Saturday, January 12, 2008

Because of my True Stealth, and outwitting hackers and defeating them, and defeating the
general media in the race and gold-rush to keep tabs on my life, I and all my colleagues
and fans are winning. Were all stronger because of this, oddly enough.
The truth isa scorpio-auteur-architect and entrepreneur (and all else that I am) needs
stealth. Or at least, in the beginning I do. You cant get shit done if everybodys keeping
score. That fucking sucks. And thats where the stealth of a wireless router comes in.
One thing I really hate is people who hide behind their insults, because they have nothing
better to say, or because theyre just angry and dont want to admit it.
Problems: Im arrogant sometimes. I want to be praised and glorified without putting the
actual work in sometimes, or at least where it matters. Theres a whole army of net nerds
out there, waiting to take me down and belittle me in their own little trend whore bitchnuts way.
But where was I? Oh yes. Time to get to the root of my procrastination is the fact that I
know even if I put a lifes worth of work into it, no one will acknowledge me in the way
that I had once hoped, and theyll still try to narrow their focus on me as a person instead
of my work, and I hate that. I need to find some new interests to explore.
New interests: My journals, DVD authoring, computer stealth, gun fu, architecture and
conceptual layouts. Sketchbooks. The comic book is a hopeless case. No one will buy it
when its released, due to the stigma in society against myself that Brian created, but I
have not lost hope. Im just not thrilled about where ZU is headed. And therefore it
detracts from my morale and enthusiasm when it comes to working on the project. Many
assume thats all Ive got in me. And they try to give me shallow advice, like if you use
too much of your power and energy and work at once, it will destroy the world and
confuse the market because you have too much power! Thats the curse of power: If you
use too much of it, it causes too much of a ruckus. Ive never believed that. Nor do I
believe in taking my time. Thats never helped me much. Damn. There goes ZU. There
goes my ONE LAST CHANCE at affording being able to live alone in a mansion up
north or on the west coast somewhere. All that work. All that planning. All that labor of
working on a book of my own All that local reputation. All that POWER! Ruined by a
few posts and comments on the internet, and some jackass with cracking abilities!!!!
Fuck Im so fucking hateful and mad about that.
Theres GOT TO be an easier way to make a profit than this horrible route of mud Ive
dug myself into. Ive got to find some way other than comics to make money. Ill go
broke and insane trying to get rich off of that ZU book.
Tapping into my own power has become like a sort of therapy. Instead of giving into
other peoples power, I surrender to my own, and it comforts me and puts me at ease. If I
get mad at my foster parents and brother, I merely take out my DVD, and watch it like
Im doing now, or take out my book that Ive written, Manifesto, and read it when the

house is quiet. Maybe all this work Ive done has some practical use after all. I cant
handle human contact or the real world, but my own power I can understand. My work
saved my life from the misery of Cary and Andrew and his family, and how unhappy they
are and how their misery has rubbed off on me in the past. I cant put my finger on it yet,
but when I can actually feel the energy of my power and influence on society, I feel a lot
better. I might not have my own show, or my own mainstream entertainment storytelling
project for that matter. Nor do I have popularity. But Ive still GOT SOMETHING. Ive
got something better than all that. I have my own DVD, my own book, my own
corporately sponsored webcomic, and my own self published one shot comic book issue.
And the change of quality in my life upon using a wireless internet connection was
practically instantaneous. I noticed changes right away with certain places and certain
people. No longer did anyone else hold the upper hand over me. BJ and co. all
disappeared from my perception almost instantaneously, both figuratively and literally.
Their timing was all off out of nowhere. You cant track whats not connected to the
network. So now I know whos living in hackerville and whos not. It was actually pretty
easy to figure out once I threw everyone off. Ive actually attained some degree of
unforeseen status, and have actually gotten a bit of power over my usual enemies. They
just have no fucking clue. Its awesome to watch them suddenly go from looking really
smart and informed to all of the sudden looking like the idiots theyve always been and
the idiots Ive always seen them as. I hate people who try to manipulate me just to look
smarter than me, just to win the publics favor and better their reputations. Fuck them.
If I make any money, and rise to the top, none of them are ever going to work for me
because theyre all backstabbers, and I dont owe them a motherfucking thing. They
aware of the Girls Gone Wild type pron I look at. Theyre pretty sad if they think they can
find a way to punish me for that one. Is that the best theyve got. Theyre pretty sad if
they think they can put me away just for looking at and tell the FBI and everything. All
that shit. But BOY DID THEY TRY. Called me a pedo, pervert, old man, and
everything. Gee, thanks, but fuck you, fuck you very much. Youre going to need more
dirt than that to defeat or hurt me. You little pieces of garbage.
This isnt going anywhere good. First I quit television. Then animation. Then anime. The
comic books. Maybe I am a quitter like they all think I am. Im extremely depressed right
now. Am I going to die? Im a warrior though. Im scared and sad as hell and out of my
mind. But that is not the way of the warrior. A warrior must always remain in control, no
matter how out of control things get. I need the Warriors Cool and Calm. No matter what
happens, remain in control. Dont let them see how scared, or sad, or lonely you are,
because if you show weakness, they will consume it and kill you. Thats exactly what
Brian tried to do to me, and I know other people have the same potential as a real life
murderer like him.
Ive underestimated the difficulty of the task at hand, the fear and suffering and difficulty
that would be involved in reaching my goal. How much people would spit on me and
curse my name and report me as a criminal and treat me like shit and garbage in general,
on both a public and private level. But Im starting to wonderis it worth all this pain?
All this suffering? Just for a glamorus goal of nothing but power and influence? That only

