DEVELOPING RESILIENCE SERIES: NURTURE A POSITIVE VIEW OF YOURSELF

DEVELOPING RESILIENCE SERIES:

NURTURE A
POSITIVE VIEW OF
YOURSELF

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Facilitators
Notes

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Script

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FACILITATORS NOTES
THE GOALS:

Hints, suggestions
and ideas for the
facilitator...

HIGH LEVEL GOALS / OUTCOMES:

This module aims to

highlight that it is
possible to recognise
negative and positive
states of mind and
demonstrates how it is
possible to change our
perception of any
situation.

1. Be able to identify and recognize positive and negative

states of mind
2. Be aware of your communication and how it impacts on
you and others
3. Recognise ways to create and maintain a positive mindset

SPECIFIC DELIVERABLES:
Each participant makes a commitment to 2 positive actions
and reports these back at the next departmental meeting. It is
recommended that the group revisits this commitment to
ensure that it is sustained.

Secondly, to show it is
possible to recognise
ways to create and
maintain a positive
mindset.

FACILITATORS BACKGROUND INFORMATION:

Having a positive view of yourself is an important mindset that
helps you improve your performance, achievements and
quality of life. Its not about smiling and denying the negative
aspects of reality. It is an effective approach that improves
your state of mind, leading to improved thought patterns,
more options and will make a real difference in your life. It is
also a choice and a skill that can be learnt.
People create their own view of themselves using a spectrum
of internal and external references. Those who are
predominantly internally referenced base their view on their
own internal standards. They have little need for feedback
from others. Those who are more externally referenced need
repeated feedback to convince themselves of their value. Most
people are on a spectrum between the two points, so external
feedback has importance.
It is common to judge ourselves more harshly than we judge
others. What would be acceptable behaviour in another, can
be a source of personal negative feedback. The language we
use will impact the external feedback we receive. This module
aims to give some insights into these areas and some
techniques that you can choose to use.

These notes give you

an overview of the
module and the
message.
They are not designed
to be read out to the
audience. However, you
can use this
information to help
personalize the module
and make it yours to
present.
If you have any
questions please
contact a Shell Health
resilience trainer

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PREPARING FOR THE MODULE

PARTICIPANTS: ideally 10 - 20, but can be higher if you have
space and are comfortable working with larger groups.
DURATION: 60 minutes approximatly.
EQUIPMENT: Flipcharts are ideal, but the exercises also work
on paper at a table. If flipchart sized paper is not available, A3
or equivalent is fine. Make sure you have sufficient paper and
pens for the size of group
PREPARE:
Write the 3 Three Big Words on a flip chart or PowerPoint
BUT

DONT

TRY

Write down the quotes by Winston Churchill and Confucius

PowerPoint or flipchart
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;

an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

-Winston Churchill
To be wronged is nothing until you continue to

remember it- Confucius

PRINT: Sufficient copies of the instructions for Exercise 1, 2
and 3 to give to the group for everyone to have a copy

You will need space for

people to split into
groups and to write on
flipcharts or poster
sized pieces of paper.

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REVIEW THE MODULE SCRIPT

The script for the Module is in the next section. Please read,
review and become familiar with it. If you have questions
please contact a Shell Health resilience trainer.

(READ AS WRITTEN) if you see this, then please read the

highlighted text. Some of the language can be unusual. Please
read it as written.

HINTS AND TIPS

This is your module
however, there are
messages that must
be delivered.
You can also memorise
the text if that feels
more comfortable.

(MESSAGE) if you see this, then please deliver the message

either by reading it, or by using your own words, whatever you
are more comfortable with.

Please customise the

style generally a light
approach is better make it yours

(ACTION) please do whatever is in the highlighted text

Humour is very helpful

The text in the right column of the script is general guidance

from the author.
It is there to help and is not mandatory.

If this text helps, use

it if not helpful
dont use it.
Some people find it
useful to write their
own comments on the
script

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DELIVER THE SCRIPT FOR THE MODULE

(MESSAGE) Welcome and HSE.

HINTS, SUGGESTIONS
AND IDEAS FOR THE
FACILITATOR...

