're clearly the most talented ones in the bunch, and they're keeping our ratings afloat, so we're gonna keep using them." "Sue, I would think that all our kids are talented enough to carry a solo if you'd let them," Emma volunteered. "Besides, wasn't the point of hiring this many people supposed to be to put them in a rotating cast? I'm pretty sure we're breaking certain child labor laws by putting those three in so many episodes." "Look, Emmett, if we want to keep our jobs, we have to make sure the kids are watching. They all sound like squawking barely trained parrots to me, but Rachel, Blaine, and Finn have those earnest faces and vaguely ethnic chubby cheeks that the local sponsors just love. So we use them. They're our money-makers. It's that simple." Emma raised her hands in surrender. "Good. Now as I was saying, Rachel will solo on Hush Little Baby, and then I think we can get one of those guys from Boyz II Men to sing about doing chores..." Kurt arrived at Blaine's house right on time, excited to see what movies Blaine had picked out for their Disney movie marathon and sing-along (or at least he knew it would turn into that). He was greeted at the door by an older boy who he vaguely recognized, but couldn't quite place. Blaine came running up to the door holding a large bowl of popcorn. "Kurt! You're here!" he yelled before wrapping him in a hug. "This is my big brother Cooper. Don't believe anything he says about me." "Cooper?" Kurt repeated, still trying to place him. "Wait...aren't you the guy from That's Life? Jared, or Jake or something?" "Jason, actually," Cooper said with a laugh. "Want my autograph?" "No, that's okay. Everyone at school watches that show, but I never really liked it. Come on, Blaine!" Cooper looked absolutely shocked as Blaine followed Kurt into the living room and set up their first movie, Sleeping Beauty. The two of them settled on the couch, eating popcorn and singing along to Once Upon A Dream, Kurt's high, clear voice easily sailing over the notes that Blaine was finding hard to reach. But Kurt didn't seem to notice that Blaine wasn't singing quite as well, and by the time they put in the next movie, they were effortlessly harmonizing along to every song. Blaine had never felt this relaxed and happy. Lately, everything had seemed to be about his brother no matter where they went. But Kurt was the first person who didn't seem to pay Cooper any attention and preferred Blaine. He could get used to this.

Chapter 5 "So we should probably do a holiday show, right? Maybe a special that involves everyone?" Emma suggested during the November production meeting. "I was thinking we could showcase all the winter holidays, not just Christmas. Show some Kwanzaa traditions, a few Hanukah songs mixed in with the Christmas songs, maybe even some of the holidays that people in Lima don't celebrate. Diwali, Ramadan..." "Shannon, I'm gonna stop you right there, 'cause I can't even understand a word you're saying. I've never even heard of half this crap, and besides, if we want sponsors to tie our show to their Christmas sales, we have to stick to Christmas. Now, I've already got Rachel down for both 'Deck the Halls' and 'Silent Night' and Finn for 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.' But we need something to wow them. Elmer, why don't you write a cute little number about waiting for presents and peace and good will and all that sappy stuff? "
SANTANA Sweet sugar cookies and red candy canes/ And building a fort in the snow SAM Waiting for Santa LAUREN And opening presents MERCEDES And kissing under the mistletoe SANTANA/MERCEDES/SAM/LAUREN All these things make Christmas special/So everybody sing ALL We're going to have a very merry Christmas/Cause being together makes the season bright/And when you have a very merry Christmas/Everything just feels so very right KURT Being with family BLAINE Being with friends KURT/BLAINE

Spending time with those you love RACHEL Hanging up stockings FINN Singing and dancing RACHEL Watching for sleighs in the stars above KURT/BLAINE/FINN/RACHEL All these things make Christmas special/So everybody sing ALL We're going to have a very merry Christmas/Cause being together makes the season bright/And when you have a very merry Christmas/Everything just feels so very right

"Ernie, why on earth would you include that line about mistletoe in your song?" "Yeah, for once I agree with Sue," Beiste said. "I mean, most of them are only eight years old . Aren't they a little young for that?" "Well, I just thought about all the traditions that are part of Christmas. You know, eggnog, presents, gingerbread, mistletoe. It doesn't really mean anything, it's just a little list song. Like My Favorite Things. That's all it is. It's totally innocent." When Brittany came into the garden, she was surprised to see it covered with snow and all sorts of Christmas decorations, including some leafy plant with berries hanging from the snow covered trees that she had never seen before. At least Santana was there waiting, standing under one of the leafy plants. She could explain it all to Brittany. "San, what's going on? How is there snow in the garden? It's not even cold outside." Santana couldn't help laughing. Brittany was still the same, no matter how many times she tried to explain to her that it was a set, Brittany still believed it really was a magical garden. Somehow, Brittany's wild imagination made the stupid scripts and songs and dances much more bearable. "The garden was made special for Christmas. That's why we're dressed up as elves too. We're having a holiday party." Santana decided to try not to spoil the magic for Brittany. Hey, it was Christmas, and Santana had a little of the magic herself. Not that she was going to admit it to anyone.

