Professional Documents
Culture Documents
~~ BOYS I N ~I /
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\ EARLY
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CH I L.DHOOD EDUCATION I
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\ KOHIA TEACHERS CENTRE I
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Mother: Nurture and love, feeding and softness.
Father: Voice in womb, holds, smells feels, sounds,
does things differently. The difference is what is
. important.
Gender identity set by 'three.
4-6 .-
Mother: Gentleness; warmth and language
.Father: Large motor skills, male affirmation and hear
male language
Love and modelling
7-13
Father: is the 'hero' major modelling and sense of
. \<
14-21
Boy: move to other men in the community.
Father: becomes increasingly stupid and falls off the
idealised pedestal. Needs kindness and boundary.
17 is the. worst and then comes back at 21- 23 as an equal
adult if dad will let him .. -
Mother: Needs to break away from mum to gain gender
identity and independence ..
-
Emotions -repressed
Men are supposed to repress all emotions except maybe anger.
Anger is the emotion necessary for the protector role.
All vulnerability is contained and managed
Some vulnerability is allowed after the female has done her expression.
Causes illness from unexpressed emotions
Boys Brains
Boys have Linear thinking. They like to move through a project in a linear
way.
Boys cannot take in many steps or take great detail in at one time.
Boys will focus hard and move in steps or sections towards a whole.
Boys focus on one thing purposefully and are not so good at multi-tasking.
•
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• Culturally-matched educators
• Clear rules
• Engagement that has a sense of 'power-over' for a boy's good, rather than to
• Staffwho are secure in self and role and thus can act with calmness
•
-
Physical
Do patterned man-shakes
Do arm-wrestling
Get a wrestling mat and develop boundaried games and combat
Touch and hold boys especially on arms and hands
Rough and tumble
Have climbing options
Imagination
Have time to be a monster -scary time
Encourage superhero play
Discuss the good done by superheroes
Have appropriate dress-ups for superheroes
Tell stories of excitement of danger
Dads
Have a 'dads and boys' working bee
Have a regular repair man who interacts during session hours
Pay mentor men with specials skills to do mentoring work
Invite Kapa haka groups in
Invite tradesmen to talk
Cut off small branches in trees to facilitate safe climbing
Teach skills to reduce parent dependency-shoe-tying
Have a grandparent's morning tea
Have free-time play so that there is time to complete tasks and activity
Step out of your own comfort zone
Be spontaneous
Bring in and use older brothers
Dads choose and read stories
Create a wall of male photos
Copy profile books to separated dads
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2. Who is in charge
MORE TI-'\l N~ s
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To vo WenA
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[00 ffi "f l A Programme
I @Ii @ ~ for all Fathers
S"ESSION'4]) HANDOUT .
II • Children
important
and others put importance
part of establishing identity.
on real fathers as those whoare blood or genetic. This is an
•
I]
•
•
Fathers
hating self:
Fathers
are responsible
need to touch
for building positive self esteem
a man. Failure to do this makes the child and adult vulnerable
For sons affirmation by father is critical for a solid positive
male identity.
ways.
that originates
to not feeling good when with
Hating father may end in
sex and
•
affe.ction may become confused if they do not. This develops greater personal" love and respect for
their bodies and a sense of being loveable by men.
• The father may develop a sense of adventure and confidence in the non domestic world.
•
•I
The father appears to have an Important connection with the outdoors and wild places.
• The father's positive presence and guidance imparts a sense of internal structure, discipline and rigor.
Concentration and focus may become difficult in a world that lacks balance and boundary.
• For dauqhters it is important in teen years to leam how to relate to a man in a safe, confident. affirming
and boundary-settmq manner. Loving approvalfrom a father may prevent dependence and vulnerability
in male relationships. _
• For a son it prevents dependence on, and use of. women for approval, identity, companionship and
support.
I •
•
For both boys and girls, love and dependency
Fathers represent greater
become confused without
safety from an adverse world and build a sense of safety
a father.,
and purpose in the
n •
child.
Fathers
Fathers
have a sense of risk-takinq
play and explore physical
and excitement
space.
II •
•
Fathers teach things about the world,
Fathers have a powerful
women.
opportunity
especially
to demonstrate
in the realm of the rational
a respectful,
and in spatial relationships.
loving and equal relationshlp with a
II •
•
Fathers
Fathers
bring a physical
support mothers
strength, rigour and discipline,
,
I •
•
•
•
Fathers
generation
Whatever
affirm risk-taklnq
Kids treat fathers
Fathers,
different.
as the most influential
for the benefit
and physical achievement.
I
Readers may want to debate whether the above is merely environmental, a role, or an essential difference.
What remains however is that. that is how it is at the moment, and that's what it means in many peoples'
lives. Some tasks are done equally well by women but it is good to have two parents doing them. All of the
above have the power to be used for great good.
I Although as fathers w"e all fall short in many ways the challenge is to do it well.
W. Pudney