Hi! Here to join me on the subway?

Great! You can sit right here.

My name? Im Chris.

That guy. Isnt he just the weirdest thing?

Hey !isten to this. I just !o"e this song. Here. Ta#e this ear$hone.
%o? &e!! i' you say so

This is Chris.
That is his life.
Well, not really. Those have actually been more his mornings than his life. Its the same
deal everyday. Has been for nearly a year.
Oh, Im sorry. I need to give you a proper introduction. Hi, my names Tom. nd Ill be
honest !ith you. I dont "no! !here I am right no!. I dont really "no! !ho I am
anymore, either, so you can understand ho! its finally nice to have someone to tal" to.
ll I "no! is Chris. nd Ill be honest # hes pretty boring. ctually, no! that youre
here, can I complain a bit$ %an, I havent gotten to vent in a long time.
O"ay& heres the brea#down. Chris is #
Oh, Im sorry. I dont feel right complaining to you li"e this. Haha' I mean, you need to
"no! a bit more about me, dont you$
lright, to be honest, I !as e(aggerating a bit about not "no!ing !ho I !as. I really hope
you didnt ta"e me for an enigma !ith a dar" and mysterious past. ctually, thatd be
pretty darned cool, !ouldnt it$ )ut nah* Im +ust a normal guy, !ho happens to be at the
moment, er, disembodied$ Is that the !ord$ I dunno, I 'ee! li"e I have a body+ust
no!here for it to be
ny!ay' )efore I became li"e this, I !as fifteen. Had a nice childhood. ,ot plenty of
presents, hehe, from my parents at every special holiday. -ven !hen I lost things, my
parents !ould buy replacements, so yeah, I guess I !as more than a little spoiled. I dont
thin" my grades !ere especially bad, and I did my fair share of e(tracurriculars. I played
the piano, li"ed to dra!, and !as in the yearboo" class at my school.
)elieve me yet$ Im +ust your average guy, and I dont really "no! !hats going on here
either.
I thin" it started !hen my mom died a !hile bac". I remember feeling really sad, and +ust
lying in bed, closing my eyes, not moving, trying not to let myself feelhuh. nd no!
Im here. Is it a coma$ Is that it$ m I in a coma from the shoc" of loss$ I admit, I never
told her ho! much I cared for her before she died. We had a shouting match, actually
Whatevers going on, Im no! stuc" !atching the life and times of Chris .unhey. /o!
heres !here I complain, because heres an average morning for Chris 0and me no!, I
guess1&
larm !a"es Chris up. He sho!ers and brushes his teeth in it. nd then # !ait, !ait' I
dont have to tell you* see for yourself # Here !e go' Cmere, cmere' The sho!s
starting, come and !atch'
The a!arm rings. (s it a!ways does when it is set right at )*+,. Chris -unhey doesnt
es$ecia!!y care 'or setting his a!arm because schoo! starts at nine 'or him and his dad
wa#es him u$ most o' the time anyway .but not today/. Chris ne"er o"ers!ee$s.
Today is 0ctober

