Samantha Souza

Meli Zinberg
Pilates: The Mat
Spring 2010
Pilates Journal
Monday, June 7th- First Class
As I was mentally preparing for my first Pilates class, I
thought I might have a petite leg-up, having been an avid yoga
devotee for some time. However, I quickly came to realize during
this first class that yoga and Pilates really have very little to do
with each other. I came to find this through both the explanations
from Meli, and from the exercises themselves. The most telling
indication that Pilates and Yoga are not really significantly similar
are the way they make my body feel afterwards. While both made
me feel energized, Yoga left me sweaty and panting, whereas I
felt like I got the same amount of work in the Pilates class, with
about half of the effort. This may have to do with the fact that a
majority of the Pilates mat work is on the floor, but I think, more
exactly, it is because it is generally a more efficient practice. In

my Alexander Technique class, the focus is to use ones body in

the most efficient way possible. I find that I prefer Pilates to yoga
for this reason. I feel like I am being more efficient in my
movements.

As a musical theater performer, I have been in dance

class for half of my life. I find that Pilates is extremely similar to
the exercises I would do on the floor during dance warm-ups. In
fact, I wouldnt be surprised if my dance teacher is an avid Pilates
disciple, because the similarity are far too similar to be on
accident. I look forward to seeing what I learn in this Pilates class,
both physically and maybe mentally. I found that the class was
very relaxing and put me in a good mood after. I hope that I will
continue to see the benefits of the class, and I look forward to
reading the suggested reading books to learn even more about
the practice of Pilates.

Wednesday, June 9th Second Class

We talked about the idea of the powerhouse. Its basically
the group of muscles in the abdomen, connected to the glutes
and lower back. Ive commonly heard of this group of muscles as
the core in the past. Bodies in Motion suggests that many
people avoid using this part of the body to start any movement,
which causes injury and stress on the body. Pilates has taught me
that I need to focus on my core before initiating any movement. I
find that by incorporating my core more before and during each
exercise, I get a lot more out of the exercises, and I really feel it
the next day.
I want to avoid the common pitfalls that are associated with
Pilates. As a dancer, I am usually trying to tuck my pelvis under
itself. That is how I was trained! Now I have to unlearn that. Its
not hard, but it is weird. I know that there are times when Im
supposed to keep my back completely on the ground, and it
results in tilting my pelvis under. I know that it is a delicate
balance. I dont want to eventually flatten the natural curve of my

spine. There are other times when I cannot grip with my core, so
then my back tightens and gets the back-version of a Charlie
horse. I must focus on lengthening my spine along my mat and
concentrate on isolating my abs muscles while maintaining the
natural position of my pelvis. I can use what Ive learned in
Alexander Technique about how to lengthen my spine naturally
by delicately balancing it on the top of my head/neck. Im trying
to use the idea of imagining my head balancing delicately at the
top of my spine, and connecting down vertebrae by vertebrae. I
dont do well with more complex images than that, and I do find
that the Alexander terms help with my Pilates immensely. I am
slowly but surely training myself to coach myself, and my body,
to do each movement as effectively and correctly as possible
using the images and directions I have learned and created.

Monday, June 14th Third Class

As I begin to delve into Bodies in Motion, I am
fascinated by the idea of defining what Pilates actually is. Is it an
exercise program? Is it a strengthening program? Is it physical
therapy? Is it a mind/body exercise? Can it be all of these things,
and maybe more? In the book Bodies in Motion, Pilates is credited
as being an art form. While I dont disagree with that, I dont
honestly agree with it, either. I do agree that it must be worked to
perfection on a daily basis. While it may be all of these things, it
is simultaneous none of them singularly. Pilates, I believe, is more
how one experiences and utilizes it; that is where the definition
comes from. There is no wrong or right answer. It is
simultaneously all of the above and none of the above, if that is
how you, yourself, see it. I look forward to establishing my own
personal definition for what pilates means and is to me.

