Some comic relief!

1.) C a p e T o w n S l a n g D i c t i o n a r y

Aweh :
Pronounced: Ah-where.
This is used as a greeting all over the Cape Peninsula . "Aweh jy, hoesit ?"

Bra :
Pronounced: Brah
This word has no reference to the English word which pertains to an undergarment.
The word Bra in Cape Town refers to a close friend or acquaintance.
It's a term of endearment. "Yah I know him, he's a Bra of mine"

Duidelik :
Pronounced "day der lik"
This word is an adjective, describing an ideal state of mind, a cool article, perfect, or an ideal
situation.
"How are you doing. Naai duidelik my bru."

Kwaai :
In Cape Town slang this word refers to something that is really awesome, cool or nice. "Did
you see that kwaai movie?"

Mew :
This is a shortening of the word Music

Minute / Minutes :
Pronounced : Min- eee-ter"
This is one of the few words that can be pronounced in English or Afrikaans.
Meaning, Hold up! A General reference to time. It can also take on a threatening tone. As in
I'm watching you.
"Minute my Broe, the train leaves at seven"
"Minute, jy kan nog nooit al my daait op vriet nie"

Mos :
This word is typically used as a filler in a sentence. "you are mos going to the shop" "you can
mos pick it up"
It has no real meaning but is used to colloquialise a sentence.

Nuh :
Pronounced: Ner
The use of the word Nuh is complex and multi dimensional. It can be used to 1. Find out if
the listener is following your conversation. "You turn left nuh, then you turn right nuh,
continue straight nuh"
To indicate that your listening to a story. "Nuh, and then what happened?"

Smokkie :
Noun pertaining to a place where you can purchase liqour any time any day. This institution
is not governed by any municipal by-laws and are operational 24/7 365.
Usually found in suburbs on the Cape Flats and surrounds." You can get some beers from the
smokkie"

Sturvy :
You can use this word to describe a variety of people, but generally it refers to someone who
thinks highly of themselves, or who think they are better than everyone else. "Nee jong, daai
kin is stirvy, she only speak for England "

Versin :
Pronounced: Fer-sin
This word can be used to describe someone or something that is crazy, insane or perhaps
naïve.
"Are you versin? I would never date him" "Don't be versin, just ask her out"

(2.) HOW TO PREVENT YOUR HAIR FROM MINCING

1:Always have a personal relationship with your swirl kous 2:Wella Wella Wella is not just a
chorus in the song from the movie Grease 3:See if there is any truth in the myth" sugar
water and Omo"
4:A "strykyster" can be used for more than just ironing clothes 5:If it rains stay ma at home
and watch DVD's, Oprah,CSI or 7nde Laan
6: If at first you don't succeed, DRY, DRY and DRY again.
7: The Early bird catches the perm, if you wake up early in the morning, put a doekie on your
kop to prevent the mist from mincing your hair.
8: When the going gets tough, the hare gets rough. Rather cut your hair short when times
are hard.
9. And lastly, According to Delicious Dd: If you've got it.... FLAUNT it; If you don't ......FAKE it;
But if you cant do either....EMBRACE THE CHEMICALS !

(3.) For all those proudly coloured mense who can relate!

If you take offence. Then you not coloured. Tsek.

You know you coloured when...

If you go to braai in tokai forest, suip the whole day and don't even braai any meat, then you
might be coloured.
If you used to go up to Rhodes memorial at night, to suip then have to drive kak fast out
because you saw the police vans coming up, you might be coloured.
If you used to stand outside Galaxy in your convertible BMW while its 4 degrees outside, just
so the kinnis coming out can see you, then you might be coloured.
If 19 inch to you means the rims on your car, you might be coloured.
If your car can't go over speed bumps or you can't visit some of your friends because you
can't get up their drive-way, you might be coloured.
If you have a ringtone of 50c and biggie smalls on your phone, you might be coloured.
If you wear 3 gold chains, 4 bracelets and gold rings on every finger (with dollar signs) but
you cant afford to pay your childs welfare, you may be coloured.
If you have gold teeth, you may be coloured.
If you used to wake up early on a Saturday morning to paint your purcells white before going
to Vibe, you may be coloured.
If you use lightbulbs for other purposes, you may be coloured.
If you live in Mitchells Plain , Delft , Athlone or anywhere else on the Cape Flats , you are
coloured!!
If you meet a foreigner, and the first thing you wanna do is teach him to say "jou ma se..."
you might be a coloured.
If you have ever gone to bed with a swirl kous on your head...you might be a coloured.
If you've ever had a polony gatsby cut in four and a litre fruilaatie then you might be
coloured.
If you use the word "woelag ","awe", "Duidelik" and "HO$H"... you might be a coloured.
If your parents call your friends by their nicknames like Kos , Brood, Sloffies, Goppie and The
Moor... you might be a coloured.
If your hair isn't straight and u still can make spikes....you might be a coloured.
If you ask your friends for petrol money for driving them around cos you smaak to skut... you
might be a coloured.
If u can eat a gatsby without messing on your purcells... u might be a coloured.
If you organise a trip to the beach and you take a whole pot of breyani and half the contents
of your house with... you might be a coloured.
If you own a Zippo lighter and its laying at home cos u can't afford liquid... u might be a
coloured.
If u walked to Arena from the taxi rank in Cape Town in a bomber jacket and don't take it off
till you got home with sweat marks under your arms and back... u might be a coloured.
If the word "Vibe" brings back fond memories of dark corners, DJ Fast Eddy and bluezing with
that lekker burk/kin you been eyeing all afternoon... you might be a coloured.
If the replies to the "Please Call Me's" are "Please Call Me's"... then the girl you smaak ....
might be a coloured.
If you ever practiced dancing in the mirror before going to a jol... you might be a coloured.
If your car sounds like it's speeding down the road, but it's only pulling out of the driveway,
then you might be coloured.
If you go into Edgars Red Square and spray you before meeting that kin by the movies... you
might be a coloured.
If you ever platted your 2 colour laces on your north star excitements... you might be a
coloured.
If your mother threatened u with a houte lepel before... you might be coloured.
If you went to go greet on xmas/labarang and the pants your mommy made for you matches
someone's curtains, then you might be coloured.
If you go from house to house on xmas/labarang just to vreet the mense's pan peanuts...
you might be a coloured.
If you go greet on xmas/labarang and u don't get paper money from the mense then u take
a vrag of sweets and mebos to spite them... then you might be a coloured.
If you go home with 2 barakats from a wedding... you might be a coloured.
If you go to a wedding and your mommy has a pick n pay bag in her bag and when she gets
home its full of slangetjies and endearmints... you might be a coloured.
If you eat warm breyani and cold chicken at a wedding with that bakkies of ice-cream for
dessert... then u might be at a coloured wedding.
When you & the taxi gaardtjie are friends... then you might be coloured.
If a bergie loafs an entjie by you and you give him a royal and he laughs at you, then you are
a dom coloured.
If your mommy take cold chicken and koesiesters and a flask coffee/tea and cream crackers
with cheese to the beach , then you coloured!
If you smaak boentjie kerrie more then your girlfriend...then you might be a coloured.
If you still got a Pepe dungaree in your cupboard... you might be a coloured.
And if you laughed while reading this...

YOU ARE DEFINITELY COLOURED......!!!!!!!!!