Innocence Chapters One and Two

Innocence is lost on the days that we've put behind us, on the days that we've
wasted on the alchohol and the drugs that follow with fooling around. Alright,
don't get me wrong -- i've done this that and the other thing to my body while
having things wrong with me i'll very seldom let anyone know about. I'm the one
that wrote Drink or Die, i'm the one that wrote Genkai Haretsu... and trust me
sometimes my life is really a limiting explosion. One things true here, i'm
probably really more childish than half my bandmates, i make cutsey noises to
Yoshiki -- and i make them well.

But i've been seeing things as of late. Things that somewhat, throw me off my
rocker --

Yes, i beleive it's more than that ..

It's hard to explain, really hard to explain -- As most would say, seeing visions
of another's past is .. disheartening sometimes -- especially when it mimicks
things that happen now. Maybe not another's past, but something that could be my
own -- i went on a whim laetly and i bought a katana for my living room wall.
Since then, i've been seeing interesting things from well over a century ago.

I keep telling myself, "hide, it's just a dream damnit.. for fucks sakes it's just
a dream... you'll wake up and yoshiki will be there at the cafe tomorrow!" "Hideto
matsumoto, stop being such a child! You're not a novel writer... you're a
musician.. leave the edo era movies for the next time you need to make a movie!"
but for some reason, i can't keep convincing myself of my inherit insanity. It
seeps out as the one thing i wasn't sure about -- it being my real past.

------

Part One

------

"TETSU!!!" Hijikata said running down the boards, after the young pup who'd gotten
a hold of the one thing he never wanted to let go of... but little did Hijikata
know, this was actually Souji's fault. It was his Haiku book, his prized .. but
somehow lacking in quality haiku book.

"AAAAAAAAAACK!" Ichimura Tetsunosuke, barley even past fifteen and he's running
past the man that he admires yet fears at the same time. This time? because he was
running with the book that may just cost him his life, and his desires down the
proverbial toilet. "Nani! NANI!! OKITA-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! TAKE THE BOOK
BAAACK!"

"NOPE!" Souji laughed and sat lightly on the edge of the boards and looked up at
Hijikata, a mild smirk on his face. "You're not getting freedom after you bothered
to open that little book." He smirked and scratched his head a little waiting for
his commander and friend, to make a reply to the statement he made to tetsu.

"Don't tell me you found it, and gave it to him..."

"Oh well, let's see.. uhm yes?"

"Souji!!"

"Yes, i did... and you can't do a damn thing about it." Souji snickered, and stood
up facing Hijikata and smiling. "Sorry Hijikata-san, he's scarred for life.
Anyways. I should go get ready for patrol."

"Souji..." Hijikata snarled lightly.

"You have to get it from Tetsu.." Souji replied, walking off to get ready for
duty.

"I know that" He sighed and grabbed the book from Tetsu's fingers swiftly. "Gimmie
that you dumb dog."

"EEEP! Na na ... gomen nasai... sumimasen.... i didn't mean to read it hijikata-

san!!!" Tetsu slowly backed away and bowed, and ran back to start off on some more
duties.. but not before letting a few inner thoughts run past his brainwaves 'That
was quick, if i would've told him what i read and what i thought.. i'd be a goner!
Hijikata-san's poetry sucks... but it's kinda .. oddly cute in a weird way.'

Hijikata sighed and walked back to his quarters, book in hand and breathing calmly
for now. This was all that mattered at this moment, though he almost let something
slip to Souji that needn't be heard by anyone. He was starting to feel something
for what was once a young stubborn brat with an excellent sword hand -- and is now
a young man with a noble eye and a kind heart. Innocence which now still graced
this young man's heart and soul, is what attracted Hijikata to his current
feelings to Souji.

The blue that graced their kimonos, their haori and everything else around them
was no longer a dull shade of depressive blue. It was a bright blue, as blue as
the ocean across the sand -- and as blue as the sky above. This was because
somehow when Souji was near, everything was brighter much clearer -- like the rain
had stopped and the clouds had gone away.

Sitting down lightly in his own quarters he began to gather his thoughts with his
book, opening to read a couple of pages. He'd strolled through a few of his early
ones, simple ones about the lakes he'd seen -- the children playing. Moving forth
toward the ones about the spring dawning, the moonlight dancing he'd stopped on a
recent one he'd written about Souji -- rather it was more so a general one about
love. But anyone that knew anything about how he felt, could tell it was Souji.

blue and gold

is our love truly
full loyalty?

He sighed, and put the book down and layed lightly on the floor staring at the
ceiling, contemplating what he should do about the way he feels. Is it right to
tell him? Is it right to let it just burn inside, possibly for it to spill over
into the next few lives?

Could he be really free forever if he let his feelings be known?

A while later, Souji returns from patrolling the streets...

"I really shouldn't have done that, maybe i should go apologize to Hijikata-
san..." Souji changed into his normal clothes, and sighed, looking out at the dark
blue sky. "What is this feeling ... "

A small voice utters out, "Okita-san..."

"Tetsu? ... "

"Can i come in?"

" [^^;] Of course, i could use the company."

Souji smiled, waiting for Tetsu to open the sliding doors and quietly enter.
He watched as the younge page walked softly and settled feverishly onto his feet
in a formal kneel stance. "what is it tetsu, something seems to be troubling
you.."

"It's Hijikata-san." Tetsu lowered his head slightly, and sighed. As hard as it's
been for everyone, including himself laetly -- he couldn't help but notice
something straining on his vice commander's face. "Something seems to be ...
bothering him."

Souji laughed lightly, "There's always something bothering him!"

"Okita-san, i mean it.. more than usual." Tetsu was generally concerned, it wasn't
just that they'd stolen his precious haiku, it was more that something was gracing
this man's face ... it was a look of worry. Most people by now had probably picked
up on it, and it wasn't an easy thing to always pick up on.

"Everyone's been wondering what it was, and i haven't gotten the courage to ask
him directly.. and Kondou-san knows nothing of the sort. Probably not letting me
know is more like it." Souji left a bit of a 'hmph' at the end of it and sat next
to tetsu on the floor, smiling and patting him on the leg lightly. "Things are a
bit tense laetly, so i wouldn't be suprised if it's just something out of the
usual."

"But this seems much more troubling.."

"Tetsu, there's not much we can do. Even i can't always get behind Hijikata's mask
and find out what he's feeling." Souji was right and he tried to express this the
best way he could to the young page. He patted Tetsu on the head, and smiled..
"You might want to get going you have a few things left to finish by the sounds of
it before you head to bed."

Tetsu nodded, he did have a few small chores left to finish before he was allowed
off to rest for the evening. "Thank you Okita-san, for letting me express this."
He bowed lightly, and moved his way quietly off to finish the rest of his duties.

"I wonder what is up with Hijikata..." Souji sighed and walked out to see if he
could find Hijikata..

--------
Part Two
--------

"BAH. What do you mean he's busy this friday? -- FUCK. I told him i wasn't doing
anything and to ... GRRR." hide grumbled and stomped around a bit before turning
off his cellphone. "Damnit yochan, you are fucking hard to please." hide of course
secretley wanted to say 'but that's what i love about you yoshiki..' .. but he was
within earshot of people who could spread lovley rumors. He sighed, and got back
into his car and drove back home after he'd just been to the studio -- an
unproductive morning at the studio -- he'd fallen asleep for some unnaparrent
reason on the couch in the lounge there and nobody bothered to wake him up. "That
was one odd dream, really odd.. and not the first one either.."
Driving back home, this was all he could think about -- all indeed.

Y'see it wasn't uncommon for hide to have lavishly weird dreams, being the
creative person that he is.. sometimes he'll have weird dreams three - four times
a week. Doesn't mean he ever pays much attention to them, but in this case when
they entail detailed parts of a life that seems to maybe be his own in the past --
maybe he does need to start paying attention. Most of all, now he wanted to know
who this Hijikata-san really was.. he knew a bit about his own country's
heritage.. it's battles, it's wars ... but it wasn't always something he kept in a
back pocket to remember. He took a pit stop to the local library instead of
roaming his way back home -- as much as he had things to do .. this was bugging
him. A few minutes later after entering he library, he roamed to the nearest
computer to search. He was incognito enough that most people in their right mind
wouldn't bug him while he searched for history stuff. Alright, so it wasn't
"STUFF" but it was important enough that he was hoping nobody would bug him for
being a celebrity.

