True love or true self-delusion

As paper getting burnt in fire with

abstract red, orange and yellow sheens,
just like that; intense, colorful and strong
as solid concrete. That is what love could
be like for a normal person when
talking about love or when loving
either a relative or other person.
Being loyal to our dug in thought that
fidelity have not been made for people,
we started a free relationship in which
both of us had the freedom to kiss or to
fuck whoever we want. At the begging
that sounds worthy, nobody bother you
and nobody keep an eye on you,
probably an adolescent that starts living
his life doing friends and not having his
parents there watching him, with the
mind full of things to do and envy of
living what he have not lived, could be a
good way to illustrate the freedom that
this relationship give us. Maybe, there
was an ephemeral indifference face to
the things that the other person could do,
possibly because at the beginning this
situation is easier to handle, that is like
the first hours when droplets started
coming out slowly and softly from the
faucet, but when time keep going; hours,
days and moths do a bigger role, those
droplets could become into a big pool or
an expensive bill at home. Probably we
are now giving some kicks of drown
inside that wet and frozen pool.
We start doing the situation cloudless,
that in order to have the control of it.
There would not be complains, duties or
compromises in this that I call
something, all that was clear; adding
that jealously had not a sit in this bus.
Uhum! let me laugh!... yes, maybe it
sounds perfect as when Sartre and
Simone through an admirable and
glorious relationship achieved happiness.
Things were supposed to be pretty clear
and we did not have problem with those
game rules. I guess every one of us have
felt his lungs expanding little by little
that the thorax and skin stretch and your
head getting bigger and bigger because
the water, or someone mean, have hold
you inside the water or without air to
breath during many seconds, that finally
when your body cannot anymore you
explode and look desperate for some air.
Well, time has changed our disposition
of not being jealous and to not being
traditional; here it comes when we
cannot just swallow feelings and
thoughts, so that telling things become
necessary as air when you are drowning.
One unforgettable rainy night, sat in a
bar drinking some refreshing cold bitter
beers, he started telling me that things
have changed, that love he knows it
does not exists, but that he state that
maybe that strange and utopic world
could possibly describe what he, a
strong-cold-never-in-love-guy, was
feeling.
We live and talk about things that we do
not know what they are and where they
come from, love probably is one of those
typical words that we use without
thinking too much about his intrinsic
meaning.
-Does true love exist?- I asked him
-No, not at all, ormaybe we think is
love but actually it is just a self-delusion
feeling, if we accept the existence of
feelings from which I differ We are
animals, we do not have feeling, we just
respond to some inputs and we look for
the wellness of our fitness a
sociobiological term.
Sexy and hot as fire, tall, handsome,
green-eyed, kinky-faced, well-built body,
not perfect hair style, disordered beard
guy; he is philosopher and science lover;
he does not leave anything, anything
without having reflexing about the
reasons from which such a thing
emanates feelings or people behaviors,
he has to set out the possible
explanations of a topic.
Love is not real for him, but a curious
dichotomy mark this hilarious moment of
his not funny life, he fell in love with one
girl. Here I go: How come? How do
you love is that is not real? well, he
does not know how to answer that, but,
here I talk; lets say that as in a recipe
there are some ingredients that compose
a dish, there are, in the perception of
what people call love, some things that
can describe or give some clues of being
in love. Could jealously be part of that
dish? Fred, who never ever has felt
jealous for someone, one day felt that a
huge quantity of bowling water fill his
face and that gives him Goosebumps
while he saw me smiling to another guy.
He was jealous that was the first
ingredient. We can add that a cold
Fred being sweet as lollypops; he turn
into a tender soul inside a rude repellent
attitude, he worry about me as he was my
father, he advises me to think about my
economic life, he asks me to prepare
myself for the dark future that one day
could absorb me if I am not prepare; and
we ask: Is that what people call love?,
worry for the beloved.
Well, was that love? or the spellbiding
benefits that came as consequences of
being with her have stimulated his
interest on her and he idealized her and
thinks he loves her? Well, here is when
comes the cliff between two sides that
seem to be the same. Traditional persons
will certainly say that that need of her
and all that is love, but Fred comes to say
that the stiff makes the difference
between one side and the other, one is on
the left and the other is on the right;
banal people is one of both sides the stiff
is love and the other is him, asserting that
love is not there; that we are animals and
animals does not have feeling, we act as
a dog could act we just stay where
someone or something provides us our
well being or make our fitness stronger.
Similarly to when someone has the habit
of moving the legs and he stops but in 2
more minutes his body starts moving
again and he does not realize it; to
deceive ourselves is something that
happens without realizing that we are
doing that; he is conscious about that.
But his mind or heart, where ever
feelings lie, resembles to the appearance
of a straw tangled nest from which the
possibilities of having a clear form is
almost utopian.
I used to believe in love, sometimes I do,
nevertheless the reasonable part of mine
have flourished and does not let me love
him, but strangely I am still doing it.
Love: To have a great attachment to and
affection for, it sounds clear and not
complicated, right? Or maybe we are
supposed just to live as blind people who
just feel and act looking forward love
without asking why.
Are human being destined to have
traditional relationships? Would it be a
requirement to be in love of what we
want by our side.
There are two types of people, the ones
who naively believe in love and the ones
who believe in self delusion.
We love each other with burning passion
and inveterate desire. Or just we love to
much ourselves that we need the other to
make us feel that each one of us deserve
to have an indestructible fitness in
society.