gets you so far. The rest of the time you have to be human. The truth is, I AM the boss
now and everyone in my hometown knows it, but theyre afraid to admit whats really
happening, because theyre scared of facing the wrath like I have. Im a shark. Maybe I
should just count my losses, and wins, and go home, or whats left of it. Ive finally found
my own inner manager, and hes intimidating. Hes scary and powerful and I dont want
to be near him. He smells bad and is scary and powerful and influential. He makes the
decisions. I dont want to be him. And yet, I have to be. Hes like Hiroshima.
If I keep working on my comics project, it will affect society. If I stop work on my
comics project, it will affect society. Either choice puts jobs and people at risk due to how
influential both decisions could become. Im at a crossroads.and I think Carys
computer is cursed with bad mojo and bad luck. Everytime I go near it, or have gone near
it, something bad happens. Its been infected by Carys evil corrupt soul. His corrupt soul
translates into computer data, and corrupts other people who follow his corrupt example.
What exactly are horoscope-y things? Horoscopes. Typologies. Psychology. Religion.
Biographies.
Im acting like a chump when they get me with their hidden agendas.
Actually desiring or trying to be associated with mental retardation that is television was
one of the worst mistakes of my life. Those people in the TV and who work for TV never
shut the fuck up. And they never have anything interesting or wise to say. Its all bullshit.
Im better off without television, and probably the internet too. Got to be careful not to
fall for the bait, when they use guys with afros just to get me to rant. Fro-flamebait.
International people in the European and Asian community (Japan, Britain, France) =
Light on the Outside / Dark on the Inside
Local/National Community (American) =
Dark on the Outside / Light on the Inside, pussified
Im firing my art teacher DonnaIm not satisfied with her. Shes just lame and doesnt
help, so I need to fire herand as a result, Moms arguing with Andrew, and for some
reason Cary felt compelled to join in on the surburbanite-Middle Class war.
So what was my REAL intention for writing a comic book anyway?
I wanted to be Jhonen Vasquez.
I wanted to make undreds of thousands of dollars off a black and white indie comic with
no ads. I wanted to be in traditional print. I wanted an army convention and website fans.
I wanted an army of groupie fangirls that proclaimed their sexual desire for me in letters
they wrote to me by snail mail, offering to have sex with me and date me, so that I
actually COULD have a sex life. I wanted to be loved for being a freak. I wanted

mysterious and powerful rockstar comic book artist designer NT with status I wanted to
be consider a cool geek who was beyond parody. I wanted to live on my own, because
comics afforded me that opportunity. In other words, I wanted blatant dominance. I
wanted to be discovered by a talent scout at Nickelodeon (or some other cable animation
outlet). I wanted that edge. It was a pretty crushing blow when I realized random people
online resented me for having those very desires, but instead of having them like Jhonen,
have them in my own way. Instead, I got persecuted like a criminal and spat on, and
treated like a powerful martyr, and became a scientist. You know, all that crazy stuff. Just
nowhere NEAR what I expected. Maybe my expectations were set too high. However,
Ive had many things Jhonen never had: A dysfunctional upbringing, hostility, social
rejection, no money, social controversy and taboo backlash, unpopularity, a nephew, a big
family. In many ways Im the opposite of Jhonen. He is popular and consider fashionable.
I am not. He is rich. I am not. He has looks in the eyes of other people. I dont.
So, yeah, Im firing Donna, cuz she sucks. I might fire Jo Ann, my therapist too, because
she REALLY sucks sometimes.
And it shouldnt have to be such a fight with my own family just to find myself. Why do
I have to fight with people just to find out information about my own power, job, and
personal life? Its like theres a big unified conspiracy to stop me from finding out the
true reality of a situation.
2 Taurus/Guardians butting heads in anger is quite the site to see. I should know, Cary
and Andrew commit such atrocities one a daily basis. Its like washing a nuclear bomb
going off in a middle class house.
Strangely enough, my x-arch nemesis made it his life ambition to make sure I dont
succeed, because he knew if he didnt cheat and play fair, that I would smoke his ass in
terms of comparative value. Now that hes in jail, hes not so powerful. But he did
obviously see success and power in me: Why else would he want to see me fail so badly.
Obviously there was some untapped visionary psychic intuition going on there. He had
some kind of power to see my potential beyond what most people saw. Therefore its not
surprising how drastic the measures were that he made in an attempt to stop me. Of
course Im talking about the Angry German Kid.
These meds are starting to kill my desire for sex, but since I dont have sex anyway, Ill
bet in the long run thats a good thing. I hate and dont want sex or courtship anyway.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
As a scientist, I value computers, and am currently in the process of gathering my DNA
(deoxyribo nucleic acid) and analyzing it to track my ancestry, which I have never known
about till this point (the near future)with a little help from National Geographic and
IBM through a massive joint research venture.

Jeez. There are so many many people to talk to and such a little amount of time to talk to
them in. Honestly, theres so much on TV, so much on DVD, so much on the internet, so
much on the bookshelf, so many unfinished books, so many drawings I havent done yet.
Theres just so much to go through still. Theres a lot of good manga I own, both
American and Japanese, but Im too fatigued to look through it all. Im going to need
more power drinks sooner or later to keep me saneat least temporarily.
As much as I like the color black and love to use it symbolically in my work, as an
expression of my inner soul, I realize that there are some negative societal connotations
that go with parading around everywhere and painting a black landscape of your work
everywhere. For instance, in some instances, black is widely associated with death or
evil, but I dont see it that wayIm more attracted to the status and power element of it.
Absence, modernity, power, sophistication, formality, elegance, wealth, mystery,
style,
evil, death (Western cultures), fear, anonymity, anger, sadness, remorse, mourning,
Black unhappiness,

sex, seriousness, conventionality, rebellion, unity, sorrow, life, rebirth(ancient

Egypt), slimming quality(fashion) January.