And what's this?" Brittany asked, pointing up to the plant above their heads. "Mistletoe. We have it at my house on Christmas. And whenever two people stand under it, there's something they always do..." Brittany stepped closer, so that they were both right underneath the mistletoe. "What is it? What do we do?" Santana took Brittany's hand and whispered, "This...." The next thing Brittany knew, their noses were touching, Santana was rubbing it against hers, and they were holding hands. She felt warm inside, a little funny, like the rabbits in her backyard were all hopping inside her tummy. But before she had the chance to even try to figure out what was happening, the other kids were bursting in, complaining about their costumes, and Shannon was telling everyone to take their places. Santana stepped away, moving to take her seat beside the pile of presents under the Christmas tree. Brittany moved off to the side to wait for her cue to come in, wondering why Santana made her feel that way. Sometimes boys made her feel that way, but Santana was the first girl, and it felt better than it ever had before. But Shannon was yelling that they were starting and Brittany had to sing. She'd have to talk to someone about it later. Maybe the bunny could help - he always helped with everyone's problems on the show. Kurt and Blaine stayed in the change room until the very last minute, going over the dance steps for their duet. They were going to be singing "Frosty The Snowman" together and do a dance routine, and they'd been practicing on every play date. Blaine had stumbled over the dance steps several times, but Kurt had never said anything more than "let's try again." He always had a smile for Blaine, even after the twentieth time that Blaine had tripped over his feet doing the turns that Kurt seemed to have no trouble with. "One of these days", Blaine thought "I'm going to get him to help me with that." "I'm glad they're letting us do this", Kurt was saying. "It's nice that we finally get to sing something together." Blaine nodded. Even though they appeared together in almost episode they were in they had never gotten to sing or dance together - they were always paired up with one of the girls. But someone (and Blaine was pretty sure it was Miss Emma) had noticed how close they were getting and had written the script accordingly. "Yeah," Blaine answered. "I just wish we didn't have to wear these elf suits." Kurt grimaced, adjusting his green felt hat so that it wasn't falling into his eyes. Everyone was wearing an elf suit and hat, either in green or red, and they were made of the itchiest material possible. Even Kurt, who was managing to make every dumb costume on the show look really nice, couldn't look good in the costume. Kurt opened his mouth,

probably about to make a similar complaint to what Blaine was thinking, when Brittany burst into the room. "You guys, come on! Santa's here! It's really him!" They followed Brittany out onto the set, where the others were milling around, most of them scowling and trying not to tug at their costumes. Rachel had Miss Shannon in a corner where they were arguing. "I'm sorry Rachel, but it's not my decision" "All I'm saying is that if we want to teach children about the world around them, we should be including other cultures in the show. I am feeling very underrepresented as a Jew." Brittany was excitedly tugging the boys to a corner, where a man in a red suit was sitting on a red throne. Except...that wasn't Santa. Not that Blaine had actually seen Santa, and his brother kept trying to convince him that Santa wasn't real. But he knew that Santa wasn't supposed to be holding a bottle of brown liquid that he kept taking large gulps from every few seconds. And he definitely wasn't supposed to smell like that. Brittany ran up to him. "Santa! I'm so excited to meet you!" The man looked up from his drink. "Who the hell are you? Get away from me, you dirty little brat!" OK. That did not sound like Santa. Miss Shannon had heard what the man had said and ran away from Rachel, looking only slightly relieved to not have to argue with her. "OK, Sandy...I mean, Santa. You've got to focus, we're going to start filming soon." She turned to the others. "And you three should take your places for Winter Wonderland." Blaine and the others walked away, but Blaine shot a quick glance back just in time to see Santa take another swig from the bottle. He got up to leave the set, since he wouldn't be coming on until near the end, and Blaine could tell that he was staggering under his own weight. He watched as Noah approached the seat and when he thought no one was looking, grabbed one of the bottles and took a drink of his own. It was going to be a long day.
SANTA (Off screen) Ho! Ho! Ho! SUGAR Could it be?

NOAH Is that really him? SANTA (Entering) Hello children! I've brought you all special things for Christmas He reaches into his bag, pulling out a gift wrapped box for each child. The children eagerly tear them open, but they find nothing inside. SUGAR It's empty! MERCEDES Mine is too SANTA It's not empty. I brought you the best gift you can get on Christmas TINA And I know what it is! MIKE What is it, Tina? TINA The best gift you can get on Christmas is the gift of love. You don't need fancy toys. All you need is family and friends. SANTA Ho, ho, ho! That's right, Tina. And giving to others is always better than getting! Music starts. Santa takes Finn, Rachel, and Tina into his lap SANTA Toys and presents are very nice things/ But they're not what this time is about/ It's the season for giving/The season for love/ The season to help others out FLUFFLES Family and friends are the best gifts of all/And being together is best FLUFFLES/SANTA So help other people/And show them your love/And you'll never need all the rest MERCEDES

Being with others is the very best part BLAINE The best gifts are gifts that come from your heart ARTIE Being with others is the very best part QUINN The best gifts are gifts that come from your heart SANTANA You don't need racecars or puzzles or dolls BRITTANY Or even a trip to the mall FINN Seeing the smiles on everyone's faces FLUFFLES That's the best gift of all ALL Being with others is the very best part/The best gifts are gifts that come from your heart/Being with others is the very best part/The best gifts are gifts that come from your heart TINA That's so true. The true meaning of Christmas is being with others. SANTA I'm glad you think so. Now I have to go, I have work to do in my workshop! FLUFFLES Well, thank you very much for coming! ALL (Variously) Bye! Thank you! SANTA disappears

