Running head: The Peaks 1

The Peaks

Mikayla Nelson-Parr

Chandler-Gilbert Community College

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Being institutionalized isnt something many people can say theyve been through. Its

looked down upon and youre instantly deemed to be a person thats lacking mental stability, or

in other terms, a crazy person. Youll hear people making jokes or telling scary stories, but

what is it really like beyond the overdramatic voices that cloud a persons judgement? Its the

constant aching pain you feel in your heart, the dark thoughts that build up until you cant take

anymore, and the fear and panic of your loved ones wishing you would be normal. The

experiences from attempting to kill yourself to when you finally feel well enough to not be caged

in a psychiatric ward isnt something that should be on a movie screen. Its a life or death

moment, the deciding factor a person will make that will change their lives for better or worse.

What most people fail to realize is the everyday struggles people with a disorder endure, and

theres without a doubt, always a negative stigma circulating around them. Youll learn at

Centennial Peaks that theres nothing you should be ashamed of, nothing you cant say, and

nothing that they havent already heard before.

Being woken up to faint troubled murmurs in the background, an icy breeze creeping up

your legs from wearing a gown that you cant recall putting on, and a nurse with your name on

the chart that shes holding in her foreign hands. You have unwanted IVs and tubes throughout

your body; it seems as if you were barely alive. There are black stains of mascara on your

mothers face and a worn-out scowl on your fathers. Your head is pounding and the voices

filling the room are drowned out. How did this happen? Why am I still alive? Why cant I do

anything right? Those are the distressing words that are clouding your sick mind and drowning

your body with illness, you keep replaying over like a broken cassette tape. You dont care how

mutilated your body is, or what trouble youve caused, youre just disappointed you cant get

anything in life right, not even killing yourself.

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Out of nowhere, you start to scream horrific cries for your parents, while begging them to

not let them take you. Its been a couple of days since your accident, and now youre well

enough to be discharged from the hospital. However, this is just the beginning of a very long

journey, and not the last hospital youll be admitted into. Tears are streaming down your face as

youre being transported into an ambulance. Its pitch black outside and youre greeted by an

EMT, then ushered to the ambulance, and propped up on a gurney. The ride to the unknown

destination feels like hours. An EMT sitting beside you attempts to make small talk and

lightheartedly says, you smell a lot better than most of the people that ride in here. While she

was only trying to comfort the terrified eyes that she was watching over, all youre able to

weakly force out is a trembling smile, and the thought in your head that you wet yourself earlier

in fear. As you arrive, youre wheeled outside and the EMTs press a buzzer along the outside

wall, waiting for personnel to open it. Walking into what is now known as Centennial Peaks,

youll being greeted by a man with a dim voice and an eerie attire; as if the place isnt

frightening enough.

The Rocky Mountains that attempt to shade us Coloradoans from the blaring sun each

morning either do an unanticipated job, or these monsters that they call staff, wake you up at

an unimaginable hour. Youre finally able to get a decent look around the facility that youve

been locked away in. The tiles are what you would imagine a school cafeteria to look like;

theres not a single object mounted on the pale cream walls, theres a short hallway to your left

that is filled with bedrooms, and to your right is the entry way of the block that youre trapped in.

There is only one window in the main seating area and theres a tall wooden gate thats blocking

your view of the outside world. The only way in and out of the block that youre in is through a

metal double doo, thats near impossible to open. Youre woken up in an unknown bed, with an
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unfamiliar voice asking you to come get your vitals taken (yes, you will be poked and prodded

first thing in the morning). If everything checks out, youre to be seated in the main area while

the rest of the adolescents slowly start to creep out. At this point youre already more depressed

and panicked than before. Youll want nothing more than to be dead or in the arms of the cold

parents that locked you away in here.

