Waiting for the world to end due to a nuclear

explosion probably caused by an unprovoked

kneejerk reaction on the other side of the
hemisphere
CHARACTERS:
Gregory, an American.
Grisha, a Russian.
Gregory and Grisha are in a playground somewhere in the centre of the
world. Despite wearing adult clothes, they are very much two children.
Tensions are brewing. There is a long silence.
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:

My ideology is better than yoursNA AH!

The news said so!
So did mine.
When?
What do you mean when?
But why?
How why?
Why why?
Why?
Long pause.

Both:

Anarchism.
Hysterical laugher breaks out. A longer, more awkward pause.

Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:

Ive got more friends than youTHATS NOT TRUE THATS NOT TRUEUh Huh, me and Yugoslavia are tight

Grisha attempts a Jonas snap. Fails. Awkward pause. He looks at his hand,
surprised. Gregory does the same. The pause lasts an odd amount of time.
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:

(Snapping out of it) Yugoslavia doesnt like you

What are youHes been hanging out with me talking behind your back
(Eyes widening) Well. CUBA!
Grisha shifts to face the other way Gregorys eyes widen.

Gregory:

dude

Awkward pause. The pair stand up and move to opposite sides of the space.
They sit down and pick up their toys, little rockets. Gregory starts making
rocket noises. Grisha notices this, starts copying, attempting to outdo the
other. Fades to another awkward silence. Grisha sneezes. Gregory, surprised,
jumps into action suddenly on his feet in a stance ready to throw his rocket.
Grisha scrambles to do the same.
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Both:
Both:

Oh
Oh
I willI will
Take it back!
Take whatTAKE IT BACK
What areFIVE
Oh no no no
FOUR
You cantTHREE
Oh shoot THREE
TWO
ONE

Nothing happens, the two boys looks at each other for a moment. They
break out into smiles and point at each suddenly jovial, full of respect and
relieved.
Gregory:
Grisha:

Wowwwwwwwwww
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

These noises go on for an odd amount of time. These then fade into sighs.
The two boys then go on playing with their rockets, arranging them
differently and flying them around. Grisha reaches into his toy box, he starts
pulling out Lego Bricks. He carries/ slides them across the floor to the centre
of the stage. He starts to meticulously and expertly craft a wall out of his
Lego bricks. He is doing this for a while before Gregory notices.Gregory looks
up, takes a mental note of what he sees and then looks back down to his
own toys. Continuing to play but lacking the same vigour. He looks up again,
looks like he about to say something, then glances back to his toys.Gregory
looks up once more, sooner this time, seemingly trying to speak, before
finally
Gregory:

What what are you doing

Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:

Huh?
Um what are you doing with those bricks?
(Duh!) Im building a wall.
Yeah, ok. Why?
To make sure my toys stay on my side
Oh, yeah. Sure
Gregory goes back to his toys. He stops, looks up frowning.

Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:

Actually I dont think I am okay with that.

YouThey arent yours any more than mine
They are on my side.
But I want to play with them!
Well you cant! (Pointing towards his creation) WALL!

The two stare each other, defiant. Suddenly they snap out of it, looking
slightly embarrassed. After a while, the phrase what are we doing? is
repeated four times with an emphasis on each different word
Grisha:
Gregrory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:

WHAT are we doing?

What ARE we doing?
What are WE doing?
What are we DOING?
This is ridiculous! We can be friends you know.
We cant!
Says who?
The government!
Wellscrew the government!

Hysterical laughter breaks out yet again. The laughter subsides and the two
split off subtly looking for cameras, with fear on their faces replacing any
traces of humorous encounters.
Gregory: (To the implied fake camera, almost in whisper) He didnt mean
that.
Grisha:

So what do you say? Truce? Pals? Allies? Sestry?

To validate the sincerity of his offer, Grisha proceeds to knock down the wall
he built out of Lego.
Gregory:

Sestry!

The two hug each other. It is a long hug that eventually gives off a sexual
undertone. Until Grisha sneezes again. It is a repeat of last time and the

rockets are back out.

Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:
Both:
Both:

Oh
Oh not again
I willNo you wont
Take it back!
I didnt do anyTAKE IT BACK
What areFIVE
Oh for the love Putin
FOURTHREE
Oh shoot THREE
TWO
ONE

No one shoots. Again. There is a solemn tired response this time. It is tiring
to constantly be at war.
Gregory:
Wowwwwwwwwww
Grisha:
Ahhhhhhhhhh
Beat
Gregory:
Grisha:
Gregory:
Grisha:

This is ridiculous.
Youre telling me? The only thing crazier would be a female
president of the united states.
(laughing) Or a reality television star as the republican nominee!
Yes. (laughing louder) What is reality TV?
Beat

Gregory:

I dont know!

Laughter again. The two put down their rockets and head their separate
ways abruptly. The Russian and American respective national anthems begin
to play whilst overlapping each other.
End