12
th
. He gets u$ and !a3i!y stretches and then stri$s o'' his c!othes
since this morning the shower ha$$ened to be in his bedroom. (nd no the shower doesnt
mo"e around 4 Chris just ha$$ens to be in a di''erent bedroom. The master bedroom that
be!onged to his dad com$!ete with bui!t in shower and !u5urious 6ueen si3e bed. -ad
might"e been in the hos$ita! but that didnt mean Chris wasnt going to ta#e ad"antage
o' it. ('ter a!! the doctor said -ad wasnt contagious so s!ee$ing in this bigger and
better bed was no $rob!em.
Chris ste$s out o' bed and into the shower where he brushes his teeth. 0Isnt that !eird$
)rushing your teeth in the sho!er.1 Today was a shorter shower than usua!7 82 minutes.
He towe!s o'' s!ow!y $ensi"e!y as he contem$!ates his 'ace in the mirror.
9oo#ing good.
Chris gets dressed in a b!ac# shirt and jeans has a bow! o' cerea! and sets o'' 'or the
subway 'are in his !e't bac# $oc#et i:od in his right.
02ame routine everyday* he ta"es the sub!ay to school, or at least I thin" its school he
goes to. /o! !atch # this is the best part # 1
The subway isnt 'ar on!y a b!oc# 'rom his house but it is enough time 'or se"en or so
songs to cran# out 'rom his i:od.
Truth be to!d se"en songs is about twenty 'i"e minutes more than twice the amount o'
time he needs to get the the subway. Chris wa!#s s!ow 4 agoni3ing!y s!ow to anyone
watching but 'or Chris it is 6uite the contrary. Chris may ta#e the wor!d ha!';hearted!y
and at a snai!s $ace but it is the music that 'ue!s him to do e"en that and whi!e he
!istens he is a!i"e.
Chris owns 'ourteen i:ods a!! o' di''erent co!ors. .0ne is hot red another is bright $in#.
He e"en has one a shade brighter than the sun./ They are a!! 'i!!ed to the brim with
music a!together maybe +)2222 songs a!! 'rom the same artist a!! incredib!e stu''.
0.ont !orry. I dont get it either. One guy does /OT !rite 345,555 songs. The name of
the author on the i6ods in intials # T.C... What a committed guy, huh$1
Chris !i#es to thin# o' himse!' as a better more e!ite !istener o' music than other si5teen;
year o!ds. 9i#e the di''erence between one who buys dra'ts 'rom the !i6uor store and the
one who enjoys aged cognac Chris !istens to TC- with a more re'ined taste.
To be 'ran# howe"er no matter Chriss shortcomings he can understand good music.
(nd TC- writes good music. His $articu!ar sty!e .'or some reason Chris is sure it is a
he/ $u!!s in'!uences 'rom a!! $eriods o' music and wea"es them together master'u!!y. His
music ranges 'rom c!assica! counter$oint to discordant ja33 harmonies and is as
a$$ea!ing as modern $o$ music. Com$!e5 and many !ayered notes ascending and
descending !i#e so many dust motes in a sha't o' window !ight this was tru!y ama3ing
stu''.
(nd he cou!d get no one e!se to #now about it.
Chris reaches the subway 4 !ots o' time to s$are. He $ays the 'are to the man 0does Chris
ever notice the grimace he gives him every morning$ Is it contempt$ 6ity$1 and ta#es his
seat.
0and as al!ays1
<itting right across 'rom him is a young man dressed cris$!y and bright!y in a nice
button;u$ shirt .and sometimes it is hot red sometimes it is bright $in#. 0nce he wore
one brighter than the sun./ He is scratching something in his note$ad.
<wee$ing stro#es across the $age. &hat is he drawing? %o he isnt 4 he draws 'i"e
stro#es and sto$s and now he !oo#s as though he is doing the bubb!es on a standardi3ed
test. Chris #nows. The man is notating sheet music.
=&hat a weirdo.>
It came 'rom Chriss mouth unbidden. It a!ways does. Has 'or near!y a year. &as it not
ob"ious to the other $eo$!e in the car the 'ee!ing o' strangeness that emanates 'rom him
and his sheet music? The 'ee!ing that he was not norma! !ess than norma!? The
instinctua! e"en natura! #now!edge that across 'rom Chris was a creature worthy o'
contem$t?
($$arent!y not. Chris is sitting ne5t to a woman who does not re$!y to Chriss statement.
Chris turns to her and reiterates his $oint.
=Isnt he just the biggest weirdo you"e e"er seen?>
The woman turns. =Might I as# whom you are ta!#ing about?>
Chris $oints. =There. That guy. Isnt there just something strange about him?>
The woman remains im$assi"e. =I ha"e no idea what youre ta!#ing about.>
0I dont really li"e Chris. .o you really li"e Chris$ Why !ould he +ust hate on someone
li"e that$ Why !ould he not care about his dad$ With all the time he had, he didnt even
call him in the morning to see ho! he !as doing$ That bastard' He even too" a t!enty
minute sho!er'1
Chris is s!ight!y embarrassed. ( minute $asses and Chris says =Im sorry. I dont rea!!y
#now what I was ta!#ing about. Id !i#e to o''er you something.>
=Yes?>
=Music.>
Chris indicates his i:od. The woman stares at it and says =Its 6uite a!! right. Im not
sure theres much 'or you to o''er me.>
=Come on $!ease. This is rea!!y ama3ing stu'' I ha"e here.>
=Theres nothing there 'or me sonny.>
Chris is si!ent. The woman turns away and Chris is !e't to !isten to the music in his head
as the subway gets c!oser to schoo!.
(nd the com$oser 6uiet!y scratches away.
Well, Chris gets off the sub!ay, and thats !here the sho! ends. 2orry. .ont !orry, it
pic"s up again at the beginning the ne(t day* I only get to see the mornings of Chriss
day.
7ou see in the corner there$ I thin" those are tapes. I dont really !atch them, since they
bore the hec" out of me. Theyre all the same, after all. 7ou !anna "no! !hat I mean$
Here, chec" it out, Ill pop one in.
The a!arm rings. (s it a!ways does when it is set 4
8ast for!arding
Today is (ugust 88
nd
. He gets u$ and !a3i!y 4
%oving on
<itting across 'rom him is a man dressed cris$!y and
Chris is sitting ne5t to a man who does not re$!y to Chris statement. Chris turns to him
and reiterates his $oint.
=That guy. Isnt he just the weirdest thing?>
The man re$!ies =<hut u$. ?ee$ your mean and nasty thoughts to yourse!'.>
Haha' %an, oh man. O"ay, I dont mean to be mean, but didnt Chris +ust deserve that$
=&anna !isten to this song? Its awesome!>
The man !aughs at Chris. =%ah I dont thin# so.
=@ut the music! Its ama3ing!>
=<orry #id> the man re$!ies. =I just dont see it.>
Chris de'!ates.
nd then he leaves the sub!ay, right$ 2ame old, same old!anna see more videos$
The a!arm rings 4 just as it a!ways does 4 the a!arm rings 4 today is Aune +,
th
4 today is
March 8B
th
4 today is Aanuary C
th
4 today is %o"ember 8
nd
.
Chris ste$s out o' bed 4 he towe!s o'' 4 he grabs an i:od 'rom where they were a!! !ined
u$ abo"e his bed.4
Wait, !ait. 9ets stop here.
&hich one to $ic# today?
The i:ods were a gi't 'rom his 'ather. He owns thirteen and cant wait 'or the red one
that he wou!d get the u$coming Christmas.
Two more to com$!ete his co!!ection.
Chris $ic#s out a !ime green one today.
Huh. That !asnt in the rest of them. This, by the !ay, happens to be the very first tape.

