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Question: 196 Poor students or students who come from rural areas often

find it is difficult to get access to the university education, so some people


think universities should make it easier for them to study at. To what
extent do you agree or disagree?

In China, students should be pay for their university tuition by


themselves, the amount of which is usually paid by their family.
Therefore, some argues that universities should provide some discount or
other benefit policies for these students. However, from the point of my
view, this argument is not reasonable and I am not convinced by it.

First of all, collusion may occur if the university establishes a special


benefit policy for poor students, as no one to supervise the
implementation of the policy and no one can ensure the policy is fair and
open enough. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of the government to
solve this problem rather university to deal with it privately. Second,
going to university is not the only choice for poor teenagers in their life. If
their family cannot afford such high tuition, they could choose to work
and support themselves. Actually, a recent survey shows that, the
starting salary of those who did not go to university is not lower that
those who did.

However, some are fell pity for these poor students with talent on some
academic field and state that these students could make much
contribution to society if they could have further education in university.
Whereas, for talent students, many schools already have the scholarship
for them and it could release the financial pressure on these talent
students. Besides, there are so many examples to approve that the
special policy for the poor it not necessary, because poor students could
choose to work first and accumulate enough money then go to university
to fulfill themselves on academic knowledge.

In conclusion, establish release policy for poor students from universities


is not the only way or the suitable way to support them to go further on
university studies. Besides, these students still could have a good life if
they choose to work or go to university later.

Band5.5-: TR5.0+ CC 5.0 LR 5.5 -GRA 5.0The argument has little logical progression while there is some good use of linking expressions. But I
think some of the supporting examples may underdeveloped and divert the reader away from the
argument.
However, the main points are relevant and the writers point of view is generally clear. In the first
paragraph, you should learn to show your own opinion. In the last paragraph, concise sentence to show
the opinion is necessary.
You tries to use a range of language, but there are some regular errors in word choice and word form,
and this occasionally causes problems for the reader. Similarly, a range of structures are attempted, but
not always with good control if punctuation or grammar.