Travis Rutledge Ms.

Hoffmann English 1102 3/31/14

For this revision of my draft, I worked on my introduction along with the grammar and overall flow of my paper. I tried to be more clear on what my inquiry question was, and what I was telling. The current state of my draft is, I feel, somewhat decent. I am still unsure if I am stating my inquiry question well enough, and if my introduction works. A question I have for my reader is how could I make my inquiry question clearer. Also how is the overall flow of my paper? Internet Censorship in China and the United States Its the early morning and I am sitting at my computer checking my email and Facebook. I see people complaining about having to go to work, people complaining about the gas prices, and people even complaining about the upcoming deadline of Obama Care. When I see an email from a cousin of mine who is living in China for work, I always feel worried. His emails are always very short, not saying very much about work or how things are over there. When he came the states for holiday, it seemed like he never stopped talking, saying all the things he wanted to say in the emails but couldnt. He kept saying things like how he had to be careful of what he said online, or what he posted, because in China the internet is highly regulated and has strict laws. My cousin told us stories about how one of his friends at work was always complaining about the government on his blog and how it wasnt right, and then one day he never came back to work. Some said the government arrested him for what he posted online.
Comment [LR1]: Here I chose to go with my third introduction and combine it with a little more information that I had in my original introduction.

I have always been on the Internet ever since I was little and had a computer in the house. Growing up becoming very fond of it and technology, this story has always been an interest of mine. In the past, I have done research on various things having to do with Internet,t in the United States, like a bill that was going through the United States government known as CISPA, or Cyber Intelligence Sharing Protection Act. CISPA was a proposed bill that would allow websites to give your personal information to the United States government without your consent. I also had a teacher who visited China and returned with stories of what the Internet was like. Having been really close to the teacher at the time, I was fascinated by the stories and ever since Ive always wanted to learn more. I want to learn more about Internet censorship and why it is so different in the United States than it is in China Chinas growth and stake on the internetInternet is a unique one. The Peoples Republic of China, had embarked on a program of economic expansion and industrial reconfiguration in the late 1970s, the nations economy had expanded at an unprecedented rate in terms of its political and cultural frameworks. Chinese leaders spent a lot of time improving the had focuses on the internet which lead to the worlds fastest internet growth rates, with 26 million in 2001 to over 87 million in early 2004. (Kluver) In 2010, China hads the highest amount of the internet user count of over 400 million. (Google and Internet Control) When I read this, I was astounded. Once I realized that China had more people using the internet than the United States has citizens, I was blown away. Chinas internet growth however was piggybacked with efforts to limit the potential for social or political destabilization encouragement. This involved creating an infrastructure that would allow for governmental surveillance, and active censorship of any content that might
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present the government in a negative light. (Kluver) I wanted to know why China w anted to shape the internet in this way so I read in to it and discovered that during Mao Zedongs dominance over the political apparatus, all of the different kinds of media were seen as exclusively political mechanisms. The state mainly controlled all media outlets, focusing them on further developmenting and improvement ofing the government. The United States did play a role in the development of the internet in China in terms of the technological architecture and the applications and uses of that architecture. (Kluver). The source even went on to say that the rise of the internet will ultimately lead to the democratization of China. This shocked me because I didnt know the US had a role in how the Chinese structured their internet. However, todays internetInternet censorship in China is still very strict and comes with very severe consequences. There are more than a dozen agencies that are involved in implementing a host of laws, regulations, and other tools that are meant to try to keep information and ideas from the Chinese public. An example of Along one ofwith these laws and regulations are for example, such as preventing people posting about the 1989 Tiananmen Square Protests., Tthere areis severe consequences for breaking these laws or crossing the line. Shi Tao, a chinese journalist, was given a 10-year prison sentence for merely talking about what hes not allowed to do with regard to Tiananmen Square. Previously, I knew that there were regulations and laws against postings about the Tiananmen Square Protests, but learning that a person got a 10-year sentence for just saying what he cant do was crazy. (Chinas Censorship of the Internet and Social Media) Another person I read who was prosecuted was Liu Xiaobo, who was using the Internet to advocate for human rights and political reform. Here in the United States, we have the royalty of having the right to use the internet to express our voice for human rights and political reform and not have to worry about being prosecuted for it due to the First Amendment.

