Junelle B.

Barcena
2012-31465

When Jessica Villafuerte came to in the morning, she had a pounding headache. She didnt
move yet, but she allowed her mind to work, trying to piece together what may have happened
the previous night. Lets see it was the same bar, no it was different definitely a different bar.
There was definitely drinking. There was definitely dancing. And there was definitely a guy a
guy! She realized with a jolt.
Suddenly she remembered that she wasnt in her own bed, although at that point, it was hardly
surprising to her anymore. She groped the other side of the bed expecting Pancho no, Paolo
there, but he wasnt. So hes one of those fuck-and-run guys, she thought to herself. Ah well,
so am I.
She got up and wrapped Paolos (or it couldve been Piolos) blanket around her nakedness
and started scanning the room for her clothes. She can see her blouse on the bedside table and
her pants on the floor. She picked them up before ravaging the bedcovers for her underwear.
When she was fully clothed, she hurried out of the motel without checking the room to make
sure whether or not Paolo was around.
Intending to find her way back to her condo, she grabbed a cup of coffee from a shop she
passed looking for the nearest MRT station, at the same time racking her brains and trying to
remember where she was. She had barely walked three blocks from the shop when she saw the
rail tracks. She scanned the line left and right and sure enough, there was the nearest station,
about five blocks over.

Twenty minutes later, she stood in the transit trying not to bump into anyone in the sea of
commuters during the morning rush hour. There were still two stations before she had to get off.
She realized that Pancho (he was definitely called Pancho) had taken her quite far from the bar
they came from last night. She tried to piece together exactly what happened
She was staring at the magnificent backside of an individual some ten feet in front of her. She
couldnt take her eyes off it, bouncing to the beat of the deafening music as its owner danced
provocatively. She was resisting the urge to actually come up to the owner and slap her butt
when the bartender handed her a drink she didnt order.
Compliments of that guy, he said, pointing his lips to someone further down the counter.
She looked in that direction and discovered a tall, averagely attractive guy holding his drink up
to her and grinning, his unnaturally prominent canines exposed. He had wavy hair and girlishly
long eyelashes that could be spotted from miles around, nevertheless, she gulped half the drink
the bartender gave her (If I could only drown in alcohol, she thought hopefully) and winked
back, raising her drink as a symbol of thanks. He sidled over still wearing a dimpled smile and
stood right in front of her, blocking her view of Ms. Awesome-Ass who was
Im Pancho, he said, and his dimples went even deeper. Can I know your name?
Jessie, she said in the most sensuous tone she could force out of herself.
Ive never seen you here before, he said, drawing just a little bit closer, crossing his arms
so his muscles flexed. She could smell his expensive cologne which was subtle enough, but
resisted the urge to gag all the same, with great difficulty. She finished her drink before
answering.
Its my first time here, she said, discreetly throwing her chest out so he wouldnt miss it.
She saw his eyes flit downward for just a fraction of a second.

Would you like me to show you around? he said. There was something else registering in
his face, apart from the apparent interest in her. It was as if his canines had grown sharper. This
forcefully reminded Jessica of an alpha male in a wolf pack eyeing its prey.
Actually, I want to dance, she said, putting her drink down. His grin growing wider, he
offered his hand and practically dragged her over to the middle of the dance floor.
She snapped out of her thoughts and realized that she had almost missed her stop. She left the
station and decided to walk back to her condo instead of the usual taxi, trying to get herself tired
enough to fall asleep more easily and get rid of her hangover.
Back in the bedroom of her condo, she opened her cabinet looking for something more
comfortable to sleep in. She felt around the top shelf for one of her old pajamas when she
knocked over something very light. It fell on top of her head before bouncing off and falling to
the floor. She bent down to pick it up and realized it was an unopened box of sanitary napkins.
She remembered she bought this a long time ago anticipating her period, but its been nearly six
weeks since she last used these. Slowly, in her hung-over and cloudy-minded state, realization
dawned on her.

Jessica was standing in line at a Mini Stop, feeling her heart beat a little faster than normal in
her anxiety. She moved forward with the line keeping a loose hold on two pregnancy test kits,
which was the reason she ran to the nearest convenience store in the first place. I cant be
pregnant. Oh God, I just cant be pregnant, she thought desperately. Her heart beat even faster as
she neared the counter and by the time she was taking out some money to pay for her purchases,
her hands were shaking slightly.

In the bathroom of her condo, she followed the instructions on the kit, suddenly more
religious than she had ever been. She prayed fervently as she waited for the results on the strip,
sitting on the closed toilet with her elbows on her knees. God, I know I havent been a model
Christian lately but this cant happen. It just cant. Please.
She gathered enough courage to check the results after five minutes, eyes wide and
completely apprehensive. Slowly, she raised the strip to her eye level, and blinked furiously to
make sure she wasnt just imagining the two bands that meant a positive on the small window.

Jessica lay on her bed motionless, ignoring the headache from her hangover, anxiety coursing
through her veins. After a half hour she would take the test again to make sure it wasnt a false
positive. But she knew that pregnancy test kits were more likely to register false negatives than
false positives, and half of her didnt want to see another positive result while the other half
wanted to make sure she wasnt beating herself up over nothing.
She lay staring at her ceiling, thinking about how this seemed to be the bitter icing on the cake
of unfortunate events that is her life, but she didnt have too long to contemplate. Her cellphone
rang, and when she checked to see who it was, her anxiety reached a new high.
For a moment, she considered not answering it. She could pretend that she wasnt around to
hear it ring. Then she realized her mother would probably call again later on in the day, and
ignoring it now would just be delaying the inevitable. She let the phone ring one last time before
pressing the green answer button and slowly raising her hand to her ear.
Hello darling, how are you? came her mothers voice. She had a sudden vision of her
mother, imagining the same voice expressing disappointment and frustration over her present
situation and tears started to well up in her eyes. She choked them back before answering.

Im great, mommy, she said in a forceful tone. Whats the matter?

Oh, theres nothing wrong on this end of the city, said her mother, and it was apparent in her
voice that she was excited to say something. Listen, the Bautistas are coming over for dinner
tomorrow night. Their son Luke is about your age and he just came back from the States where
he studied. I was hoping to introduce you to him, you know, from what Mrs. Bautista tells me,
you two could really hit it off.
Jessica was stunned. And this would definitely count as the horrible flourish of sprinkles on
the cake. She composed herself as quickly as she could and carefully thought of her words as she
spoke. Im busy tomorrow night, mom, Im sorry.
Oh no, dear, cant you do it some other time? The Bautistas are really busy people and
scheduling another dinner would be
No, no it has to be tomorrow, Jessica interrupted, wanting more than anything at this
moment to finish the conversation.
Alright then, if you say so, said her mother, and she sounded genuinely disappointed, which
sent a wave of dread through Jessicas spine. If this kind of information upset her, how would she
react if Jessica told her about her current situation? I could give you Lukes number and you can
call him up and
Mom, Im sorry, but Im just not looking for anyone right now, Jessica spoke hurriedly to
keep her voice steady. She had never been this blunt to her mother before, and it felt like
violating an ancient rule that she had been extremely careful to follow all her life. She realized
how she mustve sounded and quickly added, Im just too busy with work.
Her mothers surprise was evident in the moments pause before she said anything. Well, if
thats the case then I wouldnt want anything to get in your way, she said, and she sounded

pained and sarcastic at the same time. Jessica didnt say anything, afraid to upset her mother
even more. For about fifteen long seconds, they remained on the line without saying anything,
listening to each others breathing. Then her mother broke the silence. Darling, is there
something wrong?
Jessica glanced at her trash can through her open bathroom door, where she knew the positive
pregnancy test result was. She gathered just enough strength to say goodbye. No, mom,
everythings fine. Goodbye, I love you.
She didnt wait for her mom to say goodbye back before pressing the red end button and
letting the weight of the situation control the flow of her tears.

It was an interesting building. The occupants were friendly whenever they met. Every unit
was spacious enough, and had a balcony overlooking a specific part of the city, depending on
which direction your unit was located. Jessicas faced west, and had a magnificent view of the
sun setting below the city landscape, casting deep yellow-orange light over all her walls and
furniture. She didnt have enough space left on her mind to feel lucky fort this great find, for all
she could think about was the human being growing inside of her and the fact that she had no
idea whose it was or how she was supposed to raise it.
She had been living in her new condo for a week, which was found on the opposite end of the
setting of her previous life. She quit her job, got a new phone number, changed e-mail addresses,
and erased everything else that could lead people to her. She sent e-mails using her old address
and left notes in her old condo explaining what she had done but omitted the reason why so they
wouldnt call the cops. The whole purpose of running away was to protect the people she loved
from embarrassment. Her mother, who she knew would have died of shame had she found out,

