20 Key Questions on

Motivation and
Habits, Answered
Habits are at first cobwebs, then
cables. - Spanish Proverb
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Its that time of year the end part when
people start thinking about their lives, their goals,
their habits, and how to change everything for the
better.
As always, Im here to help if I can.
Today Ive answered 20 questions from your
fellow readers, who submitted them via the Zen
Habits Twitter stream. I dont claim to be perfect,
but have learned a lot about habits and motivation
in the last four or five years of habit changes (see
My Story for more). I share some of what Ive
learned with the caveat, of course, that what
works for me might not work for you. I hope it
helps nevertheless.
1. How do you motivate yourself to get
work done after trying many things and
failing over and over again? (via
@ankit_patel)

Motivation is first just about taking that first step
just getting excited about something enough to
get started. Then its about focusing on enjoying
what youre doing, right now, instead of worrying
about how youre going to get to a destination.
You also need to forget about your failures, or at
least the part of them that gets you discouraged.
Take away from your failures a lesson about what
obstacles stand in your way, and leave behind any
bad feelings. Those are in the past. Focus on right
now, and how fun the activity is, right now.

2. What moved you to first start the change
into the Leo we know today? What was
your very first step? (combined question
from @hchybinski & @XIIIzen)

Were the sum of all weve done in the past, from
childhood on, so theres no one thing that led me
to the person I am or the life Im living. However,
I can definitely say that quitting smoking was a
turning point for me, for a couple of reasons:
* It showed me that I could successfully change a
habit, which I had no confidence in before that,
after failing a number of times.
* I learned a lot of successful habit change
principles from quitting smoking, which I applied
to all future habit changes. See my book, The
Power of Less, for details.
3. Why do we willfully and consciously
engage in self-destructive habits while
ignoring our better judgment? (via
@ajdigitalfocus)

I dont think this has been fully answered, but in
my view its that we dont rationally weigh the
risks vs. costs.
When we smoke, we think its too hard to quit, too
painful over the few weeks it takes to quit (cost),
but its not properly weighed against the risks of
not quitting (major illnesses, suffering for years,
early death, incredible expenses for cigarettes and
hospitalization, etc.).
The same is true of unhealthy eating not eating
the junk food is too hard, but the risk of eating it is
obesity, health problems, self-esteem issues, high
medical bills, gym costs if we want to get back into
shape, years of suffering, etc.
The pain of quitting is now, while the pain of
continuing is much later, and so it doesnt seem
too bad. So the answer is to replace the bad habit
with a good habit that you enjoy immensely, and
focus on that enjoyment, right now, rather than
the pain.
4. What is your favorite low tech and high
tech way to track progress on your habits?
(via @jalbright)

Ive tried lots of high-tech trackers from Joes
Goals to The Daily Plate to the Daily Mile to Fit
Day but my current favorite is Daytum. Its
really easy to enter data, and you can display it
publicly in many useful ways. People can look at
my Daytum and see how Im doing, and that
motivates me to keep going.
As for low-tech solutions, my favorite is a
Moleskine notebook. Easy to carry around, nice to
use.
5. How can I become a Morning Person?
I feel its a key to success. (via
@DonSchenck)

While I intentionally became an early riser, and I
love it, its not really a key to success. Its one way
to find the time to pursue your dreams, and its
the way I chose, but I know night owls (famously,
Tim Ferriss) who find theyre much more
productive in the middle of the night. Find what
works best for you.
But to answer your question: do it slowly, five
minutes earlier each morning, and do something
enjoyable with your extra time. Focus on how
wonderful the time of day is, how enjoyable the
activity, and not how much youre suffering
because its too damn early. Youll learn to love it,
and youll adjust over time.
6. If for a moment you start to feel
overwhelmed by the complexities of life,
how do you simplify to get where you want
to be? (via @TroyAustria)

Take a deep breath, and let all the chaos and
frustration flow out of you. Focus not all all the
things you need to do, or that are coming up, or
that have happened, but on what youre doing
right now. And just focus on doing one thing, right
now.
I would take a walk, get some fresh air, and get
some perspective. Try to think about whats most
important to you, what your perfect life would be
like, what your perfect day would look like.
Then, one small step at a time, start making it
happen. Whats standing in the way? What can
you change right now? What can you change
tomorrow? What long-term changes can you start
making?
Declutter the area around you, a little at a time (or
all at once, if you can find the free time and
energy). Cut back on how much youre doing,
which will mean telling people who expect things
of you that you just cant do those things, because
you have too much on your plate.
7. Whats the habit requiring the least
effort that makes the greatest difference?
(via @kofisarfo)

This will sound trite, but Id say positive thinking.
Its not the easiest habit, as it requires that you
start listening to your self-talk, and start telling
yourself positive things instead of negative ones.
But its the one thing that will make the greatest
difference, because it will enable all other habit
changes. It has really made a huge difference in
my life, and I think its a vital component to any
plan to change your life.
8. What would be the 10 most motivating
words I could say to myself every morning
to get myself to exercise? (via
@AmidPrivilege)

