Samantha Santana Rodriguez English

November 19, 2016 Period 2

Country Monologue
The journey to Mzuzu was such a crazy experience. I think back to it and all I can
remember is simply feeling rushed yet liberated. When I think back I just see glimpses of
running and hiding, yet I see glimpses of freedom and rejoice. I was leaving home, but I was also
leaving my biggest fear. I was 16, had I stayed just a bit longer I would have been married off
and that would have been that. But now Im here and I question it: Do I deserve it? I dont
understand. Is it selfish of me? My mother says to forget about Balaka, to live my life here in
Mzuzu. But I know she says this mainly to keep me calm. I send her letters and she sends back
small rushed messages on random scraps of paper. No one ever thought Id leave, I didnt think
Id leave. The idea of southern girl going to the North, it was never thought of before. But now
Im here. I mean Im here and I live my life and I go to the hospital but Im not really here. I had
so many dreams; become a nurse, learn my Tumbuka, empower women. Ive achieved them all.
But it doesnt matter, Im Ateefah from Balaka I cant pretend to be Melina from Mzuzu. Friends
come over to my small home and talk for hours about everything here in Malawi. About the
struggle we all face. But they are all Melinas from Mzuzu. They will never know what its really
like. But I guess I got lucky because now Ive somehow managed to live my life as a Melina and
I guess that means Ive succeeded. But I look at myself and I still see little 16 year old Ateefah
while everyone else sees Ateefah: an empowered southern women defeating adversity.