When youre the cornerstone of any major operation, of course theres going to be some
verbal animosity towards you. Like an actor or comedian, youve got to expect hecklers,
haters, slanderers, and dissers. I think one of my main problems in the beginning to
dealing with success was that I didnt step into the game prepared for criticism. If youre
a cornerstone in the spotlight, of course theres going to be jealous haters who are
suspicious of popular success. Having a lot of people hate on you is just hazing that goes
with having a lot MORE people like you, and its a rite of passage. If youre famous and
controversial in some way, you can bet at least a few haters with horrible mouth will start
flame wars about you with other people on the web. That just goes without saying
nowadays. It just comes with the territory. Nothing more, nothing less. Pop = hate, even
for non-hateful entertainment. On the web its a different story and atmosphere entirely.
People say things theyd never say out in public for the most part. People say angry
things about you online that theyd never have the balls to say to your face in person, and
if they do have the balls, its not like people wont notice them being an asshole. Its kind
of a like a rock concerts. Fights, whether verbal or physical, always break out, especially
with bully types.
I dont really know that people. Well, actually, Im lying. I do know a lot of people.

I know:
Cristy, Chan, Masashi, Otomo, Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, Donna, Tim, Eric, H Jon,
Haley Joel, Mark Hammill, Colleen Clinkinbeard, Judy, Chris Rankin, Peter, Jackie
Chan, Britney, Bush, Seth, Seth, Russian Chick, Spielberg, Dave Barry, Kevin Smith,
Jason Mewes, Jamie Hewlett, Jamie S. Rich, Lorelei, Josue, Amanda, Norman, Boddah,
Maryanne, Glendis, Jennifer, Jennifer Almond, Slyfoxx, Fayworshipper, Afro Samurai,
Mandy, Chris, Nicole, Sasuke, Andrew, Cary, Peggy, Nick, Lynn, Phil, Donna, Phil, Chris
Hess, Haxor 5, Cille, Cat, Lance, Sean, Steve Blum, Jhonen, Todd, Clay, John Miller,
Piro, John Lasseter, Lilmini, Larna, Odin, NU, Patty, Denny, Shawn, Chiara Zanni, Sam
Vincent, Richard Horvitz, Tom Kenny, Colbert, The RZA, Johnny Young Bosch,
Tarantino, Lazzo, Turner, Tara Strong, Bryant, Dan Green, Sean Schemmel, Wendee Lee,
Drew Garabo, Chad, Steve, Brendon, Carson Daly, Peter Cullen, Dan Stone, Butch
Hartman, Linda Simensky, Lisa Day, Itachislonglostbro, Scabby.
Somehow I became pseudanonymously famous. Famous, but not if I dont reveal my true
identity. As long as I dont say who I really am or what Ive really accomplished and
done, Im not going to seem famous. Someone on the web called me famous in Japan
anonymously, using my pseudonym. Thats about the coolest thing ever. Ive only been
recognized once, but thats only because my look has only been advertised once.
4 weeks from now, I will know where my true ethnic origins lie. And I can finally start
boxing in this mystery. If theres one thing as unknown as my ethnicity, real name, birth
parents, and my body type, it would be my ethnicity. Now peoples true colors will come
out when it comes to the way they judge and classify me. I wont cry racism, but Id
better proceed with caution in terms of the way I market myself in the public eye
New situation:
Laptop
Laptop Internet
Devoted fan following
Devoted internet following
Wireless Internet connection
Toonami Jetstream
DA Account (not really used anymore. Some people actually take that place seriously.
Not me though)
Reputation as an auteur
Stealth and invisibility
Brian is defeated
Im published (even though it wasnt glamorous and glorious like I expected it to be)
Im on good standing with Williams Street / Time Warner
Im no longer a laughing stock, partially thanks to improved body language and clothing
Devoted to losing weight and working out
Pepsi Max
Naruto, Adult Swim, and YouTube are the new Jhonen Vasquez / Spielberg

Toon Disney
Ovation TV
Nicktoons
AnimeTV
I should listen to Nicole. I need to stop being such a manslut. Even though I do love
promiscuity in me, and I actually kind of like the idea of sleeping with 500 women, even
if they are slutty skanks, fangirlies, groupies, and whores. As long as they turn me on, Im
there. I want to DJ in a techno club, while everyone is writhing around while two or three
Chiara Zannis and Wendee Lees a swarming me and hovering over me like I used way
too much Axe hair gel, licking my ears kissing my neck, caressing my shoulders. That
would be a nice dream. Definitely. Now thats my kind of party. Thats My kind of
Spindack Party. The one where Spindack is in the middle of all the sex and so getting his
dick sucked by certain sexy female Hollwyood skanks. If it doesnt involve Chiara
Zanni, Tara Strong, and Wendee Lee in a foursome orgy, count me out. Oh Ill give them
what they want. You bet ya. Hey. Why not give the girls what they want?....Replace the
famous girl names with those of nameless obscure skanks and youve got a swinging
bachelors apartment.
Im stuck with Andrew for now at least:
The question is, how do I solve the problem and get unstuck:
Actually, I moved out before he did. I made it all the way to art school. He never made it
that far without coming crying back home for his mommy. They had to drag me back
kicking and screaming. I suppose they actually thought it was a good idea to bring me to
a psychiatric hospital from art school, instead of bringing me right back home and THEN
hospitalizing me. Talk about a horrible plan of action. How bad is that gonna fuck me up?
Theres no reprieve. Its a straight one way ticket to hell. Cary thinks hes so scientific
that he has the authority to decide what is scientifically best for me, when his real goal
is no different than Brian Johnston. My foster father wants me destroyed just like Brian
Johnston did. Far as Im concerned, for putting me in jail/hell, hes no different in terms
of the way hes trying to punish me. I should write an essay: How Cary and Andrew
single-handedly destroyed and ruined Williams Street and its lead cornerstone, JM with a
few hospitalizations. Lets face it, thanks to the powerLESS Cary and Peggy, theyve
taken away all our power by sacrificing their own family and lives to science and evil
medicine. I sense an evil spirit lurking underneath Casselberry Florida. I sense an evil
ambiance in my local city and especially my neighborhood. Something eerie, lifeless,
failed, malicious, and creepy, almost like a monster or ghost or ghost is lurking under the
surface and destroying all ways out of the city and human contact. I knew it was a bad
idea to come to this evil, creepy, haunted place, let alone move here. Its like a bad Alfred
Hitchcock movie. My hometown is creepy, no doubt about that. Especially at night, and
the evil spirit is affecting just about everyone, except maybe me and my friends. I hate
Disney, and I hate Disney World. And I hate the stranglehold Disney World has on