Chapter 6 "So I figured for the culture episode we could take advantage of the different cultures our kids come from. Maybe we could even ask them for traditional songs and dances from

their native countries, and they could teach a few basic words in their languages?" "Shannon, Shannon, Shannon, we need to put songs these kids will know in this episode. Be nice and safe for the parents, give them what they expect to see. Now, Failure McSucky knows a few Spanish songs, so he can lead them in La Cucaracha or the Mexican Hat Dance and like...feed the kids tacos or something. And I brought in this Irish boy, he's a total leprechaun. He can talk about the pot of gold and Riverdance for five minutes. Then we can have Asian and other Asian balance rice bowls on their heads..And I don't know what country Aretha comes from, but she can do some African chant or something." "I think that we should have a few lines about how important it is to learn about other cultures." piped up Emma from the corner of the table. "I mean, isn't that the point? That differences are what make the world go round? I don't think the viewers will really get it unless we say it a few times." "What did you have in mind?" asked Shannon. "Well, we want children to know that we're all equal but our differences make us unique and special. We're a melting pot. Well, just think about a delicious soup. It's all the unique textures and flavors that each ingredient brings to the dish that makes it perfect. Makes it whole. That'd be a great line for Tina, don't you think?"
TINA Mr. Fluffles, I liked learning about other places. MIKE Me too! SANTANA Yeah, me too! FLUFFLES Oh, I'm so glad everyone! TINA You know, we're a melting pot. SANTANA What do you mean? TINA Well, just think about a delicious soup. It's all the unique textures and flavors that each ingredient brings to the dish that makes it perfect. Makes it whole. FLUFFLES That's so right, Tina!

Piano cue for a song FLUFFLES We all come from different places/ Have very different faces/ And the things we eat and wear are different too NOAH But no matter where you are/Whether you came from near or far/There's a lot that is the same about us too The music picks up. A wild gospel song SANTANA We're different but the same/And that's what makes life fun MERCEDES We're different but the same/So let's be friends with everyone MIKE We've been around the world and there's one thing that we've found ALL It's the things that make us different that make the world go round! MIKE We speak in different languages SANTANA And we play different games FLUFFLES And people from different places may have very different names SANTANA/MIKE But we both love to dance TINA/MERCEDES/NOAH And we all love to sing ALL And the world is so much better with the different things we bring/Oh, we're different but the same/And that's what makes life fun MERCEDES YEAHHHHHHH!

ALL We're different but the same/So let's be friends with everyone MERCEDES Come on now! ALL We've been around the world/And there's one thing that we've found/It's the things that make us different that make the world go round Dance break ALL (Clapping) We're different but the same/And that's what makes life fun/We're different but the same/ So let's be friends with everyone/We've been around the world/And there's one thing that we've found/It's the things that make us different that make the world go round/It's the things that make us different that make the world go round MERCEDES wails out an ending

"All right, kids!" Sue yelled at the five children assembled on set. "This is your new play friend Rory from Ireland." "Ireland? Is he the leprechaun?" Brittany asked, poring over her lines. There was a lot about leprechauns in her script this week. "Actually Brittany, we don't have leprechauns in Ireland. That's just a folk story." Rory answered. "All right, now Rory is going to join in on that Riverdance number and then he's going to sing 'Did You Ever See A Lassie, A good old traditional Irish tune to teach the screaming monkeys at home all about life beyond their pathetic little town." "Actually, Miss Sylvester m'aam, I think that's a Scottish song..." "You'll sing the song or your family is on the first plane back to the potato farm. I have connections. Now places for La Cucaracha!" The episode was about a trip around the world, and the first place they were pretending to visit was Mexico, which Santana was supposed to represent, so she'd be singing with

Will. Santana was not enthused about singing La Cucaracha...weren't there any other Spanish songs? "And Schuester!" Sue yelled as she took her place behind the camera. "I can smell the stench of failure from here. If I find any hair gel residue in your costume when we're done here today, you're paying the dry cleaning bill. All right, let's do this!" The music began as Will and Santana mimed playing guitar and swayed to the beat. But it didn't feel right to her. For all that Miss Emma was going on about diversity, the episode didn't feel like it was really representing anyone. Santana wished she could have sung one of the lullabies her abuela always sang to her, or one of the fun dance songs they did at her birthday parties. La Cucaracha was such a joke. No one would be caught dead singing that song in public.
MERCEDES Where will we go first? SANTANA How about Mexico, where I come from? FLUFFLES Good idea Santana. Just close your eyes and say the magic words, everyone! CLOSE ON everyone's faces as they hold hands and shut their eyes tight, saying the rhyme ALL Magic garden, now's the time/Help us while we say this rhyme/Magic garden, let us play/Show us something new today! A FLASH OF LIGHT! The garden has become Mexico! A Mexican flag hangs from the tree with a piata and Mexican food is set out on the table. The kids are wearing sombreros. ALL (Variously) WOW! NOAH Look at these big hats we're wearing FLUFFLES Those hats are called sombreros, Noah. People in Mexico wear them. TINA What is all this food?

SANTANA This is what people eat in Mexico. There are tacos, and salsa, and guacamole! ALL MMMMMMM! SANTANA And at parties we break a big piata, like this one! NOAH Can we try? SANTANA Of course! Peppy music plays under the kids trying to break the piata. First Noah tries to swing at it, but misses. Then Mercedes and Tina take their turns before Mike finally breaks it. The kids laugh and cheer as they gather up the candies. SANTANA I know a Mexican song we can sing. Mr. Fluffles, can you help me play it? FLUFFLES (Taking a guitar) Of course I can! SANTANA And you can play these Mexican instruments. We have maracas, a guiro and these sticks, called claves! FLUFFLES begins to play La Cucaracha as the others pick up instruments. They play along and sway as Santana and Fluffles sing SANTANA/FLUFFLES La cucaracha, la cucaracha,/ya no puede caminar/ porque no tiene, porque le falta/ las dos patitas de atrs. Dicen que la cucaracha Es un animal pequeo Y cuando entra en una casa Se tiene que quedar dueo. ALL La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar porque no tiene,

porque le falta las dos patitas de atrs. SANTANA Cuando uno quiere a una Y esta una no lo quiere, Es lo mismo que si un calvo En la calle encuentra un peine ALL La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar porque no tiene, porque le falta las dos patitas de atrs. TINA That was fun!

