Emotions of the other woman

Shombit Sengupta in The Indian EXPRESS

For men, a woman is an essential object of lust. Women engage in sex without lov
e to overcome monotony, out of monetary greed or the poor ones, for livelihood p
urposes. But it is sustaining emotion that every human being is in search of. Ive
understood from early on in my 30-year consulting profession that to excel in d
elivering sustaining emotion I have to master anthropology, psychology and socio
logy. Living in France I did that from highly recognised French professionals. T
his helped me bring sustaining emotion for products and services from end-custom
ers of different industries in the world.
In professional research I interact with numerous kinds of people, more women th
an men as they are the biggest spenders in the world. In handling about 2000 pro
jects from engineering design, medical, food, luxury goods to feminine products
like cosmetics, perfume and lingerie design, I had to study the emotions of diff
erent hues of womenfolk. For example, for womens lingerie in Europe it was import
ant to portray the womans character as extremely provocative and exuberance to at
tract men while simultaneously evoke acute jealousy in other woman.
The first time I went to Pompeii, a city near Naples, Italy, buried by volcanic
eruption from Mount Vesuvius in 79AD, it was after reading about the hygienic, l
egal brothels of that time still visible today. In 1862 ancient Pompeiis colourfu
l whorehouse Lupanare was excavated. Its risqu murals exhibiting varieties of cre
ative sexual positions advertised the services on offer. So unlike, I thought, f
rom the hypocrisy that tries to hide the other woman today. Whether its the escor
t girl, mistress or prostitute, men use them, but has a thought ever been spared
for the concealed emotion these women feel?
Escort girl: Even in India newspapers openly advertise the services of an escort
girl. Its quite normal that models and celebrities excite men, but their hidden
fantasy for the exotic is revealed in the ads promoting highly educated society
girls, young air hostesses, foreigners, or students. Escort girls have said that
working in a company is too restrictive with basic, stressful work and no hope
for job escalation. As an escort girl she can have huge earnings, better than a
CEO, the work is relaxed, independent, theres choice of working hours, taking a d
ay off, and better still, she can choose her client. She can judge the quality o
f a mans sexual requirement from the telephonic call and give her involvement acc
ordingly. If a mans emotional expression is high, she knows she can earn like an
unlimited taxi metre bill.
The experienced escort girl cribs that the younger ones earn more with less work
. The rate for 18 to 23-year-olds is high, a little lower for 24 to 30-year-olds
, but the 30+ experience a huge fall in earning. In the case of accompanying a m
an for a romantic escapade, the escort girl tends to fall in love with his tende
rness in exotic locales in those few days. She stops taking other client calls,
but at the end the man quits as per the deal. Its very difficult for these young
girls to keep real emotion hidden, to realise later the insincerity of displayed
human sentiment.
Mistress: A woman of 35 to 40 years can easily succumb to becoming a mistress, n
ot for economic comfort, but because she misjudges the strength of her own emoti
on for the man she cannot fully call her own. In her sincerity she tries to make
him happier than happy. The man laps up this energetic dose that fills the gap
in his boring life. If the woman slowly becomes possessive, trouble starts. Men
are at ease in this ambiguous situation if there is no pressure.
Then there is the 45-year-old married woman whos fed up with family routine. Accu
mulating all her husbands defects in her mind, she falls intensely in love with a
nother man. If hes a younger bachelor, he would try in great reciprocal love to g
et this married woman as his wife, but she will never rock her family boat. She
loves her duel life, the revengeful grandeur of getting her own back. A married
woman is an exciting mistress, men enjoy the strong feeling of jealousy, and her
nurturing role. The mistress tries to find a confidant to talk about her restle
ss lovers passionate love plus how shes handling her husband and society. But she
is true to both, she wont hurt either husband or lover, she just wants challengin
g love to make her life inconsistent.
Christine Deviers-Joncour, 56, author of her memoirs called "Whore of the Republ
ic" is best known in France as a mistress. Between 1989 and 1997, she was mistre
ss to Roland Dumas, a former Resistance fighter, foreign minister and head of Fr
ances highest court. For four years, she was being paid by the Elf oil company t
o smooth its relations with the government, via her lover. As per prosecutors, C
hristine received around 7.5 million in salary, expenses and bribes. Dumas admitt
ed his love affair, but denied ever being politically swayed by his mistress. He
got off on appeal. This prompted everyone in Paris to say it was all a fix, the
politician walked free, the mistress spent six months in jail. Dumas didnt even
speak to her on her return from jail. She has nothing now, lives off the goodwil
l of her friends. Hers is a classic tale of love gone awry.
Sex worker: An anonymous quote says, Prostitutes have very improperly been styled
women of pleasure; they are women of pain, or sorrow, of bitter and continual r
epentance. The tragedy of sex workers is that they have to become experts on emot
ion selling while stonewalling their real emotions. Drama is their most sustaini
ng factor. They cannot refuse anybody and very quickly read their clients facial
expression to address the relevant sentiment. For regular clients, displaying em
otion is critical. It seems that lower income clients are sensitive and sincere.
For wealthy men, increasing the bill size is no problem if the woman can demons
trate heartfelt emotion.
Men entice prostitutes, make them fall in love with the promise of protection an
d marriage, but when the woman gets involved, the men do not return. With a tear
in their eyes the women say they call themselves sex workers because sex is the
ir livelihood. Their business is jeopardised if they cannot magnify instant emot
ion sharing with clients. The famous 20th century painter Henry de Toulouse Laut
rec lived for a while in a brothel near Moulin Rouge, Paris, the landmark for ca
baret shows today. With mutual love and respect he captured their subliminal fee
lings in paintings, and said prostitutes were the best possible models as they n
ever consciously posed.
Its womens emotion, whether real or not, that runs the male world. Sex, money, emo
tion, love and drama all combine when having a relationship with a mistress, esc
ort girl or sex worker. To really understand the human psyche, give some thinkin
g space to this hidden aspect of social life to get a chalk-and-cheese understan
ding of human emotion.