(ACTION) Please show/discuss the high level goals listed

below.

Please, do not deliver

the module as a
PowerPoint
presentation, It will not
work!

1. Be able to identify and recognize positive and negative

states of mind
2. Be aware of your communication and how it impacts on
you and others
3. Recognise ways to create and maintain a positive mindset

(MESSAGE)
Developing and maintaining a positive view of yourself is an
important mindset that helps you improve your performance,
achievements and your quality of life.
Its not about smiling and denying the negative
aspects of reality
It is an effective realistic approach that improves your
state of mind, leading to improved thought patterns
and more options
It will make a real difference in your life
It is a choice
It is a skill that can be learnt.
Life is not always predictable and problems routinely occur.
How you personally deal with a problem can depend on a
positive or negative mindset. Routinely approaching these
issues from a positive side will help you maintain your positive
view of yourself. Changing the way in which we view a
situation is called reframing. The purpose of reframing is to
help a person experience their actions, the impact of their
beliefs, etc. from a different perspective (frame) and
potentially be more resourceful or have more choice in how
they react. Changing the frame of an experience can have a
major influence on how you perceive, interpret and react to
that experience.
Its your view and your choice as to how you view yourself
If a problem arises you can choose to focus on the negative or
acknowledge it and start to define what the way forward is.
This classic glass is half full or half empty mindset. (For the

Please do not give the

participants a copy of
the script to use during
the session.
Explain the benefits of
developing and
maintaining a positive
mindset?
This introduces the
concept of reframing
which is a way of
seeing s situation from
a different perspective.
Change your framechange your view

engineers in the room, the vessel is clearly twice as big as it

needs to be!)

EXERCISE 1:
(ACTION) REFRAMING (+/- 15 Min)

EXERCISE 1
Give a personal example of reframing or use this example to
share with the group:
A father brought his head-strong daughter to see Milton
Erickson-the famous hypnotherapist. He said to Erickson, My
daughter doesnt listen to me or her mother. She is always
expressing her own opinion
After the father had finished describing his daughters problem
Erickson replied, Now isnt it good that she will be able to
stand on her own two feet when she is ready to leave home?
The father sat in stunned silence.
That was the extent of the therapy the father now saw his
daughters behaviour as a useful resource for later in her life

(ACTION)
1.
2.
3.
4.

Divide the team into groups of 3 (or more)

Distribute the Exercise 1 sheets to each group
Ask each team to work through the exercise together
Lead a discussion with the whole group at the end of the
exercise

GROUP DISCUSSION:
Did you find it easy to reframe the negative comment?
It is easy to see why some people have positive feeling and
some negative feelings about the same situation that they
were confronted with. There is however definite benefit from
having positive thoughts as opposed to negative ones?

Your example can be

very powerful if it
relates to your own
experience.
Encourage discussion
around this topic.

Reframing comes
naturally to some
people but others need
more practice.

Emphasise that
everyone has the
choice in decision
making and ultimately
we do have control of
our thoughts and
feelings.

We have a choice in deciding what we want for ourselves as

WE have ultimate control of our thoughts and feelings.

EXERCISE 2:

Hints, suggestions and

ideas for the
facilitator...

(ACTION) THE MEANING OF COMMUNICATION (+/- 15 Min)

Exercise 2
(READ AS WRITTEN)
The meaning of communication is in the response it gets.
Words are a very powerful part of how we communicate and
sometimes our choice of words may not always have the
effect we intend.
This exercise is about the impact that using three little words
can have on your perception of communication and on your
communication with those around you whose responses may
be part of the feedback you use to maintain your view of
yourself. The three words are BUT, TRY and DONT.

(ACTION):
Divide the group into smaller groups of approximately 4.
Distribute the 3 word exercise sheets (one for each word) to
the group and assign each to a different person.
Ask the person with the sheet to lead the exercise for that
particular word and rotate through the group for each word.
The fourth member of the team acts as an observer.
Lead a discussion with the whole group at the end of the
exercise

GROUP DISCUSSION:
What impact do the words have on the meaning of
communication?
Does this impact how you perceive the person?
Do the words impact your response to the communication?

