Shuttleworth 1

James Shuttleworth
Dr. E
Writing and Rhetoric
December 11th, 2015
Cards Rehabilitating Humanity
As I dragged my exhausted body back to my car after a long week of finals, rigorous
projects, and perfected presentations, my mind continued to spin with worries. Did I
meet all my deadlines, remember to fix my bibliography, email professor Beall about the
Physics Club, and call Mr. Muscarella about a letter of recommendation? All of these
questions had run through my head during the past week leaving me with a sinking
feeling in the pit of my stomach. My anxiety had built up gradually throughout the
semester and I began to feel like an automaton as I moved from morning practices to
school to work and finally home where I attempted to complete all my assignments. But
as I drove out of the school parking lot, I felt like I could breath again. For five months I
had been looking forward to the moment when I could finally relax, stop the thoughts that
had been running through my mind, and say yolo. The break was finally here and I was
already headed to Neils house to meet the rest of the guys for the usual hangout.
After a few minutes of mindless maneuvering, I had arrived. I quickly left my car
and scurried inside. Walking past a terrifying stuffed black bear, the smell of leather, and
the silhouette paintings of a cowboy riding his steed home, I prepared to shed my last
semesters struggles like a snake does with its skin. Walking down the basement steps
was like walking through the closet and into Narnia. The other side always held a world
where there were no judgments, obligations, or worries. My first sight in our haven was

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my friends dealing out the bent, stained, and torn cards. The game, Cards Against
Humanity, was something that many adolescents find enjoyable due to its escapist
qualities. This game permits players to make unimaginably impermissible statements that
would invoke riots in the real world; but in our sanctuary they only summoned
unstoppable laughter. Sitting in a circle around the table, I was bouncing my knee while
Manny remarked Did you guys see Albert drop his tray of spaghetti today at lunch? It
was golden. He ran right into Seior Parks because he wasnt looking. I felt bad but it
was really funny. As Manny finished his sentence we heard the dogs barking and knew
that the remainder of the guys had finally arrived. After they made their way down to the
sanctuary, we began. The initial fill in the blank card read My worst nightmare is
meeting (blank) face to face. Each of us took time to choose our card to fill in the blank
as if it were a life or death decision. My final two choices were Kim Jong Un and
Surprise Sex! Knowing that I could pick anything, I obviously selected the better of the
two, Surprise Sex!. Soon, we all had made our decisions. Neil anxiously picked up our
cards and read them one by one. My worst nightmare is meeting puberty face to face.
We all chuckled having recently gone through the nightmare itself. Neil picked up the
next card, which read, My worst nightmare is meeting Nickleback face to face. No one
laughed and Manny uttered under his breath I was just trying to get rid of that card
even though no one believed him. We were all hoping the next one would be good. Neil
barely uttered the words My worst nightmare is meeting a sassy black women face to
face before he burst into laughter. The emphasized sound was five men cackling and
Manny leaning too far back and falling. His plummet only worsened the situation and
prolonged the already ceaseless laughter. After we all had recovered a minute or two later,

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Neil attempted to read, My worst nightmare is meeting Surprise Sex! face to face.
Despite the funny word, no one laughed except for a giggle or two. In the wake of a wave
of laughter, my word was only a ripple. So after all of the cards were considered, a sassy
black women took the cake.
The next hours of our time were spent playing and replaying, round after round,
with no awareness of time in the windowless basement. Only aware of our bodies' needs;
if we were hungry and needed to make pizza rolls; and if we were tired and needed to call
it a night. Months of tension slipped away in a matter of hours. Leaving Neils house the
next morning was just as depressing as returning from Narnia. But that morning I was
thinking something that I had not thought before. Everyone needs a place to go to be
yourself and forget about the world. It doesnt need to be a special place; just somewhere
to go with friends and forget about the time and schedule of things and just live.
Everyone needs a Neils basement.