Florida. Its monopolized the economy, making Florida only as valuable as the tourism
that Disney World attracts. Disney world is worse for Florida than Microsoft is for the
computing industry. And those monopolies exist just like the monopoly Andrew and his
family have over my house. If I move out and they end up on the street, theyre not going
to be living with me, no matter how much they beg me and plead. Theyre fucking
staying away from my house. And Ill buy guns and call the police to keep them out if I
have to. Bottom line. Theyre not getting near me if I get the chance to get away from
them.
Doing a comic book in my own way is just about impossible now
Im smarter than everyone who puts their stupid mug or face or name in or on an
advertisement, movie, book, TV show, internet site, conglomerate, wall street stock,
comic book, article, or news program. Im smarter than all the public figures. Im smarter
than ANYONE who puts themselves out there. If someone rips me off, I just need to
remember. Theyre never put me out there. Theyve only put their loose personal ignorant
biased interpretation of me out there. I wont get noticed till long after Im found dead.
And I couldnt be happier because of this. Im all the smarter and stronger because of
this. Just because you use a publicity photo of my cousin without his permission doesnt
make you smarter, nor does it even make me or him famous. Being famous, whether as
an adult or kid, or at least in the public eye automatically makes you stupid. Sure I might
write another book at some point, but it wouldnt be merely to get my shtick out there,
like some people. Like Steven Colbert for instance! Fuck you Steven!!! Fuck you very
much!!!
And if people want to continue to make reference to me in the public forum of the public
media, they can go ahead and do that. Im still infinitely better and smarter than them,
merely by not showing up in the same place they have, which is the Retarded Zone and
the Retarded Radar: The Public Eye.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Now that Im pretty much out of the public eye, I need to find something else to do with
my time. Theres got to be something better to do than sitting around in my room
smoking cigarettes and drinking Zero Calorie Cola all day. But then again, most of the
time theres nothing on TV.
The poetry of movement (Avant-Garde, gun fu)
Pattern as a form of thought
Things that dont benefit me: Money, a job, a career, the web of lies, animation, anime,
U.S. manga, webcomics, my parents.
Everyone does something. I do message boards, the Internet, anime, American manga,
and a dysfunctional home life, which has been made very public over time. Time Warner

doesnt really know shit about e-business, the internet, or manga. They just like to
pretend they do.
I know why I dont have a career, life, friends, allies, a famous project, fame, or general
success.
Its because Ive lost touch with God, and so has everyone on the internet. The internet is
evil. I cant rely on the net, because its thrown me off of the real vision, the real god, and
All That Is. The devils corrupt children have exploited me.
Whoa. The Tokyopop message board has over 130,400 members, and half of them have
the word lover in their name. This is getting weird. And Ill bet none of sexually
attractive.
The truth is: Now that comic books are out of the picture, what now? I feel lostonce
again. I havent felt this lost since I got that rejection letter from the top college I was
applying for.
Im quitting drawing. The truth is, when I was at my artistic prime, no one really went out
of their way to praise my art that much, which was a good indicator for me of how much
it wasnt worth it. But people shamelessly and soullessly liked to exploit it. How could
my art be that good and barely anybody liked it? Not worth killing myself over, but still
pretty bad. My art is sacred, just like my writing, and does not deserve to be lowered to
this cheap exhibitionism.
Computer: YOURE OURS NOW, BITCH!!!!!!!
Ive got to find something to do with all my time now that Ive fired myself from comic
books. The problem is, half the stuff in my is geared towards animation and comics, so
now that Im quitting, its like Im taking a big chunk of energy out of my life. But
hopefully, its for the best.

Actually I know exactly what I can do with all my spare time:

Print Journal Editing. Read my book, then edit it.

Designing My TV/Comp Prototype
DVD Authoring

And thats about it. At least Im not giving myself too much to do now. And it seems like
Ive been procrastinating on these goals lately, probably because they werent actual real
goals until just now. Animation and comics are just more trouble than theyre worth. I
need to take myself less seriously, and to do that I need to stop seeking recognition from
comics and animation.

