Lifes Joy

Emotional state of myself thinking

Thinking reluctantly about the instability of lifes joy.
About the bittersweet nature of lifes joy.
I sigh in anguish when I recap on the troubled soul within me
who is obviously tired Of my on and off experiences of tears and smiles.
I rebuke life after wards in my mind.
But I am constantly reminded about the fact that
Someone is going through a lot than I am.
That becomes my solace for a while and repeating.
Because lifes joy is not stable.
People say to me Endure the pain while it lasts.
Joy will be better felt after pain
yet I think about another mans life which has not an iota of joy in it.
Born crippled,
Born an orphan,
Born deaf and dumb,
Born with a down syndrome
Born a sickle cell patient.
where would their joy lie?
what is the joy for them?
when they are constantly reminded that they are not fully human.
when they are beset with this "never will go" predicaments.
Here Im. Thinking myself aside.
In a bitter state almost drowned with tears.
Thinking about lifes cruelty.
No! life is not cruel
lifes joy is.
For not being available to everyone.
For being difficult to attain.
Instead of making life an easy jolly ride, it chose otherwise.
My unconscious solace.
Cobbalexgh