I admire Joseph Pilates attempt to create a unique system

where his student could no longer suffer from physical limitations.
It amazes me that someone can set out to do something of such
a simple, yet powerful nature, and now, people all over the word
are avid followers of his practice and invention. I find that
absolutely remarkable. I had no idea that Pilates was created for
such an altruistic reason. I find that I respect it so much more
now, and value it on a much deeper level. In performing arts
conservatory, we used to do something called the floor barre, and
it is remarkably similar to Pilates. In fact, the dance director of
our school claimed to have used floor barre as a means of
physical therapy when he couldnt walk due to an injury. It makes
sense then that Pilates was originally created as a means of
exercise for those with physical limitations.

Wednesday, June 16th Fourth Class

I must admit, I am still confused by the idea of the long box
and short box exercises that are talked about in class. I am
curious to see what it is light to work on a Pilates Reformer
machine, but I also like using 100% of my own body, no
machines, no pullies, just all me. I like that aspect to doing Pilates
on a mat.

Bodies in Motion talks about lateral breathing, which I have

never heard of before, at least, not that terminology. Joseph
Pilates was, apparently, suffering from asthma his whole life, and
so he would focus primarily on breathing. He advocated
inhalations that filled the lungs entirely and exhalations that
empties the lungs to the very bottom, cleansing the bloodstream,

and purifying the body of toxins. Joseph Pilates incorporated this

technique of breathing to his practice, and called it lateral
breathing. I didnt realize, until Bodies in Motion explained it, that
women are apical/upper chest breathers, which means that the
shoulders are elevating the shoulders and the upper body with
each breath.

I feel like, as a singer, I have more diaphragmatic breath,

but apparently that is primarily where men breathe. Its all very
fascinating. I try to practice lateral breathing during Pilates, and
expand my ribs sideways, but I find that I am more focused on
my alignment, body, etc. Its hard to do while simultaneously
tring to keep my upper body aligned and relaxed.

Monday, June 21st Fifth Class

Joseph Pilates wrote above alllearn to breathe correctly.
Bodies in Motion explains that correct breathing oxygenates the
bloos and increases circulation. It is important, especially in
Pilates, to have a structured breathing technique. It is an
essential and effective tool that is meant to enhance and ease
ones movements. I am not sure how aware of my breath I am
when I am doing my Pilates workouts. I think, because of my
extensive time doing yoga, I have a naturally effective breathing
system, but Im not sure. I should pay more attention to my
breathing when I do Pilates. There is always room for
improvement!

I try to have extensive concentration when I do my Pilates

workout, but it is hard to negotiate where my concentration
should go at any given moment. It is almost like driving. I have to
make sure my foot has the proper pressure on the gas, while
looking in front of me, making sure my hands are on the right
place on the steering wheel to steer, plus looking in my side
mirror, and my rear view mirror, plus making sure that I am
obeying all the laws and signs. Its a lot of work and
concentration on multiple things just to get form point A to point
B! I feel like Pilates is similar in that way. I cannot let my mind
wander, and I do admit it does tend to do that a lot. I will be
thinking about my day at work, or my boyfriend, or my other
homework that needs to get done, or my laundry. It sneaks into
my brain. It used to happen to me all the time during Yoga. I
would try to keep my mind clear, look out of my third eye, etc,
and all the sudden, my laundry list would pop into my head, or
the jingle from the Tide commercial will pop into my head. Its
funny, but I wonder how much it deters form my Pilates practice. I
will try harder to make sure I am completely focused. I need to

come up with a way to shoo away those pointless thoughts

when I should be concentrating!

Wednesday, June 23rd Sixth Class

Ive honestly stopped knowing what to say in these journal
entries. After a while, Pilates starts to feel like Im making less
and less discoveries for myself as we go along. I hope that this is
not the case! Im sure its not, but the journal is getting tiring. I
feel pressure to say certain things that will take up two pages,
and I never seem able to do it! I know I will get a second wind,
hopefully before next class! Anyway, here we go

This week I am trying to focus on lengthening, in general.