I would say these 10 words:
Just lace up and get out the door. And smile.
Once you get started, take that first step, the rest
is easy. And smiling makes it enjoyable.
9. My hubby lacks interest in anything
except boating. How can I motivate him to
get off the sofa? (via @organizedsandra)

I dont think you can motivate others if they
want to do something, theyll do it. If they dont,
then dont make them.
However, you can influence others in positive
ways. Id recommend setting an example by doing,
and sharing how great it is, without judgment for
what hes doing. If hes happy doing what hes
doing, then thats great. If hed like to do more,
then be there for support but dont push.
You can ask for his help, as well, in your efforts.
Sometimes spouses love to help, and that can rub
off on them and get them thinking about trying it
themselves. Or maybe not.
In the end, worry more about what youre doing
and less about what hes doing hes living his
life and youre living yours. People dont like to be
pushed or judged or badgered, but like to be loved
and accepted.
10. How to minimize tension/frustration
with others who are less organized than
you are! (via @originalmuggle)

Its a matter of only worrying about what you can
control, and accepting that which you cant. You
cant control others or their organization level, so
dont even try to.
This is actually a deeper issue of control for many
organized people they want to control
everything in the world around them (and for a
long time I was one of them), but its impossible,
and it only leads to stress and frustration and
conflicts. Instead, learn to embrace a degree of
chaos, accept that the world is out of your control,
and love it. The world is a wonderfully
unpredictable, wild, and beautiful place.
To learn to let go, every time you find yourself
frustrated, stop, and breathe. Let the frustration
flow out of you, and let peace come in. Remind
yourself that you dont have to control, and love
others for their humanness. It takes time, but you
can learn.
11. What is your best advice on keeping
focused on the important when the
distractions in our lives are constant? (via
@gamesizing)

Figure out whats distracting you, and how to
minimize them, or at least put them in a certain
place. Engineer your environment so the
distractions are minimal. For example, shut off
the Internet except for times when you really need
it (predetermined times). At the very least, shut
off email notifications and anything else that pops
up and tells you theres a new message or tweet or
whatever. Close those programs and only have
what you need for the task in front of you.
Learn to focus for short amounts of time say 10
or 15 minutes. Then lengthen that time gradually,
by 5 minutes, until you can focus for 45-60
minutes at a time or more. And enjoy that time
of focus its fantastic.
12. How do you stay motivated in business
when you have never done something
before & the results wont show up until
down the road? (via @darinpersinger)

Learn to love the process, and dont let your
happiness be so dependent on the outcome. Be
passionate about the actual things you do, do
them because you love it, and youll stick with it.
The great things that result will be a natural by-
product.
13. Thoughts on getting unstuck? (via
@coulter520)

If youre stuck on a project or task, give your brain
a breather or a jolt. A breather could be going
outside to take a walk, doing a little bit of easy
meditation (focus on your breath as it comes in,
then goes out, for a minute or two), or doing
something fun like a game for a few minutes (like
5-20 minutes). A jolt could be some kind of
inspiration read blogs or books you find
inspiring, look for something others are doing that
inspire you to do something creative.
If youre stuck in life, that requires a bit more
work, but think of it as an opportunity to re-invent
yourself and your life. Take a break from work if
possible even if its just for an hour or two, but a
day or two is even better. Think of it as a
necessary work session, because it will help you
get unstuck. Take this break as a breather from
your normal routine, but use it not just to veg out
but to think, to get some perspective, to take a
wider look at your life. What are you doing that
you love doing? What can you eliminate thats
both unnecessary and unexciting? If you hate
what youre doing, can you change it to something
you love, or can you change jobs? Can you
automate or outsource things that you dont enjoy,
or eliminate them, so you can focus on creating,
on things you do enjoy? Make a list of things youd
like to do, in the short-term and long-term, and
then start implementing them, one little thing at a
time.
14. How do you stay away from
distractions? Do you do just one thing at a
time or multitask in a planned way? (via
@manshu)

Im a big proponent of single-tasking. Multi-
tasking can work in some cases but most of the
time it gets in the way of focusing on whats really
important. Multi-tasking can work for little tasks,
like checking email and your bank account and
Facebook and things like that. But you should set
aside time for the important tasks earlier rather
than later, when things might get too busy.
When youre going to work on an important task,
clear away all distractions and focus just on that
one task. Close programs you dont need, clear
away clutter on your desk, turn off any
notifications, turn off your mobile devices, and
preferably shut off the Internet and close your
browser.
15. How do you determine when youve
reached a minimalist lifestyle? (via
@clabbur)

