The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 1 of 7

He arrived. It was a large waiting room. The cathedral like interior

looked like an enlarged Grand Central Station. There was row after row
of benches with people sitting quietly. It was very quiet. He looked
around,” there must be an information booth” but he didn’t see one.
He sat down without consciously selecting a seat but there was a place
where he knew he should sit. He did not speak to his neighbors; they
did not speak to him; just sit quietly with hands clasped on his lap. He
was still in his body in a way because his senses seemed to be
working. He could move his hands, walk, hear, smell and see his
surroundings but there was something different. He felt weightless;
there was no energy or effort required to move. Instead of controlling
his muscles he could just make things happen and yet he seemed to
under the jurisdiction of set of laws similar to the physical laws that
had always limited him. He did not feel free or that he had new powers.

“Herman Kaufman” he heard as saw Mr. Helm walking towards him.

Without thinking about it, he knew the small bureaucratic bespectacled
clerk was Mr. Helm who turned on his heels, without offering the
acknowledgement of a handshake. He merely said calmly “Follow me”
and led him into a corridor that was not visible from the waiting room.
The lighting was diffuse, neither clear nor opaque, just sufficient to see
the unmarked doors which were distinguishable even though the
doors and walls were the same color as the light.

Mr. Helm knew where he was going as he led Herman, without

hesitation, into a small conference room with two chairs and a small
table between and no space for any additional furniture. After they sat
down he adjusted his glasses and asked, “Do you know why you are
here?” Herman could only focus on Mr. Helm’s face because now he
was certain that he was not wearing glasses.

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The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 2 of 7

But he knew that a response was expected so he said ”I’m Dead?” and
as he spoke he realized that speaking was similar to the previous
experience with his computer monitor. The words just came out. He
heard them but he did not feel the vibrations in his vocal chords.

“You are not dead”, Mr. Helm insisted adamantly but still calm, “at
least not yet! This is merely the preparation for your Judgment” , he
said emphasizing the word, preparation. “You will receive a description
of your present status, the Judgment process, and a brief preview of
what happens after the Judgment.”

Herman asked, “How long will that take?”. It is interesting to him that
he could still feel a growing irritation with Mr. Helm.

“That is one of the first things you will have to learn. Time does not
exist here.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t you just take me from that waiting room
and didn’t that take time!” Herman’s words shot out like shotgun
pellets.

Mr. Helm replied, “Herman, one, you were in the waiting room; two,
you followed me here; and three, we are in this room. You see, there
are only events; one, two, and three. And there is process, which is a
sequence of events.
“ Time is something that was developed in your world,” he continued, “
and is based on the relative position of the Earth and Sun. Then it was
used as a dimension applied to events. But the Earth and the Sun don’t
exist here. Herman, Time is not a dimension in our Reality.”

“Baloney! I don’t believe it,” insisted Herman belligerently.

“What time is it!” demanded Mr. Helm without losing his calm manner.

He looked at his wrist. Damn. They have stolen my watch. Sylvia will
kill me. I remember when we bought it. I just made vice-president and
she wanted to celebrate by buying me something. “You need
something better than that Casio. A Movado”. We went to Lord &
Taylor’s in Princeton; I wanted a chronograph

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The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 3 of 7

She wanted an Allia, a museum piece.

He had used a chronograph since his Navy days it would be a betrayal

to his roots not only to get a Movado but for it to be anything other
than a chronograph.

“But you’re an executive now”, she murmured.

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The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 4 of 7

I felt reborn into a new greater being. “It cost $830?” I made my last
defense.
“But you save $250“ she whispered conspiratorially. She did not want
the salesman to know.
“OK” and it was settled.
Then the argument began about which credit card to use. I said that if
we used the American Express Card we might be able to claim it.
Sylvia reminded me about Mr. Edelstein’s warnings…
My credit cards!
He didn’t think it would be proper to feel his pocket in front of Mr.
Helm so he surreptitiously pushed back in the chair to feel the
backpressure of his wallet. It was gone. “Damn, they stole my wallet
also.”

“Herman… Herman… Herman” Mr. Helm repeated until he saw

Herman’s eyes refocus. “I asked you what time it was.”

“ What time?” in a rising voice,

“ You stole my watch.” Still louder.
“ And my wallet.” Almost shouting,
“What kind of a place is this? “ Herman is now shouting.
Mr. Helm now had his attention. “Herman, that is exactly what I am
trying to explain to you.”

“Well I don’t believe you. All I know is that I got out of bed and
something peculiar happened. And you stole my watch and my wallet.
This could be a dream. Yea, How do I know that I am not dreaming?”

“You don’t have your watch and you don’t have your wallet!” Mr. Helm
announced conclusively.

Herman knew the he was right.

“Now, can we get on with it?” Mr. Helm asked. He adjusted his glasses
and continued slowly, “ You are here to prepare for The Judgment,
which is the next step and it will determine the disposition of your
soul.”

“Do I have to defend myself or do I get an attorney, or whatever you

have here?”

Mr. Helm, a specialist in processing souls from Common Law societies,

continued patiently, “This is not a trial. You see, your lifetime on Earth
was the trial. There are no questions of fact to be determined.

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The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 5 of 7

Everything is known. All your actions and all your thoughts are already
in the record.”

Herman had a rising feeling of anxiety. He was thinking about the time
he deliberately killed a dog with his car because another car cut in
front of him and his anger was uncontrollable. He was sorry at the time
and he still regretted it. “Don’t I get a chance to defend myself. To tell
them I’m sorry. It’s not fair.”
“It’s not fair,” he said to Mr. Helm “you can’t do that.”

