It is generally accepted that families are not ()close as they used to be.

Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families
could be brought closer together.

Just five decades ago, family bonds were much stronger than our present time. Grandparents
living with grandchildren under the same roof was an out of question matter. It might pass
your mind that living as a part of an extended family could lead to numerous arguments (),
lack of privacy. Even if its true, reality proved that the modern nuclear family was not any
different. In this essay , I will discuss some of the reasons why this alternation in family

structure occurred and some suggested solutions to overcome associated problems.

With the breakthrough in cybernetics, members of the same family tended to depart from
one another. Computers aids in an individual's isolation for long hours. Recent studies
showed that over 30 % of young people's lives , ages between 20 to 30 years old, are wasted
in front of computers. This explains why the time spent with their families had dramatically
dropped. Another reason,that initiated this change is the way workers earn their
living. In the early years of last century , working within a family business was the most
acceptable job. A family consisting of 50 members or so, could work as farmers or fishermen ,
contrary to today, where everyone leads a different profession.
However , with some effort and simple alteration our families could get the best of the two
worlds. Strong ,supportive family with no privacy intruders. Firstly , meeting with the big
family ; uncles,aunts,cousins and grandparents, should be done on weekly basis to avoid
emotional detachment. Secondly ,as a small family , parents should aim to explore new
activities that all family members enjoy and be able to spare time together.
To sum up, it is up to each person to establish a healthy way of communication with his/her
surrounding enviroment. Taking that extra step will allow us to regain the warmth of the old
days without lossing our modernization .

You have provided some good reasons and suggestions as required, well
done. However, your introduction needs attention.
An essay introduction serves to attract the readers interest, introduce
the topic, and explain what the essay will be about. Correspondingly, an
essay introduction contains three features that usually appear in the
following order: an attention-getter, some background information and
the central idea.
You have included the attention-getter but the remainder of the
introduction should be reviewed. I dont believe that sentences like In
this essay , I will discuss some of the reasons why this alternation in family structure
occurred and some suggested solutions to overcome associated problems. are the

central idea.

Copyright 2006 All rights reserved to www.IELTS-Blog.com

Comment: as

Comment: If family bonds were

much stronger, why was this out of
the question?
Comment: and
Comment: modern nuclear family?

Comment: Are you sure this is the

word you should use? cybernetics
noun [U]
the scientific study of how
information is communicated in
machines and electronic devices
in comparison with how
information is communicated in
the brain and nervous system
Comment: aid

Comment: worlds, a strong and

supportive family with no privacy
intruders.
Comment: spend