"Cut! Do it again and smile this time, Santana! Do it right!" It took three more takes before Santana could fake a good enough smile to satisfy Sue. At least now that they were done with that they were calling in Brittany, who was only going to be in the one scene with Rory. Brittany wouldn't have even been there if Santana hadn't begged Miss Shannon (who was the nicest of the three) to let Brittany have a small part. She didn't know how she'd get through the episode without Brittany there, at least for a short time. Mike was happy to have a dance solo even though he'd never heard of a Chinese bowl dance before. It wasn't the type of thing he knew how to do, but Tina had been happy to teach it to him. They had spent hours working on it at her house, and her mother had made dumplings for dinner. He wished that his house could be like that, full of good food and a family that loved music and dancing. The Irish dance scene took forever to film because Rory kept tripping over his feet. Since Santana and Noah weren't needed, they decided to slip off to one of the prop rooms to complain. "I don't know why my mom told them I was Jewish," Noah complained, slumping against one of the extra cardboard trees. "Now I have to sing Hava Nagila with a wine bottle on my head. What a joke. It's not even a full bottle!" Santana felt bad for Noah. He was the oldest out of everyone except maybe Lauren. Even Finn was a year younger than him. He was avoiding most people because of that, though he kept trying to flirt with Lauren, who wasn't interested. And now he was eyeing Santana as the next victim. She had noticed the way he looked at her during rehearsal -

Santana knew she was a great dancer and that she was beautiful, but did he have to be so obvious? "Hey, Santana, you wanna ditch? They're not gonna need us for a while. We can walk to the mall, it's not that far. I'll treat you to a decent lunch." Santana had to think about it. Other than her, Noah seemed to hate working the most, and it would have been nice to get away from everyone's constant perkiness. She could handle it with Brittany, but no one else. And Noah did love how she looked, so there was that. But Brittany. She couldn't help thinking of Brittany, who still searched every day for the bunny. Brittany, who had invited Santana to play with her cat. Brittany who seemed to love more about Santana than just her face or body. "Um, we should probably head back. They're expecting us." Santana ran for the door without waiting for an answer and sat down to cheer Brittany on as she danced.

FLUFFLES I have an idea for where we can go. I have a friend I want you to meet, and he lives in a country where everything's green! TINA I wonder where that is MIKE Let's find out FLUFFLES OK. Close your eyes... The children close their eyes. A flash of light and the garden turns into IRELAND. Brittany and RORY (in a green outfit) are waiting! BRITTANY Hi everybody! ALL BRITTANY! BRITTANY We're in Ireland! And this is my friend Rory, who lives there. MIKE Where's Ireland?

BRITTANY Ireland i s a place far away in Europe, where everyth ing ' s green al l the time and they love rainbows and potatoes . RORY That's right everyone. It's very nice to meet you all. TINA Mr. Fluffles, his voice is so different! FLUFFLES That's right, Noah. People who live in different places speak in different ways, and you hear a difference in their voice. That's called an accent. People who live in other places dress differently and eat different foods, but that doesn't mean they're completely different from you and me. BRITTANY Uh huh. Rory likes to dance, just like me! RORY That's right! In Ireland, we dance without moving our arms like this. An IRISH REEL starts as Rory demonstrates a traditional Riverdance. Mike, Tina, and Brittany join in halfway through. Applause when the music ends. SANTANA Rory, can you sing us a song from Ireland? RORY I'd be happy to! Rory and Brittany begin to dance to the song RORY Did you ever see a laddie/A laddie A laddie/Did you ever see a laddie/Go this way and that? ALL Go this way and that way/ Go this way and that way/ Did you ever see a laddie/ Go this way and that? BRITTANY Did you ever see a lassie/ A lassie/A lassie/Did you ever see a lassie/Go

this way and that? ALL Go this way and that way/ Go this way and that way/ Did you ever see a lassie/ Go this way and that? FLUFFLES Well, we have to go to our next stop now. It was nice to meet you, Rory! RORY It was nice to meet you too. And remember, when you see a rainbow, remember to look for the pot of gold at the end. ALL (Variously) Bye!

Once they had finished "Did You Ever See A Lassie", Rory ran for the exit. He was relieved to be done with it, even though he was still convinced that they had confused him for a Scottish person. But at least he'd get to be on TV. Chapter 7 Blaine couldn't get over the size of Kurt's room, or the amount of clothes he had for dress-up. "Most of it's my mom's old stuff... After she...Dad couldn't..." The rest of the sentence hung there, but Blaine understood. "Besides," Kurt continued "at least I get to keep her, kinda. She taught me most of the songs I know, and I used to put on her clothes and do shows for her and dad. Hey, how about we do one?" Blaine was used to this. Cooper did this sort of thing all the time, dragging Blaine into the elaborate shows that he wrote, directed, and naturally starred in. Usually they were a vehicle to show off his vast knowledge of classic rock, especially Duran Duran. There had been many a screaming match between the two of them over Blaine's dancing too, and even his parents, when they were done, would criticize them both. But maybe with Kurt it would be a little different, Blaine hoped as he quickly agreed to participate. "Okay, but I haven't done this in awhile. What songs do you have in mind?" That was new.