“Herman, I am here to brief you on the way things are, not how you
feel about the process. Before you can go to Judgment it is required
that you be properly briefed.”

“Well I don’t like it. I should get a chance to defend myself. To explain
why I couldn’t drive Harry to the emergency room when he had that
attack. I had an important meeting and who knew how serious the
attack was. If I knew he was dying I certainly would have taken him
when his wife, Muriel, called.
“I’m telling you, this is not fair. Suppose I don’t go along. There must
be alternatives.”

As a response to his outburst, he was in a snowstorm. Herman could

barely make any progress in the deep snow. Behind him the polar bear
was steadily gaining, five big loping bounds to his single struggling
step. He could see the snow as it fell off his boot with each difficult
step as he slowly extracted one foot at a time from the suction of the
snow. With each step he drew a painful breath. As the bear pounced he
sank into the snow. Down. Down.

It was now water. He could see the bubbles as they floated up in front
of him. They were moving up so slowly, gracefully, while he was being
pulled down so rapidly. He struggled to get control of his descent but
his lungs were about to burst, to expel the spent air in exchange for
the watery atmosphere. He did not want to drown.

Instead of losing consciousness he was now swimming through the air

inside the mouth of some very large monster. He could see the
backside of the teeth on his left as he swam over the tongue. On the
right there was there was a cavernous entrance to the esophagus. The
jaws were slowly closing as he did a very strenuous breast stroke,
rapidly fluttering with his feet to get through the jaws before they
closed. He barely escaped the snap when he heard Mr. Helm ask,
“Were you asking about alternatives?”

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The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 6 of 7

Mr. Helm recognized that Herman was coming out of denial and was
ready to listen. “Let me explain how the Judgment works. Feel free to
ask questions at any point. The Judgment is done by the Creator with
the assistance of a judicial tribunal.”

“Will I be alone?” Herman asked.

“No. It is done as a continuous process. You will go in as part of a

group. You will know when it is your turn. There may be some
discussion by the tribunal and then you will be told to go to the right or
the left. It is just that simple.”

“Will they ask me any questions?” He felt that the briefing was coming
to a close and he wanted to prolong it.

Mr. Helm resumed, ”Rarely. Since everything about you is already

known. Now after the Judgment your spiritual form will be dominant
and the physical be carried interiorly. In each of the environments you
are sent to there will be an indoctrination, the intensity of which
depends on the state of your spiritual health when you arrive. “

“What do people do there?”

“We call the populace, souls. They do the same as they do in all
realities. They maintain it. You will have an appropriate function. But
you will be getting more details in your indoctrination.”

He was becoming apprehensive about letting the interview end. “How

many people, I mean souls, are there?”

Mr. Helm was very experienced and he knew all the ploys; he was
polite and calm. “Well, from Earth alone I estimate 50 billion and there
are other realities although I don’t know them all. So the total spiritual
realm is much larger than 50 billion. You will not be lonely, Herman”

He is in another waiting room; sitting; thinking about the meeting with

Mr. Helm.
“I am lonely. What am I doing here? What am I going to do? Am I given
an assignment or do I choose? Do they need engineers here? “
“I should have asked Mr. Helm if I get to go back to earth to see what
is going on.
Will I meet my grandparents? Or maybe Einstein or Plato? I should
have asked more questions. How do I get in touch with them? Do they
have telephone directories?”
“This is nothing like what I expected. It should be happier and it should
be in Technicolor. More like the Wizard of Oz“

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The Shanty Boat Writer’s WorkshopThe Interview Page 7 of 7

Herman reviewed what he had read. The Bible refers to Heaven and
Hell but gives very few details about them. Swedenborg, the Jehovah
Witnesses, and novelists like Charles Williams give a lot more
information about the spiritual world and what happens after death.
But he doesn’t remember specific information about the process.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead did describe something but he couldn’t
remember anything but preparation in this life and Reincarnation
afterward. “Now that sounds like a good idea. If I believed in
reincarnation would I be sent back? I don’t think it fair to be judged
for all eternity on the basis of one lifetime. Too bad I am not a
Buddhist, maybe they go to a better place.”
“Time may not exist here but I feel that this is a long wait. I wish Mr.
Helm were here. I could tell him, ‘ you see, I feel that I’m waiting. Isn’t
that a sense of Time? Therefore time must exist’.” He felt that he had
a sound epiphenomenalism argument. “Maybe I could write a paper
‘The Persistence of Time in Dimensionless Space’”.
“Just wait for the next event.” he thought,

“Ladies and Gentleman” said the chairman “the next event will be our
guest speaker, Mr. Herman Kaufman, Manager of Production Support at
Longthrap Motors of Long Island. His topic is Project Control.” It was
the monthly meeting of the Memphis chapter of the ASME in a medium
sized dining room of the Peabody Hotel. It was the standard boring
social ritual of the professional engineering meeting.
The talk contained very little new technical information and that was
only to neophytes. The usefulness of the meeting was in reinforcing the
image of Longthrap Motors, establishing professional contacts, and the
affirmation of their individual professionalism. The dinner was bland,
chicken something or other, but the spare ribs from Smokey Joe’s
across the street which he had after the meeting made the trip
worthwhile. He flew in from LaGuardia that afternoon, just for the talk.
After which he would spend the night at the Peabody, and in the
morning take the American Airlines flight back to Laguardia. The
memory was a validation of his existence.

“I wonder if I will have to start all over.” Herman remembered the

various times in his life when he had to start in a new job or
assignment…

“Herman Kaufman” he heard. “Do they have a PA system?” He joined

the group lining up at the big exit door.

[theinterview.doc] Julien Green 3/4/2009@22:44 A3/P3