would have to deal with a missing daughter, true, but not an illegitimately pregnant one. Her
father would have been beside himself and would have been even more furious if he knew
Jessica didnt know who the father was. It would have given him a heart attack. It was definitely
much better leaving them wondering where she had gone rather than knowing how she really
was.
Now the problem was that even after all the effort she put in to disconnect herself from her
old life, she was missing it terribly. She knew she needed people, her closest friends and family,
to get through this. Yet, she had done the exact opposite. And what for? To protect them, she
reminded herself. You know in your heart that its better off this way.
Jessica spent so much of the past week lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling that many
meals were forgotten and she neglected to buy groceries. In the morning, she got up, showered,
sat by the balcony to dry her hair, then lay back down, thinking longingly about the times she
had been happy in the past. By the end of the week, she realized that starving herself wouldnt do
anybody any favors, so she forced herself off her bed, grabbed her purse, and headed for the
grocery she knew was nearby, feeling weak from her lack of food and depression.
She stood in the hall waiting for the elevator to make its way to her floor, staring blankly at
the illuminated up arrow button she pressed. Her thoughts were scattered and nothing in it was
clear except for the word pregnant, which kept drifting across like a huge piece of litter
floating along the surface of a murky lake. Her limbs felt heavy and light at the same time, as if
she could no longer hold them up but could barely feel them there. Her eyes were half-shut, a
poor attempt to block out most of the overhead light, which made her head feel even worse.
At last the empty elevator arrived, and she stepped inside it on wobbly knees. She was about
to press the button to close the doors when one of her neighbors, a mid-20s tousle-haired skinny

guy, stepped out of the door to the unit across Jessicas and called for the elevator to be held for
him. Jessica aimed for the button to the left of her finger and pressed on it as he ran down the
hall and skidded to a halt within the threshold of the elevator.
Thanks, he said, glancing at her, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards infinitesimally.
Jessica didnt say anything back. She seemed to not have enough energy to force air through her
throat or move her lips.
Hey, youre new here arent you? he asked, properly looking at her for the first time,
apparently just realizing that they hadnt met yet. Jessica nodded back, barely moving her head.
Every movement made her brain feel as though it was wobbling through some sort of thick fluid,
and it didnt feel good. Darkness was creeping up the corners of her vision.
He extended his hand. Im Adrian Perez, he said, his eyes boring into hers, though they
were barely visible as her vision grew steadily cloudier. She tried with all her might to extend her
hand to shake his hand back, not wanting to be rude, but the darkness had taken over the little
visible light left and she was falling slowly into oblivion.

When Jessica woke up, she didnt know where she was. She blinked several times before
shutting her eyes at the glaring light right above her bed. For a moment she believed that she had
been with some guy again and almost groped for the other side of the bed for him, but the room
smelled faintly of rubbing alcohol and somehow they didnt add up. She allowed her half-closed
eyes to get used to the brightness and opened them, still squinting slightly.
The first thing she noticed was that there was an IV line sticking out of the back of her left
hand. She was on a bed with white sheets, bordered by curtains on the sides she could see. She
turned her attention back to her hand and her eyes followed the tube from her hand up to the IV

stand, beside which she discovered someone hidden behind a newspaper, seated comfortably on
a plastic chair with one ankle on the opposite knee. She cleared her throat, and that someone
lowered the newspaper to reveal the face of the guy on the elevator, Adrian, who lived across the
hall from her.
Oh hey youre up, he said, as if she had just woken from a short nap. Howre you
feeling?
Im alright, I guess, said Jessica, placing her IV-free hand on her forehead to block the
strong light. What happened?
Well, I introduced myself in the elevator three hours ago and then you just sort of dropped
dead, he said casually, but his eyes were slightly wide. I totally freaked out. I dragged you out
when we got to the lobby and the manager called an ambulance. And I came with because I
thought you could use some company. The manager told me youve been living there a week but
he hasnt seen you leave your unit since you moved in.
Jessica didnt know what to say. This was a very peculiar individual, but he seemed sweet,
and he was nice enough to bring her to the hospital when she collapsed. Not knowing what else
to say, she muttered, Thanks.
Dont mention it, he said, flashing his twitchy smile. Just then, what Jessica assumed to be a
doctor stepped inside the curtains brandishing a clipboard. She turned to Jessica with a very
serious expression on her face.
How are you feeling? she asked, frowning slightly.
I feel better than I did all week, Jessica answered honestly.