In my eyes, this comes across to me as the government oppressing their people in order to maintain their socialist, state-run country, but that is just my opinion. In 2011, there was a congressional hearing on the topic of Chinas censorship of the internet and social media. In the hearing it was discussed how Chinas leadership had grown more assertive in its violation of basic human rights. With the boom in popularity of social media and popular internet sites, Chinese citizens remain under the watchful eye of the governmentstate. They are unable to voice a range of criticisms that Americans undoubtedly take for granted each and every day. The fact that China has imprisoned more internet activists than any other country in the world is a great sadness within itself. If a Chinese citizen posts a tweetn that talks about local corruption they risk facing harassment or even abuse. This ordeal about how a Chinese teenager could face this type of repercussions over a tweet or post relates to me greatly. I have, on countless occasions, ranted and complained about various things about the government whether it is a law or bill going through the senate; not once had worried about what I was posting. I could only imagine how different it would be over in China. On another account, my US History teacher in high school had the opportunity to teach in China for a year and brought backke personal accounts of internet censorship. He kept a Tumblr blog as a kind of diary that contained pictures and stories from his time there, and he had always expressed how he couldnt write all of what he wanted because he could have faced consequences for doing so. He also described how certain aspects of Google were blocked and that the search filters were unbelievably strict. My intentions of this paper is not to bash the internet censorships that in China has, but understand why they are what they are, and why they are so different than in America. An Editorial written by G.E. Gorman, an employee at the School of Information Management at the

Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand talked about the very thing I was not trying to do. Gorman goes on to discuss how there are a mass of attacks on Chinas policy of internet control and how it isnt how it seems. He talks about how most societies censor the internet in some manor or another. In New Zealand, internet content is censored in schools, universities, and the law, CIPA, or Childrens Internet Protection Act, requires libraries and schools to filter internet content in order to receive federal funds. This really opened my eyes, to think that in China, all of the censorships may seem normal, but from a liberal western democracy, our view with regard to what content is acceptable. (Gorman) Based on my research, and prior knowledge, and experiences, I have learned that nearly every country that has access to the internet has some sort of censorship, whether it be content censors for schools and universities like in the United States and New Zealand or much stricter censorships like in China, from a liberal democracy point of view. It makes me wonder in the future ifwill liberal countries such as the United States will continue to pressure a country like China to change their stance to one more like their own. After reading sources that seemed to quote-oun-quote bash China and their censorships and sources that take an unbiased look at the matter, I have succeeded my goal to further my understanding of the censorships in China and why they are what they are. If you took the time to understand both sides of the controversy and look at it from an unbiased stance, how would you feel? Do you feel like the censorships in China are unfair or are they justified?

Evaluative Bibliography
China's Censorship of the Internet and Social Media: The Human Toll and Trade Impact : Hearing Before the Congressional-Executive Commission on China, One Hundred Twelfth Congress, First Session, November 17, 2011 .
Washington: U.S. G.P.O, 2012. Print. This source is about the impact of Chinas censorship of social media. The article is a transcript from a US congressional hearing on the subject that contains various officials words on the matter. It is talked about how hard it is in China on the internet. The article talks about how the line that cant be crossed is a gray area. While mentions of the 1989 Tiananmen protests are off limits, Chinas censorship remains at the whims of governmental agencies that seek to limit anything that they perceive to be destabilizing commentary. A civilian Shi Tao was even sentenced to a 10-year prison sentence when Yahoo! opened up their personally identifiable information and gave it to the Chinese secret police. He merely posted information about what hes not allowed to do with regard to Tiananmen Square. This source is relates to my topic in the manor that it discusses what kind of censorships are present in China, and what kind of outcomes it has on the Chinese people with contrast to people of the United States. By giving examples and stories of things that have happened, provide details that I can gather to help compose my paper. The article contains words from officials from both China and the United States which gives me perspective of a Chinese person verses an American. This source is very credible similarly to the other congressional hearing about Google and China. Due to it being an official government document, it is sure to have credibility. Along with that, the information is cited along with images of some of the information. Within the Appendix, all of the stories and information that is referenced within the hearing is written and displayed in full, which allows you to go and check and expand on the information given. Having found this through the schools librarys database and finding the pdf on the gpo.gov website, the article is sure to be valid and not a hoax.

Comment [LR2]: Here I added in my evaluatiative bibliography

Gorman, G.E. "China-bashing in the Internet Censorship Wars." Online Information Review. 29.5 (2005): 453-456. Print. This source is titled, China-bashing in the internet censorship wars, and is just about that. It focuses on China with internet censorship and to raise the subject of how most societies carry out internet censorship in some form or another. After making comparisons between the Peoples Republic of China and the liberal west, the article shows the reality that there are differing national and regional interpretations of what constitutes acceptable content. It was brought up in the article that the war th at is going on between countries like the United States and China having different censorships is essentially another example of lets bully someone. The source talks about how the issue had arisen from the unexpected source, the ones that should know better. For example the IFLA was brought up which is an organization that takes pride in their international understanding and acceptance of different norms. This article is a very good source when it comes to my topic. For one, it is unbiased, looking at both sides of the situation. Talking about reasons behind censorship in general and the different kinds of censorship that each country has really gives a broad unbiased look. Supplying me with this kind of information on my topic really supplies me with a deeper understand on censorship as an entity, and that mostly every country censors the internet at some level.

