Chapter 2: The Aftermath

After seeing such a show off of blood, and human destruction, and
obliteration, you could imagine, my blank expression. My eyes were as that
mens eyes were like when he took his final look at that cube, completely
lost, without shine, without motivation, without life. My eyes, they were
dead, completely and totally dead. They eyes were still wide opened, and my
pupils were as still as big as a cats. A traumatic expression would be getting
me short at words to describe the terrific and devastating expression that I
had on my face. I was totally blown off, in my mind, no toughs, in my eyes no
light, in my mouth no noticeable emotion. My lips were as closed as you
would expect from a human being, and they were expressing no feelings at
all, I couldnt even move them from the surprise. I stood there, totally quiet
and unmoving, I didnt even blink. My body had no force, totally devastated,
no life seemed noticeable whatsoever inside myself, I could not even catch a
breath, totally destroyed inside, I was in there, I was sure that I wouldnt
even be able to crack a sincere smile after seeing just what has happened
right in front of my eyes. And to add more worseness to my standing,
unmoving, un-expressing figure, I was full of blood, splashed around my body
there was blood and more blood. My shirt, my pants, my face, all was
splashed in blood. I was totally red, dark red, the red of blood; it seemed like
if I was made out of that color. So much have sprayed over my face, even
more than you would see around your life if you worked in a blood bank, I
was there, the mess that I was after contemplating dead right in front of my
eyes. But the blood is a liquid and so, it was falling off of me, slowly dripping
to the floor and just leaving some of its remnants in me. And the blood that
had been sprayed at my face now was falling inside my mouth, and since I
couldnt even move, I had the metallic taste of blood in my mouth, blood
running inside it continuously, it was so gross. I stayed there, feeling like that
for around fifteen minutes, couldnt move, couldnt blink, and could hardly
even breathe. It was such a depressive state, I was completely destroyed
inside, so broken that I felt like I couldnt possibly feel more than anger, grief
and sadness all around my common day to day life. Always remembering
that day in which I saw the thing that I feared the most, and always tried to
escape form, death. Seeing death is never a pleasant experience for no one
aside form psychopaths or ordered killers, but I was none of those, and
seeing it in such a way was the worst that could actually happen to me.
Since I remember I had been trying to escape the concept of death in any
way possible, I even censured my friends of even referring to it when they
were around me, always saying that I was just really sensible when I was

nothing more than a coward scared to face living beings certain and
inescapable fate. I mean, yeah, any normal human being would have felt
really bad and nauseous after seeing such scene, but myself, a coward
pathetic scapegoat of death, seeing that, just caused me a trauma that even
thorns me to pieces nowadays. But I slowly regained my consciousness,
which was even worse than before.
When I started reacting, and snapping out of that trauma state, I started
breathing hard and quickly, it was, of course, a sign of desperation. Then I
putted my hands on the sides of the window and leaned over it, still
breathing hard. So, slowly, really slowly my body was coming back to life, I
kept the hands in there and breathed hard for around ten minutes, and I
finally snapped out of it. So, I slowly retired the hand form the sides of the
window, and in apparently slow motion I neared them to my face while they
were trembling. I kept breathing hard, and then I finally made my hands
reach near to my face. And the, I proceeded to cover my eyes with my hands
and lean my face over in them, seeming like I was being absorbed by those
hands. I strongly pressured my face against both of my hands, and I stayed
like that for around a minute or two. After that short period of time had
passed, a liquid, warm, light, substance started to flow out of my eyes. It
started by wetting the cornea of my eye. And then, after my eyes held the
substance long enough to get themselves to get a little uncomfortable and
burnt in their bottom. The substance coming from my eyes was too much for
my eye to hold it inside itself, and so, it poured out. After that, it started
falling to my hands that were covering making them all wet, slowly but
surely my hands were completely soaked in tears that were coming out
because of a terrible view. I cried and cried and cried, without apparent end, I
had completely lost it, it was too much of a terrible for me to take that blow. I
kept up crying until it seemed like my eyes werent able to fabricate more,
and after that, I lowered my hand in slow motion again while they were still
trembling. When they reached the sides of my hips, they were still trembling,
and I clenched those making fists with both of my hands, and then I started
to scream desperately, like there was absolutely no tomorrow. My screams
were screams of fear, as you would expect I was terribly scared, I screamed
high pitched, really high pitched until I was totally out of breath, and I
breathed again. I repeated this action around some 7 times more, until my
voice seemed broken. And then I started screaming again, in desperation,
waiting for someone to save me from that deep apparently inescapable
depression and traumatic aftermath, waiting for someone to save me just in
time, waiting for my own personal hero. But I knew they were no such things,

and if there was indeed a person who offered himself/herself to be the

leaning shoulder to cry on, and to be the person that would hear you out, the
ones who received the offer were woman normally. No one would care about
a cry baby male teenager with lets say not the best looks, that always tried
to escape from death like a coward that he was. I knew thinking about the
obvious no awareness of my existence, wouldnt help me to get through
what I was passing, but hell, what could I do in such a state? I couldnt even
move my finger without it trembling, how could I have stopped such
thoughts for coming to my mind?
But then, a voice calling from downstairs remembered me that I did have a
shoulder to lean on, they were not girls but when I thought about it more
deeply I had two shoulders to lean on when trouble came my was, those
were, my older brother and my best friend. In this case, the voice coming
from downstairs was obviously my brothers, when I heard that voice I got to
accept that it helped me go back to my senses. It like an angels voice calling
for me, it made me smile, knowing that I had someone beside me, someone
to lean on, someone to believe on, someone to smile for. The voice said:
hey bro, you ok?
Then I replied him back with a relieved tone on my voice, but still a little post
trauma sadness and felling of being completely powerless over someones
sad violent death, which would be notified as a random accident in the news,
feeling to it: yes BroIm fineDont worry about that. I said that while I
was thinking inside my head: I cannot let him know about such a terrible
incident, he would go nuts with it; I had to keep a secret no matter what,
regardless of what I felt, forHis sake.
Then he answered me back with doubts in his voice: are you really sure
about that bro?
To which I replied with still a very unconvincing tone: yeah, Im sure, so
dont go on worrying about me and keep up sleeping like you were minutes
ago, sorry about bothering you, brother.
And the he said: bro, you cant fool me that easily, you know I aint no fool
To which I replied: no, seriously bro, Im fine, dont worry about me and go
back to sleep.
Then he answered with a little rage in his voice: I know thats not the truth,
bro, I heard that screaming and crying of yours, I cant believe youre fine
after hearing that, Im worried about you, bro.

Then I said: I said, dont worry, sheesh, youre so stubborn, I was just acting
it up, you know I love to act.
Then he answered back: But its impossible to act that way, those screams I
heard were so realistic, it takes being one of the best actors on the world to
pull that one off,
And I answered: well, maybe I am one of the worlds best actors
But still unconvinced and now with anger in his voice, he said: I know youre
covering something up bro, and Im going to discover just what is it, youre
always humble when it comes to acting, you wouldnt presume of yourself
being one of the best actors of the world like out of nowhere.
Then I thought: well he did indeed make his point there: sorry bro, Im just
busy with something, you dont have to worry about it, Im totally fine.
Then he said: I am not buying that crap Come on, dont lie to me, dont you
trust me? Im here to protect you
As he said that I felt my heart about to melt, but I had to deny it someway, I
didnt want him to put up himself at the trouble of finding one of those posttrauma psychological centers (which I actually really did need) and putting
me there. Nor did I want him to be the comforting brother type for the rest of
my life: please, please dont come brother, I beg of you, just leave it be.
And then he said: oh no, I will not, dont give me that shit, Im coming to
the room in which you are, right now you little moronic brat, how you dare to
deceive your brother who wants to protect you?
When he told me that, you would understand why I was about to suffer a
panic attack, I didnt know what more to do so I instantly locked the door.
Then, I realized, that I couldnt just simply leave it like that, when he found
out that I had locked myself up in that room he would be more worried and
angry, and he would bring his key that opened every room on the house,
even this weird one. So, I was in bloodstained clothes, trapped in a weird
room, and I couldnt change myself since there werent any clothes there,
what a sticky situation. So what else could I do? I had to go out and quickly
reach for my room without him noticing it and before he actually got
upstairs, since his room was downstairs. So, I had no more time to think, I
rapidly unlocked the door, opened it, and ran like there was a gigantic ball
falling beside me, towards my room. And when I finally reached the door of
my room (I make the way seem long but it actually just took me around

