February 25 2011

24

Script

Due Date

(2010)

Movie of the week There are two ways to make a comedy: entertain the audience with a bunch of fools or make fools of the audience. Due Date may be closer to the later. Todd Phillips directed Hangover, one of the most surprising comedies of 2009, and it has been well received by both critics and viewers. That is why many have been looking forward to Due Date. Another highlight is Robert Downey Jr., who appears as a comparatively normal person, leaving behind his stupid role of Zach Galifianakis. Unfortunately, great acting is about all Due Date has to brag about. Next time the directors time may be better invested in developing a better story rather than seasoning his script with bad jokes. Synopsis Architect Peter Highman must get to Los Angeles in five days for the birth of his first born. His luggage and wallet end up making the trip without him thanks to Ethan Tremblay, a pathetic actor who gets Peter onto the governments no-fly list. Desperate to get home, he is forced to accept an offer from Ethan to share a ride across the country. The trip quickly becomes the most terrifying and agonizing journey of Peters life.

Scene 1

BEIJING TODAY

Editor: Wang Yu Designer: Zhao Yan

(Ethan gets Peter kicked off his airplane before takeoff. When Peter tries to rent a car to drive back to Los Angeles, he learns his wallet was lost on the airplane.) Peter (P): You got my stuff? Ethan (E): l grabbed it before they zip-tied me. P: Rally Monkey? You get my wallet? E: l didnt see it. P: Wheres my bag? E: I saw your bag, but I didnt grab it because my hands were full. You know, I had this thing in my hand. What kind of car did you get? P: l didnt, because I dont have a license because its in my wallet thats on the ... Right? E: Oh, shoot. What a bummer (1). P: Yeah, bummer. Thanks for the doll. Fking idiot. E: Hey, you wanna ride with us? P: No, Im ne. Im not really a big dog person. E: Look, l know we got off on the wrong foot (2), but l have a really great personality once you get to know me. P: Yeah, Im sure you do. E: I got 90 friends on Facebook. Twelve pending, but I got 90 friends. Ill cover expenses. You can pay me back when we get to Hollywood. P: LA. E: Huh? P: Its not called Hollywood. Its Los Angeles. E: Yeah, but lm going to Hollywood. Whats your name? P: Peter. E: My names Ethan. Ethan Tremblay. And this little guy ... (Ethan holds his dog) This is Sonny. And we would be honored to have you ride with us. Come on. Itll be fun.

Scene 3

Scene 2

(On the rst evening of their trip, Peter and Ethan stop at a motel.) P: Hey, Hollywood. Cards been declined. E: Whats that? P: Your card? lts no good. E: Oh, gosh. P: lts OK. E: You know what? l bet I tapped it out (3) when l rented this car. P: Great. Well pay cash. How much you got? E: Sixty bucks. P: You have 60 bucks entirely? E: Yes. P: How much did you spend on marijuana? On your medicine? E: l dont know, around 200 bucks. P: Two hundred bucks? E: Yeah. P: Sixty bucks for gas, food, lodging, everything? E: Shes the only dealer in town. She names her price. P: What were you thinking when you spent

almost all of our money on drugs? E: l dont think in those terms. P: What terms do you think in? E: Im not an accountant. Im not even Jewish. P: Are you an adult? E: Of course lm an adult. Im 23 years old. P: You are the most shot-out (4) 23-yearold lve ever seen. How have you made it? How have you not run yourself over with a car? E: Ive done that. P: How have you survived? Thats my question. E: Mostly luck. P: Yeah. Thats what l thought. Just dumb fking luck. Were screwed, Ethan. E: How so? P: You spent all our money on weed! E: lts just another speed bump. P: You know what? lm gonna call my wife. Shes gonna wire me money. Thats it. E: She cant. You dont have an lD. P: Shell wire it to you. See? Thats an adult solving a problem.

Vocabulary

1. bummer: Slang for a feeling of disappointment or frustration 2. to get off on the wrong foot: to have a bad start to a relationship 3. tap out: to run out of 4. shot-out: clueless or naive 5. tense up: become tense (By Wang Yu)

(Ethan falls asleep while driving, causing a near-fatal accident.) P: Stay away from me. E: Jeez Louise, are you OK? P: Am l OK? Do l look OK? I have a broken arm, three cracked ribs. I have seven stitches in my armpit. Does that answer your question? No, not OK. E: Peter, I am terribly sorry. P: Are you? Sonnys all banged up. Im a wreck. You dont have a scratch. E: Doctor said l was in such a deep sleep I didnt tense up (5). l told you l was a deep sleeper. P: Yeah. Did the doctor say it is not advisable to fall asleep while driving? E: I was just trying to rest my eyes for a few seconds. But seriously, next time try not to tense up. Really. (Tonys friend comes to pick him up.) E: Whos that? P: My actual friend. Hes come to pick me up. All the way from Dallas. E: Oh, good. Shotgun. P: Nope. Not us. Just me. Were done. And by the way, its been a pleasure. But just so my conscience is clear, let me let you know why youre not coming with us, OK? Its not because you got me kicked off a plane and shot by an air marshal. Not because you stood by as l had my ass handed to me by a handicapped hillbilly. I am certainly not leaving you here because you almost got me killed during the most important week of my life. I am leaving you here for a far more fundamental reason: I despise who you are at a cellular level. E: Ive heard that before, and Im trying to work on it. P: Great. Now hear this: Beware. Im warning you, dont go to Hollywood. The streets are not paved with gold. They are paved with the carcasses of imbeciles like you who think theyre gonna make it. Pray you, avoid it. Did you get that? That was Shakespeare. Heard of him? E: Yes, lve heard of him. Hes a famous pirate. And by the way, its Shakes Beard. P: Let me give you a little bit of friendly advice. Nobody who calls themselves Hollywood has ever made it in Hollywood.