Finding the call numbers and such he needed, he walked slowly to the natural
history section and casually browsed a few of the books and made note that there
were many books and enough with similar call numbers that it was becoming quite
the blur. So much so, that he stood there scratching the back of his neck in
confusion..

"Is there a book in particular you're looking for?" a voice rang out from behind
him...

"huh?"

"Excuse me, is there a book in particular that you're looking for... you seem
confused." The voice came from a young man a few years younger than him. Shining
burgundy hair, and gold-yellow contacts, he was dressed casually but presentable,
with a nose in a book much like what hide was looking for.

Hide blinked for a moment, and looked at the piece of paper he'd written. "Uh,
yea... 891.04SAI"

The young man laughed lightly, closing his book he passed it to hide looking him
in the eyes. "I'm Tensei"

Blinking again hide recognized the young man's name meant .. 'reincarnation' which
sparked something in his mind, but he felt it was for now best left alone. He
grasped his hands lightly around the edge of the book, which was the right call
number and everything. He tilted his head lightly and smiled at the younger man,
"I'm uhm hide.." he felt an unexplained connection to this younger man already.

"I gathered that." Tensei Smiled lightly, and walked closer and leaned over to
whisper in his ear. "I've been waiting for you Souji.." after breathing once the
last word was uttered he walked back to where he was before.

Hide's eyes widened underneath his sunglasses and he walked backward lightly, this
... feeling became stronger and began to make him shiver. He accidently dropped
the book, and removed his sunglasses looking at Tensei with confused eyes. "What
.. What was that?"

Tensei sighed, he was hoping for a less confused reaction, but he sincerley looked
at hide with a calm face. "My, my i'm terribly sorry i don't know where that came
from." He lied, he knew where it came from but he was dealing with a well known
celebrity. "Anyways, that should be the book you .." he picked the book up with a
smirk, "The book you should start with.. should you need any information.. i'm
always around these parts." He swiftly turned and within minutes was gone within
the confines of the library.

"......." hide looked at the book in his hand, and opened it... and grabbed a
couple more similar to it off the shelf and went to go check them out. Minutes
past, and once he was finished he walked out back to his car with his sunglasses
back on and got in. Turning the car on he began to drive back home with the books
in tow, and the thoughts of the current evens strolling through his mind.

More so, it was a wonder why this person.. this person at least four years younger
than him had said that. It normally would've put him in a much different
situation, possibly one to beleive he was insane -- but the fact the words that
uttered out of his mouth matched one's that were similar to his dreams? This was
becoming very ... odd indeed.

Chapter two:
Youthful Spirit

Souji moved down the corridors and sighed trying to find that Hijikata was not in
his room... and if he wasn't in his room where exactly was he at this time of
night? He walked through a few doorways, and met up with a set of closed doors and
a couple of familiar voices. It was Kondou and Hijikata, sharing a couple of
dashes of sake and bonding at a late hour, to pass time and make the night easier
to sleep in.

Inside the room, Kondou and Hijikata spoke of ill fated women they'd been around,
or been with over the last few years. Things they spoke of, were mainly how life
has changed very little since the first few days they'd all been together. At this
point, the subject changed..

"Kondou, you know me as well as anyone... that my emotions are kept in check, and
that i rarley let anything get away from me?" Hijikata sighed and puffed on his
pipe, looking a bit weathered from his current, and very unusual predicament.

"Toshi, you're the first one to make it look like you're a stone wall... Of course
you keep everything in check." Kondou smiled lightly, and laughed. "But you're
right, why ..is there something wrong?"

Hijikata nodded, exhaling he began to speak again "There is someone, that i've had
my eye on for quite sometime now... i feel like my soul connects with theirs." He
looked towards the outside, the navy sky dotted with stars across the sky. Keeping
a hold on his point, he continued.. "I normally know exactly what i want, and how
to get it.. but now i'm in a point in time where i dont know if it's right to go
after this."

Kondou evened out his expression, and looked at Hijikata with a friendly poise.
"What, you mean Souji?"

Hijikata darted to face Kondou, "How did you know?!?"