twenty second to make it there) I hurriedly opened the door, and locked it
beside me. Just a second after I had closed the door and thought about
changing before he actually brought the key, I heard some knocks at the
door. Of course I didnt even bother in attending the door knocking, it was
obviously my brother, and even if it was anyone else I wouldnt have
received them anyways. I heard an incessant knocking from my brothers
side for about three minutes, which I didnt wasted, and used them to get
myself naked, and prepared to dress out in other thing. The knocking kept up
bothering me until I had already found the pajamas that I was going to wear
to cover this whole mess up. Then, I heard that the knocking sound stopped,
and so I knew I had to be extremely fast so my brother wouldnt see me
sprayed with blood. And I could fake an excuse for being closed up in my
room instead of having to explain the whole deal, which would be a lot more
difficult to explain and which would only lead to an unhappy, awkward
situation between the of us. So I dressed up with fast movements, I was so
desperate that I even hit my leg with my bed but I had to ignore the pain to
keep dressing myself up quickly. Then, I started making up a plan about what
should I do with the bloodstained clothes. In lack of more time, I quickly
thought about dropping them to the street, and so I did, after all there was
no more solutions to that problem, now where they? I would pick them up
before my brother woke up, since I really doubted that I would be sleeping
thigh that night. So, after all that happened in less than three minutes, I
started to hear my brother trying to open the door to my room in the middle
of his probable desperation, and feeling of not being able to do anything.
After a while of trying to force his way in, he finally was able to do it, and
then I saw him, my beautiful older brother. He looked a little worn out
probably because all that running he had to do. I saw, his shimmering and
silky brown hair that reached to his face and made one of his eyes a little but
not completely covered by it, and that was kind of long; it reached the
bottom of his neck after all. It was a little messy had he been woken up so
early and suddenly from his sleep been the cause of it. I saw his beautiful
brown eyes; they were full of life and enthusiasm pretty unlike mine, I guess
the saying: the eyes are a window to the soul is real, because thats
exactly how he is in real life. So shiny, so deep those eyes were, to the point
it was a little frightening yet addictive to look at them. His medium sized
nose that looked great in ensemble with the rest of his face. His lips,
naturally pink and a little red in their own way, they were thing, but yet there
was enough space to put a kiss on them (dont misjudge me hes my brother,
I would never do that to him, its just and strategy for correctly describing
him). His chin, that aside from his delicate woman like features and his

smooth skin made him seem really manly, lets say it ended the face in a
rough way, since it was barely even curved, but it still went well with the rest
of the face. And I have nothing more to say about his looks when it came to
the body; aside from: hes a really well built sexy bastard (again I mean no
immorality against the institution of family). The expression he was wearing
in his face, made me a little worried, his beautiful eyes in this case were
bloodshot red, probably because I had woken him up to early in the morning.
And they also wore an expression that made it clear that he was mad at me
for not trusting in him at all. His eyebrows were tilted diagonally towards his
eyes, but it wasnt some little tilt, it was an exaggerated tilt if you get what
Im meaning. His lips were totally shut, and they were a little inclined down.
It was an expression that I had only seen in him three times: when his first
girlfriend (a real whore) cheated on him for the first time, when my
grandparents died both in an accident in which their house burned down,
and when mom and dad neglected both of us to live without them because
of a supposed business trip to Japan. So it was a no, no good, I figured I had
no way out of his anger, he was really mad, I could even say he had totally
lost it, that expression gave me enough proof of it.
He told me when he was able to enter: hey, why did you hide from me you
little brat?!
Then I answered him back: brother, just go away, I dont want to cause you
any trouble.
Then he told me: you want me to go away?! You idiotic brother, you sure are
foul mouthed, how do you dare?! Heres the thing, or you tell me what
happened or I smash you with the wall! You know I aint lying, Im not lying.
And then I answered: can you be a little more considerate here brother? I
just went through a love confession rejection, and I thought it would be a
good idea to try acting with the sadness feeling inside, and so I did, and it
went out naturally.
Then he said: wow bro, sorry, I didnt know you went through such a thing,
you know bro, and Im here to support you. And well, you know, by the way
you reacted I thought that you were in something fishy and that was your
reaction because you were already fed up with it, but you couldnt get out of
the vicious cycle. You know, something like drugs.
Then I said back: Ok, bro, its ok, dont worry about that, Im fine

And so, to convince him, even though it took me a lot of effort and gulping
down my feelings, I flashed a radiant smile, the most radiant smile I could
have made at such a depressive state. Thanks to that smile tough I came to
realize that I would never be able to smile the way I used to be, making all
the smiles that seemed like the past me would always be a lie, then he told
me: ok, bro, so if you got it so rough about that rejection, I guess you really
must have liked that girl, so, bro, why dont we avoid our responsibilities
tomorrow and, you know, spend all day going around town?
To which I answered: really? Would you go with me?
And he said: yeah, sure, so sleep tight, tomorrows gonna be a moved and
exciting day after all
Then I said: Really, thank you bro
And so he replied: No problem, little one, lets enjoy tomorrow, and forget
all that hinders us in our day to day life And then, he flashed a beautiful
smile, that made me want to hug him, but I had to hold back.
So I followed with a: yeah, let tomorrow be a dream day, good night.
And he simply replied: night.
I knew I would never forget, but that tomorrow would have a great effect in
me, but I would never be the same stupid teenager anymore, thats the time
when change started to occur inside me.