Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a

successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Discuss both views
ANSWER:

Graduating from high school, the young often wonder whether they ought to keep on
studying further or not. Many people suppose that continuing to study at university or
college can be the best way to guarantee their successful career, whereas others believe
working right after school is much better.

Working straight after graduation is beneficial in some ways. Firstly, young people are
able to earn money as soon as possible. If they finish high school, they will be mature
enough to live independently on their own income. It is common sense that having a job
can prove ones maturity. Secondly, a person who chooses to get a job instead of studying
higher is likely to progress rapidly in their career. This may bring about a good chance to
obtain a lot of real experience and skills for their chosen profession.

On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why people have a tendency of choosing
to continue education after high school. First, a college education will provide young
people with more qualifications, which is what most employers expect these days.
University graduates will probably get a much higher salary than those without university
education. Furthermore, the job market is becoming more and more competitive. In fact,
people would be well-advised to get a degree, as hundreds of applicants often chase the
top jobs. It is an obvious advantage for university graduates. For example, graduate
engineers in Vietnam are highly paid and find it easy to get a top job

In conclusion, it seems evident that both working right after school and choosing to
continue higher study are advantageous in their own ways.

274 words (Band 8.0~8.5)

Written by Ngoc Bach

IELTS EXAMINER COMMENT

Here are IELTS scores and comments:

IELTS Marking
Criteria

Task Response

Cohesion and
coherence

Lexical resource

My comments

You wrote 274 words, which is enough! Aim for 260280 to be safe. Less than 250 will lose lots of marks.
Your first paragraph paraphrases the whole question .
Your points are all relevant and well supported with
examples and explanations

There is a clear overall progression in the writing and

ideas are arranged coherently. Paragraphs and sentences
are very well constructed. Good topic sentences.You use
a range of linkers throughout the essay.

The range of vocabulary is very good and there is

flexibility in use.

Grammatical range and

accuracy
You use a range of structures accurately and there is a
good range of structures. No errors detected.

Band score

8.0

8.5~9.0

8.0

8.5~9.0

I hesitated over the score, whether the examiner would give 8.0 or 8.5 for this essay.
However, since I always try to follow the judgment of a strict examiner, I will score
8.0

PHN TCH CHI TIT

+ Task response:
Cu hi ca bi a ra l: tho lun 2 quan im vi ngi tin rng nn tip tc i
hc, trong khi ngi khc tin rng nn i lm lun (mnh dch i cho nhanh) v bi
vit ca mnh tr li hon ton y cu hi ca bi.
Bi vit chia 4 kh: m bi, 2 kh thn bi, kt lun
-Intro: Gm 2 cu. Cu 1: paraphrase li cu ca bi 1 cch ngn gn. Cu 2: tr li
cu hi ca bi: rng bi vit ny s tho lun 2 quan im nu bi. Ch l mnh
nu c th, ko dng cc cu chung chung nh This essay examines both sides of views.
l cc cu dng c cho mi bi dng discussion s b nh gi l hc thuc lng -> ko
tt
-Thn bi : 2 kh thn bi mi kh mnh u bt u bng mt cu topic sentence vit
n gin, ngn gn
Thn bi 1: mnh tho lun quan im it is better to get a job straight after school. V
c 2 nh h tr cho idea ny. Th nht, Young people often need to earn money. Th
hai, if you start your career early you start to learn skills and gain experience right
away. Mnh gii thch v pht trin cc h tr trn y
Thn bi 2: tho lun quan im cn li v cng c 2 idea nh h tr cht ch nh kh
trn. Ch nh h tr th 2 competition for jobs is very fierce, and so qualifications
are vital mnh c a ra v d c th Vit Nam For example, graduate engineers in
Vietnam are highly paid and find it easy to get a top job. Cu rt n gin nhng gim
kho thch nhng cu nh vy
- Kt lun: mnh paraphrase ngn gn cc nu trn. ch : bi khng hi quan
im c nhn ca bn. tuyt i ko nu quan im c nhn kt lun v bt k phn no
trong essay.
V nhng l do trn -> im tiu ch hon thnh nhim v ca bi vit trn l band~8.0

+ Coherence and cohesion:

Bi vit ca mnh c b cc mch lc, r rng. Cu trc on vn n gin, logic. Mi

on vn tho lun mt quan im. Cc cu topic sentence u ngn gn, n gin nu
c ca c on vn (v bm st vo cu 2 ca phn m bi)
Vi mi on vn: vic s dng cc t ni nh Firstly/Secondly tuy n gin nhng
gip gim kho nh v c ngay u l kin h tr ca bn. Mnh cng s dng cc
t nh This/It/In fact kt ni cu ny vi cu trc
Do vy, im cho tiu ch ny ca bi vit trn -> band~8.0-9.0
+ Lexical resource
Nh mnh ni trong cc video bi ging hng dn Writing ca mnh, im t vng
trong Task 2 khng phi cho cc t big words m l cho cc topic vocabs t vng
lin quan c th n ch ca bi. Vi bi ny l cc t:
mature enough to live independently/their chosen profession/working right after
school/prove ones maturity/hundreds of applicants/ chase the top jobs
V mnh s ng v chnh xc cc t
Do vy, im cho tiu ch ny band 8.0
+ Grammatical range and accuracy:
V tiu ch ny, bi vit hu nh khng c li ng php
Th hai, nu gim kho tm kim cc complex sentences. Ok, h thy y. cc cu
vi subordinate clause (mnh ph), cu iu kin, adverb clause, relative clauses. Cu
trc cu khng b lp li, thi ca ng t chia u chnh xc, s dng ng cc dng so
snh
im cho tiu ch ny band 8.5~9.0
Da trn im 4 tiu ch nh vy, im bi vit trn ca mnh l BAND 8.0~8.5