THE MULTICULTURAL WORLD

VIETNAMESE MARRIAGE RITES

Tai Lam
VVOB, Brussels, Belgium
1998

We are living in the present world that can be considered as a far more
advanced and marvellous one than ever in science and technology. Obviously modern
technology is around us every day. We can see many examples of advanced
technology at work, at home, in the city and even in the country. Although technology
has brought us many useful things such as improved living conditions etc., it has also
brought us disadvantages that include not only environmental problems that do a lot of
harms to every species of beings in the living world, but also the cultural ignorance,
i.e. ignoring or lack of their ancient cultural knowledge

Nowadays we are living in a multicultural society and community where now’s

the time every people in the world has a desire and tendency to turn their back to learn
or get to know more clearly about their own original culture that, more or less, can
help make intercultural communications more easy and effective. In the theme of the
week today, I will present the topic of the multicultural world and should like to
introduce a little bit about Vietnamese culture and traditional custom of the six-
marriage rites in Vietnam in olden days.

VIETNAMESE MARRIAGE RITES IN OLDEN DAYS

Marriage is one of the six transitions in human life and is the most important
and impressive of all. There is a ceremony and ritual that mark the transition from
adolescence to adulthood. Marriage also indicates the first step a person starts with a
new life and starts to be responsible of giving birth and promoting the race. For “ Of
all the guilts, no progeny is the greatest in one’s lifetime”.

Formerly in Vietnam, law didn’t stipulate the marriageable age for young
people, but according to a traditional saying, very popular in Vietnamese folklore: “
Girls at the age of thirteen, boys at the age of sixteen are suitable for marriage.”

1 Lam Nguyen Tai Email : yuantsair @ hcm.vnn.vn - An Giang Multicultural World

 Moreover, many people believed that predestined affinity was arranged by God and
that who married who was a work of the personage in heaven.

As with any people and in every country, wedding customs in Vietnam were
formed centuries ago. Though Vietnamese wedding customs were more or less
influenced by East-Asian thoughts and customs, esp. From China, they bear very own
characteristics and popularities of Vietnam. According to ancient customs, the young
couple’s marriage was decided by their parents. Those who wanted freedom to love
and marry one another were considered disobedient and blameworthy and were
referred to as those “ climbing over the wall “. Furthermore, choosing a wife and
selecting a husband were based on consideration of “marriage of convenience or
property.” The two sides considered each other’s family background, morals and
social position, and esp. The conduct of the daughter-in-law and the capacity for hard-
working of the son-in-law.

As written history, Vietnamese wedding formalities included six rites :

1. NAP THAI RITE : ( Rite of silk delivering or handing -over)

After choosing a partner for their children, mostly through the match-maker or
mediator, both families organised an engagement ceremony called “ Nap Thai Rite “---
the term from sino-Vietnamese meaning “to hand in or deliver the colourful silk “. At
the same time, the bridegroom’s family would bring a wild goose to the bride’s house
to imply that “this girl had been chosen.”

2. VAN DANH RITE : ( Rite of asking names and ages )

Following was “Van Danh Rite “ meaning the rite of asking names. The
bridegroom’s family asked for the bride’s name and age. Then both would make a
marriage agreement stating the couple’s health status and their mother’s ranks in
families ( principle or second and so on ).

3. NAP CAT RITE : ( Rite of spreading good news )

After having the couple’s ages, their parents (especially the bridegroom’s)
would have the young couple’s horoscope data taken into consideration to see whether
their marriage was compatible or incompatible, different from the western astrological

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 signs of zodiac, that was based on the Chinese astrology according to the year of birth.
There are 12 signs, too, they are named after animals in orders:

COMPATIBLE SIGNS INCOMPATIBLE SIGNS

<-----------------------------------> <-------------------------------------->

Rat <-----> Dragon --- Monkey Rat <--> Rabbit --- Horse--- Rooster
Orders Buffalo Snake Rooster
Buffalo Dragon Goat Dog
Tiger Horse Dog
Rabbit/Cat Goat Pig Tiger Snake Mokey Pig

After “comparing the couple’s ages”, if the bride’s age “matched “ the boy’s, “
Nap Cat Rite” would be done to show the bridegroom’s family accepted both side’s
marriage oaths. They would “spread news” by sending their representative to the
bride’s to inform them. If the bride’s family also accepted, they would “re-spread
news” in return. The Sino-Vietnamese word “Cat” here means “good news “.

4. THINH KY RITE : ( Rite of defining wedding day )

In accordance with ancient opinion, Vietnamese people usually consulted the

fortune-teller the favourable day to decide the wedding day. ( It had to be at “ Hoang
Dao Hour “ meaning the good hour of the day, of the month). That was called “ Thinh
Ky Rite “ that means the rite of defining wedding day for the young couple.

5. NAP TE RITE : ( Rite of handing-over marriage offerings )

In the Nap Cat or Thinh Ky Rite, the bride’s family would raise the requirement
of marriage offerings to the bridegroom’s. This is called “ Thách Cưới“ ( The custom
of asking for marriage offerings ) On those days, young men in Vietnamese villages
were scared of this custom because the bride’s requirements were too high and
beyond the bridegroom’s abilities. The man wouldn’t be allowed to marry the girl if he
didn’t hand over enough. If meeting the bride’s requirements of marriage offerings, the
bridegroom’s family would come to the bride’s and give them. This rite is called “ Nạp
Tệ “.

6. THANH NGHENH RITE : ( Rite of receiving bride )

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 Also in the ceremony of handing-over marriage offerings, both sides would
finally decide the official wedding day. This official wedding ceremony is called “
Thành Nghênh Rite “ meaning the rite of receiving bride.

The six above-mentioned rites symbolise the six fierce challenges that young
men and girls wishing to live together had to overcome. In ancient Vietnamese
opinion, the more complicated the wedding formalities, the more strong will and
honesty young people show and the more formal the wedding. But later, these six
formalities were replaced by only three ceremonies. They are : Pre-engagement
Ceremony ( Chạm Ngõ- including the first two, Nạp Thái and Vấn Danh rites ),
Betrothal ( Engagement ) Ceremony ( Đính Hôn - including The next two , Nạp Cát
and Thỉnh Kỳ Rites ) and the third, Wedding Ceremony ( Lễ Cưới- including the last
two, Nạp Thái and Thành Nghênh Rites ).

These days, together with the development and modernisation of the country
and the civilisation of young people’s lifestyles, people just pay much attention to
sincere and honest love, attention to the economic capacities to set up a new family
when thinking of marriage. Vietnamese people now tend to reduce or ignore the
awfully-long wedding formalities. That is more and more popular in the present day.

REFERENCE : WESTERN SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC

1. Aries (ram) 21/3-20/4 5. Leo ( Lion ) 21/7-20/8 9. Sagittarius (Archer) 21/11-20/12

2. Taurus ( Bull ) 21/4-20/5 6. Virgo ( Virgin ) 21/8-20/9 10.Capricorn (Goat) 21/12-20/1
3. Gemini ( Twins ) 21/5-20/6 7. Libra ( scales ) 21/9-20/10 11.Aquarius(WCarrier) 21/1-20/2
4. Cancer ( Crab ) 21/6-20/7 8. Scorpio (Scorpion ) 21/10-20/11 12.Pisces ( Fishes ) 21/2-20/3

* Aries for those born from March 21 to April 20. Taurus from April 21-May 20, and so on.

Lam Nguyen Tai

15/05/1998

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