My spine, my neck, my legs, my arms, my torso. Everything
lengthening. You hear the words all the time in dance: Taller,
taller!. But is it even really possible to make yourself taller? No.
However, we are so crunched down as a society, it is easy to
forget to be upright, at our full length. Stress, among other
things, gradually makes us crunch our torsos, backs, etc down so
we arent at our full lengthening potential. I am trying to focus on
creating the most distance between my sit bones and my neck.
Hopefully this will simultaneously elongate my neck, chest, and
torso. I want to decompress my vertebrae so there is less
pressure on them. I hope that not only will this make me look
lengthened and taller in the short term, but that my body will
commit the movement to memory, and improve my posture and
alignment over time for years to come. Its hard to not lock my
arms and legs, or to engage them, when trying to lengthen.
Sometimes I find myself tensing up my upper thigh muscles when
trying to do something, and it hurts, and isnt good for me in the
long run! I am already hyper-extended so I have a lot to be
mindful of when using my body in this manner. I know that over

extension will weaken my muscles over time, and who wants

that? Not me!

Monday, June 28th Seventh Class

I have a hard time not gripping my toes, legs, everything! I
find that I am always gripping something, but I am getting better
at releasing that tension. When I am told to point my feet, I over
point I guess. I have very flexible feet that I have been praised
for in ballet, because my lines are very clean. However, it

creates unnecessary tension in my feet, and I have learned,

slowly but surely, to release that tension, while maintaining a
loose point. I also have issues with my knocked knees. It has
been getting better with each class, but I still have to be super
mindful of what I am doing.

I didnt realize how much memorization was such a huge

part of Pilates, but it really does help me to utilize my body in the
best way, with the most efficiency, during each class, instead of
just plowing right through it. I think I have it down though, that
when the instructor gives the instructions, I know exactly what
she is talking about, and can do it without her showing me how.
This is important.

However I do believe that I need to get better with utilizing

the transitions between each exercise. During each break
between each exercise, I tend to go back to my old ways of
sitting, and behaving with my body. Im sure that if we just
plowed right through, it might be easier than starting and
stopping in the long run, while stopping and starting is easier as

far as difficulty is concerned because it is a nice little break! I

enjoy coming to Pilates so much. I dont really think of it as a
workout, I just think of it asPilates! Its funny because that is
what the book says to do in order to stay motivated, and that
makes me feel like I am on the right track. I know regular practice
is crucial in the world of Pilates, and I plan on maintaining my
progress and continuing on with the practice.

Wednesday, June 30th Eighth Class

Today was an exciting day, and Im not sure whether
or not it informed my Pilates or not. Landed a big deal with a
producer for my YouTube show, which was exciting, but also

stressful because now the real work begins. I think I was stressed
out coming into class. I really appreciate the very personal,
individual attention in this class. I know Ive said it before, but I
really feel like it not only makes a difference in my technique
(obviously), but it also gives me a mental and emotional boost. I
feel like when the instructor takes the time to really place her
attention on my personal body issues, such as my knocked
knees, or hyper-extended legs, that Im really getting the most
out of the class. It is also informing my everyday life, from the
way I stand, to the way I walk down the street. Ive become more
aware of how to use my body. I suppose that was the original
purpose of Pilates, anyhow, to retrain people how to use their
bodies. I find it interesting that while there is technically nothing
wrong with my body, my minor issues do tend to affect it in a
subliminal, yet significant way.

I love that Pilates is connected to dance. I always feel like

Im in a dance class while doing Pilates, and it makes me happy
since I havent had the time to take dance class in almost a year.
While reading Bodies In Motion, I learned that Pilates went to the

United States from Germany and taught his technique to the

dance and theater people of New York City. And, so many, many
years later, here I am, in New York City, a working actor,
practicing Pilates. It feels kind of Kismet in a way, probably much
more than it should, but it reminds me that Im just a speck of
dust in this large circle of life. It is unbelievable to me that Pilates
is one of the most successful, and readily available, and routinely
practiced exercises in the country, even more that 40 years after
his death. People all over the country, even in small town middle
America, have Pilates Reformers in their homes. I cannot imagine
how proud he is looking down on the world, and seeing how he
has revolutionized how people use their bodies.