EXERCISE 3:

BUT Butting out The

word BUT often
undermines the part of
the sentence before it.
People tend to hear the
part of the sentence
after the BUT which is
often less positive. !I
would love to help BUT I
have other things to
do
It is possible to manage
this situation by using
AND instead of BUT of
by ending a sentence
with a positive.
TRY : using the word try
in the discussion
suggest that failure is
possible and that failure
is acceptable
Quote ; DO or DO NOT,
THERE IS NO TRY from
Yoda in Star Wars.

DONT
Phrase is as you want
and phrase it in the
positive.
Example : Dont think
of a blue elephant
immediately takes you
to a blue elephant.
Hints, suggestions and
ideas for the
facilitator.

(ACTION) PROBLEMS, OUTCOMES YOUR PERSONAL VIEW

+/- 10 minutes
(ACTION) Please introduce and run exercise 3.
This exercise looks at the impact of how you frame your
approach to an issue on your state of mind.

The purpose of this

exercise is to help
understanding of how
focusing on a problem

(ACTION):
1. Divide the group into smaller groups of 3 or more
2. Distribute Exercise 3 to each group and ask them to follow
the instructions
3. Encourage discussion with the whole group at the end of
the exercise

can have a negative

effect on our state of
mind while looking at
the outcome can have a
more positive effect

GROUP DISCUSSION:
Is there an impact on your state of mind by focusing on
problem or outcome?
Do we always focus on both?
END OF EXERCISE

SUMMARY

Hints, suggestions and

ideas for the
facilitator...

The exercises in this module are designed to illustrate the

impact that communication and language techniques can
have on your state of mind. You can choose how to
communicate and what language you use. That choice of
language can alter your state of mind and the results of the
communication can impact on how positively you view
yourself.
Developing and maintaining a positive mindset is about
recognizing and taking those choices that help have an
impact on your state of mind The more you are aware of your
ability to choose in how you perceive your life, generally the
happier you are.

You can read this part

of the summary out or
put it into your own
words.

SHARE THE FOLLOWING QUOTES:

Did the session work?

Will people use the
approach?
Worthwhile use of time?
Enjoyable?

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;

an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Winston Churchill
To be wronged is nothing until you continue to
remember it - Confucius

STATE:
To embed a behavioural change it is necessary for us to
choose to make the change and then revisit, reinforce and
practice.
Close
Thank everyone for their participation

Check whether the

goals of the session
have been met.

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REGISTER
(ACTION) Please register all the participants.
After you have delivered the module to the team, make sure
that you register all the participants - its easy!

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
For you
It is a record of your activity as a facilitator in delivering
modules, to demonstrate the work you have done.
If participating in the resilience survey is part of your GPA or
IDP, it provides evidence you have done this work.
For the program
Helps us understand the global reach of the resilience program
what countries is it being delivered in, how frequently are
modules run.
It allows us to refocus modules that are not used or less
effective and learn from those that really work.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO?

Choose one of the following:
Use the attached Excel file to record attendance at the
module. Either type in names and computer ID or ask
attendees to write it and scan and email the completed form
to PT-Admin-Resilience-Training@shell.com.
OR:
Create a distribution list from you email, or calendar, invite list
and send as a vCard to PT-Admin-ResilienceTraining@shell.com. You can find instructions on creating a
VCard here:

Register

Reinforce

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REINFORCE
(MESSAGE)
This part takes place after the session and is critical for
success. If the changes and techniques discussed are going to
succeed and to become routine practice that improves
resilience, individuals need to do work to reinforce the
changes and use the learning. Reinforcement is best achieved
by a variety of approaches and by individuals integrating the
concept into their routine daily activities. You can assist by a
variety of means

(ACTION)
Please select some reinforcement activity form the
suggestions below, use the feedback from the session, or
create your own.
Some options:
1. Personally review the outcome of the module, how did it
look, did it feel as if the team were buying in, what were
your personal learnings?
2. Discuss with the group at the next meeting if the learnings
from the module were put into practice.
3. Implement a Try/But/Dont count in meetings and emails
keep it light and keep reinforcing eg:
Ask someone to keep scores at the next team meeting

of the number of times one of the words is used

Commit to clarify the meaning when someone uses

one of the words by asking an open question at the

time please help me to understand? or else feed the
sentence back to the person

Unfortunately, like
many parts of life, if
you want to improve,
you need to work on it.