8ast for!arding
Hi! Here to join me on the subway?
Great! You can sit right here.
My name? Im Chris.

That guy. Isnt he just the weirdest thing?

Hey !isten to this. I just !o"e this song. Here. Ta#e this ear$hone.
%o? &e!! i' you say so

nd yeah, thats it. 2ame routine for almost a year, and Ive been stuc" !atching. Its
soooo boring. There is a sad little change, though. Chris dad is dying # real soon. %aybe
tomorro!.
,uess !e can only !ait and see.

The a!arm rang.

(t C*12 today.
Chris is not going to schoo!.
Today is 0ctober 1+
st
. His 'athers condition is deteriorating ra$id!y and his 'ather wants
to see him.
(n e5cuse to get out o' c!ass? Great!
Chris showers and ta#es the hot red i:od today7 the !ast one he had gotten 'rom his
'ather. He !ea"es 'or the subway and $aying his 'are 'inds that the car is em$ty e5ce$t
'or him and a young man dressed cris$!y and bright!y.
The young man is ho!ding a scratch$ad and $en.
Chris !istens to TC- in $eace !ost in the harmonies and surges o' the music.
<ome time $asses and the subway reaches the correct sto$. (s Chris gets o'' so does
the com$oser. They are headed the same way toward the hos$ita!.
Together without e5changing a sing!e word they $ass through the g!ass doub!e doors.
Chris does not dare 6uestion how the com$oser is matching him ste$ 'or ste$ stride 'or
stride as he ma#es his way to his 'athers ward.
They are sti!! together when Chris reaches the door beyond which is his dying 'ather and
Chris wou!d swear he 'ee!s the com$oser enter the room just behind him .ste$ 'or ste$
stride 'or stride./
&hen he turns no one is there.
=<on!>
His 'ather ca!!s in a croa#y cheery "oice and bec#ons.
(s Chris comes o"er his 'ather says =I thin# Im going to die today. I ha"e no regrets
and Im sure I be ab!e to !ea"e g!ad!y but I just had to see you again son.>
Chris mere!y nods.
His 'ather e5ha!es so't!y. =Im ha$$y. You!! do 'ine son just 'ine with my brother. He!!
ta#e you in. (nd I!! get to see your mother again.
=@ut you #nowtheres one thing I sti!! need to do. <ongo to the $ost o''ice tomorrow.
Gi"e them your name. @e sure to do that o#ay?>
His 'athers "oice achie"ed a des$erate edge.
(gain Chris mere!y nods.