The source seems to be credible with having all of its information properly cited at the end of the article. The author, G.E. Gorman, is works for the School of Information Management at the Victoria University of Wellington, so the author is skilled with analyzing data in a professional and correct manor.

Google and Internet Control in China: A Nexus between Human Rights and Trade? : Hearing Before the Congressional-Executive Commission on China, One Hundred Eleventh Congress, Second Session, March 24, 2010 .
Washington: U.S. G.P.O, 2010. Internet resource. This source is the transcript from a congressional hearing of the United States on the topic of Google and internet control in China. The article talks about Chinas control over their internet and how it affects trade for the world and the lives of the Chinese people. The article says that China has over 400 million internet users, which is the most in the world, but China also has one of the strictest restrictions to the internet. It is also said that, there are more than a dozen agencies that are involved in implementing a host of laws, regulations, and other tools to try to keep information and ideas from the Chinese government. The Chinese government is continuing to strengthen control over the internet and also to harshly punish citizens who use the Internet to advocate for human rights and political reform, such as Liu Xiaobo. The article then goes in to how Google is involved and how it affects global trade. This article is relevant to my topic down to the last word. The whole point to my topic is to uncover reasons why the censorship is so different among China and the United States. The article shows both sides to the situations by showing words said by officials of China and the United States, all while giving factual information relevant to my topic. Saying specific outcomes and reasoning behind the censorships, gives me hard core information that I can use to further my understanding. Everything that was written in the article was headed by who said what and everything was cited via footnotes. This source is a very credible source with being an official transcript from a congressional hearing. All the information in the article was either written or spoken by officials from either country, and the information was properly cited. Having the cover page with all the official information for a government document such as the Authenticated U.S. Government Information logo in the top left and where to find the document on the United States government webpage, the document can be verified to be credible.

Kluver, Randolph. "Us and Chinese Policy Expectations of the Internet." China Information. 19.2 (2005): 299-324. Print. This source is an article written by Randolph Kluver about the US and Chinese Policy expectations of the Internet. The article gives information on what the United States and China had in mind when they were building the internet and what they were building it for. Information on Chinas state of mind was given, such as when it was said that, Chinas policy toward technology has been geared toward building the nations economic and political strength, and ultimately reinforcing and proving Chinas superiority as a socialist nation. The United States policy was also given which was ironically the complete opposite of China. The US promoted technology transfer and technological transformation, which assumes that technology, will fundamentally alter Chinas s ocialist economic and political system. This article is very relevant to my topic due to the fact that it discusses both the United States expectation of the Internet as well as Chinas. The information helps to understand the various laws and regulations that censor the

internet in China. The article doesnt directly talk about internet censorship, however the reasoning behind how China structures and built the internet in their country verses the United States is a huge part of my overall topic. Without the information in this source, I wouldnt know the mindset from each country as they first went in to the internet. The source seems to be very credible, coming from SAGE publications, which is a leading international publisher of journals, books, and e lectronic media for academic, educational, and professional markets. (sagepublications.com) The author, Randolph Kluver, is an executive director at Singapore Internet Research Centre. This means that the author is a credible author and knows the information he talks about. All of the information is very well cited by having an entire page dedicated to all of the sources used in the article. The source was also found using the schools online database which weeded out the possibility of being a hoax article with false information.

Zhou, Yongming. Historicizing Online Politics: Telegraphy, the Internet, and Political Participation in China . Stanford: Stanford University Press, 2006. Print. This source is about how the internet is not unprecedented in Chinese history. It goes in to analyze how to Chinese used telegraphy during the late Qing, and the internet in the contemporary period. The book gives a more historical look at how China developed and used the technology. Going in to how the military uses the internet and how military websites in China are set up, the source offers information behind the censorships other than how they affect people. Telling how the internet first was in China, the source goes further into the background of the censorships. This source relates to my topic by giving a deep look at the internet in china and the history of it in the area. The book has a section that lists, charts, and dates of various key events that play a role in the internet restrictions in China. The section of the book I am using looks directly at the internet in China and how it developed and how it is controlled, which relates directly to my inquiry question. Being published by the Stanford University Press, the book is a credible source. The author Yongming Zhou has written many different books and articles on China and the Internet, so he is well educated on the topic. I had used the schools online database t hrough the library to locate the book. Since the schools library had the book, it had to of have some credibility or else they wouldnt have purchased it.