Thats good, said the doctor, though the expression on her face didnt say so. It says here
on my clipboard that you were brought in with moderate dehydration. It also says that youre
pregnant. Were you aware of that?
Jessicas insides plunged back into the deep abyss of despair they had been occupying since
last week. She had completely forgotten about that. For a few minutes, she felt the wonderful
nothingness of ignorance. But reality always had a way of catching up and biting you in the ass.
I I was, she said, feeling stupid and ashamed at her neglect. She half-expected the doctor
to start lecturing her on taking care of her health now that she was pregnant, and she wasnt
disappointed.
I need not tell you that if you intend to have a healthy pregnancy, then you must maintain
good health yourself, the doctor said sternly. That includes having to eat at the right times with
the right food and drinking plenty of water every day. Youre alright now but I want to keep you
overnight just to be sure. If youre still fine by tomorrow, then I will discharge you.
When she had gone, Adrian turned to her with his eyebrows raised. Youre pregnant?
Yes, I am, answered Jessica, her voice trembling slightly.
Are you married? he asked, leaning forward. He didnt sound like he was prying, rather he
sounded like a child asking questions out of innocence.
No, she said shortly, not wanting to press on the topic. Adrian got the hint and shrank back
into his chair. There was a long and awkward pause.
Well, alright then, I dont think you still need me to stick around, he said finally, folding up
his newspaper and leaning forward to stand up. But Jessica, though she knew very little about
him, didnt want him to leave. She realized he was the first person she had talked to in a week,
and if he left, there would be nobody.

Please dont go, she said, forcing her face into a look of mild surprise at his sudden intent,
though the desperation on her voice gave her away. Adrian looked at her, his rear halfway out of
his seat. He seemed to find Jessica just as peculiar as she found him to be, but nevertheless he sat
back down and smiled, this time it reached his eyes.
An hour later, Jessica sat on her bed in a private hospital room. She was clumsily feeding
herself soup that Adrian had bought from a nearby fast food. He, meanwhile, lay on a couch a
few paces to the left of her bed, his hands in the air holding his newspaper, which he was
reading. When she had finished her soup, he went to throw the Styrofoam bowl away. He came
back a few minutes later with a serious expression on his face. He moved the couch closer to
Jessicas bed and sat on it with his elbows on his knees, his eyes boring into hers.
So whats your story? he asked. She saw his lips moved but the rest of his face almost
didnt, and thats when she knew he wasnt just asking out of curiosity.
Jessica knew that the time to tell someone was now or never. This was an almost complete
stranger, and it felt much safer confiding in him than in someone who she knew, or worse,
someone who knew her. So she told her story, though not all of it, about finding out she was
pregnant and running away, and he listened intently, almost never blinking. His eyes were so full
of concentration that his gaze was a little unnerving. When she had finished talking he stroked
his chin, apparently contemplating.
Do you know who the father is? he asked. Jessica had graciously omitted the part of her
story that made her look like a slut, which, in retrospect, was what she technically was. What
other name was there for a girl who goes to bars at night and wakes up naked in a different bed
every weekend?

Jessica didnt answer, and shifted uncomfortably on her bed. Adrian didnt force her to
answer, and after a minute, a look of deep understanding registered on his face, and Jessica knew
he had figured it out.
I frequented bars on Friday nights, she said, not looking at him, picking at a spot on her
sheets. Adrian nodded slowly.
I still dont get why youre pregnant, Adrian said after a minute.
What? said Jessica, dumbfounded that he didnt understand. It was so simple that she
couldnt stop herself from becoming sarcastic. Well, when two people have s
I got that part, he said, waving his hands at her, and his smile was wide and genuine. I
dont understand the sleeping around part. Is it just something youve wanted to try since high
school or is this like some twisted aftereffect of your upbringing?
Jessica stared at him, and he stared back, apparently not realizing how blunt he had been. She
waited a few more seconds to see if he would apologize or take back what he said, but he
continued to look at her expectantly. She decided to pretend it wasnt an inappropriate question.
I have issues, she said shortly. She had shared a hell of a lot more than she normally would
have considering she had just met Adrian, and sharing even more seemed natural now. But she
was not ready to tell him. Not when even she herself hadnt come to terms with it.
I just dont get it, he said, looking up at the ceiling, once again contemplative. Up until
you got out of school you were perfect. Good schools, good family, good life, basically. What
made you want to ruin it?
He was once again being insensitively blunt, and again he didnt seem to notice. It was as if
he asked people questions like these every day. Then she thought about it why did she have to
ruin it? She couldve been the daughter her parents thought she was: career-driven and

