Elle opinion2013_fiction awards 15/01/13 6:35 PM Page 136

ELLE opinion
champions of a certain dress code; theyre looking out for levels of confidence, for a whiff of insecurity. It could be the subtle awkwardness in the way a woman carries herself when she wears an item of clothing, Indian or Western, to which her body isnt entirely accustomed. It could be the hint of nervousness that you radiate when on a date or walking with someone on whom you have a crush. Those who get their highs from sexual harassment and gender violence are looking for that little chink in your armour. You may not even know your armour possesses that chink, but if they notice it. Its all they need for the testosterone surge that will

STAND STRONG
For years, the Indian woman has tread a line of what society believes is RIGHT behaviour or WRONG attire or APPROPRIATE conduct. Should we resign ourselves to this ROPEWALK? Its time to walk tall and assert our freedom

By DEEPANJANA PAL

hen you read Amy Elliot Dunnes journal in Gone Girl, she seems to be the ideal woman. Shes pretty, adores her husband, is earnest and rich. Even her shortcomings shes a little spoilt, naively romantic and willing to stifle herself for the sake of preventing discord with Nick, her husband only serve to endear her to the reader. Until the reader discovers the journal was fake. Its a small part of an elaborate, meticulously-plottedplan. You see, Little Mrs Perfect Amy Elliot Dunne wants to frame her husband. For murder. Her murder. Youll have to read Gone Girl to figure out if she succeeds.

Ive been recommending Gone Girl to anyone who has asked me to suggest a book. The other day, I presented the above plot summary to a young woman who told me that if it were in her power, shed probably have ensured Gone Girl wasnt sold in India. It falls into the hands of the wrong man and lets face it, in India, every man has a wrong man inside him and theyll make Amy an example of how women are manipulative bitches and thatll become yet another justification for men treating their wives like crap. Its worth pointing out that Gone Girl is an American paperback, not the Ramayana, and her argument doesnt really make sense, but what struck me wasnt the logic (or the lack thereof) in this womans thinking. It was the

nervous anger and an intense, darting anxiety that one could be ambushed. Shes looking for danger, and danger is presenting itself everywhere. Even in a thrilling book of American fiction. Being oppressed is not a new experience for most Indian women. Previous generations have tried to enable and empower the next, in the hope that this would ensure women are treated with deference rather than as an object ripe for exploitation. This has powered a dramatic change in Indian society in the recent past. Women went from being cloistered at home and not having access to education to fighting long and hard to dismantle the bias and

stigma attached to the working woman in both homes and work spaces. Today, particularly in urban middle class India, its difficult to imagine a child not being sent to school only because shes a girl. But what girls and women in the present are being faced with is the sense that these efforts at empowerment havent actually strengthened them against men. In Seeing Like A Feminist (Penguin/Zubaan), a brilliant primer for anyone interested in gender politics in India, Nivedita Menon quotes a woman who claims that when she wears Western clothing, less men harass her. Dressed in Indian attire, she seems more seedhi saadhi and therefore, more vulnerable. Yet numerous women, particularly those working in cities like Mumbai, feel the exact opposite; they believe Indian clothing will save them from unsavoury attention. Dress smartly, in Western clothes, reeking of your education and success, and its like youre asking to be put in your place by your friendly neighbourhood eve teaser, a friend told me. Wear a sari or a salwar kameez, and you blend in. Or at least you get points from men for trying to downplay yourself. Both these women speak from personal experience. Neither is wrong. The fact of the matter is that it doesnt matter what you wear. Those who are looking to harass a woman arent

Those looking to HARASS a woman arent champions of a certain dress code; theyre looking out for levels of confidence, for a whiff of INSECURITY
goad them to slam into you their conviction that they are more powerful, that you are weak. That they can snap you in two and embed their poisonous distaste for everything that you stand for deep within your mind. Over centuries, weve nurtured a culture that has cemented the idea that women are around for mens enjoyment and can be toyed with as a man is wont to. Were taught, both subtly and overtly, that women must keep men happy or at least not provoke them and that this fragile, unnatural peace is stability. Incense men, and womens stature in society is threatened. Ours is a sense of social order pivoted upon womens fear.

Is it possible to not be afraid of the looming threat of violence and intimidation that almost all of us face on a daily basis? Probably not. But it is possible to not let that fear paralyse us. Our outrage at incidents of violence against women should strengthen us, rather than make us weaker and more paranoid about our surroundings. Strip rape of its terrible psychological pincers and reduce it to a series of physical, bodily injuries it will hurt, perhaps horribly, but the body can heal. Treat the violence and harassment as something that makes you more determined to claim your space, instead of shrouding you in shame and insecurity. We are not victims. Were women, and weve held on to our pride despite centuries of misogyny and violence. If we managed to withstand the psychological attacks, then surely the physical cant be the last straw? Let the men who lurk and lecherously ogle be like the monsters underneath the childhood bed. They inspire fear, but only fleetingly. Remember, when a child is determined to get some sleep and wake up to a brand new day, the monsters retreat and eventually, they disappear. So sleep, wake, go about your business and dont be afraid of the monsters that you might encounter. You are much more than your fear, and they are much less.
DEEPANJANA PAL IS A COLUMNIST, AUTHOR, AND BOOKS EDITOR, DNA

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