Howayis Rocklerollers!

It was fierce lava planetery outside and I hadnt had a Shmitwicks in two months. Beadles of
sweat spun me eyeballs inward. Payters stomark just couldnt take it anymore! I had done
near two thousand squats in the hour, hockered back spoonloads of protein and me kidney
beanses were about to fuckin drop out. The heat bate me sideways as I couldnt believe
how I got meself into this position, but Payter has gone and changed the world. Well for
83% percents of them that admits it. Sorry for youse lads, but Ive become a porn star.
Porno Pat was his name. Silky hoor, all goldiness and advancin baldery, he walked around
the town like J.R. with a cute line for the boys and girlses. I gave him no time, skulled down
the backwash when he copped me having a slash up against Mileys wall. Stoppa stoppa! I
said, Payter knows its not right in public, but hell injure himself cuttin off the mains! But
Porno Pat didnt want me to stop, he just stood there in the long grass observing me pissin
me whole namery across the wall.
Payter he said, fingering gristle from his buck tooth with the black nail, youve the biggest
cock Ive ever seen, Id like to put it up on the internet. Arrgh! I knew he was a
bodysnatcher! Hed talk to young wanses and theyd never be seen nor heard of in the town
again. Now hes come to deprive me of me mickey and sell it on the websites! I wasnt
fuckin born yesterday you know, I know what a pound of pork costs and its not good
enough to live on with a butchered stump like the one Martin Mack has.
Porno Pat said I could keep me tacklery, but that hed pay me for time spent with him at his
house over in Parnell Park. I didnt know what he was on but a 50 note was stuffed in me
shirt pocket, and sure if the eegit wants to buy friends then thats his problem. I dried off,
zipped up and away we strode. Inside Pats house was like Cape Canaveral! All blinkin lights,
tripods and a massive white cylinder where I had to stand. He flicked a switch, lights tore a
hole in me head and I was unstabilised! When out came a tiny little womanses from the
cupboard and grabbed me arms! Pat said her name was Oksana from Omsk. I said I was
sorry for her loss. She said that I sure smelled nice and that I could touch her if I liked. I was
in confusions!
Porno Pat screamed Action! Suddenly shes at me chinos like a terrier huntin a squirrel. I
wanted to box her in the face but Pat told me to go with the flow, that there were already
349 online. Hah? Off flew me shiny shoes and there were buttonses everywhere. Aww,
Mammyll take the flannel to me with all the rips! There were cameras from all angles.
Oksana was sliding up her skirt. I was down to me blue boxers. Pat said it had hit a
thousand. I shouted Stoppa, stoppa now please! But thats when the voices started!
Hundreds of them, all telling me in mad accents to do bad things to this little lady, to whip
her! Beat her! Spit on her! Strangle her! I was witless with the fear. Leave me alone! I
roared, but they kept coming, more and more. Then Oksana yanked at me cottons and
pulled out me tool! Her eyes dilated. All the voices disappeared. Everyones jaw was open!
Pat looked at me, said: Theres a million viewing Payter. Youve just bought the whole
fuckin internet.

I didnt know what he was on, but I was naked in a strange room full of bright lights with a
baldy man and a young womanses hungry for lovin! I recalled the last and only time I laid
with a girl and that was an accident so something said I shouldnt stop now. That I should
desecrate her soul. Hah? What mayhemery is all this? That wasnt me! That was an
American! This is live! Pat shouted, a million connections and all interactin! They were
calling out moves, changing the angles, cameras moved like magic, in and out, up and down.
Oksana opened her legs. Aw, the sight of it pumped the bloodery out of me brain and I
could resist no more. I had to touch her! Sorry Mammy but she has to be savaged! There
were squeals and roars, bucks and strain, flashes, clicks, a dislocated finger, Pat jumping up
and down! Aw, the panic in me bones as I fuckin steamrollered her into a blackout!
After forever, I opened me eyes, Oksana was clinging to me, shivering like a starving dog in
midwinter. With tears in her big green eyes she said: I want this too, that's why I come
here. I start when I was 18. Porno Pat, he is good man, we will win! Pat was clapping his
hands. Keep fucking like that, he said, and we were going to be rich. And he was right!
Akskskssshsh! Society changed its mind. Now they wanted Payter and the fucker was
ablaze! Hang out with the Bruisers in the Corner House then trousers down on the webbery.
Three hours on set, three short breaks for a piss and two shits. The girls flooded in. Oksana
trained them up, to survive my savagery. Some didnt make it. 2 million online! Pat
screamed and bought more beds and me a pair of square-toe alligator bootses. Even fixed
Mammys bad hip. But I couldnt tell her yet, that her son had now changed the world.
Any time, day or night, log on and youll receive the 24hr Payter package. They called me the
PILF. I was made. 3 million at one go! New positionses were being delivered to the
womenses of the world; the Haybailer! The 5-Wheel Racer! The Floppy Dangle and The
Chicken Wing Riot! Akskshshshsh! Ladies were ordering their lads to supply the whole PILF-y
menu. They couldnt handle the pressure! The young bucks were fucked! But I saw the
impact of my emissionery. Everytimes the young lads was havin' sex, they were wondering
where their girfriends brain had gone! Was she really the person he was sleeping with?
What the hell was she thinking of when she was on the job? Was it you? Or was it ME?
Payter! Akskskskssh! It wasn't like a couple anymore, it was like a show and I am in the
middle! I am in your head, on the little blue bicycle, pedalling around, fuckin you up! All
83% of yis!
But Im being consumed lads, the regime is brutalery. Two sessions a day, off the beer and
have to think of me mickey all the time. Stuffin it in cotton wool between takes and always
at the squats for Porno Pat as the customer is always right! Six pack! Biceps, puffed out
chest, raw jaw and pointy cheekbones! All this work just because I changed the world. I run
laps around the Avondale woods now. Where once Id drop asleep in the long grass to work
off the feed a beer of a Sunday
But the thing ladies young and old all like; the thing that I dont need to change; is the thick
thatch of orange hair on me head. That and sure me massive cock! Akskskskssskhhhsshsh!
All the best boyses! Play me some heavy metallery!
The PILF.