As the facilitator your

input is very powerful in
driving reinforcement
People can report back
on success, or lack of
progress to date

EXERCISE 1 INSTRUCTION NOTES

Work in groups of three or more
Each person in the group prepares a negative statement, problem or
issue which can be about work, a home situation or even as simple as the
weather
The person reads out their negative comment and then reframes it into a
positive statement
This is repeated for each member in the group
Please then discuss the following questions within your small group for
feedback to the larger group.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:

Does reframing the comment into a positive change how you think
about the issue or even impact your mood?
Do you have the ability to impact your own mood?
Are you an equally effective decision maker when you have flu or
when you are feeling well?
Are you a more effective decision maker when you feel more
positive or negative?
Does making good decisions impact how you feel about yourself?

EXCERCISE 2 INSTRUCTION NOTES

TRY

DO rather than TRY

Read out the following statements:
1. Ill call you tomorrow
2. Ill try and call you tomorrow
DISCUSS:

What is the difference between these two statements?

Which one looks more positive?
What do you hear when the word try is used?
Do you think that the second person is likely to make the phone call
tomorrow?
Overall is the word TRY likely to enhance or reduce a positive
response?

EXCERCISE 2 INSTRUCTION NOTES

DONT

DO rather than DONT

1. Tell the group: Dont think of a blue elephant
Ask what did you think of first?
2. Consider the difference between the outcomes from the following two
statements:
Dont fall down the stairs
Hold the hand rail.
Ask which is most effective?
DISCUSS:

Telling others, or yourself, what not to do is easy.

You often hear parents use this phrase with their children: Dont
spill that drink.
What is the likely result?
How can you re-frame DONT into DO?
Give some examples from home or the workplace to share with the
larger group

EXCERCISE 2 INSTRUCTION NOTES

BUT

Part A: Yes, but

1. Get one person in the group to agree to speak on a topic of their choice
for a short while and to answer questions on this topic
2. Brief the group (not the storyteller) to intervene with statements and
questions starting with Yes, But. as many times as they
practically can
DISCUSS:
The group asks the story teller to explain how he/she felt during this time.
1. How did it feel?
2. Did it make you feel valued?
3. Does Yes, but make you feel positive?
Part B: More Butting Out
State: I hope to attend your meeting, but I have to visit a supplier today.
Ask (the group): What did you hear?
e.g. My visit to the supplier is more important than your meeting
State: I hope to attend your meeting, and I have to visit a supplier today.
Ask (the group): What did you hear?
E.g. I have two important meetings and a dilemma. As a result I may not
make your meeting.
DISCUSS:

People are generally more likely to remember the information that

comes after the But which is often the less positive part so try
using and instead
The power of the word But is in the fact that it undermines or
contradicts anything you say before it.
So when you find yourself using the word 'But think of the
message you are actually giving

EXCERCISE 3 INSTRUCTION NOTES

PROBLEMS, OUTCOMES AND YOUR PERSONAL VIEW
1. Agree one volunteer Person 1.
2. Person 1 outlines a problem that happened at work (preferably, but can
be at home). This could be an incident or an ongoing issue which they
have been involved in.
3. Person 2 asks the question set from the Problem Frame
PROBLEM FRAME
What is your problem?
How long have you known about the
problem?
Whose fault is it?
Who is to blame?
What is the worst part of the problem?
Why havent you solved it yet?
4. Person 3 asks the question from the Outcome Frame
OUTCOME FRAME
What do you want?
How will you know when you have got it?
What else in your life will improve when you get it?
What resources do you already have which will help you
succeed?
What is something else that you did succeed in doing?
What is the next step?
DISCUSSION:
1. Does the focus on past (problem) or future (outcome) impact your state
of mind?
2. Does the focus of questioning tend to push you towards +ve or ve
feelings?