"Well, you like all those old movies, right? Maybe we can do those. The Wizard of Oz and Sound of Music and Mary Poppins." Kurt smiled. "Perfect, I love Julie Andrews." And it was settled. They practiced the rest of the afternoon, working out costumes and making up dances. Blaine asked Kurt to teach him how to do that twirl he was always doing on the show, and when Blaine tripped over his feet, Kurt came to help him up. "You were close. But it helps to spot. Pick one thing to look at and keep your eyes on it. Then you don't get so dizzy." Blaine tried it again, focusing his attention on the wall, but came out of the turn stumbling, reaching for something to steady himself. "Maybe if you looked at something big. Try looking at me. Turn and don't take your eyes off me." Blaine fixed his eyes right onto the encouraging smile that Kurt was giving him, and managed the turn without wobbling. Kurt rushed to hug him, and Blaine couldn't help thinking, "Why can't all rehearsals be like this?" Before Blaine was picked up, they put on their show for Burt. Kurt sang 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' with that brilliant voice that still left Blaine in awe, Blaine sang 'Feed The Birds', accompanying himself on piano, and the two of them did a medley from their mutual favorite, The Sound Of Music. Burt was smiling the whole time - a smile that Kurt hadn't seen from his father since before his mother died. Maybe things would finally start to be happy again.
GARDEN. RACHEL, MERCEDES, BLAINE, and KURT drawing pictures at the picnic table. Sam ENTERS, looking nervous. MERCEDES (notices Sam) Hi Sam! What's going on? KURT Yeah, why do you look so sad? SAM Tomorrow's my fist day of school and I'm scared. BLAINE You don't have to be scared, Sam RACHEL Yeah, Sam, school is fun!

SAM I don't know. (A piano flourish. Rachel stands up on the picnic table and begins to sing) RACHEL Every day I wake up with a smile on my face/Cause I know soon I 'm going to my very favorite place A fun beat kicks in. Rachel grabs Kurt's hand and motions for him to dance with her RACHEL/KURT I can't wait to go to school/It's a place that's very cool/I will follow every rule/Cause I love to go to school RACHEL At school we do all kinds of things/Run and play and dance and sing KURT Making friends and learning too/At school there ' s always lots to do Mercedes and Blaine JOIN in the dance. Sam continues to look on, still not convinced ALL (EXCEPT SAM) I can't wait to go to school/It's a place that's very cool/I will follow every rule/Cause I love to go to school BLAINE I love to learn my alphabet/ I t ' s a thing you can't forget MERCEDES I love to count and learn to read/ School's the only thing I need Sam is convinced now. He RUNS up and takes a place in the middle, leading the dance as the song moves to a big finish. ALL I can't wait to go to school/It's a place that's very cool/I will follow every rule/Cause I love to go to school I love to go to school

OH YEAH! The kids hit a dramatic pose on the last beat of music. Smiles and laughter.

Kurt looked up from his script with disgust. "I can't believe we have to lie on television." "What do you mean?" Mercedes asked. She was in that episode as well, with Rachel, Sam, and of course, Blaine. The five of them had been about to read their lines together for the first time. "We keep saying that school is fun. But it's not, it's horrible." "It can't be that bad," Sam said. "I mean, sure...some of the classes are hard, but at least you get to see your friends." "It's not like that. Not for me." Kurt grew quiet, and picked up his script again, signaling that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. Blaine was worried. He'd never seen Kurt like this before, so withdrawn and quiet. It reminded him too much of how he felt when Cooper made fun of him or his parents give him a lecture. Blaine would retreat to his room and wouldn't talk to anyone for hours. He always felt so alone. And it was scary to see Kurt feeling that way.
FLUFFLES You'll be fine, Sam SAM I guess so. But what I'm really worried about is... He TRAILS OFF, uncertain FLUFFLES What is it, Sam? MERCEDES Yeah, you can tell us! SAM I'm worried about the other kids. I'm worried I won't make new friends FLUFFLES Oh Sam, it's OK. It's normal to feel nervous about meeting new people KURT I was scared at first, but I made lots of friends

MERCEDES And everyone's just as scared as you MUSIC starts, a slow piano ballad FLUFFLES Sometimes things are scary when they're very strange and new/You don't know what will happen and you don't know what to do/But you know that soon enough that things will be OK/If you just remember the song I sing today ALL (Except SAM) You don't have to be scared/ You don't have to run away/You don't have to be afraid/Cause everybody feels this way KURT Making friends is easy if you know just what to do/If you're friendly you will find/ They will want to be friends with you BLAINE Just smile and say hello RACHEL And soon you're gonna see BLAINE/RACHEL That school can be a happy place to be ALL You don't have to be scared/ You don't have to run away/You don't have to be afraid/Cause everybody feels this way They all wrap Sam in a hug as the music ends

Kurt's bad mood continued throughout dance practice. Most of his time was spent scowling at Sue and Emma. So during a break, Blaine sat next to Kurt, offering a bottle of water, and rubbing his back."You know you can talk to me," he started, not wanting to push. "And if it makes you feel any better, I don't like these songs either." "You mean the song about how all your best friends are at school and you have the best time?" Kurt asked, still not looking up. "It's a lie. A total lie. School isn't like that...at least not for me. It's where I'm made fun of because I have a high voice and I still like