Its not a destination, its a mindset. Youre a
minimalist once you decide to have less and do
less, when you decided to stick with enough and
not go for more. I consider myself a minimalist,
but I know theres much more I could do if I
wanted to. I could go live in a cabin in the woods,
in Alaska, and be off the grid. I could use or eat
nothing I didnt make myself. But thats not
realistic, for my life, so I just reduce what I own
and use and do, and slowly change over time.
Any lasting change should be done slowly and
gradually anyway. So think of it not so much as a
destination but a long-term process, and youll
improve over time. Youre never there, at that
minimalist lifestyle exactly, but at the same time
youre always there, if your mind is in the right
place.
16. If you could offer only one piece of
advice about beginning changing habits,
starting fresh what would it be? (via
@andsarah2)

Start with one little step at a time. Thats obvious,
but you might be surprised at how many people
try to change 5-10 habits at once, to start afresh.
Its too hard to make drastic changes like that.
Changes made gradually dont seem hard at all.
For example, instead of giving up meat altogether
to become vegetarian, you could just eat some
vegetarian dishes on different nights of the week.
That will soon become normal, as you learn new
recipes and adjust your taste buds. Then add more
meatless meals, and so on, and each step along the
way, youll adjust and that will become the new
normal for you. Over time, youll have made
great changes, but each step along the way is a
small one and not difficult at all.
17. How do you sustain self-motivation
when you suffer a setback toward your
goals? (via @liveaudaciously)

I always try to enjoy what Im doing. If theres a
setback, thats not a problem, because the
progress Im making isnt as important as doing
the activity (running, reading, writing, cycling,
whatever). And because I enjoy the activity, Ill
keep doing it, even if theres a setback.
Just realize that setbacks are not the ending
points, unless you let them become so. Theyre
just a little stone on the road kick it aside, go
over it, walk around it, but just keep walking. And
enjoy the journey.
18. Besides your own book, what one book
would you recommend to help someone
find their motivation? (via @tomfromhr)

Ive never found a single book that will motivate
someone. Books can help inspire, but theres too
many to choose from Id probably recommend
The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama or any
book by Thich Naht Hanh (Peace Is Every Step:
The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life , and
True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart).
But one of the books I recommend most, that
really reflects how I try to approach things, is
Slowing Down to the Speed of Life , by Richard
Carlson and Joseph Bailey. Its not motivational
but if you try the techniques in the book youll find
that youll easily create the habits you want with a
minimum of stress.
19. What do you do when you used to love
your work, but passion has been killed by
work/life balance issues? (via @RobinLP)

There are two approaches Ive tried and
recommend. The first is to try to reinvigorate your
work, to find new appreciation and passion for
your work. This is the easiest method, from one
point of view, but at the same time isnt always
possible if you truly hate your job. To do it, you
have to look at the things you enjoy about your
job, to appreciate things about your job that you
take for granted, and to try to change your job so
that its something you love doing. You can do that
by creating projects and work for yourself, with
buy-in from your boss or team, that youre excited
about.
The second approach is more drastic but for me
has been so much more rewarding changing
jobs to something you really love doing. This takes
a little more time, and more courage. I suggest
you start doing the job you want to do on the side
even for free at first, until you get good at it or
spread your reputation enough that you can
charge. Eventually, as you gain confidence and
skills, youll want to take the plunge and quit your
regular job.
Either way, youll need to address the root
problem: you need to find balance in your life and
time for things other than work. Workaholism is a
problem when work becomes a problem
meaning if its sapping you of passion, you need to
make a change. Set limits stop working after a
certain time, and schedule some non-work things
that you enjoy. Exercise, hobbies, doing things
with friends or family, creating in some way,
reading, anything other than work. Find the
balance that works for you it takes time and
experimenting, but most of all it takes a
consciousness that you want to change your life.
20. How have the types of habits you have
cultivated evolved over time? (via
@rosshill)

Great question. As with anyone, my habits have
changed since I started Zen Habits I didnt just
cultivate some fundamental habits and then stop,
living a static life. Im always trying new things
out, and my philosophy is always evolving as I
learn. So some of the things you mightve read
when I started Zen Habits back in early 2007
dont quite apply to what Im doing today.
A good example is back in those days I was all
about productivity in the traditional sense
knocking out tasks as quickly as possible, Getting
Things Done, cranking widgets, making the most
of every minute. But as Ive evolved, that has
become less important to me. Ive simplified, and
now I focus on whats important, on enjoying
what I do, on creating, rather than on getting so
much done. Its a more human approach to work,
rather than an industrial drone type of approach.
In fact, I think Ive become simpler over time. I
dont stress out about my running as much, and
instead just go out to enjoy the run. I dont worry
about waking early so much, although I definitely
enjoy the early morning and try to wake early so I
can read and work in the quiet before dawn. I
dont keep track of all my tasks as much as I used
to, so that at any given moment I might not have
an up-to-date task list but I know what I want to
focus on right now.
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a
habit. - Aristotle