Difficulty Ranking

Easiest: Reading and Editing Journal

Medium: DVD Authoring
Hardest: Designing the Computer Prototype

Im gifted with genius beyond belief. I grow weary of anime, animation, comics, and
manga. Ive grown to hate animation and comics. Those industries are filled with pricks,
and I hate the people working in them, and Im never gonna work with those people
because I hate them. Im better than them. Im better than comics and animation. Im too
good for that medium, or should I say THOSE mediums. Im sick of competing in them.
Its a waste of time. My powers and abilities and genius are squandered in them. Science
doesnt treat me like shit or call me names or insult me from a distance. Neither does
literature. I hate animation/comics and their lack of depth. I hate things that arent deep.
There are no hot chicks working in the sciences or literature, thank god. All the sex
bitches are still stuck in anime and comics. Science and literature are much more
powerful than animation and comics. Get out pricks. The truth is, Im going to burn this
bridgeto the GROUND. Im going to incinerate this fucking bridge!!!!!
And last but not least
Memo to the fucking internet
When I get back on my feet, sooner or later, yall are DEAD. Hands down. Youll be no
match for me when I get on my feet.
They can KEEP their SexualDeviantART. Me? Ill stick with DVDART. Its MUCH
better (and more profitable. Truth is, Im experimenting in a medium even newer than
YouTube is. YouTube is ANCIENT compared to what Im doing.)
Who knows. Maybe I actually am a real life engineer-technician of computers, the
internet, DVD, animation, anime, comics, and manga after all! Im so innovative I dont
even know what to do with myself anymore. But I CAN say confidently that Im not
happy with the direction American television animation and certain manga cultures are
headed. I love co-pros, but they never listen to me when I say they need to do more of
them. I kind of remind myself of both Ub Iwerks and Ed Katmul over at Disney and
Pixar.
The truth is, I have a better eye for good technical art and storytellingin almost any
format and genrethan almost ANYONE, or at least the majority of other artists and
writers. Thats because I have the eye for detail that most others dont see. That would
explain why I like Akira so much while the rest of the U.S. ignores it, and why Im so
drawn to Googles division, mythology, and Williams Street, franime, and coproductions, etc. Because not everyone has the gift for the technical eye and aesthetic
technical appreciation, schematics, blueprints, models, model sheets, all that jazz.

Goal:

Continue Reading Journal

Continue Producing New DVDs With New Content (Short Films, WMVs, AMVs)
Continue Designing and Producing DVD Cases

I like to think Ill leave a reasonable sized bomb crater in the animation and comic book
industry, just like that.
Im really only doomed if I havent developed my contingency plans.
Why and how did pop design become so popular with the kids, particularly females? I
just dont get it. Back years ago, when I first started designing, studying Akira and
Jhonen, a design themed Barbie doll line being advertised on CN was not exactly the
kind of bullshit I had in mind. I wish whores didnt like design as much as they did, but
its not like I can do anything about it. Still, it makes me sick to my stomach thinking
about it!!!!! Fuck I hate you Barbie!!! Go die you slutty bitch!!!!! Now even BARBIE
BITCH is trying to steal my livelihood from me. Whos next? Bin Laden? Charles
Manson? Al Sharpton?
Theres not really a career in manga. For a while there I was under the delusions of the
media that there was. But theres not. Not in the United States anyway. Manga doesnt
pay enough for you to make a living at it.
Listen muthafukas. Im not finished, contrary to popular opinion, now that I think about
it. I might not be an artist anymore, but I am still a great writer. I write better than ALL
OF THE PEOPLE ON DA do. They all suck compared to me, and they know it. Actually,
I write better than almost everybody, with rare exceptions. Im one of the best, even
though the critics tend to ignore me. Things I can write: Novels, comic books, manga,
television animation, 2-hour-long cinema. Maybe I can let my artistes ego subside just
this once, and become a full-time writer. It would certainly be much easier than trying to
be both an artist and writer, even though I probably could be that too if I put my mind to
it, but Im not going to. Time to tap into the potential that is no longer just potential but
actual raw skill.
I never succeed in art. Im a failure in that genre. Im a failed artist turned writer.
I keep wondering. Do I really have that much hidden and potential power and importance
that major companies are showing public interest in me? And its not just one thats trying
to win me over (HOW DARE YOU!). Funimation, Tokyopop, and Williams Street,
major players in the game, all seem to have shown interest in me, which has caused quite
a stir in the fan community, from what I gather. Am I the male manga-ka version of
Kimiko??? O..M..G. Maybe that IS a reference to meScary but true.

Kimiko
From Wikitokyo, the unofficial Megatokyo wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

First seen in 24
Nanasawa Kimiko ( )[1] is a young aspiring voice actress
from Tokyo who is in her mid-twenties. She has recently managed to
land a major role as Kotone in Sight, an upcoming game from
Cubesoft. This is a big breakthrough for her, as it is her first real job in
the voice acting business.
To make ends meet, she has a job as a waitress at the Anna Miller's
restaurant in Meguro, a place well known for its attractive waitresses.
She seems to get along well with her customers, despite being a bit
clumsy.
Due to a distinct lack of confidence, Kimiko has not done as well for
herself in life as she would like. She has been passed over for many
voice roles until her recent success with Cubesoft. She hates having to
rely on Erika for much of her basic support. Although Kimiko is rarely
confident, when the occasion calls for it she can be very passionate
both in defense of herself with a coffee pot and in defense of others.
Her comments on Mumu's radio show about one particular fanboy
(Piro) was heard by all the other fanboys, who applied it to
themselves. Her kindness and the resulting chaos once again show the
truth of the expression "No kind deed goes unpunished..."
She is also a firm believer in treating people right, and following the
rules. From about the point of strip 468 she seems to have taken over
the role of Piro's good angel.
Kimiko is an accomplished seamstress who enjoys making cosplay
outfits for her roommate Erika. She sometimes contributes to the
cosplay outfit section of MegaGamers.

Kimiko's agent is Niidera Satsuki from the Ippai Voice Talent Agency.