Disney movies. School is where none of the teachers do anything to stop it. School is where I have no one to talk to at lunch except the janitor." Blaine didn't know what to say. He had always been in such awe of Kurt's confidence up until this point. He'd assumed that Kurt was always this happy and confident. He'd never managed the awful things that Kurt had to put up with at school. He wanted to do something for Kurt, anything to make it better for him. With a deep sigh, Kurt continued, twisting at the edges of his script as he spoke. "I got the lead in the school play last year. I was so excited. But everyone kept calling me a girl. They said that only girls do plays. And gym class was horrible - no one would pick me for their teams and I was always the first target in dodge ball. And all my teacher did was tell me to suck it up, even when a kid threw the ball at my head and gave me a black eye." Blaine was horrified. "Kurt, I had no idea. That's horrible! Teachers should be better than that. You should come to my school. We have to wear uniforms, but there's no bullying allowed and the teachers always make sure that everyone is being nice. And you'd be with me. I will make sure everyone is nice to you." Kurt couldn't help smiling. It would be nice to have a friend at school for once. He was pretty sure he could even get used to itchy uniforms if it meant having someone to pass notes to in class and play with at recess. But he knew it would never happen. "My dad would never be able to afford it." Blaine's face fell. "It was just an idea anyway, he said, a little embarrassed. "I know, Kurt said quietly. They sat in silence for a few moments as Kurt thought things over. "We still have to sing the song, don't we?" "Yeah" Blaine said with a sigh. "We do." "I'm really starting to not like this show. Except for being with you. The outfits are terrible, the dances are hard, and I don't think Miss Sue likes me very much. And things are only getting worse in school too. Everyone calls me a baby because I'm on a show that their baby sisters watch." Blaine laughed. "What if you pretended you were singing about going to my school? Even though you can't. At least that school would be as much fun as the song says." "Okay," Kurt nodded. "I'll try it." "And also," Blaine added. "I like the things you like. I like you."

Shannon felt powerless. No matter how much she tried to help the kids, it was always overshadowed by Sue's "my way or the highway" approach. When she had come up with the idea with Emma, she had only wanted to make a show that helped kids feel good about themselves. And from what she could tell, not even the actors were feeling good. Especially Brittany, who only had Santana to help her through filming, and Kurt, who came to set sad most days. When she had asked him what was wrong, he had shrugged and said "School was bad, but it's nothing." There was only one episode left to write for the season, and she knew it was her last chance to make a difference. She decided to specifically write it for Kurt, Brittany, and their closest friends. She wasn't sure about what songs to include, but she already had a title, "Wonderful You".

Chapter 8 "It's kind of...empty, isn't it?" Kurt asked Blaine as they peeked out through the curtains of the hastily assembled stage at the Lima Mall. He was relieved that at least no one from school would be there to see him humiliate himself. As if being seen with that giant rabbit wasn't bad enough,, they were in the most hideous outfits.. Whoever thought yellow shorts and red shirts looked good together deserved to be fired, of that Kurt was sure. But thankfully, all Kurt could see were five, maybe six small families crowding around the platform, besides the cast's parents. All of the assembled children were at the front, screaming loudly for MR. FLUFFLES, while their parents hung back with cups of coffee, totally uninterested in the display. Blaine turned back to Kurt. "Maybe it's better this way. At least if I mess up my lines, there won't be as many people to see me." Kurt gave Blaine's hand a quick squeeze. "You're going to be fine. Sue picked the right people. They'll love you." Even though all of the kids were going to be singing and dancing in the show, only a few of them were given lines, mostly telling the audience what to do. Sue had decided that Blaine and Rachel were the best at that, and they'd be getting the most to do. Kurt had a few lines too, and he had insisted on his father helping him practice every night. Kurt knew that Cooper had been helping Blaine out too, but after one day at Blaine's house, Kurt knew that Cooper's help wasn't really that good for Blaine. Meanwhile, Rachel was going through her warm-up routine at full blast, while Santana tried to explain to Brittany exactly how their garden had moved to the Lima Mall. Emma was already starting to get the others in line, so Kurt and Blaine move to join them. "Don't worry Blaine", Kurt said, giving his shoulder one last squeeze. "You're amazing."

Rachel bounced from foot to foot, waiting for the mall people to make the announcement about the concert. She'd be the first one to go onstage and introduce everyone. Her first solo on a stage. It wasn't quite the way she'd planned it (she'd always imagined a bigger audience, for one thing) but it would have to do. When her cue came, she straightened her shoulders and skipped onto the stage, beaming from ear to ear. They love you already, Rachel. "Hi everyone! I'm Rachel! It's sooooooooooooooo great to be here! Are you ready to sing along?" She never would have thought that seven small children were capable of making that much noise. "Well, I'm going to sing a really special song that's all about friendship! And if we sing it together really loud, then all my friends will come out and play!" The music started. Rachel took a deep breath and began to sing as if Barbara herself were watching. The more we get together, together, together, the more we get together, the happier we'll be. There's Noah and Tina and Sugar and Finn, the more we get together, the happier we'll be." As Rachel sang each of their names, they ran onto the stage, smiling and waving, just like they'd been told, then linked arms and swayed until Rachel finished out the song, adding in a quick high note that hadn't been there during rehearsals. Artie rolled forwards to speak to the audience next "Wow, it's so great to be here with all our friends!" "But there's one friend missing!" said Santana, eyes firmly on Brittany to keep from laughing. "Do you know who it is?" Silence. Kurt stole a glance at Blaine. He knew that Blaine had the next line, after the audience answered Santana's question. But they weren't going to, even after Santana asked "Well, do you?"barely hiding her glare. He couldn't help panicking as he looked at Blaine, who looked lost. Come on Blaine, he thought to himself. You know this. "That's right!" said Blaine, as if nothing had happened. "Our best friend in the whole wide world, Mr. Fluffles! Maybe if we sing our special song, he'll come and play! Ready?"