Wednesday, July 7th Ninth Class

I hated that I had to miss class today. I woke up feeling

really nauseous all morning due to my monthly gift, and called
out of work. This happens to me every other month, due to my
stupid overactive right ovary. It is as if one of my ovaries is Bruce
Banner and the other is the Incredible Hulk. Sure enough, my
breakfast came back up to haunt me, literally. But I had two
classes that night. What to do?! I was annoyed that I still had to
go to my Alexander Technique class because I had to turn in my
mid-term paper, or else I would get docked a whole letter grade.
It ended up being fine, because I just turned in the paper, and
left, but I felt awful. I really missed my Pilates this week, funnily
enough. It was weird not having it on Monday, and then missing it
on Wednesday put a whole funk in my week. I feel more sluggish,
and not quite myself. I really do miss it. My body can tell the
difference. I feel tighter, more confident. It might just all be in my
head, but even if it is, I dont really care.

I appreciate the mental confidence and the clarity Pilates

brings to my head. Im trying to think really hard about how I can
honestly maintain having Pilates in my life without this class. I

mean, I could tell myself that I will join a Pilates studio, and
commit to going, but who knows if I will really do that. I initially
wanted to take this class not only because I have wanted to
dabble into Pilates for a long time, but because I knew I would go.
It is a CLASS, going toward my DEGREE. So the fact that I couldnt
go really makes me disappointed and angry. I know it was out of
my control, and I was in so much pain, I couldnt have gotten
anything out of the class.

Monday, July 12th Tenth Class

Today we learned about the shoulder blade, and the
shoulder girdle. It is interesting because we just went over this in
my Alexander class. It is fun to see how often the classes overlap.
It is quite rewarding for me, and because the classes seem to sort
of go hand in hand, I feel like one is enhancing the other.
Therefore, I am getting the most out of the semester, and I am
grateful for that. I am not ready to let this class go. I hope that
there are private classes that I can take with Meli, because I
really appreciate her approach.

According to Bodies in Motion, the shoulder blades are two

free-floating triangles that migrate downward and inward toward
the spine. I have to focus on opening my chest as I press my
scapulae down and back. I have to remind myself to imagine that
my back is pinned back to the floor when I am in exercises where

I am off the mat. I have trouble with a neutral spine. When I think
I am straight upright, I am told that I am either too far back or
forward. It is frustrating. Apparently, a neutral spine is defined as
the place where my spine rests while maintaining all of its natural
curvature. It is easy to achieve when standing upright, but a lot
harder when on the mat, or in an exercise where I am sitting with
my legs in front of me. I have to always be very mindful of what I
am doing. Always using my core, always making sure my feet and
legs arent turned in, always making sure that I am aligned
properly, always making sure that I am right on top of my sit
bones, etc. Its a lot to be on top of and tailor! After so many
classes though, I am beginning to be able to tell when I am
utilizing the proper alignment and when Im not.

Wednesday, July 14th Eleventh Class

Im finding that my flexibility is getting greater and greater
with every class. I appreciate learning about my anatomy, and
applying it to the exercises. There are times where I push myself
beyond my threshold. I think Ive reached my physical flexibility
peek, but then I challenge myself, and I can usually handle it.
However, there is the concept of not going passed the threshold
in Pilates, which is new for me. Usually, when I used to work out
with my trainer at a gym, we push beyond the threshold to
achieve the most from the workout. However, I find that the
second I go passed my threshold, I cannot do the exercise
properly, and I know that cannot be using my body correctly and
efficiently that way. So, I know that there is a delicate balance
between knowing that I can always work harder, and deciding

when I am at a point where I cant do the exercise properly

anymore.

I wish there as a way to join a Pilates studio, and really

guarantee that Id go, besides the guilt that Ive paid for it. I tend
to have really good self-disciplinary skills, but there really is just
no sure fire way. The more I write in this journal entry for today,
the more I feel like Im rambling. Im the type of person that once
I commit to doing something, I do it, full out, and no one can get
in my way. I committed to being a vegan for 10 months of my life.
The second I cheated and had cheese ONCE, I suddenly starting
having cheese more and more, here and there. Now its like I
have it three times a week, which is crazy!!! If I give myself just a
little leeway, its over. If Im strict, I can go all the way,
indefinitely. There was also a time where I went to yoga four
times a week. Then I slowly started to only make it to three
classes, then two, until I juststopped going. While it is true that
life does get in the way, and I shouldnt beat myself up too much,
I cant help but wonder if I really couldve made the time, if I
really wanted to. I hope I can commit to Pilates after this class,

because it has really become a great addition to my life and

routine this summer.