WritinganEffectivePersonalProfile

Scholarshipapplications,personalprofilesandsupplementalinformation(whenrequired)arereviewed byascholarshipcommitteecomprisedofUAfacultyand/orstaff.Dependingonhowmanyscholarships eachapplicantiseligiblefor,manyapplicationsarereviewedbymultiplecommittees.Thecommittees taskistomatchthescholarshipprogramwithascholar.Directthereaders.Whyareyoutheexemplary choicetoreceiveascholarship? Committeeswillevaluatethefollowing:leadership,extracurricularinvolvement,presentation(grammar, punctuation,etc),youreducationalandcareergoalsandplans,andanyotherinformationyoufeelthe committeeshouldknowaboutyouoryourapplication.Trytotouchuponeachofthosecriterionsin yourpersonalprofileandgointoasmuchdetailasyoucanwithinthe3000character(approximately 500word)limit.Itisrecommendedthatyoucomposeyourprofileinawordprocessingprogramsuchas MicrosoftWord,andthencopyandpasteintotheboxprovided. Effectiveprofilessuccessfullydothefollowing:
Giveinsightaboutwhoyouare.Theyshowuswhoyouare,howyouthink,howyoudecidetoact(ornotact)upon something,howyouapproachaproblemordilemma,howyouinteractwithyourenvironment.

Avoidbeingmelancholy!Youdohavesomethinginterestingtowriteabout.Dontwritea resume(unlessaskedfor);letusknowwhatmakesyoustandoutamongsttheotherapplicants. Yourpersonalprofileisreadbycommitteemembersmakingscholarshiprecommendationsso takethetimetoputyourbestfootforward. ProfileBrainstorms: Describeactivitiesyouareinvolvedinthatrelatetoyoureducationalplanoryourfuture career Describeascholasticachievementyouhavemade,andwhyitisimportanttoyou Describecontributionsyouhavemadetoyourcommunityand/orcampusandexplain howthoseexperienceshavecontributedtoyourpersonalgrowth Pickanexperiencefromyourownlifeandexplainhowithasinfluencedyour development Wheredoyouseeyourself10yearsfromnow

Youmaychooseatopicthat200otherstudentswriteabout(whichisfine).Buthowyouwrite aboutyourtopiccandistinguishyouressayfromthepack.

Writelogicallywherethereadercanfollowyourtrainofthought.Makesureyour sentencesrelatetoeachother.Usetransitionswhenachangetakesplaceinyourstory oryouaremakinganewpoint. Avoidredundantsentencesandphrases.

Useyourownvoice;youdontneedtoimpressbyusingesotericjargonorvocabulary. Readersdetectpretensionwhenreadingonemilesizemultisyllabicwordafteranother, whichmakesthewritinglesscompelling.However,itisagoodideatoconsulta dictionaryandthesaurustofindtherightwordsthatconveyyourideaswithprecision. Gooddictionstrengthensessays. Writewhatyouknow.Ifyouaretryingtoimpressthecommitteebywritingona complicatedsubjectmatterbutyouarenotpassionatenorknowlittleaboutit,the readercanpickuponthisandyouressaymayseemdisingenuous. Useappropriatelanguage.Keepinmindyouraudiencescholarshipcommittee memberswhomustchoosetherightscholarforthescholarshipprogram. Genericstatementsdontrevealwhyyouareunique.Usedetailed,vividdescriptionsto producedistinctmentalimagesofyourstory.Herearesomeexamplestoillustratethis point:

Thisopeningsentenceismorespecific,butitneedsfurtherelaborationtolearnhowthe writermotivatedandencouragedteammembers. Genericstatement: Beingchosenascaptainofthesoccerteammadememoremature. Analternativedescription: WhatIlearnedfrombeingthecaptainofthesoccerteamwashowtomotivateandencourage otherseffectivelywhensituationsseemedhopeless. Heresanotherexampleoftwodescriptions: GenericStatement: Mymomisthemostinfluentialpersoninmylife.SheissupportiveineverythingIdoandsheisa greatrolemodel.ItrytoemulateherandfollowherteachingsineverythingIpursue.

Howisthismomsupportive?Howissheagreatrolemodel?Isthereaspecific exampleofhermothersqualities?Showvs.tell.
Heresanalternativedescription: Iwanttoraisemychildrenlikemymotherdid. Mymomneverusedaguilttriptoteachmewrongfromright.WhenItoldherin4thgrade,I didntneedtopracticeSilentNightformyorganplayingdebutatMidnightMassshemerely asked,Haveyouthoughtthisideathrough?Ithoughtitwasabrilliantplantokeepme fresh,soIsaid,yes,withouthesitation.Mynervesgotthebestofmethatnight,andI startedonthewrongnote,stumblingthroughthefingerpatternsofthesong,andcompletely playedthepieceoffkey.Icouldnthelpbutseeteensintheaudienceshakingintheirseats,

tryingtostifletheirlaughs.AfterIplayedthefinalnote,Iran/walkedtositnexttomymom, whosmiledatmeandenfoldedmeinahugepewhug.Afterwards,Iwasdespondent;yet,my motherkeptbeamingwithpridethatIcompletedthefullsonginfrontof300people.Shenever letonifshewasembarrassedorifshewasembarrassedforme.Shedidntneedtoremindme thatpracticewouldhavemadetheexperiencelessharrowing. Butsheknewhowtousethepowerofshame. WhenIcameoutofourbathroomonemorning,myravenhairbleachedtowhiteandmybrown pupilssheeredoverbyvioletcontacts,mymomsfacewentpaleandimmediatelyflushedto maroon.Shepacedbetweenournarrowhallwayfivetimes,andsimplyasked,Whyhaveyou erasedyourgrandmothersfeaturesfromyou?Areyousoashamedofyourheritage?Ifeltthe disappointmentofgenerationswithherwordsandhercurtdeliverystunnedme.Ithencried andcouldntbelievewhatIhaddonetomyself.BeforeIcouldrunbackintothebathroomto correctmyappearance,shelatchedontotheedgeofmyshirtandforcedmedownstairswhere afamilyreunionwasgatheringtocelebratemygrandmothers75thbirthday.Mynewlook attractedquestioningstaresandjokefodderfrommyfamily.Witheachembarrassing explanationandglancesofshame,mymothermademeaccountableformyactionsandtaught metheimpactofmydecisionandbehaviorthatday.Asinthisepisode,mymompasseddown effectivelifelearningteachingmethodsthatIhopeIcanemulatewithequalpatienceand wisdomformyownchildren.
WorksConsulted: CollegeBoardCollegeEssayWritingTips:WriteanEffectiveApplicationEssay http://www.collegeboard.com/student/apply/essayskills/9406.html NorlinScholarsProgramTipsforWritingScholarshipEssaysandGettingStrongLettersof Recommendationhttp://www.colorado.edu/norlinscholars/apply.htm