And everyone launched into the theme song together. Just as they had rehearsed. Everything was going to be just fine. Brittany still wasn't sure how the garden had moved, no matter how many times Santana tried to explain it to her. At least Santana tried, everyone else just looked at her funny. And she wasn't exactly sure why there were other people who screamed in the garden with them, and why they weren't doing what Rachel told them to. She thought everyone was supposed to do what they were told, especially when Rachel Bossy pants was shouting at them. But Brittany couldn't think about that right now. It was her turn to do a solo. She hadn't stopped begging to sing her song about her cat since her audition. After the first week, Miss Emma agreed to listen to her, and she had said that though it was very good, they didn't have a place for her to sing it on the actual show. But today she could sing it, even though Miss Sue said it was probably a waste of time. At least she thought it was good. Maybe the audience would like her better than Rachel. "Do you know what I love best of all?" she asked the audience, to complete silence. The kids only liked to scream for the bunny. "My kitty Lord Tubbington! And I have a song that I wrote about him. Do you wanna hear it?" Of course, still no answer. But the music was starting, so Brittany readied herself to sing. Just for Santana, since San still hadn't heard her sing. My kitty is my greatest friend/We always stick together/We love to play and dance around/In any kind of weather/MEOW MEOW MEOW!/MEOW MEOW MEOW! The kids were laughing for the first time that day. By the end of the song, without even being told to, they were meowing right along with her and they clapped really loudly when she was done. Brittany was ecstatic. Maybe I am special like Santana says. Like a unicorn. Blaine was feeling good. All of Cooper's yelling seemed to be paying off, though he was starting to think that maybe it wasn't Cooper who was really helping him. He had remembered all his lines so far, even though the audience wasn't doing the dances and singing along the way Miss Shannon had when they were rehearsing. But he still had his biggest number to come - the writers had picked it to get the audience up on its feet. And if the rest of the show was anything to go by, he doubted he'd be able to do that. They were just finishing up Itsy Bitsy Spider. It was time for the finale - a medley of classic American songs because it was the Fourth of July. ("Shouldn't we have worn red, white, and blue instead of red and yellow?" Kurt had asked. "At least then it would have been somewhat appropriate.") Before it started, Blaine would have to teach the audience their part, and then he had to sing the solo for "You're a Grand Old Flag".

He would have felt more excited about having a solo if his family was there, but they weren't. A few of them were - he could see the two dads Rachel was talking about, beaming and holding a camera. Kurt's father was there too, and he had liked his voice as much as Kurt, even if he didn't know the songs he was singing. Maybe if he sang for him. And for Kurt. Blaine took a deep breath and began. "Does everyone know what day it is?" He waited a second for an answer, but none were coming. He kept going. "That's right, it's the fourth of July! Today is all about America and we're going to sing some songs about our home. But we need your help! So everyone stand up!" The audience got to its feet, a few kids being pulled up by their parents. They seemed to be paying more attention to the kids after Brittany sang her song. Blaine kept going, feeling good that at least the audience was listening. "We're going to pretend we're in a big parade, so everybody march!" The children copied his movements, though a few of them only seemed capable of jumping up and down. Blaine grinned, just as he had been told to do. "Good job, everybody! Now, we're going to sing some songs that you all know and we want you all to sing along! And when we get to the song about the flag, we want everyone to wave their flags as high as they can. Do you think you can do that?" The audience cheered loudly, but Blaine knew he still had another line. "I didn't hear you! Do you think you can do that?" The audience cheered again as from the end of the line, Kurt shot Blaine a thumbs up. And the next time that Blaine smiled, it was genuine. Chapter 9 Rachel wasn't sure why all of the cast had been called together. They only had one episode left to shoot, and she wasn't in it. She sat next to Finn and waited for Sue to make whatever announcement she had. "Well, rugrats, I honestly wish I were sorry to say that this will be our last time together. It seems that even Berry's dulcet tones couldn't save the show from losing what little funding it had to begin with, so there won't be a second season. So we're going to finish this episode and it's back to whatever pathetic lives you had before." Rachel was shocked, though slightly flattered that Sue had said anything good about her performance. (At least, she was sure that "dulcet tones" was a compliment. She'd have to get her dads to help her look it up to be sure, But for now, she was going to take it that way.) "We just wanted to thank you for all your hard work," Emma continued. "You all really are talented and we wish you all the best." "Now if you're not in this episode, get off my set," Sue finished, leaving most of the cast to stand in the hallway and say their unexpected goodbyes.

Rachel was frozen to the spot, mouth hanging open. It couldn't be over. Not after all the work she'd put in. All the help she had given her cast, especially Finn. And Finn? They were never going to see each other again! She knew that much for sure. And it broke her heart.
QUINN How about I show you what makes me special? FLUFFLES Sure! QUINN There is one thing I need first. She whispers to Fluffles FLUFFLES Of course, Quinn! A FLASH OF LIGHT. Quinn now has a soccer ball, which she kicks around the picnic tables and trees, and into a goal post! SANTANA You play soccer? I thought that was something that boys do! QUINN Well, boys and girls can do anything! Quinn starts singing QUINN Everyone likes different things/That's what makes life fun/And boys and girls can like the things/That are liked by everyone BLAINE Boys can dance and draw and paint QUINN Girls can run and climb FLUFFLES It doesn't matter what you like BLAINE/QUINN/FLUFFLES When you're having a good time ALL

Oh, you can like what you want to/As long as it's what you enjoy/Doesn't matter what people say/Or if you're a girl or boy/Yes you can like what you want to/As long as it's what you enjoy/Doesn't matter what people say/Or if you're a girl or boy SANTANA I'm sorry Quinn. I think it's cool that you're good at soccer! QUINN Thanks Santana. FLUFFLES Oh, I'm so happy that you're learning to understand people's differences.

