Talk to the Doc

By
Arjan Sudick

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS OFFICE - DAY

DOCTOR KLINER, wearing glasses and holding a pad of paper,
sits in a chair next to his patient, OLIVER.
OLIVER
Doctor Kliner... I dont know... I
cant...
DOCTOR KLINER
Oliver... You can trust me. You can
tell me whats wrong! Thats why
you pay me as much you do!
OLIVER
Doctor... I... Oh all right... I...
I think Im crazy...
Oliver puts his hand to his mouth and cringes as he waits
for a response.
DOCTOR KLINER
... Okay. And?
OLIVER
And... Okay? Wait. You dont seem
very concerned.
DOCTOR KLINER
Im very concerned.
Doctor Kliner nods his head and stares at Oliver.
OLIVER
Youre just sitting their
nodding... I just told you I think
Im crazy!
DOCTOR KLINER
And I said, "And?" ... Do you see
things? Do you hear things? Are you
smearing excrement onto walls?
OLIVER
Well... No... I do not... see,
hear, or smear anything.
DOCTOR KLINER
Do you find yourself wandering the
streets late at night with an antic
disposition?

2.
OLIVER
No...
DOCTOR KLINER
Any form of amnesia?
OLIVER
I dont think so...
DOCTOR KLINER
You have any plans to kill anyone?
Your neighbor? The President?
Yourself?
Oliver raises an eyebrow.
OLIVER
...Why would I kill the President?
DOCTOR KLINER
I dont know... Maybe he slapped
you in public, stole your cat,
tracked mud into your spaceship.
OLIVER
... I dont have a cat... or a
spaceship.
DOCTOR KLINER
Hmmm. You sound pretty sane to me.
Oliver sits up.
OLIVER
But I just can feel it! I just...
know it. Like its always lurking
in the back of my mind.
DOCTOR KLINER
(concerned)
Hmmm...You ever have moments of
self doubt? Lack of confidence, or
motivation? Irratibility?
OLIVER
Yes! Yes!
DOCTOR KLINER
Oh dear... I thought so...
OLIVER
(scared)
What do I have? Tell me!

3.
DOCTOR KLINER
Oliver. Come closer. Yeah yeah.
Come here.
Oliver leans in close to Doctor Kliner.
Doctor Kliner raises his eyebrows.
DOCTOR KLINER (CONTD)
Youre just like everyone else...
Crazy.
Olivers eyes grow wide.
OLIVER
I knew it!
DOCTOR KLINER
No, no. Not like that. I mean
everyones got the same damn
problems as you. You arent crazy.
Youre just human.
OLIVER
Oh...
Oliver ponders for a moment.
DOCTOR KLINER
That make you feel any better?
THE CAMERA IS ON A MEDIUM OF OLIVER.
OLIVER
You know what? It kinda does... I
think you put my mind at ease!
THE CAMERA MOVES TO SHOW THE CHAIR next to Oliver is empty
except for a pair of glasses and notepad.
Oliver gets up and sits in the chair. He puts on the glasses
and picks up the notepad.
OLIVER (CONTD)
Well, I do what I can, Oliver.
Oliver gets up, and puts down the glasses and notepad. He
sits back down into the patients chair.
OLIVER (CONTD)
I cant thank you enough, Doctor
Kliner.
Oliver jumps back into the doctors chair.

4.

OLIVER (CONTD)
Just remember! Youre only human!
Oliver returns to the patients chair. He gets up from the
chair and shakes an imaginary hand where the doctor would
be.
OLIVER
I will. Thanks again, Doctor.
Oliver heads out the door of the office.
The room is empty.
Oliver walks back in and sits in the doctors chair. He puts
on the glasses and picks up the notepad.
He crosses his legs and starts to scribble on the pad.
DOCTOR KLINER
What a nut job...