The a!arm rings. (s it a!ways does when it is set right at )*+,. Chris -unhey doesnt
es$ecia!!y care 'or setting his a!arm because schoo! starts at nine 'or him and his dad
wa#es him u$ most o' the time anyway .but not today/. Chris ne"er o"ers!ee$s.
Today is %o"ember +st. His birthday. He gets u$ and !a3i!y stretches but he must hurry i'
he wants to get to the $ost o''ice and ma#e it to schoo! on time.
His shower is shorter than usua!7 8, minutes. Chris dresses 6uic#!y and !ea"es without
brea#'ast 4 or an i:od.
The $ost o''ice is within wa!#ing distance. Chris jogs.
Chris reaches the door and $ushes it o$en. There is no !ine and at the 'ront des# he as#s
about =Chris -unhey?>
=&hat?> re$!ies the $osta! wor#er.
=Is there a !etter 'or Chris -unhey?>
=I do ha"e a !etter 'or Tom Chris -unhey. Is that what youre !oo#ing 'or? &e were
to!d to ho!d it unti! %o"ember +
st
4 thats today.>
What$
=%o its not 4 >
Come on, dude. Ta"e the letter. 9et me see !hats in it'
=(re you sure?>
=Dr hand it to me. I!! ta#e it.>
The !etter changes hands 4 there is a sma!! $ac#age that comes with it. <ure!y enough on
the en"e!o$e it says =Tom Chris -unhey.>He sits himse!' down and o$ens the !etter 'irst.
=Hi Tom! 0Tom$1
I' youre reading this I must ha"e a!ready died. :robab!y recent!y too!
<uc#s doesnt it? -ont worry 4 your unc!e is a 'riend!y guy. @ut more im$ortant than my
death ha$$y birthday Tom! 0Tom$1 In the $ac#age is the !ast co!or i:od you need to
com$!ete your co!!ection 4 ceru!ean i' I bought the right one.
0h o' course I say co!!ection but we both #now thats just our !itt!e jo#e. I"e bought a
di''erent co!or 'or you whene"er the occasion $resented itse!' whether Christmas or
your birthday or your eighth grade graduation. @ut its a!most 'unny how you #ee$ on
!osing them! How does one guy !ose that many? D"en the red one Id bought 'or you 4
gone within a wee#! Haha!>
What$ What the hec" is going on$ Chris didnt lose any i6ods.
Chris didnt understand. They were a!! !ined u$ 4
In a ro! #
0n to$ o' his bed.
=(h I remember when I bought you your 'irst one. You were a!ways ma#ing u$ these
songs. Id e"en thought they were rea! songs e5ce$t when I !oo#ed them u$ they werent
anywhere! (nd then I went EI ha"e a musica! genius 'or a son. &hoo;hoo! (nd how
better can I he!$ him than buy him his own m$1 $!ayer so he can get ins$iration? @ut o'
course you !ost it a!most immediate!y.>
WHT TH- H-99 I2 ,OI/, O/$ I H:- /O I.- WHT I2 ,OI/, O/'
=I want to ta!# to you a bit about your mom too Tom. I #now. I #now that youd been
torn u$ and twisted e"er since she died and I remember that shouting match youd had
with her be'ore her car accident. &hat I cou!dnt stand was how much it changed you.
You started hating yourse!' 4 I had to sto$ you 'rom #i!!ing yourse!' more than once and
Im not sure you remember. (nd when you wanted me to start ca!!ing you by your midd!e
name?
I had no idea what to do. I was ha!' about to ca!! a shrin# but I was scared he wou!d
change you e"en more. (!! I wanted was the o!d Tom bac# and I thought maybe i' I !et it
go time wou!d hea! a!! wounds and you wou!d 'orgi"e yourse!'.
Im sorry I cou!dnt !i"e !ong enough to see it. -arned sic#ness. @ut Tom $!ease dont
ta#e !i'e ha!';hearted!y any more. Your mom wou!d ha"e 'orgi"en you. I #now that.
:!ease dont wear such dar# c!othes anymore. You !oo# so sad. &ear the bright cris$
c!othes you used to wear. <tart writing music again. -ont #ee$ it a!! in your head 4 I can
see it I #now its hurting you I #now how much youre just dying to write it down. (nd
you cant !et your grie' sto$ you Tom.
I !o"e you. Your mom !o"es you. %o matter what ha$$ened be'ore. I #now it Im c!ose
enough to her now to #now it. Forgi"e yourse!' $!ease.
9i"e a !ong and ha$$y !i'e Tom Chris -unhey. &e wi!! a!ways be watching o"er you.
<incere!y
Your 'ather>
Chris was $anic#ing.
I !as panic"ing.
Chris tore o$en the $ac#age 4 a ceru!ean i:od. :re!oaded on it 4 +22 songs a!! by the
same artist.
TC-.
TC..
I do not believe this.
Chris ran 4 s$rinted 4 to the subway. To $ay the 'are. To get to schoo!. To see the hated
young man in the bright and cris$ c!othing scratching at his $a$er.
He is there but he is no !onger in bright and cris$ c!othing. He is in a rather raggedy
dar# out'it but no 4
.%/ IT, CH;I2' 7O<;- O/97 2T;I/, T 7O<; OW/ ;-89-CTIO/ I/
TH- WI/.OW' THT2 7O<' THT2 7O<' THT2 9W72 )--/ 7O<'
There was no one there. %o one but himse!' 4 and a teenager about his own age. He sits
down. His wor!d is s$inning.
Chris -unhey is bro#en.
(!! he has now is the music in his head wonder'u! wonder'u! music coming 'rom the
ear$hones connected to his i:od 4
&ait! Thats it!
He turns to the gir! ne5t to him and with 'a!se chi$$erness says =Hey! &anna !isten to
this awesome song on my i:od?>
<he screams. =Dw! Get away 'rom me you cree$!>
=Come on ta#e my i:od!>
=&H(T (GD Y0H T(9?I%G (@0HT? THDGD< %0THI%G THDGD! GDT (&(Y!>
Chris !oo#s down no, no, I loo" do!n at my hand. Theres nothing there. There is no i6od
there. What the lady said before # =Theres nothing there 'or me sonny.> Or that guy'
=<orry #id. I just dont see it.>
HHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
'