"It's written all over your face Toshi... your actions, your movements even your
aura.. " He smiled, and looked out at the sky with Hijikata. "Do what you feel is
right Toshi, it's what you've always done. Look where it's gotten us now, i trust
you know what you're doing."
"I just don't want to make this an issue within the gro--

"It won't, you're not deviating from your own rules -- or the bushido by doing
this. As long as the feeling's mutual things should be well in the end." Kondou
cleanly interrupted and watched as Hijikata stood up slowly.

"Thank you Katchan.. Thank you." Hijikata moved to open the doors slowly, thinking
he'd heard someone behind them and realizing nobody was there. "Anyways, i should
go there is much to be done tomorrow and i should rest." He walked a few steps
before being interuppted lightly again.

"You're welcome Toshi, you're welcome..."

Before Hijikata walked to his quarters, he turned to walk towards where Souji
slept..to attempt to get this all off his chest and prove he had emotions still
left. He heard shuffling of feet besides his own, and realized something was up --
the closer and closer he got to Souji's room, the louder the shuffling got and the
closer it got and the faster it got. Moving upon Souji's room he stood there, in
front of two open doors and a figure in the unlit shadows of the room.

"Souji..."

"Hijikata-san..."

"You heard all of that didn't you?"

"Heard all of what?"

"Don't lie to me Souji, you were outside that door!"

"And if i was?"

"Did you hear all of what was said?"

"
Hijikata-san, i..."

"You aren't in trouble Souji.."

"I don't know what to say.."

"You don't have to say anything.."

Souji turned in the dark and faced Hijikata, slowly walking into the taller man in
front of him. He pressed his frail body against Hijikata's and moved his arms
around him softly. Breathing a sigh he began to speak, "Hijikata-san.."

"Souji..."

Hijikata moved to light the lantern in Souji's room...

"No, let's just stay here in the dark."

Hijikata laughed lightly, "Souji, don't be silly it's dark-- we can't see." he
moved his own arms lightly around Souji and smiled. He caressed the smaller man's
hair, and held him close and felt the world become slightly more at ease. "I'm
glad at least now you know how i feel."
Souji laughed lightly and spoke, "I like it dark, just like you."

--------
Part Two
--------

Tensei sat in a chair at the library, checking the watch on his wrist he sighed..
"She's always late. I told her twevle on the dot, you'd think she'd listen." he
laughed and picked the book back up he'd laid at his side and began to read more
until he realized he heard loud stomping footsteps through the history aisle of
the library. "Reiko, you're late."

"Neh... Screw you tensei, i had to clean house this morning i told you!" Reiko
growled and kicked Tensei in the ankle, she was a young girl about thirteen.
Reddish dyed hair and dark brown eyes, she stood about five foot three and was
short compared to Tensei who'd towered her at about Six foot one. Her relationship
with Tensei? Probably the most randomest one ever, they'd been meeting each other
for history 'lessons' per se for the last couple years. Neither knew where each
other lived, but they always seemed to know each other's schedules.

"Watch your mouth kid, you may just end up someday getting what you wish for."
Tensei grinned and put the book back at his side. "Now where we..

"We were talking about Souji."

"We were?"

"Yes. We were. Now get on with it, i'm starving. Either hurry up or i eat your
toes off."

Tensei grinned, and threw a packet of pocky at the young girl, knowing exactly
what the earlier morning sessions entailed laetly. "You need to get off the sugar,
it's making you impatient child."

"Well, no i'm just getting impatient period cause i'm hungry.." She said ripping
the box open, tounge out the side of her mouth beginning to devour half the packet
without even trying. Once she finished 75% of the packet, she finally offered the
last few sticks to Tensei who happily obliged until he realized the chocolate was
sucked off all the rest of them.

"...reiko."

"Hai?"

"STOP sucking all the chocolate off the last few!"

"hee hee. gotcha!" Reiko laughed and pointed at Tensei, who by now was furrowing
his eyebrows at her and rolling his eyes. At a least amount of ten years between
them, they shared a common bond or so they beleived. Tensei of course, wanted to
begin finding the rest of the people with this same commond bond... a common past
that dates back over a century ago. So the past two years, Reiko and him had been
in the library studying up on all of this. Reiko didn't know any better at first
until he'd convinced her of her own past, she still doesn't totally beleive him --
she just tows along for the fact she thinks he's really cool and she gets free
food.
"Now, back to the lesson." Or so he thought... someone he'd met a few days back
remembered to look through the aisles of the library to find him in this
particular session. Oddly enough, he'd picked a day that the young impressionable
and music-star loving Reiko was sitting right next to him.