independent. But she already knew why it was all ruined. None of this would have happened had
she not been this way. And suddenly the reality of everything crashed down on her like a tidal
wave, and instead of washing away her misery, it dumped a ton of litter on her shoulders. She
started crying and shaking uncontrollably, which alarmed Adrian. He stood up from his couch
and put his hands on her shoulders, tilting his head so he could see her face though her head was
bowed, speaking in much gentler tones.
Hey, Im sorry, Im sorry, he said. I didnt mean to offend you. Im sorry.
The truth was sinking in and it was the most unpleasant sensation in the world. She couldnt
keep it to herself. If she did, itd kill her. She needed help. And the only help she could see was
standing in front of her apologizing over and over for something he hadnt even done, and she
threw caution to the wind and spoke.
Im attracted to girls, she sobbed. To her great surprise, Adrian stopped apologizing, looked
at her with an unreadable expression on his face, and started laughing loudly. This made her stop
crying altogether and stare at him, completely bewildered. He saw the look on her face and
stopped laughing, though his teeth were still bared and his eyes were lit up like the stars. He was
obviously very amused over her confession, though how he could be, Jessica had absolutely no
clue.
Im sorry, he repeated, his smile was dying away. I wasnt laughing at you. I was laughing
at the absurdity of the situation. I get it now, actually.
You you do? asked Jessica. She didnt know exactly what he got, but from the look on
his face, it seemed that he really did understand.
Lets see, he said, placing his fingers back on his chin in contemplation. Youre lesbian
and you thought you could fix it by sleeping around.

Jessica couldnt believe it. So he really did get it after all. This was no ordinary mid-20s guy
who lives across the hall from her.
How did you ? she began, but Adrian cut her off.
I figured its one of those things people do when theyre really desperate, he said. He ticked
off examples on his fingers. Cheat on your girlfriend to have a reason to break up, get pregnant
to fix a dying relationship, see as much of the world as possible when you find out you have
cancer and spend an outrageous amount of money in the process. He raised an eyebrow at her
and added, Or, you know, run away when you feel you cant handle peoples reactions to
something that happened to you.
Was she really that easy to figure out? Or was Adrian a different breed of man, whose
existence has never before been noticed? She didnt say anything for a long while, and Adrian
seemed to understand. He watched her expectantly but patiently, and when five minutes of
silence had passed, he spoke again.
Dont worry, dear, he said, lying back on the couch with his hands behind his head,
forgetting that his makeshift bed was at least four feet away from where it should be. Life sucks.
Reality sucks. You just gotta gamble and keep going until you earn it all back.

Jessica was back in her condo the next morning, feeling considerably lighter than she had in a
long time. Telling Adrian her story took some weight off her shoulders, and although this was
nowhere near enough to make her feel truly at ease, it did help.
Adrian had dropped her off when she was discharged and went off to run the errands he was
intending to do when they met at the elevator the previous day. For the meantime, she went about
fixing her condo properly. She had lived off boxes ever since she moved in and started her new

life, which she decided she wasnt going live out feeling sorry for herself. She decided to start
from scratch for a reason, and though that reason was unclear at this moment, though she wasnt
sure exactly how she was going to scrape out alive, she knew one thing: that she wasnt going to
go down without a fight.
At noon, Adrian came by to bring lunch, although Jessica didnt ask him to. The next day, he
came by to give groceries. And the day after that, Jessica opened her front door to a chocolate
cake with a note taped to the box: Eat. We dont always end up in the same elevator. Perhaps
there was something about sharing personal information among people that draws them together,
for Adrian continued to drop by every day, sometimes bringing lunch or groceries, sometimes
just to check up on her. He seemed to think she would be unable to cope with things on her own.
Though he was right, and Jessica was thankful, she didnt want to depend too heavily on Adrian.
On a rainy Saturday a week after Jessica was discharged from the hospital, Adrian came by at
lunch with some takeout for both of them. This puzzled Jessica since he usually just brought her
food for one.
Can we have lunch here? he asked, his tone implied that they had previously planned
having lunch that day, but Jessica was sure there were no such plans. My place smells like paint
and its getting me high.
It did look like he was doing a complicated paint job. There were flecks of different colors on
his t-shirt, shorts, and feet, and there was a smear of red on his cheek. When he raised his hands
to show her what he brought, Jessica saw an identical shade of red smeared across the back of his
left hand.
Okay, she stepped back to let him in, wrinkling her nose as he passed. He brought in a
strong smell of paint and a cocktail of industrial solvents.

