Opening - Gay Camp

GAY CAMP: THE MUSICAL, revised 10.11.16

book by Phil Mutz/Sue K8 music and lyrics by Bradford Proctor
cue: Are you tired of being different? Do you have trouble telling the difference between "in" holes and "out" holes?
Do your hands hang from your body like a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Then we know exactly what you need...
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Gay camp, ah

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Gay camp, ah Gay camp, ah

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Gay camp, ah Gay camp, ah Gay camp, ah

Lights up on various points of the stage,

as kids are pulled from their beds by their parents.
VOICE: At Camp Acceptace, we get rid of the
gay - for good. We take the misunderstood, the
confused, the crazy...
VOICE: Spend your summer at Camp
Acceptance. The only village people
VOICE: ...and turn them into the brave, we have here are the Vietnamese
the normal, the future. maintenance staff!

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Upbeat, fun, picks up

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Gay camp, gay camp gay camp! You can be the best you can be if you

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Gay camp, gay camp, gay camp!

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Gay camp, gay camp, gay camp!

Upbeat, fun, picks up

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close your eyes and prom-ise to ag-ree

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Lock the door and throw 'way the key

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With a cer-ti-ed mon-ey back

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It's GAY CAMP g - g gay camp! You're gon-na do it, we're gon - na see to it, it's

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It's GAY CAMP g - g gay camp! it's

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guar-an- tee! It's GAY CAMP g - g gay camp! it's

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GAY CAMP, e - e gay camp! we will steer clear of the queer here,

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GAY CAMP, e - e gay camp! Wish on a star, you can be who you are, we will steer clear of the queer here,

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GAY CAMP, e - e gay camp! we will steer clear of the queer here,

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You'll be het - er- o, you'll be bet - ter, oh

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You'll be het - er- o, you'll be bet - ter, oh

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this is where you'll make your new life be gin You'll be het - er- o, you'll be bet - ter, oh won't it feel good to act

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at GAY CAMP g - g gay camp, you will t right in!

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at GAY CAMP g - g gay camp, you will t right in!
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like you should at GAY CAMP g - g gay camp, you will t right in!
Quick lights on Anton's bedtoom. ANTON,
a larger-than-life, very flamboyant gay teen,
is in the middle of an orgy.

ANTON: Hurry up already, I have science

homework to do.

MAN IN LEATHER MASK: Don't worry -

I'll give you a homework pass.

ANTON: Aw, thanks Mr. Grabowski!

ANTON'S MOM barges in.

ANTON'S MOM: Oh my God! Anton!

ANTON: Mom, knock!

ANTON'S MOM: That's it! You're going to

gay camp, young man!

ANTON: Is that like Stageoor Manor...?

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It's GAY CAMP g - g - gay camp! You're gon-na do it, we're gon - na see to it, it's

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It's GAY CAMP g - g - gay camp! Gay camp oo it's

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It's GAY CAMP g - g - gay camp! Gay camp oo it's

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(2nd chorus)

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GAY CAMP, e - e - gay camp! Gay camp oo we'll re make you,

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GAY CAMP, e - e - gay camp! Wish on a star, you can be who you are, we'll re make you,

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GAY CAMP, e - e - gay camp!Gay camp oo we'll re make you,

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bend and break you be con ven -tion- al, one dim en - sion- al,

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bend and break you be con ven -tion- al, one dim en - sion- al,

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bend and break you this is where you'll make your new life be gin be con ven -tion- al, one dim en - sion- al,

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at GAY CAMP g - g - gay camp, you will t right in!

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at GAY CAMP g - g - gay camp, you will t right in!

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won't it feel good to act like you should at GAY CAMP g - g - gay camp, you will t right in!

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Gay camp... Gay camp...

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Gay camp... Gay camp...

Quick lights up on LITTLE SUZIE, a child with a lisp played by an adult actor on their
knees, and a NUN.

NUN: I've had it! You are going to gay camp, young lady!

LITTLE SUZIE: Gay camp? What's a gay camp?

NUN: You're about to find out.

LITTLE SUZIE: But I'm supposed to go beaver hunting this summer!

Lights out on LITTLE SUZIE as the magical camp commercial returns. Happy campers
recite the Camp Acceptance theme song for Josh.

CAMPERS: Camp Acceptance, we chase the gay away

One at a time, the commercial campers step forward.

JOSH: Gay camp?

CAMPER 1: I was cured.

CAMPER 2: I was cured.

CAMPER 3: Camp Acceptance where you can finally be yourself, only better!

The commercial is gone and Joshua stands looking at the brochure.

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Gay camp, gay camp, gay camp! You can be the best you can be if you
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Gay camp, gay camp, gay camp! You can be the best you can be if you

JOSH: Gay camp.

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close your eyes and prom-ise to ag-ree Lock the door and throw 'way the key With a cer-ti-ed mon-ey back

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close your eyes and prom-ise to ag-ree Lock the door and throw 'way the key With a cer-ti-ed mon-ey back

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guar-an tee! It's GAY CAMP g - g gay camp!(clap clap)You're gon-na do it, we're gon

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guar-an tee! It's GAY CAMP g - g gay camp!(clap clap)You're gon-na do it, we're gon

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KLOP: Girl, this just ain't right!

TINA: Please don't make me go!

PAM: I'm not gay - I'm just overweight!

JOSHUA (to Mom, offstage, thrilled):

Mom! This summer, I want to go to gay camp.

C/D D/E A E/A G/A D A/C

(3rd/nal chorus)
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- na see to it, it's GAY CAMP, e - e - gay camp!(clap clap) Wish on a star, you can be who you are,

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- na see to it, it's GAY CAMP, e - e - gay camp!(clap clap) Wish on a star, you can be who you are,

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- na see to it, it's GAY CAMP, e - e - gay camp!(clap clap) Wish on a star, you can be who you are,

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we will change you, re-ar range you, this is where you'll make your new life be gin you'll have pan-dered

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we will change you, re-ar range you, this is where you'll make your new life be gin you'll have pan-dered

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we will change you, re-ar range you, this is where you'll make your new life be gin you'll have pan-dered

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to the stan - dard, won't it feel good to act like you should at GAY CAMP g - g - gay

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camp, you will t right in! Gay camp!
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