Contents
[hide]

1
2
3
4

Memorable Quotes
Current Status
Relations with other characters
Relations with places

5 Notes

[edit section] Memorable Quotes

"You have to start looking past the feelings you think you want to
have and find the ones you really care about." - to Ping
"When people hurt themselves, they hurt the people who care about
them. I've already had my nose broken once, Piro-San..." - to Piro

[edit section] Current Status

Despite a number of awkward moments, Kimiko's budding relationship
with Piro has blossomed, although Fred had us all wondering whether
these two pathetic individuals were ever going to get anywhere.
Kimiko is starting to achieve "idol" popularity, but she's beginning to
show signs of stress. She has suddenly realized how out of control
fanboys can be. She's had a tiff with her director, producer and agent,
and even had a row with Piro after the Anna Miller's incident, although
the two patched things up the following day.
Recently, she showed a hint of an ability to convince people to do
things, even with the additional difficulty of a language barrier. How
this ability works exactly is unknown.
She is now in a situation where the life of a voice actress is starting to
overwhelm her. Despite some advances from other video game
companies, she is holding her own, but this is just a front. Inside,
she's beginning to crack. Having touched Miho's unknown kinder heart,
the Darkly Cute One has hidden her away to allow her time to recover
(and further pierce her cold, calculating exterior). However, concerns
about her well-being have also prompted a fellow Cubesoft employee,

known to the otaku only as "Kumakuma", to contact Piro through an

intermediary.
So, I guess, due to my fame, school and day jobs are out of the question? I cant help but
wonder what Kimiko will say at her press conference.
I can still control my actions and lifestyle. Ive got my laptop. Ive got my DVDs. Ive
got my shows. My parents and brother dont have the power to become happy, but I do,
and I think theyre jealous of me. Right now, because of how my family over reacts to
everything I say, I feel like the worlds first anime politician.
Nothing is new anymore. Everything is old.
An old friendMY friend, one of my oldest friendsJohnny B came over today. He
rode his motorcycle over here, and Andrew practically acted like a pit bull around him,
trying to keep him from going into my house (Mom, theres some guy here. His names
Johnny B, who the hell is he??? I then got the door after that, and welcomed Johnny in.
Dont mind my brother. Hes a littleover eager.) We talked about all kinds of things
that we love. Alcohol, MySpace, YouTube, comedy, motorcycles, making fun of Brian
Johnston (I just wanna punch him in the face! ha!), making fun of people who bite my
style, steal my name, and copy me, music, getting in trouble with the law, hacking into
the hackers comps, beating up the hackers, more music, comics, Scud, Cerebus, memory
loss, nervous breakdowns. In this instance, I didnt seek out social interaction. Not even
on the internet. It sought me out.
Fuck. Even after my best friend shows up to cheer me up, Im still depressed as hell. Its
partially because I have no one to talk to on the phone. Even though Ive been to therapy,
talking to the medical community it quite limiting. Its not liberating at all. I dont really
have many friends to talk to on the phone, just like I dont have friends to talk to online.
Its all strangers. And I hate strangers. I wish I had more friends I could talk to on the
phone.
Well, the heyday of my social interaction is over. All the major social outlets of my life
are pretty much all dead. School, day jobs. Those were my only real options for meeting
people. I guess theres always book signings.
This is weird. One of my visions came through and it didnt even thrill me. I guess I
barely even noticed one of my premonitions coming true this time. It involved the book I
wrote. When I first published it, I had no one to show it to, but I fantasized about
showing it off one day, to someone. Then just yesterday, my best friend Johnny comes
over, and asks me what Ive been up to.
Well. I did write a book. Two books actually. Volume 1 and Volume 2. My journals.
He had an awe inspiring look of amazement on his face. Very excited to see my work.
Whoa!! he shouted. Thats awesome!! he said to me, very excited about my book.

And the weird part is that thats exactly the goal I had in my mind, was me handing my
book to someone, them being amazed and going Wow or Whoa, and then proceeding to
read it and be entertained by it. The whole situation happened faster than I expected. It
happen exactly like I had pictured it in my mind! That was an amazing moment for me,
the Book Showcasing Vision. But at the time, I barely even noticed it. Looking back
though, it was a pretty big deal and quite a thrill to finally get to show my work off.
Leaving the Internet-ART World
Pros: Less humiliation. No more material that can be used against me, no more plotting
of my competition, because they just wont know what Im up to. Less stress. More time
to meditate. Replacing something negative (the web) and replacing it with something
positive (meditation).
Cons: Loneliness, less interaction. Boredom. People might get depressed in my absence.
I am now the master of funny one-liners and brand slogans!!!!! YEAH!!!!! Like that one.
I fucking hate tech experts. Most of them have no fucking clue what theyre doing, and
yet still manage to get paid high salaries in tech industry jobs somehow, even though
theyre not doing jack shit when it comes to making a difference.
I would stop being more arrogant and start being more humbleif I had a reason to. But
the truth is, the real hot chicks only really dig arrogant jerks, and therefore I choose to
stay one of those. Chicks dig arrogant ass bags. Arrogance, pretension, pride, vanity. Its
not so much me being arrogant as it is me hating things and people that are really
horrible. I just refuse to view myself on the same level as the freaks out there. Theyre not
as good as me. Their carnival freak show ways are light years behind what I do. And
thats the truth
*Sigh*. Im surprised. I guess Im NOT retiring. Im just exhausted. Im not retired. Im
just fatigued and tired of listening to wankers run their mouths on the web. Bottom line
is, my webcomics kick all the other webcomics asses.
Lets see:
My talent never went anywhere. I get one negative criticism by some nobody online, and
I flip out. Damn. Why must I be so sensitive. If Im really going to be on top, Ive got to
find some better strategy for handling careless criticism from fans. But why is that. I
guess I am kind of arrogant and spoiled. So much so that Im put in one or two major
negative situations I cant handle it, and turn into a reclusive shut-in who constantly sulks
and feels sorry for himself. As of now, I cant handle real criticism very well yet. I just
pretend like I do. My nerves are shattered: By my brother, but Brian, by Bill, by the