Adrian walked over to the living area and placed the plastic bags on the coffee table. His eyes
were glued to the balcony just beyond the kitchen area, and he stood staring at it for a good
minute before Jessica suggested they eat while their food was still hot.
They made small talk as they ate, and Jessica couldnt help noticing that Adrian kept glancing
behind her to a spot she knew was at the balcony. She couldnt quell her curiosity.
Why do you keep looking out there? she asked, stopping Adrian in the middle of his story.
What? he asked, turning his eyes back to her.
Why do you keep looking out there? she repeated, indicating the balcony behind her. Is
there something out there thats bothering you?
Well, he said, suddenly looking uncomfortable, which was the first time Jessica had ever
seen him so. He seemed like the kind of guy that would be at ease no matter what you do to him
or where you put him. My old boyfriend used to pose naked for me and I would paint him from
out there.
Jessica was taking a sip from her pineapple juice when Adrian mentioned the word
boyfriend, and she choked over her drink. Adrian handed her a tissue from a box on the coffee
table with an amused expression on his face.
Boyfriend? she repeated, wiping her nose on the tissue. I didnt know you were gay!
Oh no, Im not gay, said Adrian, still wearing his expression of amusement. Not entirely.
But boyfriend? stammered Jessica. He didnt strike her at all as the type of person who
would be gay. Then again, these days, it was hard to tell.
Its a story almost as long as yours, he said, still smiling. He took a bite out of his fried
chicken.
You have to tell me, she urged him. You already know stuff about me. Its only fair.

Its not even an interesting story, he said, gulping down some Coke. But alright. If you
must know, this unit used to be my ex-boyfriends. We met when hed just moved in and he was
really awesome. We lasted three years.
Where is he now? asked Jessica.
I have no idea, Adrian answered. Probably posing naked for somebody else. He was really
flexible. He could keep up weird poses for long hours and painting that was a great challenge.
Jessica looked at Adrian expecting him to say, Oops, too much information, but he didnt.
This guy just didnt follow normal social conduct, and it was all very confusing and intriguing
and amusing at the same time.
So how many other relationships have you had? asked Jessica.
About five, if you count the girl I was with in high school, he said nonchalantly. Again,
Jessica choked on her pineapple drink.
Girl? she spluttered. I thought you were gay? She paused for a moment, then, So does
that mean youre bi?
Thats what they called me, answered Adrian. When they ask, its the short answer. But I
always felt like bi didnt cover it. Its just that I used to not have any preferences, really.
Used to? asked Jessica. Adrian nodded, his eyes unfocused, though he was smiling. He
seemed to be living out some sort of memory in his head, as if their conversation had only just
made him remember something.
An hour later, they were seated on the patio chairs on the balcony, playing cards and
munching on apple slices, where Jessica found out that Adrian was an artist and it was his
parents wealthy friends who often purchased his works. He had been living independently in the
building since he was in college, which was when he started seriously considering an art career.

They also talked about Adrians past, which was very fascinating to Jessica since the revelation
of the existence of his ex-boyfriend, and he told her all sorts of stories from the people hes
dated: men, women, lesbians, gays. When he finished telling the story of how he and his last
girlfriend broke up, Jessica remembered something.
You said you used to not have preferences, she said. What do you mean?
Well, I liked everybody before, said Adrian, frowning a little. I didnt care who they were.
I loved them because they were people and not because they were good in bed or because they
showed me a whole new world. I loved them all with everything I could, to be honest. But they
disappointed me, one after the other. I gave every one of them a million second chances, but God
decided that I wasnt the romantic type. So when I broke up with my last boyfriend, the one who
lived here before you did, I decided it just wasnt worth my time and effort. Not anymore.
What wasnt? asked Jessica.
Love, said Adrian, his glazed eyes on the cloudy sky. Relationships. People. That sort of
thing.
So you dont love anymore? she asked, appalled.
Of course I love, he said, chuckling. My parents are good people. My brothers the best.
My artwork is bizarre. And I love them all to death.
Wow, I feel so sorry for you, said Jessica. Adrians story made him sound like he turned
into a robot: a heartless, loveless, emotionless robot.
Adrian snorted. Dont, he said. Its all good. Oh, I lost. He glanced down at their game of
cards, where he had indeed lost. He gathered up the cards and started shuffling them. While he
was dealing them out, he said, Youre not in such a good shape yourself, you know. I feel sorrier
for you.

Again he was being blunt, but somehow Jessica was getting used to his abnormal social
etiquette, though they had known each other roughly 24 hours.