The gir! reaches her sto$ 'irst and understandab!y !ea"es 6uic#!y.
Ive lost my i6od already. ,reat.
Chris is !e't a!one. (!! he has is the music inside his head. (nd its not coming 'rom any
ear$hones.
Theres ten minutes before the sub!ay reaches the stop !here I have to get off.
Oh, ,od. %y hand is sha"ing. I need something, anything to do.
Wait, I have my bac"pac" here. With pens and pencils and everything.
Chris reaches into his bac#$ac# # no' /o, Im reaching into my bac"pac". %e' Tom' I
need to stop thin"ing of myself as Chris. I need to live life happy, li"e my dad as"ed me
to.
%y moms forgiven me. I have to believe that. I have to. I have to.
smile slo!ly crept up my face, because you "no! !hat$ I can.
I love you, %om. I love you, .ad. Than"s for all the i6ods, even though I lost them. Im
sorry for spending a year as Chris and not caring about either of you, not "no!ing either
of you. Can you forgive me$
7es, you can. 7ou said so yourself.
nd Ill live a long, full, and happy life to ma"e up for it.
%y smile is no! a full>fledged grin.
I pull out a scratchpad and pencil from my bac"pac". I dra! five lines over the !idth of
the scratchpad. I dra! my clef, pic" my time signature, pic" my "ey.
(nd the com$oser 6uiet!y scratches away.