internet and fans online. This is a recurring pattern for me. Its happened before..Ive
gotten some criticism from someone I like and it breaks me down. And my familys not
helping. Particularly my abusive and domineering (not to mention alcoholic) foster father
who is out for my brother and mys blood. And as we all know, Nuthin gets done when
Carls pissed. And is sonofa bitch fosta sun is pissed eitha.
The truth about power is that true power is hardly ever attained through bullying or
selfish action. All of the most powerful people Ive ever met never came across like
bullies at the time I spoke to them. If theres one thing they all have in common, its that
they were all jovial and well spoken, and often, brilliant conversationalists. Ill admit,
there is a certain outgoing social element to true power, but on a minor social scale,
bullies sometimes get ahead in the short term. But on a large social scale, unless youre a
terrorist or criminal, youre not going to get very far by fear and intimidation alone. Not
if you want respect and honor. Honor and respect are never won on a massive social scale
by being a bully. Yes, Im a wimp. A pushover. A pussy. A fag. A weenie. A coward. But
Im not weak. Jhonen Vasquez and Katsuhiro Otomo, two of the kings of dark, masculine
art, are both on that list of gentle giants.
Turns out I actually might be kind of good at getting people I know to do certain things
for or with me. Like Chiara Zanni, Wendee Lee, and Tara Strong, to name some of the
girls out there who like me on some level. They definitely listen to me, and theyre
definitely attractive compared to certain other people in the industry. I have them
wrapped around my finger with my charm in some sense. I dont think Steve Blum and
Johnny Young Bosch would have stuck their necks out for me if I didnt have at least
some level of charisma, and personal charm. And to attract that many attractive ladies
must mean I have some sort of sexual charmI guess. Now that I think about it, its kind
of always been that way. All of my pseudo-romantic relationships have probably been the
result of my charm and charisma with the opposite sex. They dont seem to care about
Crazy Brian or the pron controversy, probably because they know every guy looks at
pron. The truth is, Im an obscure single guy celebrity.
Showbusiness and pop culture have never really had any set-in-stone rules when it comes
to how you should act. Theres laws, but thats about it. Laws are different than social
rules. Theres no such thing as a rule that says you cant have an ego, or you cant insult
other people. There arent really any cans and cants. Though there do seem to be shoulds
and shouldnts.
Damn. Oof. Parallax got tested pretty hard back there. And I dont think I reacted to a few
negative criticisms very well. Im surprised Ive managed to survive. Actually, End Times
got attacked, and I freaked out quite a bit. Everything kind of seemed to be heading into a
downward spiral, both professionally and privately after that, but fortunately that
suffering didnt last forever either. But will it get better or will it get worse? Theres
really no telling.

One definitely good way to approach getting into the entertainment industry would be to
promote yourself in broad, generalist terms, as opposed to boxing yourself in, in very
narrow, specialist terms.
For instance, in one sense, yes, I am a shonen mangaka. But in another, I am a seinenshonen mangaka, but Im not just that, Im both an author-writer and an illustrator and
artist in general. I am also not just a manga artist. I am a comic book artist. The same
goes for comics and animation. Im not just a comic book guy. Im an anime guy too.
And on top of that, Im not only a Japanese anime guy. Im also a coproduction guy. The
list goes on, and fortunately for me, its pretty extensive.
Anime people are some of the most versatile people of all.
I like people who in some ways are just like me the most. I dont like cheap imitators
though. Theyre nothing but fools.
Things I hate: Bad puns. Anyone but me doing smooshing.
So far, Ive mostly functioned as a kind of lone wolf in the industry. I have yet to see a
successful collaboration from myself on an independent creative project. The projects
didnt necessarily fail. But they did kind of die out, or disintegrate. Its hard to do
collaborations. Ive collaborated with over 5 different people on 5 different projects either
online or in person, and none of them worked out. The people I worked with have talent,
but I wish I could find someone who is truly compatible with my work style.

List of Past collaborators:

Vampire Akito
Jay
Stephen Hill
Tony
Incorrect Spelling
Larna
FAME:
Im actually kind of famous in the internet and international communities, in terms of
message boards and anime and comic books. Im already famous, but its a famous name,
not a famous face. And its not a famous real name either. Its kind of the same thing for
people like Steve Blum and Sean Akins, but on a much larger and grander scale. In other
words, Im well known, liked, and famous in the same way Steve Blum and Lance

Heiskell are. Im just too cool for school. Or a job for that matter. Im famous. Ive got an
e-brand name. Ill be well off soon enoughI guess..? And as the world waits for me
tospeak (?!), I currently, at the moment havenothing to say for all of these people.
I think thats part of my secret. The fact that Im one of the first members of the newest
type and generation of celebrities: International celebrities.
Also, I think part of what makes me such a magnetic personality to the public is how, no
matter what, even through times of hopeless and utter public panic, violence, perversion,
and despair, and general crime and evil, I still maintain an angelic aura of innocence,
youth, light, and purity, either despite or because of what is going on around me. Thats
the private me. No matter how cynical my creative visionary and storytelling work gets at
times and no matter how fucked up my life gets, I still maintain my youthful naivety and
innocence..For instance, though I may look at bad things, I still vow to maintain my
chastity because to violate that would be to violate something sacred: My feminine-esque
purity. None of this is visible in my surface psyche or creative work somehow, by some
miraculous stroke of luck, but Im sure someone out there notices it. And Im both loved
and resented for that fact. Thats part of where the controversy comes from. For instance,
theres a whole army of conservative people that say If youre perverted in any way
(which everyone is in some way, on a subconscious level) then youre obviously out to
destroy innocence, obviously. Not protect it. Youre out to destroy innocence and not
protect it. Their minds are simple enough to ass-ume you cant have both, that its all
black and white and all simplistic and shit. So according to Guardians, youre either a
perv or a sage and theres no such thing as a pervy sage as seen in Narutolol.
Also, I know better than to try any of that dick riding shit with other brands. I know good
and well to keep my brand clear of Piros brand. We have two separate styles, two
separate audiences, two separate demographics. Its kind of like theres an invisible
border between our cultures and audiences. Piro, or Fred, has captured the web market,
and his fans are very verbal, whereas I get more love from the mainstream audience and
industry veterans, and my fans are not really verbal like his are. And Im kind of glad
because of that. I am to Adult Swim and Bang Zoom what Fred is to the Internet and
Funimation. My fame is kind of a silent and subliminal acknowledgement that people
seem to be universally aware of. Im not exactly a rival of Piro, but then again, Im not
exactly an ally either. Were not exactly enemies and were not exactly friends. Were
neither. Were indifferent towards each other. I must admit though, that Piros crew is
much geekier than my own, and his drawings arent as detailedQuote me on that if you
want to, net nerd fanboys. I have about as much credibility in the anime and webcomics
scene as Aaron McGruder has in the anime and hip-hop scenes. Which is to say, not
much. But oh well, I still get paideventually
I dont try as hard as I used to, to place myself amongst a sociological context. I just try
not to be a wanker, as the Britons like to say.

