Professional Documents
Culture Documents
because of the lack of structure. Only gradually does it become evident that
the major aim of nearly every member is to find ways of relating to other
members of the group and to himself. Then as they gradually, tentatively,
and fearfully explore their feelings and attitudes towards one another and
towards themselves, it becomes increasingly evident that what they have
first presented are faades, masks. Only cautiously do the real feelings and
real persons emerge. The contrast between the outer shell and the inner
person becomes more and more apparent as the hours go by. Little by little, a
sense of genuine communication builds up, and the person who has been
thoroughly walled off from others comes out with some small segment of his
actual feelings. Usually his attitude has been that his real feelings will be
quite unacceptable to other members of the group. To his astonishment, he
finds that he is more accepted the more real that he becomes. Negative
feelings are often especially feared, since it seems certain to each individual
that his angry or jealous feelings cannot possibly be accepted by another.
Thus one of the most common developments is that a sense of trust slowly
begins to build, and also a sense of warmth and liking for other members of
the group. A woman says on Sunday afternoon, 'If anybody had told me
Friday evening that by today I would be loving every member of this group I
would have told him that he belonged in the nut house.' Participants feel a
closeness and intimacy which they have not felt even with their spouses or
members of their own family, because they have revealed themselves here
more deeply and more fully than to those in their own family circle.
4. In my experience the problem of what to do in life was not made any easier
by those who were entrusted with my education. Looking back, it seems most
odd that never once in all the years that I was at school was there any
general discussion about careers. As presumably the main object of going to
school is to prepare for after life, it surely would have been very easy and
relevant to organise lectures or discussions designed to give boys a broad
view of the enormous variety of occupations open to men of average
intelligence? Of course many boys were destined from birth to follow their
fathers careers, but even these would have benefited by glimpse of a wider
horizon. Often and often in after life I have come across people doing jobs
that I had never dreamed of before, and which would have thrilled me had I
been told about them at school. I suppose the reason for this extra-ordinary
omission is that so many schoolmasters had themselves such a restricted
view. Spending all their time working to a rigid curriculum, the passing of
examinations by their pupils gradually became the whole object of their
working life. I recognize the importance of being made to learn things that
one does not like, but surely it was not good to give the young mind the
impression that all education was a form of mental gymnastics. For example,
I used to find geometry rather fun, and, when I still had the nave idea that
what I was being taught might have some practical value, I asked what
geometry was for. The only answer I ever got was that it taught one how to
solve problems. If, instead, I had been told the simple fact that the word was
derived from the Greek ge, the earth, and metron, a measure, and that the
meaningless triangles that I was asked to juggle with formed the basis of
geographical exploration, astronomy and navigation, the subject would
immediately have assumed a thrilling romance, and, what is more, it would
have been directly connected in my mind with the things that most appealed
to me.
5. Now, if you want to stop violence, if you want to stop wars, how much vitality,
how much of yourself, do you give to it? Isnt it important to you that your
children are killed, that your sons go into the army where they are bullied and
butchered? Dont you care? My God, if that doesnt interest you, what does?
Guarding your money? Having a good time? Taking drugs? Dont you see that
this violence in yourself is destroying your children? Or do you see it only as
some abstraction?
All right then, if you are interested, attend with all your heart and mind to find
out. Dont just sit back and say, Well, tell us all about it. I point out to you that
you cannot look at anger nor at violence with eyes that condemn or justify and
that if this violence is not a burning problem to you, you cannot put those two
things away. So first you have to learn; you have to learn how to look at anger,
how to look at your husband, your wife, your children; you have to listen to the
politician, you have to learn why you are not objective, why you condemn or
justify. You have to learn that you condemn and justify because it is part of the
social structure you live in, your conditioning as a German or an Indian or a
Negro or an American or whatever you happen to have been born, with all the
dulling of the mind that this conditioning results in. To learn, to discover,
something fundamental you must have the capacity to go deeply. If you have a
blunt instrument, a dull instrument, you cannot go deeply. So what we are doing
is sharpening the instrument which is the mind - the mind which has been made
dull by all this justifying and condemning. You can penetrate deeply only if your
mind is as sharp as a needle and as strong as a diamond.
It is no good just sitting back and asking, How am I to get such a mind? You
have to want it as you want your next meal, and to have it you must see that
what makes your mind dull and stupid is this sense of invulnerability which has
built walls round itself and which is part of this condemnation and justification. If
the mind can be rid of that, then you can look, study, penetrate, and perhaps
come to a state that is totally aware of the whole problem.
6. It is always the problem of how to change an ideal into reality that gets in the
way of both the leaders and the people. A thought is not a deed and never
will be.
We are not magic men. We cannot imagine something into existence - especially
a change of behaviour. Just as we have been conditioned to be what we are now
Extra money is not to be despised. It buys automatic washers, tumble driers, dishwashers to make life easier and give more real attention-time to the children. It
buys time off excursions, holidays. It may make the difference between a town flat
and a house with a garden, a better environment for bringing up children.
For professional women there is another difficulty. To give up or even work parttime, probably means climbing painfully back on to the bottom rung of the ladder at
35 or 40 in galling subordination to younger and perhaps less able men.