Kurt and Blaine continued to linger in the hall long after they'd filmed their last scene. Blaine knew now was the time to break the news to Kurt, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it. Kurt was talking excitedly about how his father was planning a barbecue the next week and of course Blaine was invited and maybe the week after that they could see a movie and Blaine just stood, trying to figure out how best to begin. "Kurt," he finally managed, interrupting Kurt's list of movies he wanted to see. "Cooper got another TV show. We have to move to LA. We're leaving tomorrow, now that I'm done." Kurt was dumbstruck. Just when he'd finally made a friend, he had to leave. "Isn't there...isn't there a way you can stay? Maybe you could stay with a relative? Or I could ask my dad if you could stay with me?" Blaine shook his head. "Both my parents follow Cooper around when he gets work. There's a lot they have to do for him. And there's no one here I can stay with so I have to go too. I don't want to go, but I can't let my family leave without me." Kurt bit his lip. "So...is this goodbye? Like forever?" Blaine was close to tears, because he honestly wasn't sure. He had no idea how long Cooper was going to be in LA. Probably for a long time. And maybe Blaine could get another acting job there too; he really wanted to act and sing again. And yet...he didn't want to leave his first real friend behind. But he was sure that they'd find a way back to each other.

"Kurt, come here." He wrapped Kurt into an embrace. "I don't want to say goodbye to you. I'm never saying goodbye to you. I don't know when I'll be back, but as soon as I come back I'm going to see you again. I promise." They stayed in the embrace until their parents arrived, neither of them willing to let go. Finn was relived the whole thing was over. No more stupid songs, no more weird clothes, no more Rachel to annoy him. He was looking forward to going back to playing football after school. Just as he was putting on his jacket and heading down to the workshop to find his mom, Rachel stopped him in the hall. "I just wanted to say thanks a lot for everything and that it was wonderful working with you, but I don't think we need to stay in touch now. I wanted to at first, but you know what, I don't need any help to be a star and anyway there's this cute boy named Jesse in my dance class that I wanted to get to know. So, bye Finn!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran off to where her dads were waiting. Finn turned crimson as he continued to head down the hall. "Did I just get dumped when we weren't even dating to begin with?" he wondered. Brittany ran down the halls of the studio. She needed to talk to Mr. Fluffles before she had to leave. She still wasn't quite sure why she never got to talk to him - when he was around, they had to be quiet and listen to Sue, and as soon as they were done, he was gone again. And he always gave such good advice with the problems that they had in the script. He had to be just as good at giving advice when there was no script. And normally she could go to Santana when she needed someone to talk to, but Santana wasn't the person to go for this problem. "Mr. Fluffles? Where are you? I need to see you!" Emma saw her running down the halls, and knelt beside her. "Brittany, sweetie, what are you doing here? Your mom is probably waiting for you!" Brittany began to sob. "I wanted to talk to Mr. Fluffles. All I ever wanted to do was talk to Mr. Fluffles. But I can't, unless it's in the script. And I have a problem and he's the only person who'll understand." Emma patted her shoulder. "Sweetie, you know that Mr. Fluffles isn't..." she said before stopping herself. She knew better than to try and explain it to Brittany, the girl who didn't understand that when Sue said "cut", it didn't mean that she was supposed to get scissors and start cutting her hair.

She tried again. "Mr. Fluffles is very busy, Brittany. But you know, you can talk to me." Brittany choked back another sob "It's about Santana. She's..." They were interrupted by Will walking down the hall. "Hey Emma, ready to go?" "Just give me a second, Will. I need to help Brittany." "Santana...she...I think...she's very special", Brittany managed, not quite sure exactly how to explain everything that had happened during the six months they had worked on the show. "I think I...love her. But, I don't think I'm supposed to love her. 'Cause she's a girl, and girls are supposed to love boys" Will smiled at her, and copied Emma's stance, so that he was at eye level with Brittany. "You know something Brittany? You can love whoever you want. No one can change the way you feel about a person." Emma picked up Will's thoughts. "Talk to Santana. At least let her know how you feel." "And Brittany?" Will finished. "Sometimes girls can love other girls. And to me and Emma at least, that's okay." "Brittany, I could help you find Mr. Fluffles if you still want," said Emma, still wanting to help. "You know what? I'm fine. I'm going to go talk to San," Brittany decided, running off to find her before her grandmother took her home.
FLUFFLES I'm so glad you all know how to be good friends. No matter who you like best, being a good friend makes you really special. And do you know what else makes you special? KURT What's that? FLUFFLES Just being you! Music cue FLUFFLES You're the only person who decides who they should be/Don't let anybody tell you that's not true/And you don't even need to change

a single thing at all/All you have to do is just be you! ALL Whoa - oh, what else can you say?/You can like who you want to/Play what you want to play/Whoa-oh, there's nothing to do/But to be your own wonderful you! KURT Today I thought that there was nothing special I could show/And everyone was so much better than me/ But now I know that everyone's got something great to share/And myself's the only one I want to be ALL Whoa - oh, what else can you say?/You can like who you want to/Play what you want to play/Whoa-oh, there's nothing to do/But to be your own wonderful you! FLUFFLES You can all be yourselves. Even if people tell you that the things and people you like are silly, no one can decide what they like and who they are but you. QUINN I get it! It's great that I like soccer! BLAINE And even when people tell you that soccer is for boys KURT Or that liking dolls is for girls SANTANA It doesn't matter, because only we can decide what's OK to like. FLUFFLES As long as you're being safe, of course. ALL Of course! BLAINE How do you feel now, Kurt? KURT I feel good about myself! ALL

YAY! FLUFFLES I'm glad you feel good about yourself. Everyone should love themselves for exactly who they are.