God. Why do I even try to understand anatomy? Most people in the online comic book
scene dont even bother when it comes to mastering that element, and they still have
hundreds of thousands of fans around the world online
Currently, I am working on a plot to defame any would be bad imitators. Any and ALL
OF THEM, just like they have tried to do to me. And we all know how good I am with
strategyMWu AH HA HA HA HA !!!! Do not worry CN. You are safe with me because
I love you.
OhGOD. Im SO LONELY! My birth mother doesnt love me. *weeps*
This is getting very, very interesting. Im starting to see some very skilled Japanese
artists in the Japanese anime industry and international and local artists in the
DeviantART of great skill capabilities finally starting to pick up on my genuine
design style, especially when it comes to the black trenchcoat and katana-gunsakimbo look. You know, the whole Mono look. I love it! Im finally influential! Im
pretty sure Ive made it. I think I finally did succeed in helping to start a new hero
archetype! Finally! This is what Ive always dreamed of doing. Up until this point,
the black overcoat look has mostly been a trend over in Japan and Hong Kong in
live action gun-fu and Hong Kong kung-fu movies. But it was never quite done in
animation or comics the way Ive done it in Americauntil now. Im making a
fashion statement in the art and design world without even having to cosplay or play
dress-up. My gothic overcoat samurai influence can clearly be seen (probably) in
such anime as Sword of the Stranger, Black Blood Brothers, Strait Jacket, Darker
Than Black, and Karas: The Revelation, among others. In other words, lots of
cinema with Black. I like my coffee black just like I like my metal. Im not
complaining! This makes me incredibly happy and content, to know that my vision
and design abilities have benefited the Japanese creative community in any way. I
love Bruce Timms Batman, Blade of the Immortal, Seto Kaiba, and X: The Movie.
But no one thought or even bothered to design an anime look with such energy until
after I did my designs. I think the timing speaks for itself. Im well aware of how fast
they strategize and produce their animation productions in Japan. This is one of the
most amazing things Ive ever had the miracle of witnessing. My genius is finally
showing itself. Either Im a now-VERY influential international designer, or Im
lucky enough to have come along at just the right place and time in history.
As I wrote in my DeviantART blog:
I'm. the original gangsta apparently. Now I KNOW everybody already KNOWS
there ain't enough room in this town for TWO wandering swordsman with black
trenchcoats and a barrage of anime weapons. I saw it him first, I saw him first
dammit! Time to die heathen!j/kpeople.
Seriously though. It's amazing. Thank god for computers. They make inking my

pages so much easier. Previously I used to ink everything by hand, until just
recently. Now I fill in much of my sillouette-ish shapes or black overlap with the
paint bucket filler tool on my digital painting software, which takes much less time
than painstakingly trying to make everything match up with a black sharpie
market, as I previously did. I was always trying to capture the sleek Frank
Miller/Bruce Timm/Jhonen Vasquez-ish look and apply it to my own style of
manga/action comics, and I think thinks are finally starting to fall into place. I
usually attempt to maintain a certain amount of sleekness and humble elagence in
my designs/comic book pages, all while portraying aggressive content. I think my
usage of positive and negative space and sillhouette-ish fashion design applies well to
my own vision and interpretation of manga and anime. I'm quite proud of what I've
accomplished as a designer so far. Makes me deeply happy.
Top all that off with a neo-noir and cyberpunk influenced look, and you've got my
trademark style! One thing I didn't see coming: Compared to everything else on the
market, my style is much more dark and macabre, or "gothic" than I expected. Not
that I'm complaining! Finally, a drawing style dark enough to match the color of tee
shirts I wear! Rock on!
http://www.stranja.jp/
http://www.straitjacket.jp/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLdGNP_2rg4
http://manga.com/titles/karas-revelation
From this point on, it is clear, I am going to need a strategy for almost everything serious
or important that I do. Whether its losing weight, travel, or work especially. I almost
always fail when I never have a real strategy. I never know what to do unless I know
How To, which is another form of saying Stratagem. Its okay though, because to me,
work is strategizing, and strategizing is fun. Thats one element Phil never taught me was
strategy, probably because with as far as hes gotten, either no one taught him to, he
didnt have one, or he never felt he needed one. I think at a certain point he felt he was
invincible with being employed by Disney, and unfortunately, that false sense of security
came back to bite him in the ass. Im saying, if something doesnt have a planning,
tactical, Hoshin, and contingency strategy and stratagem, it is bound to fail. It is the age
of strategy. It is the year of the rat after all. Rats excel at strategy, often without even
being aware of itOr DO they?