"Oi, Tensei... is that souji?" Without a moment's notice, Reiko's eyes lit up like
a christmas tree... but in ... very different ... sometimes... weirdly embarrasing
ways. Tensei groaned and looked over at hide, who was walking closer to the two of
them. He was sort of glad she didn't realize it was hide at first, and sort of not
happy because he'd told her before not to say anything. Does she listen? ....No.

Hide's eyebrow raised to the level of the tokyo tower practically, though hard to
tell due to his big bulky sunglasses. He wasn't sure who the kid was, and what she
had to do with the young man that he'd just met the other day. He wasn't worried,
he enjoyed kids to the fullest -- but what he was worried about was what she
spurled out from her mouth. "And you are?"

"Reiko." She smiled and stood up and looked up at hide, who seemed to tower her
even thoguh he was only about five foot seven.

"Reiko, hmm..." hide smiled and patted her on the head. "You're what, thirteen?"

"Hai, thirteen as of yesterday!"

"Hide-san, you're... here earlier in the day than i'd expected...." Tensei
scratched his head and stood up to walk over to the pink haired man. "Reiko's ...
a student of sorts.."

"She involved in this past you know about isn't she?" hide removed his sunglasses
and looked at Reiko for a moment. "Is she.."

"Hai, i beleive she's tetsunosuke... Why?"

"I came because i wanted to clear a few things." hide wasn't going to lie, he was
affected by Tensei's statement the other day. He'd read through the book in his
spare moments, back to back practically even though it wasn't a very thick book at
all. It gave him insight to what his 'dreams' have been entailing, each dream
another part of history played out through his own eyes. "Reiko, can i speak with
Tensei alone?" he smiled at the girl, and slipped a few hundred yen in her pocket
to run off to the arcade on the first floor of this building.

Reiko nodded and grinned and skipped off with her bag in tow, normally one would
say "don't get money from strangers" .. but she did eventually catch on it was
Hideto Matsumoto. Though, the souji thing made his status die down from massive
idol, to captain and made her enjoy the fact she was given money to go somewhere
without someone else's permission.

"Did you have to give her money?... Now she won't come back for hours." Tensei
lowly groaned, and sighed noting the empty pocky box on the floor and the three
wet chocolate-removed sticks on the table. "I don't know what i'm ever gonna do
with her"

"Is she your sister?" hide said following Tensei to a small table a few meters
away from where they were.

"No, to be quite honest it was here i met her... She was doing homework, and she
had to do an assignment and it was on the bakumatsu... and the fall of the
shogunate. A bright spunky little thing of about ten almost eleven years old, she
roamed the shelves and growled like an impatient little boy not getting her way
when she couldn't understand what books had what -- and when the kanji was above
her head she laid in a pile of them nearly crying. It was then i realized i needed
to help her, but i didn't find the connection until i started helping more with
her assignment later on that day.." Tensei finished, and sighed... "I act like
she's my sister so she doesn't have to explain to her parents why a 23 year old
male is helping a young girl do her homework."

"Fair enough. I came to apologize for my reaction, it took me by much suprise as

you can tell." hide slightly raised his hand to rub underneath his nose, sighing
he pursed his lips and continued. "I've been having dreams of this so called
past.. and to tell you the honest truth, it's not just odd it's scaring me down to
my bones. I'm seeing another life through someone else's eyes, yet it all feels
familiar."

"Explain what you mean..."

"I mean just that, i'm seeing bits and pieces of everyday life around the parts of
kyoto... " hide pulled a drawn picture out from his pocket, a picture of what he'd
sketched out and beleived to be the area he'd seen in his dream. " You seem to
know what you're doing, despite your young age... "

".... the headquarters." Tensei studied the sketch, while it was rough... it was
detailed. He noted mentally, where exactly everything was and where things had
been.

"Yea i was going to ask you about that.