Its your first day in this unfamiliar place and youll have no idea what to expect. You can

only imagine that youll be surrounded by crazies that get put in straightjackets, youll have

doctors that want to drug you so far gone that you cant even remember your own name, and

theyll use sick forms of practice if you misbehave. After all the kids trickle out from their

rooms, youll see a variety of different personalities. Boys and girls ranging from ages 10-17,

some with tattoos taking over their body, some that look like theyre going through drug

withdrawals, and some with bandages covering their wounds. You look around the room and

you see a piece of yourself in everyone. Its a sickening comfort knowing that youre not some

psychotic self-mutilating freak thats in this world alone. Youre also in awe of the

masterpieces that these kids have made of their bodies; theyve only perfected them by making

them imperfect. Everyone around you will have the same thoughts, same opinions on this place,

and theyll all be too far gone to want help. Over 90 percent of suicide in adolescents is directly

correlating to a mental illness and its the third leading cause of death for this age group (Mental

Health By The Numbers, 2015, p.1). For many this is the last chance before entering darker

places.

You soon find out that theres very little room for social time and youre set on a schedule

with very little time to even think, but all you want to do is crawl up and be numb for eternity.

The first thing you do is form a line by the doors and you have staff circling around you. You
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finally get to leave your ward and see the rest of the facility. Sadly, the only place youll be

seeing is another hallway and a cafeteria. The cafeteria resembles everything else in this hospital,

its all the same flooring, theres nothing on the walls, and it will eventually make a person go

crazy. You probably wont want to eat from being nervous and mentally drained, but thats not a

wise idea, because the staff keep a very close eye on you. If you refuse to eat even one meal,

youre given a meal replacement thats filled with calories and nutrients, and you can expect to

fall in love with it, unless you have some form of an eating disorder. After breakfast, youre

taken back to your ward and you have a mere 15 minutes to take a shower, brush your teeth, and

get ready for the day ahead of you. Mind you that youre not allowed any personal items in your

rooms and there arent doors for the bathroom, nor bedroom. The front staff have the very

limited items youre allowed to have and you must have permission to use it. Youll be checked

on repeatedly in the short amount of time their eyes havent been laid on you. If you havent

come to realize this yet, I hope youve learned that youve been stripped of every personal right

the second you walked in here.

The activities of the day will differ, but everything you do will be some form of therapy.

You will meet individually with a therapist and psychiatrist, and will have group activities for the

rest of the day. Group therapy is a time to relate to others that are struggling with illnesses

similar to yours. Its overwhelming at times and a lot of emotions are spilling out, but its one of

the most beneficial things Centennial Peaks will offer. Mental illness has affected an estimated

43.8 million people in the United states alone yearly (Mental Health By the Numbers, 2015,

p.1). With such a growing rate of illness and such a lack of emphasis on mental health, its

important you take charge of your wellbeing. The rates of mental illness are increasing, and so is

affecting millennials from succeeding in life. 37 percent of drop outs in school are due to a
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sickness, dont let that be you (Mental Health By The Numbers, 2015, p.1). Your stay at the

hospital will soon end, or youll be transferred to a long-term care facility. This will only be a

building block pointing you to the right direction and hopefully youll be smart enough to take it.

There were no skull drills or happy pills, there were no strait jackets or screams of agony.

The Peaks offers kids without a life ahead of them a chance to rehabilitate themselves. Maybe an

institution will save you from suicide, drug abuse, and unwanted voices in your head. Taking

advantage of the medication, the therapy, and comfort in knowing someones there for you will

drastically change your life. You need to defeat the odds, the stereotypes, the misconceptions that

everyone has of you because of an uncontrollable illness. Everyone has their own battle they

fight, we all just fight it in different ways. Dont be so quick to judge someone who doesnt think

like you, or conform to what society deems fit. Be who you are, but be strong in every action you

do. Know that there will always be a brighter thing in life, and this isnt the end. Take away from

this life changing experience a second chance; the experience of being institutionalized shouldnt

be something you fear, but embraced.

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References

Mental Health By The Numbers. (2015). Retrieved February 20, 2017, from

http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers